-fliwywirinnjir-"
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The Commoner.
s"fst w T!"w
."
A Cure
For Vanity.
quotations.
Goods of Amorican manufacture can "be found
all over tho world. They come into competition
with the labor of all other countries, and yet,
under tho protonse that our industries are infants
and need government aid, a pationt and long
suffering people tolerate a high tariff whilo great
monopolies hide behind the wall and are less
kind to American citizens than to those who
reside in foreign lands.
.
Buying The fact that so many heiresses
Titles. ftre infatuated with titled for
eigners and marry them to secure
social distinction abroad suggests a new use that
could be made of colonies.
According to our Constitution titles of nobil
ity arc not to be tolerated in this country and the
possessors of titles must renounce them upon
becoming Americau citizens. If, in the pending
cases, the court holds that the Constitution does
not extend to Porto Rico and tho Philippines, the
President might justify the creatiou of a few
Lords, Dukes and Princes in "our new posses
sions" for the benefit of ambitious girls. It would
keep the money under the American fl:.g and help
the balauce of trade.
Not all the sayings worthy of
preservation are embodied in the
standard compilations of familiar
"William Wirt has no place in these
compilations, and yet that eminent lawyer gave
utterance to many notable sentiments.
On one occasion, during a famous murder trial.
Mr. Wirt wrote his wife that the gallery was
filled with men and women,' whose presence, an
intimate friend had told him, was due to a desire
to hear his (Mr. Wirt's) speech.
"Yain creature, say you?" wrote Mr. Wirt,
"Vain enough; but not on this account. The
man who knows and feels his own foibles and can
draw off from himself so far as to make a proper
estimate of his own imperfections will not be
hurt by the flatteries of others."
Consolation The Sultan of Turkey is so fear
for Picblans. ful of death by poison that ho
has given to his cook a set of
royal seals with which each plate of food is sealed
up in an iron and steel coffer. This is brought
to the Sultan in order that he may open it with
his own hand. lie alone knows the combination
of the lock, and when he is about to dine he
breaks the seal and removes the food. In addi
tion to these precautions, fifteen trusted spies
watch the cook and a body guard conveys the food
coffer to and from the dining-room. After all,
there are some consolations in povertv. Americans
who have grown restive under the prohibition
against eating pie with, a knife, will know how
to sympathize with the embarrassments under
which the "Unspeakable Turk" labors when he
prepares for his royal feast.
.J..J.
Royal There was a time when high fed-
Sport, eral officials found sufficient ex-
citement in decoying the fleet
tvinged duck or in. angling for the sportive bass,
but such recreations seem to be passing into
"innocuous desuetude," as it were. With the
Btrenuous life begotten of imperialism our officials
must have adventures which will stir the blood
and add spice to the Uvea of those who are
prevented by public duty from joining in the
chase of unappreciative subjects subjects who
are trying to elude the blessings of benevolent
assimilation. As the Romans used gladiatorial
contests lo break tho monotony of peace and
drive away ennui between wars, even so the mili
tant members of officialdom may have to resort
to bear-killing and lion-hunting to euliven tho
hours between insular campaigns. At present
the hunting is done in the forests and as much
secrecy is observed as a well-equipped literary
bureau will permit, but when colonialism is
fully developed and the doctrine of force perme
ates the masses, there will be a clamor for public
performances in the arena.
Vice-Presidents can then delight the populace
with deeds of darinc: and thrill them with hair
breadth escapes, and thus stimulate recruits for
the foreign service. Royal sport comes high, but
we must have it.
Planetary They talk of attempting eommuu-
Dlsturbances. ioation with Mars as if it were
something new. The fact is, the
republican leaders have for years been under tho
influence of the planets. Mr. ITauna has been
Jupiter's special representative aud has ruled on
republican Olympus with as much authority as
was ever shown by "The Thunderer."
The various rings which encircle the republi
can organization prove clearly that the party's
star has long been in close conjunction with Sat
urn ; the hidden forces which are pushing the
ship subsidy bill would excuse the suspicion that
Neptune is at work with his trident; and what
power but the blood-star Mars could have led the
party of Liucoln into wars waged for conquest
and the purchase of trade?
What, we need is not wireless telegraphy be
tween the earth and the stars, but somo means of
insulating the republican party against planetary
currents.
Uniform Uniform divorce laws is a reform
Divorce Laws, that presses upon public atten
tion. During the past ten years
the privileges of the divorce court have been so
abused that the institution upon which depends
the 8acredness and happiness of the home has suf
fered degradation. In some states divorce mav
be too readily secured, while in a few the ob
stacles to legal separation are too great. It
would seem that New Jersey belongs to the latter
class. The wife of one of the men convicted of
murdering the young girl at Patterson, New Jer
sey, has discovered that unless she tikes advan
tage of the more liberal laws of some other state,
she cannot secure a divorce for the reason that im
prisonment for crime does not constitute ground
in New Jersey. There is such variety in the
several states that it is important that uniform
laws be adopted throughout the Union in order
that, in the eyes of tho law, a man may not be a
benedict in one state and a bigamist in another.
Significant-Facts.
"It is a simple problem in arith
metic," says the Johnston (Pa.)
Democrat, "When Mr Rocke
feller will be the whole thing. Day before yes
terday it was the copper mines, yesterday the
great banks of the metropolis, today it is the
railroads. What will he buy tomorrow? And
the significant part of his operations is that tha
more money he spends on dividend-paying invest
ments the more money ho has to spend."
Mr. Rockefeller's latest reported purchase is
tho Missouri Paoific, and no sooner had tho deal
been consummated than Missouri Pacific stock
took an upward bound. It is interesting to ol-(
serve that everything which this magnate touches'
turns to gold. Perhaps implicit faith in his!
business ability, or public confidence in his good'
luck, may have something to do with the upward
trend of every stock in which ho invests. It is
more likely, however, that Mr. Rockefeller's abil
ity to corner tho entire supply of stock has some
thing to do with the advance in the price of
Rockefeller's stock.
Auother significant part of Mr. Rockefeller's
operations is, that the moro money he spends on
dividend-paying investments and the moro money
he has to spend, tho less dividends other people
obtain, and the moro wish other peoplo are re
quired to pay for the commodities and the privi
leges in which Mr. Rockefeller deals.
Control tho A New York paper suggests, as
City Council. a preliminary to getting control
of the street railways, that an
effort be made by the people to got control of tho
city council and tho city government generally.
This is not a moro bit of pleasantry. It is, in
fact, a valuablo suggestion. Municipal owner
ship of public utilities is becoming more and
more popular among people of tho cities. And
yet many people, who earnestly advocate this plan,
give little thought to the character of the men
whom they elect to their municipal offices. If
the newspapers are to bo believed, tho averago
board of aldermen is influenced considerably more
by the corporation managers than it is by tho peo
ple. If the suggestion of this New York paper
be. carried out, municipal ownership will very
soou become a reality. The arguments in favor
of municipal ownership arc so complete that tho
people, when they control their city authorities
will also control their public utilities.
Two Dozen The New York World is bur-
Pockets, dened with the once-popular no
tion that American legislation
should be framed to promote the greatest good of
the greatest number, and never- to benefit tho
few at the expense of the many. Having ana
lyzed Mr. llanna's ship subsidy bill for tho pur
pose of determining how many pockets are to bo
benefited by it, the World is shocked by its dis
coveries and declares that the bare fact ought to
make any senator, even Air. llanna, blush to
vote for it. The World has discovered that of
"the whole list of ships that are entitled to tho
highest subsidy rate fixed by the bill nine-tentha
are owned by just four companies to-wit, tho
International Navigation company, tho New York
and Cuba Mail company, the Pacific Mail Steam
ship company and tho American Mail Steamship
company. Nine-tenths of the smaller subsidy
rates that would be paid on foreign-built steamers
would also go to four concerns only, and theso
four are really only two operating under differ
ent names namely, the Standard Oil Trust and
the Pennsylvania Railroad. Under tho clauses
which provide bounties for ships now building
for foreign trad e in American ship-yards and half
bounties for ships building abroad for American
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