Nebraska Newspapers

    A SUIT OF
'READY MADE
CLOTHING
fNE. morning in
June Augustus
Bunker received a
letter. It is not
such a very unus
ual circumstance,
-i j -
ipnirlvX cheap postage, for
y I an individual to
receive a letter,
that we have seen
fit to chronicle it,
i but by that letter
hangs a tale. It
came from Mr. Bunker's Aunt Mercy,
who resided in the little suburban
village of Tremont, We will look
over car hero's shoulder while he
reads it a very impolite proceeding1,
but the only one which will give us a
.knowledge of the contents:
Dear AtcrsTts As warm weather Is at
band and the city must be very hot and un
comrortab'e, I write to you to come out and
pass a few weeks with us at Tremont There
1 pood flshin r in the vicinity, and finer walks
are not to te found anywhere than our city
can boast. Also there are a host of pretty
j-oun ladie here, which is no small recom
mendation, I take it. My husband s niece
Miss Helen Browne a charming younz irirl, U
f pending the summer with us, so you will not
l-e lonely. Please let us seo you early next
week as possible. Your affectionate aunt.
JlEKCY t'OSTEHSE"
Augustus read the letter, and tossed
np his hat. The very thing! He had
just been wondering where he should
ro to rusticate.
Would he go? To be sure. Helen
Browne a pretty name the first of
it. and as for the family title it had
been borne, and was still borne, by a
great many respectable people. And
spelled with a final e it looked very
well written, but wnat mattered it.
ain- way? it could be safely merged in
the name of Bunker, and who would
be the wiser?
Tremont must be a paradise. And
he had heard his mother say that
Aunt Merej- was the very princess of
good cooks. And good cooking was
not to be despised by a fellow who
-passed his life in a third-rate boarding-house,
where fried mackerel was
a treat, and boiled onions a luxury.
Those fine walks? He could explore
them with Helen. That capital fish
ing? He wondered if Helen could put
a worm on a hook without squirming.
Wouldn't it all be glorious? glori
o-u-s!
Suddenly his castles fell.
Jones and Smith were making him a
suit of clothes, and it was three weeks
yet to the time they had promised
they should be finished; and Jones
and Smith, though excellent work
men, conld not always keep their en
gagement. Augustus remembered
with a shudder that it had been just
nine months and three days after they
had promised to finish the last suit
they had got up for hiin, that they
were finished.
-"Well, well," remarked Augustus,"
'"deuce take the tailors, and deuce
take the clothes! And I've not
;a thing to wear this melt
ing weather. I can sympa
thize with Miss Flora McFlimsey.
But there are ready made clothing
establishments. Jenkins patronizes
them, and it's a pity if they can fit
Jenkins, they can't fit me!"
So that very afternoon Augustus
-called upon Messrs. Pinch and Pullem
and looked at their wares. Their
stock looked well there was no gain
saying that, and Mr. Pinch warranted
the sewing to outlast the cloth.
Augustus tried on a pair of lilac-col-oroI
"riant aloon s.
S;.Tni mf t ho v arc n. litflp
tight." he remarked to Mr. Pinch.
"Splendid fit. sir,' splendid!"' return
ed that enthusiastic 'gentleman.
. "Look as if they growed on you! Not
a wrinkle, sir! and, by Jove! not a
single baggy look about them any-
wwhere! And ' they'll stretch, sir,
AND HE VENT IN.
-stretch to your form those Scotch
cloths always do! Only piece of the
Jcind in America! Imported it myself,
; sir! Splendid fit! I declare, sir, I
couldn't have done better if I had ta-
- ken 3'our measure.'
So the pantaloons were purchased.
Next cane the coat. Army blue
Augustus could wear nothing else.
He was patriotic to the backbone no
youg man had done more for his
country than he had. He had given
ten cents weekly to the soldiers' aid
.society; purchased worth of pin
vushions and watch-cases of the pret
ty girls at the sanitary fair and then
lie had cheerfully yielded up his
eousins, and his uncles, and his next
door neighbors' sons, to help tight the
battles of his country and he had
fbe en heard to declare, on several oc-
ca-sjons, that he was ready to if he
conld leave his business and they
called for him, but as lie never went,
we must conclude that the army was
. to full that they did not want him.
'.The suit was purchased, and three
days afterward Augustus, clad in the
new clothes, "might have been seen"
.in the cars en route for Tremont. He
. had a, silk umbrella to protect his
beaver if it rained, and a valise con-
- taining the proverbial change of linen.
Tremont was reached just before
- nightfall, and at the depot he found
his Uncle Jack and a young lady
. awaiting him.
. Shades of Venus! That young lady
was the fairest feminine creature he
1. .1 .. 1 1 f-. 11 nwl
lidu seen. iili uii t w . uuu
round-top hat were magnificent! And
i her face was such a concentration of
i roses and lilies an I violets, and all
set in the gilt frame of golden hair
why, Augustus head whirled and he
lp
felt weak in the knees, like one who
has taken a dose of tartar emetic.
He rode to his Aunt Mercy's beside
Helen, feeling very much like one in a
blissful dream. Like the boy we have
all heard of he didn't care Whether
school kept or not.
Helen had such a voice and such a
hand and wore such charming bal
moral boots, laced with scarlet.
Aunt Mercv was a real princess a
fairy god mother fully equal to Cin
derella s,he thought, and he gave the
old lady such a hug round -the neck
that her collar-bone felt twisted for
two hours afterward.
For three whole days matters went
on swimmingly. Helen and Augustus
walked, and rode, and played chess.
and wound stocking yarn for Aunt
Mercy, and pulled the cat's ears,
after the manner of young people
from time immemorial.
Of course Augustus fell in love, and
of course Helen thought him a little
the nicest you nsr man she had seen;
and Uncle Jack and Aunt Mercy
looked on approvingly.
On the fourth day of his stay thero
was a picnic in Maple Elm, a lovely
grove by the side of Swift river.
Augustus drove Helen over. He
looked at her pink cheeks anj at the
pink ribbons iu her hat, and
at her braided skirt over
which her buff chambray dress
was looped and his resolution
was taken. Before they returned
home, he meant to know his fate. In
consequence of making this decision
he was nervous all the morning. He
tied his horse by the handle of a din
ner basket, put the blanket over a
stump instead of over Dobbin, and
said yes, sir, to Helen whenever she
addressed him.
But a man who is conscious of
standing upon the brink of fate may
be excused for making mistakes iu
"ender.
Augustus and Helen satdown a lit-
ue apart irom tne others on a mossy
hillock close by the bank of the
river. The 3-oung man touched her
hand, which lay on her lap.
"My dear Helen," he began, "it is
needless to disguise the truth! Con
cealments arc " he had proceeded
thus far when a gust of wind lifted
Helen's hat, with the pink ribbons,
and sent it dancing off in the direction
of the river.
Augustus sprang up suddenly and
gave chase. He thought he heard a
strange sonnd, but he was too intent
in saving the hat to stop for mere
sounds. He stooped and caught it
just as it was going over the bank,
and began to retrace hii steps.
"Oh, Mr. Bunker!" cried Miss Mer
rill the most delicately modest of all
old maids, and a little near-sighted
'You are losing your pocket-handkerchief!
Goodness gracious!" cried she,
taking a better look; "it is not a
pocket-handkerchief! Oh, my soul
and body!"
Augustus looked at himself and felt
inclined to say oh, my soul and body!
himself for he came to the knowl
edge with one glance, that thos3
pantaloons which were such "a splen
did fit," had burst up like the boiler
of a Mississippi steamboat, and his red
flannel drawers were striping him off
like the red paint on a barber's pole.
"The d dickens!" cried he, tak
ing a step backward, with some sort
of a vague idea of escaping some
where. That step was fatal he was
so near the brink of the river, that
nothing could save him, so he went
in. Fortunately he could swim, and
not stopping to deliberate he made
for the opposite bank, which he
reached in safety. He looked back
and oh, horrible! There on the oppo
site shore stood Helen, and three or
four other girls and they were all
giggling.
This was a drop too much. Return
he could not, and at the top of his
speed he made for the woods. Toward
night he came upon an old farmhouse,
and to the mistress he related his
melancholy adventures, and received
from her a loan of her "old man's"
bark-colored un whisperables in which
to return to the city.
Augustus received a letter of con
dolence from his Aunt Mercy, and
Helen sent her love, and hoped he
would come to Tremont in season for
the blueberries but Augustus gave
vent to a hard word that looks bad on
paper, and burnt the latter.
A year afterwards he married a
red-haired widow with five children
and it is our opinion that the present
Mrs. Bunker owes her position en
tirely to a suit of ready made clothing.
Caue of the Ynlriinoe on the Moon.
Tho best existing map of the
moon's surface, one devoted e pe
eially to the mountainous regions,
shows 132,856 crater-shaped projec
tions, of which number upwards of
100, 00 J may be seen by aid of a tele
scope of only medium power. The
origin of these craters has been the
subject of much discussion of late
amonc the astronomers, it being the
opinion of many eminent authorities
that they were caused by the lunar
surface (probably at a time when it
was in a plastic state) being bom
barded with aerolites o meteorites.
Dr. Gilbert was the first geologist of
high standing to favor this curious
opinion basing the idea on the fact
that one of the craters in Arizona
was actually formed b the falling of
such a fctone from the heavens.
Lion an -I Hi r.4e.
If a lion and a strong horse were
to pull in opposite directions the
horse would pull the lion backward
with comparative case; but if the
lion wero hitched behind the horse
and facing in the same direction. and
were allowed to exert its strength in
backing, he would easily pull the
horge down upon his haunches or
drag him aero s the rng. to much
greater is his st rength when ex'erted
backward from the hind legs than in
forward pulling. Chicago Journal
He Need Not Depalr.
George, in despair I must be an
idiot. I don't seem to be able to
find any suitable vocation.
Mabel, tearfully. Never mind.
George. If worst comes to worst you
can become a diplomatist Chicago
Keccrd.
A Cnlversal Fallinc.
What's old Swizzles, the million
aire, looking so pleased about? He
just lost $10, ')0) in stocks."
5" Yes, but afterward he managed
to,. get a free tick:t to a seventy-fi;e
eelit show." Chicago Record.
PRIVATE DETECTIVES.
A. Vast Amount of Humbujr and Illark
malliur Done by Them.
It is a long while since the court
nave dealt with the private detec
tives, and as a result the men who
ply this particularly nefarious trade
are becoming unusually prominent
aain in Now York. They are
advertising extensively, says the
New lork Sun, and many of the old
offices, which were shut up when
the crusade against them began in
earnest a few years ago. have been
reopened and the old shingles hung
out again.
Tho private detectives wero driven
out of business by the newspapers
and the strict attitude in the matter
taken by the police. The work of
these men is nearly always sneakish
in character. They make & special
ty of preying upon the jealousy or sus
picions of married women, and their
business is a lucrative one. because,
as is generally known to the police,
they almost invariably sell out to
bcth parties. A woman who is sus
picious of her husband is caught by
the attractive advertisement of one
of these agencies and ventures into
tho clutches of the manager of the
concern. She wishes to have her
husbmd shadowed, and two men are
detailed to watch his movements.
Shadowing is no longer profitable in
New York, and is seldom resorted to
by the regular police force.
If the detective succeeds in find
ing out one or twofu-.ts about a man
that he would not care to have his
wife know, he makes an arrangement
with him by which all the reports
submitted to her are revised by him.
In other words he writes the reports,
while tho detectives take up some
other case. Their charge is usually
?4 a day for each man who is sup
posed to be shadowing a victim, so
it costs the wife a day for a re
port which her husband dictates,
which usually ows him in the light
of a painstaking and unexception
able husband. The amount which
the husband pays depends upon the
ability of tne agency to beat him.
It has been proved in scores of in
stances that the business is one of
blackmail and fraud, and tho police
view with some alarm the great in
crease 01 agencies during tho past
year.
Shameful Wantc
I.ord-Chanceilor Eldon was ener
getically aided in his parsimonious
iiabits by his wife, of whom it was
said that 6he and her daughter
but one bonnet between them,
morning, intending to enjoy a
hours' sport after a rainy night,
had
One
few
he
ordered Bob, the pony, to be saddled.
Lady Kldon told him he could not
have it. but company beinjr in the
roOiii, gave no reason. In a few
minutes, however, the servant ap
peared and announced that Bob was
roady. "Why, bless me!" cried her
ladyship, "you can't rile him. Lord
Kldon. he has trot no shoes on.
Oh, yes! my lady," said the ser
vant, "he was shol last week."
Shameful!" e:-.claimed her lady
ship; "how dared you, sir. or any
body, have that pony shod without
orders? John," continued she, ad
dressing her husband, "you know
you only rode him out shooting four
times last year, so I had his shoes
taken off, and have kept them in my
bureau ever since. They are as good
as new, and these people have shod
him again; we shall be ruined 3,
this rate!" Argonaut
Too Small for Cat.
The young man from tho city hat
been fishing. He hadn't had much
luck, but it was more than he was
used to, and he looked very jubilant
as he strode into the farmhouse
kitchen with his catch.
What'je git?" asked his host
'Oh, nothing much. Just a few
catfish."
"Mean them?" the farmer inquired,
pointing with his pipostem.
"Certainly. They're not very
large. But there's no doubt about
their being catfish."
"Wal, ir.ebbe they passes fur cat
fish out whur you coma from. But
here we calls them kitten lish. Den
ver Tribune.
(Ine Sirarro ol Opposition.
"It seeus a shame." sa'd a visitor
at tho capitol, "for a man to serve
his country faithfully and then bt
aropped out of sight. I'm m favor
of lettin' 'em hold ortico during good
behavior."
"Well," replied his companion, "it
might be a good idea. Hut I dou't
know but some o' the senators ud
look at it as an effort to shorten
their terras." Washington Star.
Large Head With Small Krln.
Dr. Crochley Clapbam. wno ha.
made measurements on 4.000 inmates
of asylums, says that insane heads
are larger on the average than sane
heads, though insane brains are
smaller. According to Dr. Clapharr
the form of the insane head is usu
ally cuneiform or arrow-shaped,
with the greatest diameter posterior
to the central point of the head.
Kel-s on Siht.
Peddler Have yoj any daughter s,
mum? Housekeeper Sir! Please,
mum, I don't ask out of vulgar cu
riosity, mum. I'm selling resona
tors." "What are' they?" "You
hang on3 up in the hall. mum. and
it so magnifies every sound that a
good-night kiss souuds like a cannon
shot" "(Jive me three." New
York Weekly.
At the l'ltnlo.
Young Man Miss Esmerelda. per
mit me to kiss those ruby Hps just
ouee.
Young Lady O, no. Mr. De Smith,
nor nun has ever kissed me.
Young Man Me either; I'll swear
to it
Yum, yum! Texas Sittings.
A lie rt felt Wish.
Pedestrian, to beggar I have little
money to give you. because I am a
poet. and. what is more, my poems
are not to be published until I am
dead. Here's ten cents.
Beggar Long life to yo. sir.
N. Y. Weekly.
Nankie Doodle.
The air now known as "Yankee
Doodle" is older than the time of
Cromwell, and was well known in
the colonies prior to the revolution
under the name of "Nankie Deodla."
DOWN IN THE SHAFT.
SWARMS OF RATTLESNAKES
IN A DESERTED MINE.
lie Wat Hard Up, ao He Took the Job
of ('leaning The 111 Out for One Hun
dred Dollars Wouldn't Care to Repeat
the Experience at Higher Kates.
"I earned $100 once in less than
two hours working in a mine," said
Charles Campbell, a compositor,
but I had to kill 120 rattlesnakes to
do it I wouldn't do the job over
again for less than $1 per snake. I
was in hard luck on the coast, and
happened to drift into the fine gold
district of the San Joaquin, where
a company was working the White
Quartz mine. At the time I dropped
in on 'em they found that they had
to bring back into the service again
a shaft that had been abandoned sev
eral years before. The shaft was Hd
feet deep, and thero was a tunnel at
the bottom of the same length.
"Through long disuse the ehaft
had become choked with debris at
the mouth of the tunnel, and it had
to be cleaned out before the shaft
could be used again.
"The very day I got there tho
company had sent two workmen
down the shaft to dig out the debris,
but they bad hardly landed at the
b ttom before thev signaled frantic
ally to be hauled up. When the
bucket got to the top the two men
were cowering in the bottom of the
bucket, pale as ghosts, and so nearly
scared to death that they had to be
helped out. It was some time be
fore they were able to give any ex
planation. Rattlesnakes was what ailed
them. The shaft, they said, was
full of rattlesnakes, lying about
everywhere, big and ugly. They
were so thick, they declared, that
the noise of their rattles in tho
depths of
disturbed
them deaf.
tho shaft, when the men
tho colony, almost made
The men had not dared
step from the tub, but had signaled
hastily to be raised to the surface.
"A lantern lowered to the bottom
of the shaft showed that the men
knew what they were talking about.
The depths were literally alive with
big rattlers, and they writhed and
tumbled about, furious at the intru
sion of the light among them. Some
of the savage old chaps struck their
fangs against the glass of the lan
tern, so that we could hear the sound
of the contact where we stood gazing
down on the cheerful sight from the
mouth of the shaft, and the noise of
the fierce chorus of rattles was like
the rasping of a field full of
locusts. The sight and sound made
me homesick. 1 haven t seen or
heard anything like that for years
not since I left ray native place in
the big coon country. Tennessee.
"That rattlesnake music at the
bottom of the mine shaft "way out on
the Pacific coast made me honiosick.
I began to pine for the big coon
country, but I hadn't a cent. If 1
hadn't been so homesick I don't be
lieve I'd have jumped at tho o.Ter
the superintendent of the mine made
after ho found there was no other
way to get those rattlers out of that
shaft.
1 will give $100 in gold.' he
said. to any one who will clean out
them snakes!'
"I stepped to the front.
"Make it $10) ia gold and a quart
of whisky and I'll go you!" said I.
"He added the whisky and we
closed the deal right there. I bor
rowed a pair of buckskin leggings
and a pair of buckskin gloves Arm
ing myself with a long club and the
bottle of whisky, and taking a lan
tern, I jumped into the tub and they
lowered me to the bottom of the
shaft I hadn't intended to be hoist
ed until I had bagged all the rat
tlers in sight But. after threshing
away for twenty minutes at the
snakes as they hurried away to hid
ing places or showed light, and kill
ing all that I could get my club on,
the poisonous odor that exudes from
these deadly reptiles when they are
angered was too much for me. Even
Pacific coast whisky couldn't coun
teract it. and I felt mj-self growing
dizzy and faint.
1 had thrown into the tub tho
rattles I had killed, and was getting
into it myself to signal for a hoist
beforo I succumbed to tho noxious
rattlesnake air I was breathing,
when, in a niche in 0110 side of the
shaft, even-with my shoulder, not a
foot and a half away from ray throat,
I caught sight of a big rattler coilei
and ready to strike.
"Mechanically 1 threw my head
and shoulders back, just as the snake
launched his big. arrow-like head at
my throat. That movement of mine
savcd.me. Tho rattler's aim fell
short His fangs were buried in the
collar of my coat, an inch from my
jugular. I instantly clutched the
reptile with one hand around its
neck, and with the other, as I tum
bled unconscious into the tub. I
pulled the rope.
I did not know when I reached
the top, but tho superintendent told
me when I came to that when the
men who were at tho windlass saw
me in the tub and what I wits bring
ing up with mo, they dropped tho
crank and ran. But for the fortu
nate presence of a stalwart Mexican
(a giant miner named Valarez), who
caught the crank as it came around
and held it. I would have gone
plunging back to the bottom of the
shaft, and my fate would not have
been pleasant.
"And I can't say that I blame the
men much who were manning that
windlass. Lying in the bottom of
the tub. apparently deal. I was still
clutching the big rattler by the
throat, his fangs almost in mine. and
lying about m were twenty-seven
enormous anl hideous looking rat
tlers, victims of my club. Seems to
me I'd have dropped something my
self and ran if I had seen such a
sight a that coming up out of the
dark depths of a mine shaft
I revived in a few minutes, and
was soon feeling in shape to go down
and finish ray contract I don't
know how I could have done it, but
in the twenty minutes I was in the
shaft I had drank half of thequart
of whisky. I remained Ja the bot
tom forty-five minute that trip, and
I brought out Sfy. seven dead rat
tlers to the surf J;e. I had to chase
some of them iijft0 the sloping tun
nel. I hai at Wbed the remainder
of tho whisky, ;4nd when I made my
third trip ten minutes after I car.n
up. I took down another pint I
was down just forty-five minutes I
garnered forty-eight rattlers, and
finished the third pint of whisky.
If there was another snake left
in the shaft or tunnel I could not
find it, and the superintendent hand
ed me over five twenty-dollar gold
pieces.
VENICE BUILT IN A SWAMP.
The City . Founded., as a Itefuze From
Savage Northern Invaders.
The city of Venice is approached
from behind by a railroad construct
ed over a stretch of swamp which
is not very unlike the near ap
proach to several New Jersey
coast towns. There is a trifle more
water and not so much grass, but,
according to a writer in the Phila
delphia Telegraph, the ride into the
city is anything but a subject for a
chapter of fine romance. Ont be
yond this swamp was another swamp
which was a little higher. It had
been out of the water longer, and
had caught enough of seaweed, sand.
shells and sediment to be fit for birds
to nest on. ihere was one island
called tho I'ialto. which was really
quite secure, and around this one
there was said to be about seventy
five or eighty other islands, which
to-day are occupied by the rity of
Venice. Some of these were origin
ally not islands at all. They were
mere high places in a great
bog. which, by the cuttUig of
channels and by artificial means,
were converted into more or
less fit places for the erection of
buildings. Without consulting his
tory, one could almost guess that
such an unfavorable spot as this was
not selected as the site for a city
out of free choice; and, indeed, it
was not. Venice was started during
the fifth and sixth centuries. Tho
inhabitants of Padua and a few more
north lloman cities, chased out by
the Huns, the Goths and other
tribes of barbarians, took refuge
there in au Adriatic lagoon. The
savages of Asia had no boats, so
that the settlement was very safe,
and. leading an independent life,
prospered by itself during the mid
dle aires at a surprising rate. It
was a monstrous work to make the
city secure from the sea. Ship
loads of stone were brought from
other coasts. Dams and canals were
built at great cost, and the residents
finally got enough of dry land about
them to feel moderately safe. It
was still, however, a difficult thing
to find foundations for the houses.
especially as many of the rich men
desi.ed to put up heavy marble pal
aces, and it frequently costs more in
Venice to-day to sink the rocks and
piles for a house than it docs to put
on the superstructure. Few cities
have ever been built under greater
difficulties.
Shell Still Servd as Money.
A small part of the commerce of
the world is still carried on by the
use or shells as a medium of ex
change. The Portuguese found this
sort of money in use by the natives
of the eastern coast of Africa when
they opened up trade in tnat region
and have found it to their advantage
to continue the practice. Fortunes
a-e said to have been made by col
lecting the shells on one part of the
African coast and putting them in
circulation at a pcint only a few
hundred miles away. These shells
are sold by weight The price varies
according as the supply compares
with the demand. Prices have been
known to double and even treble
within a few months. The prices
also vary greatly within short dis
tances. What has cost the merchant
from fifty cents to $1 iu the market
will often bring him $7 or $ worth
of goods.
A Difference of Views.
"I am almost afraid. Miss Squeers,
said the impecunious young man who
had taken her to an after-theater
supper, for which he had been hoard
ing money for months, "I am almost
afraid to ask you to cat such a meal
as this just before going to bed."
"Oh, never mind," answered Miss
Squeers. smiling pleasantly. "If it
doesn't answer we can easily order
some more, you know." Chicago
Record.
Colors.
Bed denotes courage; blue, truth,
white, purity; green, jealousy, yel
low, inconstancy: black, mourning;
brown, melancholy; yray, remem
brance; violet, sympathy.
rnrnmonU in Valparaiso.
Nearly one-fifth of the deaths in
Valparaiso are from pneumonia. In
Bombay the deaths from the same
disease are in the ratio of only
twenty-six in 10.0J0.
JESTS AND JOKELETS.
Bacon They say Mrs. Shrew's mind
is all gone. Egbert I'm not surprisetl.
She used to give her husband apiece
of it every day.
"Brifkins has graduated from the
law school, hasn't he?" "Yes." "Prac
ticing?" "Not yet He's looking for
somebody to practice on."
Ethel Was the wedding a very
brilliant ones? Gladj-s Oh, very.
They had to employ four detectives to
watch the wedding presents.
Judge If I let j'ou off this time,
will you promise not to come brcc
here again? Prisoner Yes, sir. The
fact is, I didn't come voluntarily this
time.
Mrs. Slimdiet Why do you bring
the dog into the house? Cook Please,
mum, the boarders always inquire
after him w'en thero is sausage fer
breakfast
"Aw, Bunkins is socially ostra
cised." "Yes." "Completely an out
cast" "Completely. His social status
is so low that he couldn't even lend
money to a titled foreigner."
"Fitzgoober's wife leads him a ter
rible life; she's constantly quarreling
with him." "Indeed; why I didn't
think she ever lost her temper." "She
don't; it is always with her."
"You spoke to them in French, I
noticed. Why was that?" "I wanted
to discover if he was an American."
"And he was?" "Of course, or he'd
never have understood my French."
"Gotrox has sent that woodeu
headed son of his on an ocean voyage.
I wonder what for?" "I understand
someb )dy told him if there was anj--thing
in the boy the sea would bring
it out."
CAUGHT BY AN OCTOPUS.
A WOMAN'S ADVENTURE ON A
PACIFIC ISLAND.
The Ileautirul Shell in the Deep Tool
Was Not a Shell, lint a Devil Fish
That Wound Its Horrible Arms About
Her With Death-Like irlp.
There is one woman in San
Francisco who read the account of
the capture of a giant octopus at
Monterey the other day with a
shudder at the recollection of an en
counter which she had long ago with
one. Some fifteen years ago she
was living with her husband on a
little coral island just below the
equator. The only inhabitants were
the two white people mentioned and
fifty or sixty Hawaiians to work the
guano fields.
The superintendent
and little child wiJi
news from the outer
reach them but once in
hal his wife
him. and as
world could
three months
it was rather dull for the woman.
As there was so little amusement to
be found, she made the most of the
few sources that she had. Chief
among these was tho gathering of
shells, of which many and tine va
rieties were to bo
at low tide.
One day mother
out almost the
fairlv well laden
found on the ree
and son had
whole tide,
with spoils
bo en
and
were
working back home, when, as she
stepped across one of the smaller
pools, the woman saw at the bottom
what appeared to be a magnificent
leopard cowry, the larirest she had
yet seen.
The water was pretty deep in the
pool, being a'.ruost up to her waist
as sho stepped down into it. but she
was so near home that she did not
care, though she got wet through.
Stooping to pick up the shell, she
found that the water was even deeper
than she had supposed, for as her
fingers reached to the bottom of the
pool her face was almost wet by the
waves which came rippling in with
the rising tide. But the moment re
quired to pick up a shell would not
injure her, even though sho had to
put her face into tho water, so she
stooped lower, with closed eves and
grasped at the shell below.
Her finger closed on the richly
spotted object, but instead of the
hard, smooth surface she expected
to seize, her fingers sunk deep into
some soft slimy substance and be
fore she could drop it and rise from
her stooping position a sudden splash
and flurry dashed the water into
foam, and two snakelike ob;ects
arose from the depths and twined
themselves around her arm. bare to
the shoulder, with numbing force.
The water, but a moment before
clear as a crystal, was in an instant
clouded with ink and another snake
like form rose and twined around
her arm. increasing the forco and
pressure until she suffered agony
from the hold upon her arm, as well
as from the fright caused by the
sudden attack of the unseen foe.
Her face was scarcely three inches
above the surface of the pool, and.
to her horror.she found the strength
of the creature was sufficient to keep
her from risin? any higher, and she
knew that a few moments more of
the pain would weaken her so that
she must be drawn down into the
pool instead of being able to escape
from tho horrible creature which
held her in its grasp.
la the first shock a shriek of fear
had startle 1 the boy, who was sonii
distance from her. and he came run
ning back to see what hai caused
the cry. Jle was only 3 years old, so
he coula be of no assistance; indeed,
tho mother feared the child also
might bo grasped and dragged into
the pool. She called to him to run
to the house, some little distance
away, around a point of land which
hid it from sight and cali for help.
'I 'ho tide was rising rapidly. Wave
after wave cani3 rippling and swish
ing against her form, each one
breaking a little higher dashing a
little more of its spray in her bended
face. Death seemed very near, but
her only fear was of the horrible
beak which she knew would be
buried in her quivering flesh a? soon
as sho should lose her strength and
fall into the pool to where the devil
fish couli grasp her with all its
arms.
She could not raise her head to see if
help wi coining, but she strained
her ears, hoping to hear footsteps or
voices. Not a soand met her stra nod
hearing. The water roso higher and
hisjher. Each wave now broke in
her face almost over her head.
A wave bigger and . higher than
usual came rollioer in and broke over
her head, leaving her strangled and
breathless. Hope wa gone. Sho
must die.
Put as she gave a last strangled
cry a suaaen rusn 01 ieei, a uasu
through the water, and her arm was
grasped by strong hands, and she was
raised above tho surface a little.
Other hands reached down beside her
and grasped the unseen form of the
monster, and with a mighty pull
from the two strong pair of arras it
was torn from it anchoring hold
upon the rocks and thrown up into
the open air.
The choking, strangling woman
was carried above the tide mark.
The octopus still attached to her by
its slim arms. As the attempt to
pull it away caused her excruciating
pain, the arms were one by one cut
off, and even the horny disks still
clung with considerable force to the
bruised and crushed arm. The
creature had user! three of its eight
arms to crush its prey, and held it
self firmly anchored to tho rock at
the bottom of the pjol with the
others. It took all tho strength of
two heavy men to tear the hold of
those five arms from the rock.
When the creature was dead and
spread out on the sand it measured
only seven feet from the body to the
end of the longest ray. The body
was about the size and shape of a
big wash bowl, turned bottom up.
The hooked, horny beak, shaped
almost like that of a parrot, but
shortnr in nrooortion to its width.
-,1 a nioori hfltween two wicked little
eves not larger than one's thumb
naiL
iln Company With Kojjues.
'P-aints have frequently
boon
ith regard to the unreliabil
ity of tho Faris guides, who
,-a Uvin
showing strangers
1
S bv
the sights of tho city, more partic
ularly tho nocturnal ones in tha
haunts of its less reputable quar
ters. It is said that some of these
guides are in league with rogues and
reprobates, who make it a point to
fleece the too-confiding sight-seers
and share the profits with the guides.
A petition has recently been pre
sented to the municipal council ask
ing that body to appoint a special
set of guides, responsible to the authorities.
CHASING THE
WALRUS.
m Hunt I'p
Arnold Pike's
Btory of
Iu
Hlrd Bay.
Arnold Pike tells in the Chicago
Times of a walrus hunt in Bird bay.
to the north of Spitzbergen. The
bay was full of fast ice, but eastward
the sea was fairly open ana the hunt
er was rowing slowly back to the
sloop, when the harpooner suddenly
laid aside his glass and headed the
boat for a black mass which the
mirage magnified into tho size of a
small house, but which was really a
walrus.
The walrus raises his head, and
we are motionless," says Mr. Pike.
"It is intensely still, and the scrap
ing of a piece ol ice along the boat,
seems like the roar of a railway
train passing overhead on some
bridge. Down goes the head and
wo glide forward again. The walrus
is uneasy; again and again he raises
his head and looks around with a
quick motion, but we have the sun
right at our back, and he never
notices us. At last wo are within a
few feet, and with a shout of 'Vu-k
op, gambling." (Wake up. old boy!),
which breaks the stillness like a
shot, the harpooner is on his feet,
his weapon clasped in both hands
above his head. As the walrus plunges
into the sea the iron is buried in his
side, and with a quick twist, to pre
vent the head slippinsr out of the
same slit that has been cut in the
thick hide, tho handle is withdrawn
and thrown into the boat. No. i
who, with a turn round the forward
thwart, ha been paying out tho
line, now checks it, as stroke and
the "hammelmand," facing forward,
hang back on their oars to check the
rush. Bumping and scratching the
ice we are towed along for about
five minutes and then stop as the
walrus comes to the surface to
breathe. In the old days the lance
would finish the business, bat now it
is the rifle. He is facing the boat.
I sight for one ot his eyes and let
him have both barrels, without much
effect apparently, for away we rush
for two or three minutes more.
when he is up again, still facing the
boat. Ho seems to care no more for
the solid express bullets than if they
.vere peas, but he is slow this time.
and. as he turns to dive, exposes the
fatal spot at the ba?k of his head
and dies. "
DOGS HAVE THEIR LANGUAGE.
The Collie Came for Help and the New
foundland Itenpouled.
When engaged in locating a rail
way in New Brunswick James Cam
den, a civil engineer, was compelled
one night by a very severe snow
storm to take refuge in a small farm
house, says Forest and Stream. Tho
farmer owned two dojs one an old
Newfoundland and the other a collie.
In due time the farmer and his fam
ily went to bed, the Newfoundland
stretched himself out by the chimney
corner and Mr. Camden and the man
with him rolled themselves in their
blankets on the floor in front of tho
fire. The door of the house was
closed by a wooden latch and fast
ened by a bar placed across it
Mr. Camden and his man
were just tailing asleep when
they heard the latch of the
door raised. They did not get up
immediately, and in a short time the
latch was tried again. They waited
a few minutes and then Mr. Camden
rose, unfastened the door and looked
out. Seeing nothing, ho returned
to his blankets, but did not replace
the bar across the door. Two or
three minutes later the latch was
tried a third time. This time the
door opened and the coilio walked
in. Ho pushed the door back,
walked straight to the old New
foundland and appeared to make
some kind f a whispered communica
tion to him. Mr. Camden lay still
and watched. Ihe old dog roia and
followed tho other out of the house.
Both presently returned, driving be
foro them a valuaolo ram bolon-infr
to the farmer, which had become
separated from the rest of the flock.
and was in danger of perishing in
tho storm. Now, how did the collie
mpart to the other dog a knowledge
of the situation unless through some
supersease unknown to us?
Irish Arts and Crafts.
An Irish arts and crafts society
has just been formed in Dublin for
the purpose of stimulating the in
dustries of Ireland and attempting
t; raise the craftsmen to a higher ar-
istic leveL The society is endeavor-
ng to organize an exhibition of Irish
arts and crafts, to be held in Dublin
in the autumn of 18iJ5.
HISTORICAL LIES.
There was probably no suc i man as
Romulus. The first historian who
mentions hitn lived at a distance of
time so great as to throw extrenu dis
credit on the story as told by hiiu.
Alexander the Great did not weep
for other worlds to conquer. There
is reason to suspect that his army met
with a serious reverse in India, a fact
that induced him to retrace his steps.
The crew of Le Vengeur.the famous
French ship sunk by an English man-of-war,
did not cry "Vive la Uepub
lique!" They bawled for help, and
the English boats were sent to their
assistance.
Worshipers are not crushed by
hundreds under the wheels ofJug-r-rnaut
The car has not been taken
out of the temple for many years, and
such deaths as formerly occurred were
exceptional or accidental.
The immense burning glasses with
which Archimedes burned the ships
of the besiegers of Syracuse at ten
miles distance were never manu
factured, and it is now known that
they could not have existed.
Pitt did not use the expression,
"The atrocious crime of being a young
mn." The words were used by Dr.
Johnson, who was not present, but
xvTOte a report of the speech from oe
attract given h'm by a hearer.
V
AVI
"to
taia
ft
i r '
J