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Commoner.
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Whether Common or Not;.
When Wife' Away
When wife's away I strivo to keep
The house as clean as clean can bo;
So, -when she comes back homo again
' No trace of dirt or dust she'll see, -But,
somehow, men don't seem to have
The knack of keeping houses neat,
So, in about three days, or less",
No scene of wreck is more complete.
Old papers here, cigar ash there,
Soiled linen scattered everywhere
The beds unmade, the chairs all gray
With dust, when one's wife is away.
She leaves the house as neat as wax,
With everything in proper place,
And when I say I'll keep It clean
A knowing smile lights up her face.
I mean to do it, too, but when
I search for linen 'tis my doom
To end the task with everything
Spread broadcast throughout ev'ry room. '.
Old flannels here, old trousers there;
The bedclothes Btacked on every chair
t t
'T would seem a cyclone had held sway ?. :
Around the house while wife's away. . ,
The very chairs seem full of life
And move around from place to places
Each corner seems to hunt for dirt m . '
To flaunt before my very face.-. ..w,H
I seek but once to cook a meal ' -,',',- ;
And then the kitchen breaks the peace;
Before I've turned the gas stove off
The kitchen's full of dirt and grease. .' ,
Bread crumbs are here, and egg-shells there, r
f;: A oick'nlng smell pervades the air 7.M'
Do what you will, work as you may,1- tfi '
Things will go wrong -when wife's .away; v.i
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But worse than dirt or grimy dust c
Is coming home at night to miss .--A
smile of welcome at the door;
To be deprived of childish kiss.
I see in ev'ry little nook
Reminders of the loved ones gone
Reminders' that I can not hide, .."
' But lonely sit and gaze upon.
An apron hero, a dolly there, .
; A hat that pressed o'er ringlets fair
Bach day a week, each hour a day,
"When "wife and baby are away;-'
Fatal Worry
"Poor Thinkem has become insane.'
"You don't tell me! What was the cause"?"
"He discovered an Impenetrable armor plate
and then worried himself crazy for fear that some
other fellow would invent a projectile that could
pierce it."
-
away; "but you just wait until man has. learned
to preserve Ice during the summer and forms a
trust." ..
This will explain why the pelicans of today. do .
not boast of their largo bills. v
NN i
But You Find tho Bill
The iceman knocks and out -you rush-
To get the ice the weather's hot. : -
. But all you find he's loft behind
Upon the porch is one damp spot. . ,;;-,
ns l .
The Prim niss Prim.
' ' "Miss Prim left the Beach Hotel because 'the
management admitted to the dining-room' men who
wore shirt-waists."
' "Who is Miss Prim?"
"Don't you know Miss Prim? She's the young
lady whose bathing suit has been the talk of the
town ever since she came."
Guarded.
"Did you say I was a liar!" exclaimed the.red
,fuced man.
; "No, I did not," replied the little man, guard
edly. "I oiily said your conversation reminded mo
of . the weather man's predictions."
Which?
'I see that Dusenberry has been honored with
the title 'of 'LL. D.'" . - ' -' -
"Oil or study?" ' ' "-'
Farmer Josh
"I see by th' papers," remarked Farmer Josh
Plowem, "that them city, fellers air awful worried
i fear ua farmers won't git enough help t' harvest
our wheat. We wouldn't hov no trouble liarvestin'
th' kind of wheat a lot o' them city fellers buy an'
sell."
v
Pride Before a Fall.
Tho pelican gazed with admiration into the
mirror-like surface of the water.
"Surely no other created thing has such a
magnificent bill," it said.
"True, ' remarked the little fish as it wriggled
ji-
A Strange Fact
Perhaps you have already made note of the
fact that tht man who drinks whisky in the winter
to warm himself, is the same man who drinks
whisky in the summe'r to cool himself.
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-W. M. M.
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v Dr. pattoriV Advice.
Xn;Patton, president of Princeton college, - de-'
livered an interesting address to the graduating
class. The following extract is1 made from the re
port. which appeared insthe papers: -
"Life is going to be hard. Those not born1
with fortunes will find it very difficult to make
them, and those who succeed will be few. Let us
not set our hearts on wealth, because we will be
disappointed.
. "The time is not far off when it will be diffi
cult to put an advertisement upon any commodity
and say of anything that we eat or drink, or wear
or use, 'this is not made by a trust.' " He had
selected as his text: "And we will take your good
liest young m&n and put them to work."
. "My particular audience this morning," de
clared Dr. Patton, "is composed of college men
whb are entering upon the work of life. I cannot
fail to remember that these college men are also
standing upon the threshold of the new century,
and the question of the relations of these young
men and of men similarly situated to these, I
think, is of some importance.
- "I think they should understand the peculiar
environment in which they live, and with which
they are, as life goes on, to become better and bet
ter acquainted.
"This environment has many phases, and I
want first to consider the intellectual situation.
"It is hard'to put your finger upon the conspicuous
ly great men now living. There is no Gladstone,
no Tennyson, no Browning,- no Darwin, and no
sign of any of them. We are living upon the great
conceps that great men have given us. Darwin's
generalization has been big enough to go around
the whole world of biology, and we aro busy ap
plying it to various fields of its application. And
yet we must remember that the men of this age
are living upon a vory high plane. Out in Denver
I noticed that the Rocky mountains disappointed;
they did not look very high, but I was a mile up
myself. And after all, the level is pretty high on
which the average man lives today, and it is a very
extraordinary sort of a man who is going to rise
so far above his fellows as to be recognized as a
conspicuously1 groat man of the Twentieth cen
tury." ; '
Touching on religion, Dr. Patton observed that
"This Is the significant feature of tho times. The
great concepts in science and philosophy are re
ligious and the great trend of thought is toward
tho consummation of the fundamental truths. It
is hard to find armaterJalist nowadays, and it is
true we aro not as easily frightened by. that word.
We havo come into the place of other nations. Wo
have stepped into their steps so rapidly and havo
formed a place among the great powers of tho
world.
"But there is a moral issue Involved; 'great
and perplexing, moral questions emerge,
"We ask ourselves, when wo see the nations
armed to tho teeth and making war upon weaker
nations, whether we are living in the Twentieth
century of the Christian era. We see that the na
tions foremost in the service of tho Prince of Peace
are not studying the things that make for peace
nor the things wherewith they should edify one
another; but are studying the things that mean
for war, and tho means by which they may destroy
one another.
"We would like to have these difficulties set
tled. We would like to feel that the march of
civilization is in harmony with the great law or
right; that there is a fundamental principle that
controls every step we take.
"We are not satisfied with the principles that
seem to govern. We are not satisfied even when
the supreme court of the United States, having .the
largest jurisdiction of any court in the world, setr
ties the great question of insular relationship to '
the constitution. It is not that they decided in this
way or that way, hut because they seem to have
decided it both ways.
"There is difficulty of a fundamental moral
kind in regard to the question as to whether the
law of God, which controls individual life, can con-
trol national life as well. " And the question 4s
whether you can justify a good end brought about
by a wrong means." . - -,-
One of the rural poets doesn't take a cool
view of-the hereafter. He sings:
"Life and love ' ' ; 4 . ' ' -
An' joy amazin'; ' ."
mittr ,..1.1 1.1.
An' the next one blazin'!"
.V r
Atlanta Constitution.
.: JSL4&
Confessional.1
(By Howard S. Taylor.)
God of cur Sires who hither fled
Across a strange and stormy sea,
Who suffered exije, toiled and .bled
To make themselves and children free,
God of the Pilgrims, smite us not!
We havo forgot! We have forgot!
How runs the story? Far away
We hear the epoch-opening gun"
Fired by our minute men at bay'
Upon the green at Lexington.
But far and faint we heed it not,
Lord God of Hosts, we havo forgot!
M-&
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The Bill of Rights our Fathers signed
And sealed with shot and saber-stroke,
Their just appeal to all mankind,
Their prayers sent up through hattle-smoke'
Their faith humane, without a blot, '''
Lord Christ, torgive! Wo have forgot! '
o
All, if where sunset Islands1 lie, . .&?
Thy brave, brown men their blood shall spill; "
Shall strike for liberty and die, . ... .,'-:,
.. Slain by the heirs of Bunker Hill, .... - '
.Thou wilt remember, wilt Thou not? ,M
Though we, Thy people, have forgot!
We have forgot! A Roman lust
Profanes our ancient, holy things;
"Wo trample justice in the dust N '
We have the rabies of the kings! . - . .
The scarlet rage of gun and sword! 'r
Have mercy on Thy people, Lord!. Amenfl
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