WHERE TKEY YAYED
ARTEMUS WARDS FAMOUS VISIT
TO THE SHAKERS.
Wordly Man Finally Made Discovery
That All Members of the Com
munity Were Not Averse
to Innocent Fun.
"Mr. Shaker," sod !, "you see before
you a Itabo in Hie Woods, so to speak,
and he axes a shelter of you."
"Yiiy," said the Shaker, and led the
way Into the house, another hein' Kent
to put my horse and wagon under
kiver. A solum female, lookin' some
what like a last year's beanpole stuek
into a Ion;; meal bag, cum In and
nxed mewas I athlrst and did I lumper?
To which I asserted, "A few." She
went orf. and I endeavored to open a
conversation with the old man.
"Khler, 1 sped?" sod I.
"Yay," he said.
''Health's pood, I reckon?''
"Yay."
"Storm nlf;h, sir?"
"Yay."
"If the storm continues there'll be a
mess under foot, hay?''
"Yay."
"If I may be so bold, kind sir. w hut's
the price of thai pecooler kind of
wesket you wcrir, iiu linlin' trimmim:?"
"Yay."
I pawsed a mluif and. thinkln' I'd
lie fascshus with him and see how
that would go, I slapt him on the
shoulder, burst Into a hearty larf, and
told him t hut as a yayer he had no
living ekel.
He jumped up ns If bllin' water had
been squirted Into his ears, groaned,
rolled his eyes up tords the sealin'
and Red:
"You're a man of sin!"
' Then be walked out of the room.
Directly thar cum In two young
Rhnkorossos, as pretty and slick look
In Ralls as I ever met. It was troo
they was drest In meal baps like the
old one I'd met previsly, and their
shiny, silky hair was hid from sight
by long, white caps, seehnsl 'sposo fe
male goats wear; but their eyes spar
Wed like diamonds, their cheeks was
like roses, and they were charmin'
onulY to make a man throw stuns at
bis grandmother If they axed him
to. They conimonst clearing away the
dishes, cast ins shy plances at me all
the time.
I pot excited. 1 forgot lletsey Jane
in my raptor, and sea I:
"My pretty dears, how air you?''
"We air well," they solumly sed.
"Where Is the old man?" said I, In
& soft voice.
"Of whom dost thou speak llrother
I'riah?"
"Yay." I said.
"He has retired."
"Well, my prettv dears." not t "Wa
bave some fun. Ia'Vh play puss in the
corner, w hat say?
"Air you a Shaker, sir?" thev nsked
"Well, my pretty dears. I haven't
arrayed my proud form in a long
wosklt yet, but If they was all like
J'ou perhaps I'd jine 'em. As It is, T
am willing to be Shaker protempor
ary." I hey was full of fun. I seed that
at first, only thev were a little atom
I tawt 'em puss in the corner, and
sloh like plase. and we had n nt
time, koepln' quiet, of course, bo that
the old man shouldn't hear. When we
broke up, sez I:
"My pretty dears, ear I go, you have
no oujections, have you, to a Inner
Bent kiss of partin?"
"Yay." they said, and I yayed
amines r. tirown.
Empty Gallantry.
Mrs. O. II. l Ilelmont' in n repent
address advised younsj women never
to marry men who did not believe In
universal suffrage.
Mrs. Ilelmont, in a later application
or tins advice, said:
"Choose a husband as you would
choose a friend. It isn't gallantry you
want tt is synipnthy and approci;
tion. These gallant men nro very so
dom appreciative: they are verv se
dom, indeed, of much account. Their
gallantry, as a rule, takes the silly
empty form of Mr. Ilucelns'.
"Mr. lluggins came home from the
club in bis usual condition and Mrs
ISupglns said to hint:
" 'William, I'm ashamed of you:'
".Mr. Iiupgins gallantly answered
he tried to light, a fresh cigar from
the stub of his old one:
"Hotter my wife hie should
be
'shamed of me than I should be hie
'shamed of my wife.'"
Ruth Was Temporarily Absent.
A Clay Center mother was In the
bouse of a neighbor, visiting. The
child was out In the front yard with
several others, playing.
"Ruth, Ruth! Are you there?" called
the mother.
"No, mamma; not now," answered
the child.
"Well, when you do come," replied
the mother, "let me know right away
for we must go home before It gets
dark."
The visiting went right on, the play
Ing went right on, Just as If there
had been no Interruption. Kansas
City Journal.
An Unfair Advantage.
"Have you confessed all your sins?'
asked the preacher, solemnly.
"I guess I've about cleaned up," was
the feeble response of the sick parish
loner.
"How about those fish stories you
are so noted for?" continued the pas'
tor. "Were they all true?"
The sufferer's face took on a look
of anguish and disgust. "Parson," he
muttered, "that's a mighty mean ad
vantage to take of a dying man!"
HELD PBISB Hi
BRINDLE CANINE STANDS GUARD
FOR TWO HOURS WHILE AR
TIST AWAITS RELIEF.
UNDER CAR WHEN ATTACKED
Animal Twice Dodges Machine of
Would-3e Rescuers, Then Finally
Runs Off at Master's Merry
Whistle.
New York. Samuel K. Kurtz, an ar
tist, who lives in Manhattan terrace,
latbush, spent an entire day trying
to Dud a brlndle bulldog which for
two hours at midnight kept him u
prisoner in the toiineau of bis auto
mobile after the car had broken down
in such a way that to lix it. Mr. Kurtz
must have lain down beneath it.
That was what he was doing when
the bulldog hove in sight, and he os-
aped Into the tonneau of bis car only
liter the loss of a bit of trousers leg
aid much dignity.
Mr. Kurt, and his wife and young
daughter Virginia had gone for a
long ride and were returning home
at II o'clock at night when the our
became disabled about half a mile
from the artist's home. Mrs. Kurtz
took Virginia home by trolley car.
Mr. Kurtz agreed, and, divesting
himself of bis coat, spread his repair
tools conveniently on the ground, and
stretched himself under his car to ef
fect repairs.
The arrival of the bulldog followed
losely upon the departure of Mrs.
Kurtz and her daughter, and when the
artist had scrambled into the tonneau
to safety bis wife and daughter wero
were too far away to hear n call for
help. All Hatbush was asleep at this
hour, so Kurtz tried to cajole the dog.
With a prowl the dog lurched for
ward, and with a yell the artist sprang
back Into the tonneau, the dog's jaws
snapping together less than an inch
behind him. Ity this time It was 1 1 : :i0
o'clock, and from then until nearly 1
the artist sat in the tonneau hoping
that, the dog would wenry and go
away. Willi his tools all In the road
there was nothing In ihe car that Mr.
Kurtz could throw at his captor.
Alter nearly two hours In the car
Kurtz heard the sound of an automo-
Kurtz Tried to Cajole the Dog.
Mlo's exhaust down the road. As it
drew near he yelled to the driver:
"For heaven's sake run over that
brute. He's got me treed here."
There was a laugh from the other
rar and the driver hacked away and
rushed at the bulldog full speed. The
dog disappeared under the car, but
arose behind it barking and unhurt.
Again the automobile was aimed at
him nnd again tho dog emerged un
harmed. At last the newcomer grew
lired of his job and, declaring that ho
couldn't hit the dog, put on power
and drove away.
For half an hour or more Mr,
Kurtz sat a prisoner, and then along
the street came a belated citizen.
whistling merrily. At the sound the
uog pricked up his cars and dashed to
the newcomer, springing un and show.
Ing, as only a dog can, how glad he
was to see him,
The artist called to the man, who
admitted that the dog was his, and
then Mr. Kurtz recounted his night's
experience. The man touched lm.H
and long, and when the artist asked
his name refused to give It. Ilnu-ovor
when he walked off In the darkness
tho dog went with htm, and after an
hour's more work the artist repaired
nis car and drove home.
He slept late next mornlnir. but feu
waking hours were spent In a hunt
for tho dog. It was unsuccessful. i,.,t
tho artist declares ho will continue
the hunt until ho finds that canine
It takes all summer.
if
Ancient Mining Company.
At Falun, Sweden, nro the headquar
ters of n mining company with a his
tory so remote that the date of its
origin cannot be definitely fixed.
IWIIII iw
BOY tERQMUf IH FOS
SUED Hi SWitIP
STRUGGLES THREE HOURS TO ES
CAPE DROWNING AND DIS
CARDS MOST OF CLOTHING.
New York. Sailing through tho nil
enveloped in an impenetrable fog kc
dense that he completely lost bis
bearings. Frank W. Goodalo, the To
ledo boy aeronaut, was stranded on
the Jersey meadows the other after
noon and almost drowned in a marshy
spot near Klngsland, where ho and
his machine landed.
Discarding his clothing and dis
mantling his machine, that progress
might be easier, Goodalo, though abso
lutely ignorant of his whereabouts,
did heroic work for three hours and
by sheer grit and energy managed tc
Did Heroic Work for Three Hours.
propel bis flying machine several
miles over marshlands and streams,
until he eventually reached Kings
land, where he collapsed and was at
tended by a physician.
Goodalo lias been exhibiting at an
amusement park for several weeks,
and his engagement ended there on
the day of his adventure. lie was
told to appear the next day at Hill
side park, near lielleville, on the out
skirts of Newark. Cioodale deter
mined to fly the eight miles between
the two parks. He got away from the
amusement park about 4:"0 o'clock.
After live minutes of flight (loodale
ran into a dense fog, and in the
gloom lost bis way. He directed bis
machine close to the earth, and found
himself near Homestead, N. J., where
he inquired of several men the direc
tion of Newark. They shouted to him
that be was headed In the right di
rection. Ho encountered dense gloom
again nnd rightly determined that he
was passing over the Jersey meadows.
The fog and dampness deflated the
gas of Goodale's machine, and it be
gan to sink. Then, without warning,
the engine stopped and Gondale and
his airship descended violently on the
marsh land.
Goodalo said afterwards that he
sank in the mud and water up to his
waist, nnd only by the exercise of all
his strength was he able to save him
self from drowning. He drew him
self up on the airship, cast off hia leg
gings, shoes and clothing until he was
all but disrobed.
WHALE SWIMS OFF WITH BOAT
Newly-Married Couple Are Rescued
After Exciting Chase of Twen
ty Miles.
Seattle. Wash. Mrs. and Mrs.
lohn Greenleaf, who hns been spend
ing their honeymoon living In a house
boat, were given a fast ride of 20
miles behind a young fin-back whale
near Fort Angeles.
The houseboat was erected on a
lloat made of eight logs, each SO feet
long and fully a foot thick. Tho boat
was securely anchored In a llttlo cove
by two heavy cables. To prevent Its
breaking away In case of storm,
chains were hung from tho logs to an
chors buried in the sandy beach.
It is believed the whale was playing
at night in the cove and, coming
up under the float, became tangled In
the loose anchor chains. Unable to
free himself, the big fish set the heavy
float careening until the cables parted.
A little after Bunrlso fishermen saw
the float and the houseboat swaying
as If It were by an earthquake. Then
the raft and all started for the ocean.
The fishermen were unaware the boat
was occupied until they saw the
frightened groom and his bride cling
ing desperately to the sides of tho
house. They cried out for help and
the fishermen headed their launch to
ward the rapidly dtsapeparing float
nnd followed at full speed.
About twenty miles out In tho strait
of Juan de Fuca the float came to a
standstill. The fishermen soon came
up and rescued Greenleaf and his
wife.
Tho whale, barely thirty feet long,
had become pinched between two logs
and was dead.
Use for Empty Sirup Barrels.
Europeans have discovered that
American sirup barrels, once used.
are better than new ones. They are
used especially for the pickling of
meat and if of hard wood, even In
the 1'nlted States, bring better prices
than new ones.
f-HSf ( (
ilPi
QUARTERBACKS ARE
BELOW STANDARD
GOOD MEN FOR THE POSITION
SCARCE. ESPECIALLY ON
EASTERN ELEVENS.
WEST TO INVADE THE EAST
Maroons Will Meet Cornell and Try
to Wipe Out Last Year's Tie
Michigan and Pennsylvania Game
a Hard Battle.
Good quarterbacks nre scarce this
year on the gridiron and the work of
most of tho coaches has been devoted
principally to develop players for this
position.
Especially are tho big eastern
elevens weak In the quarterback posi
tion, nnd no man has shown up in the
early games who compares with the
stars of former years. Y'alo probably
is best equip d for the position, but
Harvard, Princeton and Cornell see
the necessity for better work if they
want to grab the big games of the
present month.
With the Minnesota panic, which
the Maroons lightly figured would be
their hardest in the west, out of the
way, the Chicago university boys are
getting Into condition for the mighty
struggle they nre to have with Cor
nell at Ithaca, November 13. Last
year in Chicago the teams buttled to a
tie on Marshall field. The experts say
neither team Is as strong as it was
last season, so the elevens may go
Into the fray about as evenly balanced
as they did in 1908. Cornell's defeat
by Fordham has given new hope to
Stagg and his men, but the wily direc
tor of athletics' and coach of the
eleven keeps warning his players that
they must not place too much confi
dence on what some other team may
have done, but should prepare them
selves for the right kind of battle.
One week after the Cornell battle
comes tho game with Wisconsin,
which w ill be played in Chicago. Now
that the faculty at Madison has lifted
the ban from "Heckle" Moll, the star
quarterback, this game does not look
as easy for Chicago as it did, and
there Is a likelihood of a fierce contest
when the Hadgers and Maroons meet.
Moll had been suspended for partici
pating in a hazing affair. Members of
congress, state solons nnd officials
nnd -all kinds of people wrote letters
demanding that Moll be allowed to
take his place in the liadger line, so
there was nothing for the faculty to
do but consent.
Minnesota beat Nebraska 14 to 0,
but the Gophers knew they had been
In a fight when the game was over at
Omaha on October li. The teams bat
tled on even terms during the opening
half. The Cornhuskers put up a stlfT
defense in the early stages, but lacked
vigor to carry it through the full 70
minutes of play.
Johnstone, the brilliant halfback of
tho Minnesota team, was hurt, sus
taining a fractured ankle in a mlx-up
due to Temple's flying tackle. John
stone will not play any more this sea
son, If at all. The injury to Johnstone
was a severe blow to Minnesota, com
ing as It did just before the game for
the championship with Chicago. His
dazzling end runs and returns of
punts before be was hurt amazed the
Nbrnskans, and Stagg had been
coaching his men against just such
kind of work when the Minnesota star
was eliminated as a possible trouble
maker.
Up at Ann Arbor Coach Yost has
been getting Michigan Into the proper
trim for its eastern Invasion. The
Wolverjnes had little trouble In beat
ing Ohio state, and showed great im
provement over tho contest with
Chase.
Purdue used the forward pass with
pood effect in the game with Del'auw
and carried off the honors, 15 to 12.
"GRAND OLD MAN
Alonzo A. Stagg, athletic director of
tho University of Chicago, from ma
terial that did not seem any too prom
ising at the beginning of the season,
has developed another strong football
team for the Midway this year. Al
though tho w lly coach hasn't as strong
n team as some of those that have
represented Chicago in former years,
Jfv J iV v
&i $ V
AY Alf i; n If J
TYRUS COBB IS FERFECT
SAYS THE GREAT WAGNER
Pittsburg's Wonderful Shortstop Pays
a High Tribute to the De
troit Star.
Hans Wagner has expressed his
opinion on Tyrus Cobb. The great
German player stood in the lobby of
the I'outchartrain hotel chatting with
friends. He was asked what he
thought of Cobb.
"Cobb Is the fastest man I have
ever seen," replied I tonus. "I never
thought be could have that much
speed. 1 heard a lot about Cobb and
how fast he was, but ho surprised me
by the speed he shows on the bases.
I wouldn't say that he is the fastest
man that ever played ball, because I
bave not seen all of them, but he has
as much speed and a lot more than
any man I have ever played against.
"Cobb Is what I call a perfect play
er. He lacks nothing. There Isn't a
thing that a ball player should have
that Cobb hasn't got nnd he's got a
bunch of things that no other ball
player has. He Is perfect In every
respect. I can't find any weakness
and I see nothing that he could im
prove on.
"Hut I don't think that Cobb is as
good as he can be or will bo. He is
still a young man. He has not
readied his prime. Now, if be takes
good care of himself, and there isn't
any reason why he shouldn't, lie will
be good for ten years to come. Cobb
has got a lot before him. and bo
should lie even better than he Is now.
A man keeps on Improving till he gets
to his prime, and Cobb has several
years to live before reaching bis
prime."
ILLINOIS LEADER A STAR
-v fcsiiT?'
,1
Capt. Haum of the University of Illi
nois eleven Is one of the most ex
perienced men on the team. He is a
tireless worker and seems to possess
the natural qualifications of a leader.
He plays left' end and his work has
been highly satisfactory to his admir
ers. Duffy to Manage White Sox.
Hugh Duffy, part owner and mana
ger of the Providence team in the
Kastern league, and formerly member
of Comlskey's and Anson's teams, will
succeed "Hilly" Sullivan as leader of
the White Sox next year. The salary
called for is said to be one of the big
gest ever paid for a "first-year" job,
being close to $12,000.
Sexton Resigns Presidency.
President Michael Sexton of tho
Three I league resigned at the meet
ing in Chicago, saying he would have
to give more attention to his private
business.
OF THE MIDWAY"
it Is not becnuso of lack of good work
on his part. In the game with Illinois
Stagg demonstrated once more that
ho Is a w ily general. He devised a de
fense that successfully met the for
ward pass and the onslde kicking of
the enemy nnd showed that ho knew
the strong points of the opponents as
well as he did those of his own eleven.
$v;f H Ira
4 ,
USES FOR THE SURPLUS MILK
Csn Be Employed to Give Tone and
Strength to a Great Variety
of Dishes.
There Is no real necessity for the
waste of milk that goes on in many
households where a larger supply is
irequently needed that too much
ordered regularly; or In the coun
, where the milk of one cow is an
excess for the family and yet not suf-
licient to sell.
The uses of milk are manfoid. and
saving means only a little matter of
looking into the variety of ways in
hicii it may be used.
Kggs poached in milk are more deli
cate for the family and more nourish
; for tho invalid, says an expert
njrse. Hreakfast rolls dipped in milk
betore reheating in tho oven nre made
uuch more crisp and desirable. A
very dry loaf of bread soaked in milk
and then relinked will be so rejuven
ated as to become almost a freshly
iked loaf.
For the dyspeptic member of the
family bread on which fast-boiling
milk is poured will not be an indiges
tible supper. Indian meal should bo
boiled with milk as a healthy supper
for little children, and eaten with
cream as a fat-producing di-'t for too
thin children.
Kice and farina boiled in ini!L are
more nourishing than the earelesly
thrown togeth'-r cereals looked in
I'ater. in boiling Indian meal for
ri;-d mush milk or half milk as meist
ner will facilitate the frying and pro
duce a rich brown color and a delight
ful crispness.
Morning's milk yields more cream
than eening's, and that taken r.t ueoa
yields least of all.
Flyspecks and dirt on mirror sur
faces may be rubbed off with a cream
made of whiting and alcohol.
To clean gilt, try touching it up a
little nt -a time with a camel's hair
brush dipped In alcohol. Do not let
it dry. but rub off with flannel, which
should be changed frequently.
Ilric-a-brac should be carefully dust
ed before being washed in hot borax
water or soap suds in which a little
ammonia has been dissolved.
Remember that In every kind of
cleaning or polishing it is essential to
dust every crevice before beginning.
Most modern brasswnrc is lacquered
and needs only to bo wiped off with a.
damp cloth. Work quickly and do not
let the surfaces get wet.
Unlacquered brass, if not rubbed
up with one of the good patented,
brass polishes, can be washed in
warm soap suds, then rubbed with salt
and vinegar put on with a piece ot
flannel. Lastly polish with dry whit
ing. If the floors of a closet are wiped
olt with gasoline or benzine after be
ing scrubbed it helps to keep off in
sects. Pork Cutlets.
Praise six pork chops until they
are tender. Cover them and make an
onion sauce, stewing the onions until
the sauce is thick. Pass the sauce
through a sieve, season with salt, pep
per and a teaspoonful of lemon juice..
Now cut tho ment from the bone and
trim neatly. Dip each cutlet In the
onion sauce, covering them thickly,
then roll in bread crumbs, dip them
In beaten egg, then In bread crumbs
again. Fry brown in deep lard. Drain
on brown paper and serve with a hot
apple or tomato sauce.
Lemon Sponge Cake.
One cupful sifted sugar, ono cupful
cold water. Iloil this till it becomes
a thin syrup, add this while hot to
beaten whites of five eggs. Heat this
20 minutes, then add the beaten yolks
of six eggs, one cupful sifted Hour
added slowly, grated rind of one lem
on, and piece of one-half lemon.
Make a boiled frosting, add one-half
the Juice of one lemon. Use a squnre
tin for cake frosting top.
Have the oven just warm when cake
is put in, increasing the heat grad
ually, baking one hour.
To Plank Ron.
To plank fish In a gas oven rub
the board as usual with salt nnd put
It to heat under the flume. As soon
as It Is hot put on the fish, skin down
ward, fold over the thin part of the
fish, brush with melted butter and put
It Into the place for broiling just as
far from the flame as possible. Turn
the flame high until the fish is
browned and then turn it low and
cook slowly for half an hour. Any
fish at all is excellent cooked in this
way.
Date Dessert.
Put a layer of fresh cottage cheese
In a glass dish and sprinkle with a
little cream to make slightly moist.
Over this place a layer of chopped
dates mixed with one-third the amount
of chopped nut meats. Dust lightly
with granulated sugar, put in another
layer of the cheese, then one of dates,
and finish with a rather thick layer ot
the cheese made slightly moist with
cream. Sprinkle with sugar and gar
nish with a few walnut meats.
Port Byron Chill Sauce.
Tut Into a porcelain kettle two doz
en large, ripe tomatoes, peeled nnd
sliced. Add 12 green peppers, red or
green (small), and eight onions
chopped fine, with nine cupftils vin
egar, four tablespoonfuls each gin
ger and cinnamon, two tablespoonfuls
cloves nnd nine heaping tabb,poonfuU
sugar. Cook gently for two hours;
cool and bottle
Cleveland Leader