AROUND THE CAMPFIEE.
.LIFE IN THE BAND OF
24-TH MICHIGAN.
TH'
'.Cheering Cp the Weary Marchers With
a I.lTely Tone Heroism of the Ladles
or (iettrsuurg Ccneral Grant and the
Toll-Gate Keeper.
CuHter's Choice.
Environed in tho western wllJ
Cur Custer stood at bajr.
M:d savage thousand frenzy-mid,
Willi !uyt for blood in sway.
Eaer to leap as lion leap
Upon their desert tame
'To end the carnival of blood
With carbine volieys. sabers keca
"To rend the demon horde
And rescue fr m impending deata
Their brothers of the sworl
Around him on tho sory field.
'Slaughtered in phastly line,
Calho'.:n and Keorfh. all their brave.
In death's embrace recline.
Around him close a chosen few
Kemainfd to m?et the blast,
ur.-inj aid fathering for th3 svrep
Kaf? dooir.e 1 to te the last.
All slain but the-se within
lh:t cru-'l ria enthralled.
IJcntcen at lar. and Kcuo tied.
By panic fear appalled.
U-au Sabre ur in onother war
Py Christian melhoJ ruled.
Preax C hevalier, but all unused
To t ictics sava?; schooled
A check for some brief momeati h3'.d
Detrucf.on's fin.il wave.
And Ups.iroki's friendly craft
His Bi r Chief sou.-bt to save:
Lire, with the pleasures of the world.
But with, dishonored name:
IT" waved temptation from his p .th
And turned his ba-k on shams
One moment, but a moment beat
In thought that mirtial head.
An1 then the clorious choice was nude
IJejth with the faithful dsad.
On r'ishod ihs howlin - demon lidi:
Jove's tire was in his eye:
l'r::e as t h 3 rapier in his hand.
He faced the foe to ilia
l ath belter far th in all your years.
oji. fortunr.ts IK-nteen!
Th u iT.;va kni-.'ht, that wouUIst nt aiJ.
1h.iu.-l; h?!l bl i7."d ye 1 -ft ween.
Thi- b:orii-T un.l his brothers th-.-re.
i:no:je.l. in- ives; of tho bravj.
With "r.'.y oni" de;.:sie hope.
Th :t ye. lk'ntsou. would save
Oil.
in
"i:e so aood an 1 true!
Tl!'?.- li '1 -.v;thin the thrall.
Fiir'itln ; :n o:il.v soldiers n.'h:
V!:cn leal'i is sure for all.
Lo.-t M ;rat of the cavalry!
llrtt r a thousand old
T.: t.::: an i -lory Custer wan.
Th in tara shed life and toi l;
Annihilation in life's prime.
Without a spat to mr
The honor of a soldier rani
As Ili-nrv of Xavarre
Not in the ancient Paladins
Kind ye i;r.ii.'hthoDd so truo
As his who uiLide ths choice of di
eath
Y;t!i all his beys in Hue
A. W Sawyer. T.I IX
The Up-arc, '.-.a. role survivor of Custer's inv-n-.t'JiAte
command, wont to the Re leral ami
b.'--.-e1 hi:n to let him tUp-iurok.i" show a way
ti esivipe the two oak. General C'uist ?r
dropped his head oa his breast in thought for
a mouier.t. in a v. ay he hai of doinjr. There
was a lr.li in tho li-'ht after a char.'e th2 en.-ir-cliu,
Indians if itr.crin for a fro-h attack. In
thn nio'i.eat Custer looked at Curley. wave-1
h:m awav. and ro.le back to tao little ijroup of
men. to die vrith th?m-
"Cod Bless the Band."
Dnrir.tr the battle of Chancellors
ville we were playing one evening
near a fine old Virginia residence,
writes a member of the 24th Michigan
band, in the National Tribune. The
ladies came out to listen, and for their
benefit we played "The Bonnie IUue
Flnsr" and "Dixie." They brought
lights to the door and waved their
handkerchiefs. We changed from
"Dixie" to "Yankee Doodle." Imme
diately the lights went out and the
doors were shut with a slam.
At Frederick City, Md., some of our
Ti 1" asked us to go with
them"anTlrenade a family of fine
Jooking ladie. They came out and
:respond-d by .singing "Maryland, my
Maryland." They sang it with such
heartfelt pathos that we almost pitied
-Maryland.
Frederick City seemed to ma to
have one long narrow street; and, as
-we marched out through the town,
-our band played tho entire length of
tlie street. The tune we played was
"Jems of "Niggerdom," a medley of
darky tunes.
The colonel often called on the baud
to play a tune to cheer the boys on a
hard march: forgetting the band
might be tired as well as the rest.
We wished to eva le carrying our
knapsacks; so we rolled np our blan
kets, made a high roll on top. and. as
our horns were over our shoulder, it
made it impossible to play on the
march. The next time the colonel
said "Music,"' we showed him how im
possible it was. He took in the situ
ation at a glance, and turning to the
quartermaster said:
"See that this band have their knap-
.sacks packed in one of the wagons
after this; the boys must have music!"
- After that we had no excusa, but
ihad to "come down with the music."
We had our good and bad days. Fun
-.and hunger was the make-up of days
-and nights, weeks and months.
Jlert Sons was the life and clown of
Idie band and camp. One day while
lie was passing through camp some
one called out:
"Say Bert, what's the matter with
.your pants?" (He had boiled them to
kill ants or some other kind of in
ects, and they had shrunk half way
to his knees.)
Bert stopped, looked down, and
said: "Damfino. I've cut them off
twice, and they're too short yet!"
One cold, frosty night I heard a
tracket in the tent next to mine. I
.heard Wilcox say:
"There, I've flanked you this time!"
"What have you done," said I.
"I've flanked those lice."
"Well, how?"
"I've pulled off my pants and
thrown them out doors."
Well, that might be called cruelty
Xn animals; but sometimes patience
ceases to be a virtue, and a soldier be
. conies hard-hearted.
As the old First corps was the first
:at the battle of Gettysburg, except
the cavalrj-, Captain Wood came
crushing back and gave our colonel the
order to get ready for a fight. The
colonel then turned to us and said:
"Boys, fll out, and give us 'Yankee
IDoodle."
Our regiment "was into the racket
Ibefore the tune was finished. The
!liead doctor came up and said:
"The stretcher corps is six miles in
the rear, and you will have to go in
and help carry the wounded."
Now things began to look "dusty"
for the band; but we went to work,
thinking, as the boys often said on the
.march: "Left, left; I had a good honae
.when I left."
A. I- Congdon, my churn, and I
made a stretcher of fence boards and
-went into the 'ray. The first man we
came to was a big man shot througn
both leg's, lie must have been full
weight by the way he bore down. As
we came into town we were met by
women and children, with tea, coffee,
bread and butter, arid all the good
things needful for a hungry soldier.
The wounded man took a piece of
pie in each hand, saj-ing: "Boys, it
looks good but I can't eat it."
I never saw anything1 in the news
papers about the heroism of the ladies
of Gettysburg. I saw girls, not over
12 years of age, their clothing covered
with blood from helping the wounded,
not minding shot or shell. Thosa la
dies were genuine heroines. God
bless them! How they did work. I
saw one nice, motherly-looking old
lady whos; house was in the midst of
the racket; shells, bursting in ev.-ry
direction, wounded men lying thick
around. She seemed to forget all
about danger in caring for the wound
ed. A shell burst just over her head.
I looked, expecting Iter to dodge, but
she did not even tTineh: she seemed
only to think of duty. I thought that
true heroism in the fullest sense of
the term. I remember there was a
field of two or three acres of wheat
just back of the house, surrounded by
a picket fence.
One thing that causes iu3 to re
member the wheatdeld mors dis
tinctly, I suppose, is on account of a
comical incident which occurred there.
One of our musicians (a detail from
the ranks), whose former record had
been good in a fijht, broke for the
rear, things having become too hot
for him. lie went over the f ence at
a jump. I could jnst see his head
bobbing tip arid down as he made
time through the wheat.
After the battle I inquired of him
what he was doing in the wheatfield.
lie said:
"DM you see me? Was I making
good time?
I told him he ran like a quarter
liorse. and asked where he fetched up.
lie said he had or.lv just cleared the
fence on the other side when a bat
tery otlieer sang out:
' -Halt, there! Where are you go-
T answered: 'You might ho able
to tell that bv the direction I am run
ning.'
"Then I have a jyb for you,' sail
the otlieer.
" 'Take this saber and stand guard
over a dismounted cannon.'
"He was soon called away on some
duty, when I just rammed that old
saber in t!e ground and continued my
tramp back into town to eat pie and
cake with the ladies."
Made .ra:it 1'ay Toll.
A new story of General Grant was
told the Pittsburg Dispatch the other
day by a resident of Washington
county, Ia.: "I'll never forget how
old Bije Oliver, who kept the toll-gate
at Washington, on the old Wheeling
:e, held up General Grant for toll."
lie said. li!je was annoyed a great
deal by the college boys who drove
over the pike.
"They worked on his credulity.
promising to pay toll on their way
back. Many a nickel had been lost to
the old toll keeper, for he was a
kind-hearted fellow, and often in the
face of better judgment remitted the
toll until they returned. But the
boys.hke that letter, never came; they
took another route home, thus elud
ing old Bije. Upon one of Grant's
visits to Washington, during his ad
ministration, a young Mr. Smith, who
was then in college, took him out one
day for a drive.
"As they came near the tollgate on
the Wheeling pike old Bije caught
sight of them. He went out of his
house, took hold of the ropj and
pulled the pole down, obstructing the
road. Smith greeted Bije in a
familiar way and said: "Look here,
Bije, we want to go on. Yon see I've
General Grant with me here.'
"Bije looked up with a sardonic
smile. lie h:id just begun to see
through the trick., of the college boys,
and was not going to allow himself
to be gulled siny longer.
"So he replied: -I don't give a darn
if you have General Grant with you;
you'll have to pay toll or you can't get
along here.' Then he aided, in a
most sarcastic way, with a leer: 'Gen.
Grant! You must take me for a fool.'
" 'Really,' persisted young Smith,
'this is Gen. Grant.'
"But Bije got angry at his apparent
impudence and said angrily. 'Grant
or no Grant, j-ou pay toll. See
ing that he was adamant, (Jen.
Grant put his hand down into his
pocket, and. after tossing him a coin,
drove on, laughing at the incident.
He often related the incident after
ward, and it seemed to amuse him
greatly."
The Iron Dolce.
Once dnring the Iron Duke's cam
paign in the Pyrenees, it happened
that General Picton's dispositions for
receiving the assault of Marshal Soult
displeased him. The danger threat
ened from in front, and the difficulty
lay in delaying the attack until he
could effect the change he wished.
He was. as usual, equal to the occa
sion. - Waving his hat in the air, he
galloped to the front of a regiment as
if he meant to order a charge. The
whole of Picton's line cheered tre
mendously, and as the roar died away
Wellington was heard to remark, half
to himself: "Soult is a cautious com
mander, and will not attack in force
without ascertaining the meaning' of
these cheers. That will leave time
for the sixth division to come up, and
we shall beat hiin." This is exactly
what happened, and Soult sustained
a bloody repulse where he might have
won an easy victory. Argonaut.
Sliootlntj Featal In Scotland.
The largest shooting rental of an
county in Scotland is Iverness-shire,
with ovep .t!0,OJO. Perthshire follows
with about 75,000, then Ross-shire
with nearly 03,000, Argyllshire with
about- 35,000, and Aberdeenshire
with over 30,000.
It a In In the South Atlantic.
Sir J. C. Ross is authority for the
statement that in the South Atlantic
rain frequently falls in torrents from
the clear sky, and he mentions one
occasion wfien it rained for over an
hour whn the atmosphere was per
fectly ofear.
A senile plant of wheat will often
VT k i'5 s-"eds in one season: a
Ai " v33!0y'ield 4,000; a )oppy
:fif fl injplant 300,000, anleen
CENSURE AND PRAISE.
A Kiiidersrartntir Tells When and
How
1 hey Should ho Csed.
"When to Censure and When to
Praise" was the subject of tho lec
ture given by Miss Harrison, of the
Chicago Kindergarten college at the
high school lately, says the St Paul
Pioneer Press. The lecture was pre
ceded by the answering of several
written questions which had been
handed in to Miss Harrison. Tho
first. "What Is the Value of the
Study of Infant Pschycology ?" Miss
Harrison replied to this that she
did not 'perceive any distinction be
tween infant pschycology, and gen
eral pschicology, excepting that
the former was a sta.ro of the
latter. The value of such study is
in enabling the person in charge of
a child to avoid overcrowding and
ovcrstimulating its inind. Another
query was as to tho val.to of fairy
tales in o.lucation of children. Miss
Harrison believes that thero are
fairy tales and fairy talcs, but that
the "value of tho best of theso is
great in developing the imagination
and counteracting tho natural ten
dencies of tho at'e. The remaining
questions were similar to these.
Proceeding to tho subject of til
morning Miss Harrison said that
praise and censure embody much of
tho clouds and sunshine of lifo, and
that injustice is one of tho crudest
of mistakes. The first thing to in
qui.e is, "why do we praise ov con
demn? ' Is it not because the child
does or does not live up to our own
ideals?" Then it should be asked
How can we leal others to accept
our ideais?" How is the command
Thou shalt." to ho transformed
into "I must?'' Here begins tho
development into the dependent o."
the independent man or woman.
The lirst thing to do is to ho tho
thing you would have your child be.
Tho child is quick t'o tee it when
tho parent or teacher falls short.
Conscience has been defined as the
power of "seeing what you are in
the light of what you ought to be."
Praie and tonsure are the two
groat instruments by which con
science is to be stimulated.
To what instinct should praise and
censure appeal? The love of recog
nition and approbation is inborn in
every teing. The natural elTort is
to try to please and live in harmony
with those about us. Rightly de
veloped this instinct becomes that
proper regard for public opinion by
which all but the lowest or tho
highest natures are affected. Thero
are wrong ways of praising, such as
appealing to vanity and laughing at
clover naughtiness. Praiso which
emphasizes the external and tempo
rary alone is always wrong. Praise
which is partly insincere. such as
mothers sometimes give their chil
dren before guests, is always wrong.
The right kind of praise is given
quietly, but seriously, for any actual
conquest that the mother knows tho
child to have achieved. One mother,
knowing that her little daughter had
won a victory over a bad temper,
pinned a little note to the child's pil
low at night, telling of the happi
ness it had given her. Another,
whose son had taken the first steps
towards mastering a grave fault,
gave him a picture of Michael An
gelo's "David" to hang in his bed
room; telling him it was a milestone
in his life. It is best to particular
ize in the requirement that is to be
made of a child. Do not say "Bo a
good boy this morning," but mention
some special thing to bo remembered,
and follow it up. Inquire whether
or not thai demand has been met,
and praise or censure accordingly.
WAS MAKING PROCRESS.
But the Old I.ady Nearly Spoiled All
AVlth Her Impatient One t ion.
The young fellow was extremely dif
fident and very much in love with the
girl. He had made half a dozen at
tempts to ofTer her his heart and
hand, but on each occasion he had
fallen short. To add to the serious
ness of the situation, the girl was
ready to accept him as soon as
proposal was in definite shape.
F.ven the mother was willing,
latterly she had grown tired of
the
but
tho
diliatory tactics and Fabian policy of
the suitor, and had kicked on his
coming so often and staying so late.
One night, after three hours of
struggle on his part, and much deli
cate encouragement on the part of
the girl, he had seized her hand con
vulsively, dropped on his knees im
petuously, and was about one-fifth
through an impassioned appeal to her
to be his'n. when the mother's voice
sounded clear on the night from the
head of the stairs. Tho youth
stopned short, but held on.
Mary, came the maternal voice,
querulously, "i3 that young man
there yet?"
Not yet, mother." replied Mary,
smiling sweetly down on the face of
her Romeo, "but he's getting there."
And two weeks later the cards
were out.
U TVa Modest.
Yes, he might come and sit at th&
kitchen table and partake of such as
she had to offer.
"But," she added, "you must wash
that dirt off your face first"
The tramp looked puzzled.
Then." he observed, incredulous
ly, "you do not want the earth."
The fiat-Iron knocked threo pickets
off the front yard fence, but was
otherwise innocuous. Detroit Tri
bune. AUo.v iir the Fart t !Je Inferred.
Corn You want rao to describe
my frienu. Miss Ploiners? She's a
charmingly vivacious and witty girl;
an excellent, conversationalist, ac
complished, bright and intellectual."
Tom. disappointed Oh, pshaw!
Why didn't you tell me she was ugly
I in the first place? Chicago Record.
Itound to Agree.
Doctor You have a decidedly
dyspeptic look. I don't believe there
is anything that agrees with you.
Mrs. Strongmynd Oh, yes, there is.
Doctor What?
Mrs. Strongmynd Why, Strong
mynd. to be sure. Ho daren't do
otherwise. Buffalo Courier.
Where Experience Doe Not Teach.
Calloe Women hive quite queer
ways, don't you think, Uncle Si?
i Uncle Si I kain't say thet I know
much about women. I only been
married four times. Indianapolis
Journal.
SOME TRAPS FOR BUGS.
PATENTS
GENIUS
SHOW WHAT A
THE YANKEE IS.
Slost Absurd Inventions, bo Von Would
Say, and Yet They Are Fseful IS at
Imps Plentiful as Hats and Some of
Them Are Absolute Freaks.
American invention has given birth
to no end of freaks, which have been
embalmed at the patent office in j
order that they may not perisn.
Some of the queerest of them are
devices for entrapping beasts, bugs,
fishes and even human beings.
What, for example, could be fun
nier than tho notion of using imita
tion flowers with poisoned honey to
attract noxious insects. Tho arti
ficial blossoms, each containing a
small quantity of sugar liquid prop
erly prepared, are to be fastened 10
twigs. Moths of destructive species
sip the deadly nectar and die. A
more elaborate devio of a similar
description is intended for tho pro
tection of apple trees. It is a tin
can covered as to its upper half with
luminous paint. On tho outside of
the lower half apple blossoms are
represented with tho same sort of
paint. Inside of tho receptacle is a
small quantity of cider. The can is
to be hung on a branch of an applo
tree at night. Insects attracted bv
the pictured flowers, light upon the
- i
can. Tho smell of the cider induces
them to enter through holes pro
vided for that purpose: they then
drop down into tho cider and
are drotvned. Yet it is not
always easy to distinguish be
tween a crank idea and a
useful discovery. The poisoned
counterfeits of llower.-s above de
scribed are said to work very well.
Many years ago a man got a patent
for a method of killing bugs on
trees by enclosing the whole tree in
a sort of balloon of canvas, into
which an asphyxiating gas was to be
poured for too purpose of suffocat
ing the insects. Kverybodj- thought
he was a lunatic. llut, now that his
patent has run out. the merits of th
plan have suddenly obtained appro- i
ciation. and its adoption is alleged
to have saved tho orange-growing
industry in California. Several
kinds of luminous baits for fish have
been patented. One of these is a
minnow of hollow glass coated on
the inside partly with a solution of
gold or silver, and partly with
luminous paint. The result is a very
brilliant object in the water, calcu
lated to attract any predacious crea
ture with fins. Another interesting
contrivanco is for making frog bait
more seductive. The jerking of the
line equipped with this device causes I
the frog's legs to move as if he were
swimming.
Contrivances- for catching insects
are more numerous than any others,
according to the Philadelphia Times.
One of them is a furnace for slaugh
tering potato bugs. To begin with,
a deep and wide furrow is to bo
plowed all around an infested field.
Through this trench a smooth log is
dragged to make tho surface hard
and smooth. The bugs in migrating
to other grounds are unable to scale
the trench and the furnace, which is
a cylinder of iron filled with fuel, is
drawn along the furrow and destroys
them. Other odd devices are car
tridges intended to bo inserted in tho
mouths of ant holes and to bo fired,
thus communicating stilling vapors
to the subteranean chambers: also
many kinds of lamps for attracting
and burning up the moths of various
worms in cotton fields. Thero is a
toy pistol for insects, which sucks
them in when tho trigger is pulled.
An ingenious Westerner has in
vented a trap for catching the horn
fly, which is such an enemy to cattie
in some parts of the country. It
consists most importantly of a great
frame to which brush is attached in
such a manner that when the beasts
walk through, eager as they always
are to scratch themselves, the Hies
will be scraped from their bodies by
the branches. Finally, tho frame is
closed up by means of doors and tho
captured insects uro destroyed.
Nearly every one has heard of the
"old tapeworm trap, which the j
patient swallows, lied bug traps are of
several varieties, all of them being
intended to afford attractive nuiing
places for tho blood suckers and to be
burned or scalded out afterwards.
Much ingenuity has been expended
in rat-traps. Some of them are so
elaborate that no full-witted rodent
would go near them. One requires
Mr. Hat to come in through a door,
which drops behind him and makes
him a prisoner. Seeing a bright
light above he ascends a flight cf
little steps and trots across a small
plank that is so nicely adjusted as to
balance that his weight causes it
to tip and throw him into a tank of
water. Another contrivance consists
of a double chamber. One chamber
ha9 a glass end, through which Mr.
Mat sees two or three imitation rat9
having a nice time with a bit of
cheese. Wishing to join them ne
runs around the box, gets into the
other chamber and jjets caught
There are a number of devices
which employ mirrors for the pur
pose of luring the rat to his fate, j
He mounts on top or a oarrei anu
sees a tootnsome piece ui i-ueuso.
other rodent-in reality his own re-
flection in a niece of looking glass-
. -
coming for the cnease irora ma uj-
posite direction. He makes a dash
to "vt thero first, and a pivoieu
board drops him into the cask, which
is half-full of water. Kats will swim
for a long time, so one humanitarian
has patented a water trap with little
shelves arounl the edge and just
above the surface. On tho shelves
are placed small lead weights with
fish-hooks hanging from them. The
captured rat in trying to escape
grasps one of the hooks, gets it fast
ened in his mouth, dislodges the
piece of lead and is carried to the
bottom by the latter.
SparroVr traps aro of many differ
ent kinds. Most of them Invite tho
birds to walk in through a door
which drops behind them, making
them prisoners. When next seen,
in the restaurants, they are reed
birds on toast-
i
Caugl
htlt
Lffraih Sides.
James Payn
trated London
i 7 . , j Tl i
in me nius
of a whist-
nlnvop hmnrr tn1
by an opponent
l J' " S
s tell by his face
mat ne count aiv:.
when he had a good hand. This he
resented exceedingly, and applied to
his partner for a refutation of it; but
he was only still more irritated by
his form of corroboration, "that ho
had never noticed any expression in
his countenance whatever."
HANDY WITH THEIR FEET.
Hindoos Able to Utilize Their Nether Ex
tremities to Great Advantage.
In the native quarters of the
townsof India the strange spectacle
may be seen of a butcher seizing a
piece of meat in his hands and cut
ting it in two with a stroke of his
knife held between the first and
second toes of his foot 1 he shoemaker
uses no last, says Pearson's Weekly,
but turns tho unfinished shoo with
his feet, whilo his hands are busy in
shaping it So tho carpenter holds
with his great toe tho board he is
cutting and tho woodturner handles
his tools as well with his toes as
with his fingers. This use of tho
feet to assist tho hands in their
labor is not, however, tho mere
result of practice, but is
principally due to the fact that the
Hindoo foot is 'quite different from
ours in its anatomical conformation.
Tho ankle of tho Hindoo and tho
articulation of the back of tho foot,
permit considerable lateral motion.
Then tho toes possess a surprising
mobility. The great toe can be
moved freely in all directions and
tho first and second toes are sep
arated by a wide space, sometimes
as much as five-eighths of an inch
across at the base of the toes and
two inches at their extremities. The
articulation of tho hip is also pe
culiar an this renders it easier to
use the toes in handling tho objects
by enabling tho Hindoo to
sit in a squatting posture
much more comfortably than we
can do. A similar formation of the
feet and toes is found among the
Annamesc, but it is not, as might be
supposed, a common thing among
barbarous und savage tribes. One
nuturallv thinks of the resemblance
to a monkey which a human being
using both feet and hands in tho
manner described above must pre-
sent and yet M. Pegnault is careful
to point out tho fact that the Hindoo
foot is not at all like the foot of an
aoe or monkey. The great toe is not
opposed to tho other toes like a
thumb, as occurs with the monkey,
and aevordingly the pedal dexterity
of the Hindoos is not to be taken as
indication of Simian descent.
I'routl of Their AsTf.
The author of a sketch of the late
Lord Drayton was accompanying the
carl, then H years of age, down the
stairs of a London club to see him
safely into his cab. On descending
the stairs, they were met by a cheery
old gentleman, small of stature. Mr.
John Levien. who was slowly as
cending, hat in hand, mopping the
dew oil his bald head with his
pocket-handkerchief- The writer,
knowing that . both his fricnls
strangers to each other were proud
of their ages, said to them as they
met on the stairs: "Let me intro
duce a gentleman of S to a gentle
man of Si'." Eighty-two. sir'."
echoed the earl, slightly lifting his
hat to Mr. Levien; "I'll run you
round the square for a fiver." Some
da3rs afterward Mr. Levien called on
the writer again, and remarked
slowly and with much solemnity:
I've been thinking a great deal
about that challenge. I wish I had
taken it." Argonaut.
Not Improved 'With Age.
A traveling man dining at u
restaurant ordered a broiled chicken
for his dinner. It was placed heforo
him and he tried in vain to make an
incision with his knife and fork.
Turning to the girl who had waited
on him, he said: "I was here live
years ago and ordered a chicken for
dinner." "Oh. yes," answered tho
girl flippantly, -'I remember. It was
I who waited on you." "How
str-tngo how very strange:" re
marked tho man in a low, awe
stricken tone. "Why is it sti angc?"
iuquired the girl. "It's mere than
strange, it's wonderful such a coin
cidence could hardly happen twice
snmfi irirl. same chicken:" and he
lookotl " reverently
j oerol.0 him, whilo
at the specimen
the girl mado a
hastv retreat Detroit Free Press.
Narrow Ideas.
He My friend writes that it is so
leautiful in the country he feels as
if he were in heaven. She Is his
wife with him? He You have very
narrow ideas about heaven, my dear.
Spare Moments.
TRIVIAL TALKS.
"The editor has a peculiar gait"
"Didn't know he had any at all
thought he climbed the fence."
Ilusiness Man, hurriedly What do
you want to get me to the Grand Cen
tral in five minutes? Cabman,
thoughtfully A new horse.
"There is one thing can be said of
lirown he always attends to his own
business." "Yes, sir;. that's why his
last employer discharged him-"
"Somers tells me he has been look
ing for comfortable quarters every
where." "Jupiter! he never strikes
me for anything less than a five."
"Cvrns she said, reluctantly, "I
don't think I would make a goo:! jv f e
ml -
I r a poor u.u. "
n mirrhtv nnnr wife for a sroou man.
, --- - - -
j Satan Set him aurnt on ine mice ox
i nre in a uum uiou...... uro.
Asmodcus V.hat is his crime, my
lord? Satan When in life he used to
think it funny to rock a boat.
A Liverpool man was so enraptured
with a lady at a fancy ball that he of
fered her a 5 note to unmask. She
accepted the money, saying: "Now
your wife can pay the servant girl's
back wages." It was his mother-in-law.
"I told my wife this morning that
we'd have to economize," said the
man who talks about his personal af
fairs. "I wish I dared tell mine that."
"Why don't you?'' "Because the last
time I tried it she bought me a box of
auction cigars."
Comic Opera Soprano George, have
you a paper there? Comic Opera Tenor
Yes. Comic Opera Soprano Well,
just turn over to the stage gossip,
will von? Comic Opera Tenor What
fnr-o fumifi Onera Senrano And find
out whether we're going to be mar
ried or divorced next time.
HIS FIRST BEAR HUNT.
THE DOCTOR SIGHED FOB GRIZ
ZLIES AND SUCH.
f'o He Iiied lllr.i to the Mountain? and
With Old Hanks for a tiulJe Froceeded
to Work Havoc Anion- the Wild Iteasts
Saw lie lirar and Shot Two.
The doctor had never hot a deer.
He was an enthusiastic sportsman,
and could whip a trout stream or
bring down a bird ou the wing with
any expert in tho co.iutry. Hut ho
sighed for bigger game. In his
youth he was an earnest, hard-working
student; and. in after years, tho
care of a family and the duties of a
large and growing practice required
so much of his timo that his sport
with the rod and gun was confined
to an occasional short trip to near
by points.
So, as ho sat in his library one
evening, fondly ga'.ing through a
hazy cloud of tobacco smoke at a
pair of buck horns over the book-ca-e.
ho challenge! ma to go with
him on a Western trip for deer and
other big game. We agreed to do
so. Two weeks later, on a clear,
crisp morning in November, we step
ped o!T tho train at a little mountain
station, and meeting our guide
promptly by appointment we were
soon jogging up a rugged road be
hind a team of ponies in a buck
board wagon.
Our guide was a well-known hunt
er, and he entertained us with stor
ies of previous shooting trips, and
the time passed pleasantly till wo
reached the camp which was about
noon. Old Hunks, our guide, had a
snug, little, two-roomed log house,
and when we unpacked our traps
and got into our hunting togs we
felt as though- the long anticipated
trip was at la-t a reality.
At supper time, as v,e were drink
ing our cotiec from tin cups by the
blazing light of a big wood fire, the
dogs began to bark, and hearing
footsteps outside o!d Hanks took his
gun from the corner, spoke to the
dogs, and opened the door. As he
did so we heard a voice, and a tall
stranger entered the room. He was
a frontiersman from the boots up.
and taking in tlie situation with a
glance accepted our host's invitation
and was soon perfectly at heme, do
ing full Justice to the edibles before
him-
Old Hanks eyed the stranger crit
ically, and then said:
"Living out this way?"
No.'' replied our guest, "just
came from over the range; left Simp
son's cam;) Monday."
Where's your horse,
didn't walk it, I reckon."
"No. mv horse is un
cap? you
the pass
about threo miles: I left him for beat
meat, and was glad to get o!Tat that."
We were all eager listeners now.
and we soon had thu story. lie had
tied his ho:-se to follow a deer trail
up tho mountain side, and upon his
return found two huge grizzlies de
vouring the animal. As he was
facing tho wind ho saw them before
he was discovere 1, and turning on
his heel left them to their meal in
peace. After giving us the story he
wiped his mouth on his coat sleeve
and coolly lit his pipe.
The doctor was all questions at
once. Could we get a shot at them
in the morning? Is there any dan
ger of them leaving before? What
timo had we better go? At once.J
etc. But he finally agreed to be
guided by the advice of our hunter
and wait till morning. Before day
light we were at breakfast, and just
as the light of the sun was tinging
the eastern sky with a dull crimson,
and while a few flickering stars were
still to be seen overhead, wo silently
tramped along Indian file up the
valley toward the spot where the
horse was killed the afternoon be
fore. After walking for about forty
minutes we separated, dividing out
party into two. thes doctor and I go
ing to the left and the two hunters
taking the high ground to tho right.
The day was still, with not a breath
of air save a slight murmur in the
pine tops. Tho timber was quite
thick and as we cama to a little
"slashing" where the wind had
blown down a tangle of trees in all
directions, I saw the doctor pull up
suddenly, raise his riile to his shoul
der, take deliberate aim and fire
along the line of a fallen pine. The
air was so still that the smoke hung
for an instant, and I saw mv com
panion throw in another shell, and,
stooping slightly to look under the
smoke, exclaim:
tireat Scott, 1 didn't kill him
and he's coming along the log. Griz
zly! look! I must fe"tch him this
time and aiming it seemea to me
unusually long fired. Just as he
did so, I managed to push tne Dusnes
away enough to see the monster as
he walked toward us. about thirty
yards away, and again the cloud of
smoke hid mv view, but the next in
stant I saw the bear coming with his
mouth wide open, and thi9 time he
was getting uncomiortaoiy close.
Here was ray chance, and as I shot I
called to the doctor to look out for
him if I failed to kilL But at last
his bearship took a tumble and I
saw him fall heavily on tne log wun
a bullet right between the eyes. We
waited for signs of life, ana enmoeu
unon the fallen pine, picking our
way carefully towards him. Our cau
tion was unnecessary lor mere no
lay as dead as a door nail. The shoot
ing brought our companions to
the spot, and as we related the
exploit and pointed with pride to
tho dead bear. Old Hanks went
further down the log to examine tho
surroundings, and an exclamation of
surprise mingled with some choice
frontier cuss words, caused us to
hurry to his side and there, on the
other side of the log. about twenty
yards from the dead bear, laid an
other grizzly dead, but still warm,
6hot square between the eyes.
We were puzzled for an instant,
but it was soon clear to all. The
doctor killed his bear at the first
shot, but right behind him was his
mate, and the smoke blinded us so
that we thought we were shooting at
only one. The doctor's second shot
hit tho second bear on the shoulder
and my budet struck him between
tho eyes ad killed him.
rnexf'octor now sits by his open
f:,. Xi -ith bis nine (between nis
lips, t'ikos to close his fi
s and live
savs the
Sj-ysraan's Pcview. rind beside hint
on the floor is a rug that money
could not buv, made of a tanned
grizzly bear's hide.
THE LITTLE TERROR.
How IViby Amused Itself on the Street
Car.
It was a very cunning little child,
just beginning to talk, and its
mother manipulated it so as to show
its sweetness to the test advantage
for the rest of the passengers. The
lady who sat beside tho mother on
the cross scat of the car smiled at it
the woman opposite chirred at it,
the man across the aisle let it play
with his cane. Amid all these at
tentions the little one crowed and
laughed and squirmed around in the
very ecstacy of pleasure.
Kvery now and then, however, the
child t'.irned toward the lady next to
it, and regarded her with lixed
admiration. Finally it put out its
chubby hand an 1 cautiously felt her
nose through her veiL Then every
body looked at tho nose and saw
that it was red. Conscious of this
observation tho woman with the nose
got red etieeks and a red neck. The
nos3 in the meantime lighted up like
a beacon, greatly to the delight of
the baby, who grabbed at it under
the impression, evidently, that the
nose had been colored up for its
especial enjoyment
"Pitty:" cried the child, trying at
the same time to take hold of tho
nose.
The unfeeling man with whose
cane tho baby had been playing,
grinned as he picked up the discard
ed stick, and the mother tried to
choke the baby oil with kisses. Tho
other women smiled sweetly all
but the woman with the red nose.
Sho was mad enough to bita the
child's head olT. But the little inno
cent began to pinch its mother's
nose, and make a mental comparison
between that organ and the nose
shining through tho veil. This was
certainly odious. But the closer the
infant studied th.3 two no-es the
more i-atisKed it appeared to bj that
the red nose was the mo.-t desirable.
So it playfully grabbed for the red
r.ose once more, to the e:o.ial discom
fiture of the owner pf the nose and
the owner of the baby. At that
point the woman with the nose arose
and made for tho door, the baby be
gan to yell with disappointment and
the spectators laughed merrily.
The Sliver Lining.
State Senator Fred Kilburn. of New
York, says that he was riding in the
smoking car on a little one-track
road in the northern part of the
stato two weeks ago, and in the seat
in front of him sat a jewelry drum
mer. He was one of those wide
awake, never-let-any-one-get-the-bet-ter-of-hira
stylo of men. Presently
the train stopped to take on water,
and the conductor neglected to send
back a llag-raan. A limited express,
running at the rate of ten miles an
hour, camo along and bumped the
rear end of the first train. The
d.-ummer was lifted fro;u his seat
and pitched, head first, against the
scat ahead. His silk hat was jammed
clear down over his cars. Ho picked
himself up and settled back, in his
seat. No bones had been broken.
Then he pulled off his hat. drew a
long breath, and. straightening up.
said: "llully gee! Well, they didn't
get by us any way!" Argonaut
Ostriche.
Ostriches have three breeding sea
sons a year, 'ihe male digs a nest
in tho sand, where the female de
posits an egg every other day until
from ten to twenty are laid. Then
tho obedient male bird takes the
main care of the nest, sitting from ;i
p. m. till S a. m. , when the female
sits till afternoon. Each nest is
seven feet wide by three deep. A
singular fact, not hitherto noted, is
that the male, who sit3 at night, is
black, while the female, who sits by
day, is gray, each being aJapted to
its environment by color protection
After the chicks are hatched, tho
male takes care of them, even t
broodinsr over theia at night. Oc-
! casionally ho contrives to steal a
few chicks from another male and
then there is a row.
Timing an Karthouake Shock.
By the device of an Italian seis
mologist an earthquake shock is,
we are informed, made to light an
electric lamp for a quarter of a
second, causing tho face ofa chronom
eter to be photographed and thus
registering the precise time.
An Apt I'rorer!).
Appearances are very deceptive,'
remarked the tenor.
"Yes." replied the prima donna;
especially farewell appearances. "
Washington Star.
MEANT TO AMUSE.
He I am growing a moustache.
She So some one told me.
Mrs. Cumso That Mrs. Snooper
asks everybody if her hat is on
straight. Mrs. Cawker Yes. It
cost $50.
"What did Mangle receive that
medal for that he wears now?" "He
has run over more people than any
man in our bicyle club."
Sobbing Wife Three years ago you
swore eternal love,' and Brutal
Husband How long do you expect
eternal love to last, anyway.
Doctor Have you followed my ad
vice in regard to eating plain fool
and keeping quiet at home? Patient
That's all I've been able to do sin?e
you fent in your bill.-
Miss Sere Mr. Oldbache, why doa't
yon take some nice girl to accompany
"vou on the ocean of lifo-? Mr. Old
bache I would, if I were sure the
ocean would be Pacific.
Old Girl, reading in newspaper an
account of a new invention No more
missing shirt-buttons! Vi'aat will they
invent next? Why, here's another in
ducement for the men not to marry!
Hobbs Doesn't it give you a kind
of humble feeling to meet a girl you
used to be engaged to long ago?
Nobbs Yep. Always makes me won
der whether her taste used to be as
bad as mine was.
"It's a good thing for a man to at
tend " strictly t a his own business,"
remarked Senator Sohnso. "Perhaps
it is," replied the constituent, who
had ber-rjjje-'ping tub on absentees,
"br.t i7f army that some men n-.-ver
see.-n Ij realize that u::til they get
ele'tti l to congress.'
A