1 t - ' I , : I KINQ CORN. KJg Corn Is a Jolly old fellow, ' And rules with a provident hand; His train cornea In autumn ao mellow. Laden down with rich stores for the land Els garments are golden, His dynasty olden. His scepter a magical wand. This king has his thousands of cattle, None better the world ever knew, And he makes the coin JiDgle and rattle, And piles up a billion or two. When to market he goes. At the first winter snows. With the herds that on his farm grew. King Corn feeds all of the nations. The richest and poorest and all; He sends them each year sucn rich rations, When harrest comes on in the fall. That he makes them reloloe. To receive each the choice , Of this king's richest gifts at their oalL When potatoes are short ia the island. The Emerald Isle of the sea. When the drought brings distress to the rye land. And Russia sends out a sad plea. His ships, heavy laaen. O'er the billows do hasten With food for the starring, you see. Ton may talk of King Cotton's dominion, And boast of his empire so great; But here is our bonest opinion. y Which we are not modest to state, That Cotton Is vassal. And lives in a castie, Just within old King Corn's palace gate. E. A. Whltwam, in Farmer's Voice. EPISODE IN COLORADO. Br MARY A. WINSTON". Copyright, ISM, by the Author. T was a chilly evening in early fall We all sat around our rud dy camp fil e and reveled in its warmth. My friend, Amasa Weatherjee, and I were young geolo gists, who were spending' some weeks at a mining- camp in Colorado, in the pursuit of our chosen profession. Dow well I remember that night! The rough miners sat and smoked their abort cutty pipes in stolid, speechless content; their wild unkempt beards and great arms, from which the red flannel shirt sleeves had been rolled back, making them look like a species of grotesque giant in the flickering fire light. Those of us who formed a little group by ourselves, with the superintendent of the mine for our center, laughed and talked gayly to while away the long, tedious, evening hours. Each one con sidered it his duty, from time to time, to add his mite to the general merry naking. and would relate some amus ing or thrilling anecdote. All except one; for my companion, Amasa Weath erlee, at gloomily and silently with his arms folded and his eyes fixed on the fire. Sow, Amasa was usually the gayest of the gay, and there was not a man at Silver Lock camp who could tell a better story than he. He was a handsome fellow, of noble physique and of a healthy, sunny aspect in gen eral. The curly hair, that had grown long in the wilderness and lay loosely on his flannel shirt collar, was golden in hue, and his cheeks dimpled like a girl's when he smiled. We had rallied Amasa several times on his unusual silence, when finally he raised his head and spoke: "Well, friends, I suppose I must son tribute my share to the evening's en tertainment. So I am going to tell you a curious story: "Years ago, when I was a little child, I had a strange dream. I seemed to stand alone on a great, fiat waste desert which stretched away in in finite dreariness and monotony to the banks of a river, shining like silver in the distance. As I stood in the midst of the desert and gazed away toward this river, I saw something, so small that it looked like a mere, tiny 6peck, leap out of the water and begin run ning across the desolate moor in my TO FOLLOW AMASA'S RETREATIKS FORM. -direction. On approaching, tnia rapidly-moving speck took the shape to my eyes of an exclamation point which ever grew larger and larger till it was the size of a man. I seamed rooted to the spot, and, spellbound, watched the curious phas-tom's swift advance. When it reacSied me, it uttered a pe culiar, mocking, blood-curdling Ila! Ha! and thee leaped upon me stud throttled me. I .cannot describe to you the horror of that dream to be murdered by an -exclaciation poiet! It sounds too ab surd. "Gentlemen," continued Amasa, 1 emnly, -"doubtless you are wondering why nnc how I reelect so clearly this Aightuare of my childish years. The reason la simple enough. I never have vjeen permitted to forget it. For since then I hate had thatame dream, with th very sime detail ia every case and the same conclusion again and again, I have grown to manhood. It has haunted my life. Last night I dreamed Ik again and to-day, as I was riding to D J heard with my waking senses ttvat same horrible mocking 'Ha! liar of the dream A mass's voice sank away to a mourn ful whisper. The weight of a terrible apprehension seemed to be pressing Toim down. And yet it was nothing but the shadow of a dream that was loading his bright spirit. Intangible and fantastic as my pM friend's trouble seemed to mo, yet It pained me to see that horror-stricken look in his honest eyes. I turned away from the great camp-fire that I might not see that look, and in doing so I faced the long irregular line of the "barracks" or miners quarters, with the small cabins of the superintendent and his assistants nestling near. There was a light in the superintendent's cabin. Just as Amasa finished speaking a woman's face appeared at the open win dow of this cabin. Her features were silhouetted against the outside black ness of the night for an instant. With a start, I realized that she was gazing at Amasa's dejected figure with the most baneful expression of fiendish and savage revenge. Appearing as she did, at the end of that strange narra tive of his, this woman seemed to me in a flash to be the evil spirit of fate brooding over his destiny. It was Mahala, the superintendent's beautiful young Mexican wife. Once I had seen her offer Amasa a crimson rose whjch she plucked from her black hair, but Amasa, who was in po mind to set evil tongues to wagging, had said, curtly: "Madame, no one but your husband is worthy of such gifts from your fair hand." Mahala dropped her eyes, and when she raised them to follow Amasa's re treating form the amorous look in them had changed to one of bitter, scorching hate. It made me shudder to behold the counterpart of that look on the night of Amasa's story. It was said that Mahala had Indian blood in aer veins, and I believed it. "Mr. Weatherlee, have yon ever heard an Indian war whoop?" It was the superintendent. Col. Altruz, who spoke. lie was a Spanish Mexican, but had served in the frontier warfare of the 6tates. "Xo," said Amasa; "I am a New Englander, born and bred, and know very little about Indians outside of story book tales of them." "Well," resumed the colonel, "the cry of the dream you describe resem bles exactly an Indian war whoop. I am inclined to think there must be Apaches in our neighborhood. I shall send a search party out in the morning and we shall probably frighten the red devils off." The superintendent laid his hand kindly on Amasa's shoulder: "Come, Mr. Weatherlee, cheer up; it's a coincidence, of course. But dreams are queer things, and often find strange fulfillments in real life. X GALLOPED IXTO THE CAMP RIDERLESS. wouldn't dwell upon that one of yours any longer if I were you." We are such stuff as dreams are made of. And our little life is rounded with a sleep." quoted some one lightly, and the group broke up for the night. At daybreak the next morning, the search party went out to discover the whereabouts of the Indians in our vicinity, but the men came back and re ported that they found no trace of the savages. At noon, Amasa, evidently anxious to show that he had overcome his weak ness of the night before, rode out of camp and shouted back that he was going to D for the inaiL The superintendent stood at his cabin door. "Are you armed, Mr. Weatherlee?" he asked as Amasa went by. The latter shook his head: "My re volver is out of order. But I have never had any use for a weapon here in the desert" The superintendent handed over his pistoL "Better take that. Wait a bit." He went into the cabin but presently re appeared. "I can't find my cartridges, and my wife Is out, or she could tell me where she has laid them. But there is a ball or two already there. It won't be any harm to have it along. Amasa thanked him and rode away. That evening his horse galloped into the camp riderless. We found Amasa five miles away in the desert. He lay on his back. He had been shot through the chest and then strangled to death. "The dream! the dream!" whispered the awe-stricken men. But I looked into Mahala's impassive face, so pale for all its swarthy beau ty, and I knew how the dream had found its fulfillment. THE OLD LADY GOT THE SEAT. Bow a Selfish Girl's Attempt to Steal March on a Mis Failed. The seats of the car were filled and a number of passengers were standing up as the driver encouraged his tired horses to push their uneven way along Van Buren street. A well-dressed man of middle age with a weary look upon his striking face cast bis eyes about, and when they fell upon an elderly woman carrying a large bundle he arose slowly and stretched his arm for ward to touch her shoulder. A spruce appearing damsel scarcely out of her teens, one of the sort who looks out for No. 1 under all conditions, had an observant eye for the Mian's move ments and quickly stole forward with the full mental purpose of stealing a march ob the old lady. But the middle-aged man had not passed through life without some study of youthful feminine manners on streetcars, and when she brought up in a sitting pos ture it was plump upon his knees. The shoek was so great that she was pro jected so far forward before her recov ery that the old lady was comfortably resting In the designated place, while the middle-aged man said, audibly: "These seats were not intended to carry double." Chicago Tribune. The Chinese cultiv ate dwarf oak a and pines, perfect trees in every par ticular, bat from six inches to a foot hi gh. The result is attained by root pruning. A MALAGASY ANT'S NEST. The Votry Peculiar to the Great Forest of Mwdagascar. All who have journeyed through the great forest must have frequently noticed large black or dark-brown balls attached to the higher branches of trees, which are called "votry." They are generally a little larger than a football, but occasionally attain the dimensions of a beehive. These are ants' nests. If you take one down and examine it (a rather ticklish business), you will find that it consists of a tough substance exactly resembling dry cowdung. This, however, is not to be found in the depths of the for est, and is, therefore, not the material of which it is made; it is composed of earth mixed with vegetable fiber, but so manipulated as to yield a stiff parchmentlike substance. On the outer surface are numerous entrances into the interior. Now, if you can find it in your heart to be so ruthless and cruel, take a knife and cut a vertical section through the nest; you will discover that it is made up of more or less irregular con centric galleries, the floors of which are about as thick as a shilling and about a quarter of an inch apart. Each of these floors, or layers, is sup ported by a number of pillars rising from the one immediately below it. Near the surface of the nest a number of ants may be seen, but in the center there is a perfect swarm of them, all doubtless wondering what can have caused such a terrible catastrophe. But they waste not a moment of time in idle speculation. See! they are all as bustling and as busy as they can be, and their first thought is to save their helpless young and their guests. For guests, indeed, they have. If you carefully examine the ants you will see one here and there with a very minute red insect on its back, evi dently intent, even at the risk of its own life, on securing the safety of its little guest. Tnis insect, placed under a magnifying lens, turns out to be a beetle. What purpose it serves in the economy of the nest I have never been able to make out. Attached to the branch or twigs that pass right through the nest there are little leathery caps, which contain eggs and small grubs. Of what are these the larvte? I know not. If someone gifted with more than ordinary patience could study these "votry" and the life of their Inmates, the result would, I am sure, prove of interest. Cornhill Magazine. COLOR SENSATIONS. Carious Effects Secored by the Solar hpectram. The three primary color sensations are considered to be red, green and violet. Certain mixtures of violet and green produce a blue; red and green also give a yellow. But it is important to observe that these are primary color sensations, and not primary colors, though the expression "lights of primary colors" is admissble. For it is commonly imagined that the blue and yellow mixed in certain propor tions produce various kinds of green. If yellow and blue pigment be mixed together with water, the green color produced is not a mixture of blue and yellow colors. It is the one col or which is not freely absorbed either by the yellow or by the blue pigment. The yellow pigment re moves the greater part of the blue, in digo and violet rat's; the blue pigment removes the greater part of the red, orange, and yellow. Thus the light that finally escapes is mainly green. It is curious to notice, too, that the sunlight passing through glass of one color is not enly of that color. What is called the ordinary solar spectrum is produced by allowing a ray of sun light to enter a narrow slit and pass through one or more prisms. If a bit of red glass be held over the slit the whole length of the spectrum is not red dened; there is no color in the spectrum of the glass when that color does not exist in the ordinary (rainbow) spec trum. If the red glass be pretty pure, only red and a little orange are visi ble in the spectrum; all the rest is cut away. Wonderful is it also that the colors seen in natural objects are chiefly residuals left after internal ab sorption. A tulip with green leaves .can only be seen in pure light or in the cor responding colors of the 6pectrum. If it is placed in the red band of the spectrum the flower shines brilliantly red, while the leaves shine dull red, not green. If moved to any other band of the spectrum the red petals beeome black and the green alters much. Longman's Magazine. Relics of Early Philadelphia. James T. Evidge, of the Quaker city, has been an indefatigable collector of relics of Philadelphia's early history, and his cabinets contain one of the most curious personal collections to be seen. He ha6 a chip from the first mill stone in the United States, used on Kitchen street, Wissahickon: a funny old lamp made in Germantown one hundred years ago, resembling a com bined tea kittle and coal scuttle; a piece of Franklin's first lightning-rod; shilling scrip, printed in 1760 by Frank lin and Hall on Rittenhouse paper; a portion of the old fence still standing on the battlefield of Germantown, riddled with bullets; part of the Elm tree that stood on the Chew estate; rusty cannon balls and bullets picked up there, and a host of similar inter esting mementoes of the colonial and revolutionary days. Pittsburgh Chronicle-Telegraph. Remote. Papa What are George's prospects. Mabel His uncle thinks he is pro posing to a rich widow. Puck. Why is Jack such a favorite among the ladies? He is neither rich oor handsome." "Oh, but he never at tempts to guess their ages." Phila delphia Record. "Do yon believe that story that Bait jug caught only half a dozen fi6h?" Mrs. Baitjug "Yes; he told me him self that it was only sixty.' PERSONAL AND LITERARY. Miss Edna Dean Proctor, poetess, wants to be known as the apostle of maize as the national flower. She considers Indian corn as being the most distinctively American product. The oldest mathematical book in the world is called the "Papyrua Rhind." It is in manuscript, of course, and was written by one Ahmes, an Egyptian, who lived in the year 2000 B. C. The book is now in the "British museum. Samuel Minturn reck, the "poet laureate" of Alabama, lives in a quaint home on the outskirts of Tuscaloosa. He is handsome, genial and brilliant, a medical graduate, though he does not practice, a good pianist, a fine singer, and an entertaining conversa tionalist. Judge A. B. Norton, the old gentle man with unshorn hair and beard, carrying a cane given him by Henry Clay, who has been seen at all repub lican national conventions, died at Dallas, Tex., recently. He made a vow, in 1M4, not to have his 'hair cut till Clay was elected president, and paid no toll to barbers for the last odd fifty years. Here is another evidence of the re gard in which the lady who figures un der another name in "Dodo" has been held by her countrymen. The dedica tion of the late John Addington Sy mond's "Essays Speculative and Sug gestive," runs as follows: "To Miss Margot Tennant, in memory of long, dark winter nights at Davos, made luminous by witty conversation." The late Chief-Justice Stone of Al abama was held in high esteem as a man, as well as in great repute as a jurist. He served on the bench for more than fifty years, in that time de ciding more than two thousand four hundred cases. Gov. Jones, in an nouncing his death, said: "No greater or purer man ever lived or died in Ala bama, and none whose death was a greater calamity." May Brooklyn's squandered savings were a contributary cause to three sui cides, those of the young woman her self, of F. A. Lovecraft and of a young Hebrew who was their partner in a luckless business enterprise. The young Hebrew had the business knowledge needed for the undertaking, and he was reputed holiest and industrious, but when he saw the venture must be a failure he threw himself beneath the wheels of a train. Mrs. Lyda Hoyt Farmer, author of "A Knight of Faith," "A Short His tory of the French Revolution," "The Life of La Fayette," etc., and editor of "What America Owes to Women," has been the recipient of a note of thanks from Queen Victoria, to whom Mrs. Farmer recently presented a copy of the beautiful white and gold exposi tion edition of the well-known work: "The National Exposition Souvenir: What America Owes to Women." Pietro Sbarbaro, once a member of parliament and one of the most remark able men in Italy, died a few days ago in the top storj of a Roman tenement house. The king paid his funeral ex penses. Before he was twenty years old he was famous as an authority on political and economic subjects. In 1666 he fought for the freedom of Lom bard y. In 1S0 he became professor of political science and the philosophy of law at Modena, His star began to descend soon afterward on account of the grave and uncalled-for attacks which he made on public men. He got the idea that it was his duty to tell the world everything unworthy which he could learn of men in public life. He spent many years in prison on this ac count, lost the places which he had filled with honor, and died "the 'best hated man in Italv." HUMOROUS. Naturally when a girl goes to work out she hates to stay in. Elmira Ga zette. Mabel "With what verses are you the most familiar?" Poet "Reverses." N. Y. World. Haverly "They say old Soak has water on the brain." Austen "Then he must have a hole on the top of his head." Life. Bare an the naked branches of dead tress. Whose chilly fingers grope to leaden skies; So bare of worthy deeds the life that sees Distress, and will not sympathize. Author (whose new play is beinf, hissed by the whole audience) "Heavens! I shall have to hiss too or they will find out that I am the au thor." Fliegende Blatter. Berliner "This scenery is really grand." Native "But you have grander views near Berlin." "No, in deed!" "I am afraid you are not a Berliner." Fliegende Blatter. "Cholly has such a habit of telling all he knows," said one girL "Yes, replied the other, "but it wouldn't be so bad if he would only make a point of knowing all he tells " Washington Star. Young Mother "Baby is some what cross to-day. He is teething." Bachelor (in great awe of the mite of humanity) "And when do you expect him to commence er hairing?" Vogue. May "Does Charlie always come at eight and go at eleven?" Helen "Yes, he has for months. How strange! I don't see how you have time to say a word besides good night." Inter Ocean. Ragged Richard (insinuatingly) "Say, mister, have yer got eny sugges tions ter make ter a feller w'at ain't able ter raise er dime ter git shaved with?" Grnmple (passing on) "Yes; raise whiskers." Buffalo Courier. "Bangs' son has a wonderful influ ence over him. Bangs goes to church regularly now." "How did he persuade his father?" "Well, you see he's only three months old, and it was either go to church or take care of the baby." A man, reduced to desperation through his debts, flung himself into a river. A kind-hearted individual res cued him, and said: "You owe me your life." The would-be suicide, heav ing a sigh "Here's a nice how-d'ye-do another dsbU" La Tribuna. FOR YOUNG PEOPLE THE LITTLE KITE. I never can do It," the little kite said. As he looked at the others high over his bead; I know I should fall U I tried to fly." " Try," sal the big kite; "only try! Or I fear you never will learn at all." But the little kite said: "I'm afraid m fall The big kite nodded: "Ah. well, good-by; I'm on," and he rose toward the tranquil sky. Then the little kite's paper stirred at the sight. And trembling ha shook himself free for filght First whirling and frightened, then o raver grown. Up, up he rose through the air alone. Till tho big kite, looking down, could see The little one rising steadily. Then how the little one thrilled with pride. As he sailed with the big kite, side by side! While far below he could see the ground. And the boys like small spots moving round. They rested high la the aulet air. And only the birds and clouds were there. "On! how happy I am!" the little kite cried; And all because I was brave, and tried." Katharine Pyle, in St Nicholas. IN THE QUICKSAND. Bow a Hoy's Life Was Saved Through His Pony's Devotion. At ten years of age the human being cannot depend on h'.mself to obey or ders, or to get himself out of a scrape; at least Fred Mackleroy could not. But an animal, a pony, say, at three years of age has all his wits about him: at least Fled Mackleroy's pony had. A favorite canter with Fred was the five-mile road leading to Beaver Dams lake; the road was wide, hard, smooth and well shaded, and the lake was a fairy sheet of water full of green islands. There was one restriction on this ride; Fred was never to take the short cut, the bridle path through the woods. But one day, out of very perversity and idleness, he reined Star into the path and rode in under the birches and pines, and In two minutes he was lost to sight. As he rode on he spoke aloud often, contemptuously: "I can see no reason why I should not ride this bridle path!" After riding a mile perhaps, all the time in hearing of the steam thresher in his father's wheat field, he dis mounted and threw himself down un der a cool pine for a rest. Bidding Star to stand there, after a few mo ments he strolled away down into a sunny glade a piece of low ground with bright green sod, through the middle of which ran a sluggish stream with lilies growing in it. He ran forward to gather the flow ers, and in a moment found himself kicking about in a bog, and in a min ute more felt himself sinking, and at the same instant remembered he had been told there was a quagmire in those woods. The spot was a bit of marsh and quicksand and concealed by the rich growth of grass. Many an imals have been mired there, and it was said that more than one hunter had lost his life in the bog. Fred stopped short, and shouted. Stopped short? Yes, he did, for his legs weTe now firmly grasped by the sucking quicksands. There was a hor- P- 1 T&" m FRED TRIED TO CATCH THE BRIDLE. rible feeling all over his body of being drawn downward. His eyes stood out of their sockets. His veins were fit to threw himself over on his back as far as he could and tried to raise one of his legs, nis instinct was to fight for his legs, to hold them by main force against going in further. But who ever fought a quicksand with any success? He wept and struggled and shouted, but aU in vain. There was nothing to do but die, though so near home he could hear the steam thresher and now and then the voices of the men! Oh! it was maddening. Suddenly he heard Star's familiar neigh. There stood the dear little fel low at the edge of the morass, looking at his master and whinnying pitifully. "Oh. Star! Star!" Fred called, "can't you get somebody to come?" With a snort and a neigh the little pony came toward him, picking his way and finding footholds where the boy had missed them. When he had come near enough Fred tried to catch hjs bridle, but he was too weak to reach up so far. Then the wise creature took matters nnder his own direction, ne whirled around so that his long tail swept right over the boy's head. With a cry of joy the poor fellow caught hold of his strong support, and then with a sudden quick and powerful jerk Star drew him out. The boy had just strength enough left to cling tight until he was dragged to safe ground. Then he let go and fainted. In the course of the forenoon the pony's persistent neighings were heard by some one in the wheat field, and Fred was found and taken home. However the boy may feel about the quagmire, there is no rein or bit strong enough to turn the pony aside into that bridle path. E. A. Mathews, in St. Louis Republic. An Experienced Traveler. Husband (at railway station) Good by. Now, are yri sure yon have every thing? Wife Y-e-s; I believe so. Mercy! I forgot the molasses candy. Run and get some for the baby, quick. "Won't he keep quiet without mo lasses candy?" 'Of Pmrsp- nt T .r n.l.. i i - w iua&o aurc J of having & seat to myself." Good GKANDMA'S STORY. She Tell Little Ada About Her First At tendance at School. "Grandma," said little Ada. "mnm ma says I must go to school next week, anvl I don't want to go. Do you think such a little girl as I am ought to go to school? Did you go, grandma, whn yon were so little?" Grandma thought a minute, then she smiled and said: "I was not as old ap yon are the first day I went to schooL I was not four. I remember it vry welL" "Dear grandma," said Ada, "please tell me all about it." "Well," said grandma, "I lived in the country, and the school-house was half a mile away. I had passed it often. TT.Ll.IXO THE PTOKT. when I was out riding, and knew the way very well. One day in summer I said to my mamma: 'May I go to school to-day?" She said 'yes,' thinking I was playing go-to-schooL So I began to get ready. As 1 knew my sister took her luncheon in a basket. I searched for a basket to take mine in. I found quite a large one, and then I went to the pantry to find something to put in it. I could not reach anything but a big platter of boiled corned beef and pota toes that were left there to get cold so that they could be made into hash. The beef did not suit my taste, but I put all the potatoes into my bas ket and put the cover on. Then I put on an old straw hat that had been my brother's. Little girls wore sun-bonnets in those days, but I liked this hat very much, and had trimmed it myself by tying a pink ribbon aroun d the crown. I wonder that no one saw me making my preparations," said grandma thoughtfully. "I should not have been allowed to go if anyone had teen me. "Then I set out. Don, my big New foundland dog who always went with me everywhere out of doors went with me. I remember how warm we were, for the basket was heavy, and how Don lolled and kept lying down, and trying to make me go back by starting off towards home alone, but when I would not go with him he al ways followed me. "When we came to the schoolhoase I pushed the door wide open (it was open a little way) and went in. There were ever so many boys and girls sit ting on benches, and the teacher and they all looked at me. My sister (she was ten or twelve years old) thought some one had brought me to the door' and sent me in with the basket with something nice for her luncheon. So she was quite pleased and proud, and took the CDver off the basket in such, a way as to show as plain as she could, to the gazing boys and girls what I had brought. I remember well how surprised and ashamed she looked when she saw the potatoes, and the boys and girls all laughed. "The teacher hiughed, too, and asked me who came with me. I said 'Don. Then she said my sister might take me Virmo nt ti fiAn Tlnn mn hnmp xvhn T went into the schoolhouse. "I sat on a bench beside mv sister. and the boys and girls looked at me as long as I was there. 'When I was go ing home the teacher kissed me and said: 'Good-by, little Runaway.' "That was a long time ago," said grandma, slowly. N. Y. World. That Altered the Case. Of the late French Senator Renaud, the Kolnische Zeitung tells the follow ing anecdote: When Renaud first came as senator to Paris from his hwme in the Pyrenees he engaged a room at a hotel and paid a month's rent one hundred and fifty francs in advance. The proprietor asked him if he would have a receipt. "It is not necessary," replied ment" "Do you believe in God?" sneered the' host. "Most assuredly," replied Renaud, "don't you?" "Not I, monsieur. "Ah." said the senator, "in that case please make me out a receipt!" Flardly Worth Mentioning. A Yankee with some gift for brag ging, as well as getting out of a cor ner, was talking to an Englishman. "We can lick you right smart," he said. "We've alius done it, an' we can do it again. At Lexington, Con cord, Saratoga, Bunker Hill, an' lots of those places we jest gave you fits." "Yes," said the Englishman, "I do remember those places. But them was the little battle of White Plains We rather beat you there." "Well, you did," admitted the Yankee. "I forgot all about that. I shouldn't have thought of it if yon hadn't a-spoke of it. But then, yot see, at that battle the Americans some how didn't seem to take any nterest in the fight!" Easiest Thing In the World. There are explanations that don't explain, as many people have discov ered. A gentleman, talking with a young lady, admitted that he had failed to keep abreast of the scientific progress of the age. "For instance," said he, "I don't understand how tho incandescent light, now so extensively used, is procured." "Oh, it is very sim ple," said the lady, with the air of one who knows it all. "You just turn e button over the lamp and the light appear at sneer