s
The Commonef.
liini hn mm 1 1 h i i i ii i i ii in 1 1 1 n t
serve that tho beat way for a country t' git back t' th'
right path is to toiler th' backward trail t' th' place
where th' paths forked."
I H i i ii 1 1 i i i i ii i i t in ii t i i i m i i
:: Whether Common or Not
Miscellaneous,
i K
! U 1 1 Hi HIH II H HI HIH 1 f 1 1 1 1 V
1 1 mi i ill a 1 1 ill mi i in inn 1 11 mi'
Papa Goose Rhymes.
(With proper apologies to his good wife.)
Hlckery, dlckcry, dock.
He took a flyer in stock.
Tho market -went broko
h.
And left him In soak,
And ho couldn't survive tho shook.
Old Father Hubbard went to the cupboard
To pet his poor dog a crust.
When he got thorc tho cupboard was bare,,
For bread was controlled by a trusts '
LUtle Jack Horner i &
Worked up a corner
In sugar and steel and wheat.
When the proper time came
Some checks bore his name,
And he captured a senator's seat.
Tho Man in tho Moon came tumbling down
And asked for tho right way to Wheeling.
He went to tho East and his wealth Increased
By a subsidized method of stealing.
.
ImperlalliBs.
A little lust
Forwealtk;
' A little truBt i
By stealth.
A little scheme for treasure great
. By base betrayal of the state.
A littlo greed.
For gain;
: And sad hearts bleed
V In vain
; . " For on a bjood-bought land, there Um
A soldier slain 'ncath tropic sklet.
&
There was a man in Pittsburg town,
Andhewas wondrous wise.
. He piled up wealth by tariff laws
Enacted by poor guys.
And as he saw his wealth increase
Ho posed in manner chaste
And built a block or two for books
So he'd not die disgraced. '
Old King Coal was a jolly old soul,
A jolly old seeker of mirth.
He called for wire and also some posts,
And built a neat fence 'round the eurth.
A Little Fable.
A Wise Man perambulating along the Public
nigh way fastened his Optics on a Foolish Man who was
bent double and going Through a lot of Peculiar Mo
tions. 44 vfhat are you trying to do?" queried the Wise
Man.
44 1 am engaged in a Philan thropical Work," ex
plained the Foolish Mau, growing red in the face
with his great Exertions.
44 Pray explain," said the Wise Man, peering anx
iously at the Distended' Veins on the Foolish Man's
brow.
44 1 am engaged in a Change of Labor, which is
equal to,a rest. I liave spent many years trying to
Tax myself Rich. I am now trying to Perform the
Easier Task of lifting myself over this Fence by my
Boot Straps."
Modern Definitions.
Justice A means of placing sons.
Commission Shifting responsibility and taking
credit.
Liberality Giving away something not wanted
by the giver. "
Franchise Political trading stock.
Cupid's Discernment.
Lough laughs at locksmiths, so they say,
But certain quite that Cupid
Will never laugh at stocks and bonds,
For that would be too stupid.
And Cupid, though a little child,
Sans coat, sans cuffs, sans collars,
Is far too wise to shut his eyes
And laugh with scorn at dollars.
,r -
' f
Uncle Hiram.
"I hev often noted," remarked Uncle Hiram, as
he knocked the bowl of his pipe against the heel of
his boot, 44that most politicians prefer to vaccinate
against virtue and take th' risk of an epidemic of fat
appropriations.
uAn' I hev also noted that th' shrewd polertician
always sets th' people t' hollerin' in favor o' soraethin
that the politicians don't keer a cent whether the
people git or not.
"Furtkermor, it has been ray experiunce that
sober up is t' quit drinkin'. An' that leads me V ob-
Parts of Speech.
Jingles cling to the memory years-after ose Is
forgotten. The following 44metrical grammar," found
in an old book, was used by our fathers and grand
fathersand possibly by their grandfathersas an
aid in learning tho bottom principles of that most
perplexing study:
Three little words we of ten see
Arc Articles, 44a," 44an" and 44tbe."
A Noun's the name of anything, , v
As "school" or "garden," "hoop" or "swlug.M
Adjectives tell the kind of Noun,
As "great," "small," "pretty," 4white"or "brown."
Instead of Nouns the Pronouns stand
"Her" fan, "his" face, 4tmy" arm, "your" hand.
Verbs toll of something being done.
To "read," "write," "count," "jump," "swing" cr
"run."
IIow things are done the Adverbs tell,
As "slowly," "quickly," ill" or "well."
Conjunctions join the words together,
As man "and" children, wind "or" weather.
The Preposition stands before t.
A Noun, as "in" or "through" a door.
The interjection shows surprise,
As "Oh!" how pretty, "Ah!" how wise! : '
And these are called Nine Parts of Speech,
Which reading, writing, speaking, teach.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
1 1 1 1 1 1 n 1 1-1 us 1 1 1 1 it ii n m hi 1 1 h H-
Borrowed Fun
vis i
The ncceesitles of the Philippine war of conquest
and subjugation make it necessary for the Pittsburg
Gazette to And a now reading for the Declaration of
Independence. Thus it makes these wonderful dis
coveries: The example of our forefathers In tho war of Independence Is
a stock argument in behalf of tho Filipinos. No such Idea as
that indopendance is an absoluto right Is advanced In tho Declar
ation of Independence, hut tho principle is laid down that Insur
rection against any established government Is Justifiable only
when that government has been patlontly tried and found to bs
intolerable.
The preamble of the Declaration tho bedrock on
which it is constructed makes short work of these
assumptions. "Wo hold these truths to bo self-evident,"
declares that immortal charter of human
rlghts.that to secure tho"rlghtBof Life, Liberty and tho
Pursuit of Happiness," "Governments - - instituted
among men, deriving their just powers from the con
sent of the governed." What does this mean but that
"independence is an absolute right," If a people are
disposed to assert It? If not so disposed, or united to
secure it, they can live on In a state of dependence,
the citizens or subjects of another power. Our rights
in tho Philippines rest on tho purchase from Spain of
that revolting colony, which had practically succeeded
in vanquishing tho power of Spain, and tho right of
conquest in which we have not succeeded, even with
double tho number of troops in tho Id that Great
Britain had in in its attempt to subdue the American
colonies. Tho right of the Filipinos to Institute a
government of their own, accepting the demonstrated
facts as to their unity of purpose, earnestness and
determination, is superior to any right to govern
them that the United States acquired by paying
Spain $20,000,000, or by Incomplete and it may be im
possible conquest. If this is not so the occasion ot
the Declaration of Independence and the principles
it maintains, lose tljoir value, and importance as a
lqsson in the government of mankind. The Gazette,
however, is undoubtedly correct in maintaining that
to justify our course in the Philippines wo must
abolish the Declaration of Independence and its basic
principle .that "governments are instituted among
men deriving their just powers from the consent of
the governed." Pittsburg Post.
HIH 11 Mil II I 1 I I 8 l-H-H M I MINI III !
Ask the Other Fallow.
Mr. Carnegie may tell tho truth when he says'
that lie enjoys games of chance, but his fortune indi
cates that the game he likes best is the one in which
the other fellow has Tio chance, Columbus Press-Post.
A Deep Laid Scheme
44 Yes, that's my wife down in the cellar chopping
kindling."
"IIow does that happen ?"
"She's got an idea that she's a second Mrs. Nation,
and I'm encouraging .her to learn the us of the
hatchet." Ohio State Journal.
Inherited Superstition.
44 1 never undertake an important business ven
ture in the afternoon; history has established a
superstition that makes it seem unfortunate to
do so."
44 To what historical event do you attribute such
a theory as that ?"
44 Why, the fall of Adam. That happened at the
approach of Eve, you know." Richmond Dispatch.
Merchants of the Salt Guild met at Tien-Tsln yes
terday and framed a memorial to the Czar and Presi
dent Loubet protesting against the alleged action of
the Russian and French consuls in retaining posses
sion of quantities of salt at that point.
The special cable dispatch from Ticn-Tsin to this
morning's Herald chronicling this protest of the Chi
nese merchants says that the consuls raised their re
spective flags over the salt heaps about a month after
the occupation of the city, and have refused to sur
render the property unless they are paid three-fourths
of its market value.
If the plaintiffs are telling the whole truth "about
the matter there Is no question that they will receive
prompt redress from St. Petersburg and Paris. The
Czar's attitude in China from the first has been char
acterized by humanity and fair dealing, and the tem
per of the French government is plainly exhibited in
the fact that it is at this moment sending back to tho
Chinese the objects shipped to France as her portion
of the loot taken by the forces of the powers. New
York Herald.
Fixed by Law.
Carper They say "Time is money." That's all
right, but how are we going to determine how much
money a given period of time is worth?
Rownder It's easy to fix a standard. A day is
equal to $1.
Carper How do you make that out?
- Rownder Why, didn't you ever hear a .magis?
trate say, " Ten dollars or ten days?" Philadelphia
Press.
If international arbitration is ever to become th
rule and not the exception, no fairer opportunity for
a beginning could be found than is now offered in
China. The nations which lately met in a peace con
gress and found themselves entirely agreed in theory
are one side the other begs for arbitration and
pledges herself to abide the verdict. Christian civili
zation can furnish an object lesson to all its rivals on
a stage which engages the attention of Moslem, Budd
hist and Brahman alike; the oppressive use of power
will hurt us in all ages to come. Jacksonville (Fla.)
Times-Union.
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