THE NEWS IN BRIEF.
With
th
Great
Selections from
Spriggs, the
By S. E.
To Addison Sprlgga a great thought i
had come,
"Prom thia tlmo forth," he said to
himself, "I am going to make people
glad. What nobler nil6slon can any
man have? And what Is tho most ef
fective method of giving Joy? It can
be explained In two words: Give
praise. Hereafter I shall give praise
wherever I may bo. Tho groat trouble
with most of us In this world lu that
wo are slaves to formality. In future
I shall not wait for an Introduction to
n lady In order to tell her she la ador
able. Why should I? It Is a waste of
tlmo to do so, and pcopla who take
Buch a course blind themselves to
their opportunities."
With Addison Spriggs to think was
to act. He put on his hat and started
out to lunchoon. in the elevator he
turned to tho young man who was
handling the lever and said:
"Do you know "that your face re
minds me of tho face of Napoleon? You
have tho splendidly formed nose and
tho square Jaw of the great Corsloan."
"Quit your kiddln'," replied the ele
vator man.
Whero Spriggs ate the noon day
meal, which cost him 25 cents, a young
woman with dark eyes and three-quarters
of a pound of hnlr which had
grown upon somebody elso bent over
him and sighed Bevoral weary sighs
while she waited for his order.
"Here," thought Spriggs, "Is a
chance for me to gladden one whoso
life Is a monotonous round of drudg
ery." "Do you know," he asked, "that thero
Is something about your face which re
minds me of Aphrodite?"
"Where does sho wait?" the lady In
A Wolf of Intellect
By Strickland W. Gil li Ian.
A long, low howl, ending In a stac
cato cough, echoed clear over seven
sandhills and fell exhausted half way
up the eighth. At the sound tho broom
grnsB shuddered nnd the polled Angus
cattle turnod palo.
For that call was from Hobo, king
of the Alkali Steer Garden, which ex
tended over a few billion acres of al
ternate bunch grass, desert, dogtowns
and badlands, Interspersed thickly
with magadne writers, nut where, all
this time, was Hobo? Silting comfort
ably on the very apex or a little hil
lock, sharply silhouetted against an Im
itation turquoise sky. but totally In
visible. All who saw him thought be
was a stone, though thero wasn't a
stono within six niliM of there. Rut
people are very accommodating, and
will think many things to humor a
"Suddenly He Stopped and Woofed."
wrltor. if anybody had accused him
of being a wolf, ho would havo given
tho Btony stare and tho marblo heart
until tho accuser would have begged
pardon and acknowledged that Hobo
was a more lupine lithograph.
Having remained lnvlslblo as lo.ng
as be could attract any attention by
being so, and havlngglanced off several
bullets directed against him while he
was doing the granltcwaro Impersona
tion, Hobo lifted up his real bristles,
gave his tall permission to sag, and
started off on a leisurely trot, not
doing over a scant mllo and a half per
minute.
Suddenly ho stopped and woofed.
Hobo was a swell woofer. He could
outwoof any other wolf In America.
Why had ho woofed? He had
smolled the terrible man-smell. A
Mormon Immigrant had camped thero
some tlmo In tho seventies, and could
still bo tracked easily. The aroma of
tin footprints were distinctly visible
J to tho naked noso of a common ani
mal with a had cold, bo what must
It have boon to Hobo, king of the
Alkali Steor Garden, In the full flush
of his manhood nnd perfect heulth?
He was as keen a whlffer as he was
a woofer,
Yet by pointing his muzzle hither
and yondor to tho four cardinal points,
ho discovered that the man had gone
on to Utah, afterward moved to Pora
the Writings of the "Best Kjiotun
Makers of Mirth.
Joy Giver
Kiser.
quired, as sho began picking hor teeth
with a pin.
"You have studied (Jreek mythology,
have you not?"
"Nix. I started to learn shorthand
once, but I give It up because It made
my head ache."
"Well, no matter," Spriggs gallantly
declared; "you are very beautiful."
"There, there," the waitress an
swered, patting him on his bald spot;
"Then the Floor-Walker Laid a Heavy
Hand Upon Addison Spriggs."
"get busy with your order. My feet
hurts."
After ho had finished his meal
Spriggs had 20 minutes to spare, and
he decided to step Into a department
store for the purpose of purchasing a
pair of gloves which he had neoded for
tello and died there In '95, so ho con
temptuously scratched a lot of 40
mule team washing powder over the
placo where last the Immigrant
stepped while climbing aboard his
pralrlo yacht, and resumed his calm
trot for about 35 more miles, at which
distance ten minutes later, ho smelled
Iron and again the deadly man-smell.
Amid the man-scents he detected some
horse-scents, so he knew It was not
a magazlne-wrlter-about anlmals, who
was endeavoring to ensnare him.
He became once more wary and in
visible. This time lie was a pile of
rusty tomato tins until he had thought
It all out. The trap, he found, was
six or seven miles away, at the fur
thest, so he must have a care ah,
Hobo have a care! The lives of such
as you are beset with pitfalls!
Approaching by a circuitous route,
swift as a ball-bearing sunbeam and
silent as a pinch of jeweler's cotton
dropping In a vat of bran-mash. Hobo
went, guided by his unerring whlffer,
to the buried trap. It had been burled
without disturbing In the least the
surface of the ground, nnd bailed with
Fruitless
By Thomas L. Masson.
Cupid come In softly and sat down
quietly. Depositing his quiver on the
floor within easy reach he looked at
her curiously.
No, he hadn't made a mistake. She
was certainly a wonderfully pretty
girl.
"I hope," he said, "that I am not
Intruding?"
"Certainly not," she replied. "I beg
that you will make yourself at home.
You will find a cigarette on tho tab
aret." "Thanks; I don't smoke."
There was a considerable silence.
She wns busy before the mirror In
putting on her hair. She had lovely
hair of her own, but In accordance
with the modern custom, she was re
inforcing It with foreign material. Cu
pid was plainly embarrassed.
"I was In hopes," he Bald at last,
"that yon might be Interested In foiuo
of my wares. I havo a nice line."
"Of what?"
"Oh, of thrills, of ecstasies, of htart
burnings." "Indeed. I am sorry that to-day"
"Well, then, possibly some other
day, when you have more time. Could
n't I make an appointment with you?"
She turned slowly. She was polite,
but firm.
"My time Is extremely limited. I
am going out to n bridge party now,
and I am already late. You see 1 am
on the rush"
"Wouldn't It pay you to give up a
little leisure to romance?"
"Romance! Dear me, how Imperti
nent you are. Don't you know that
that has gone out?"
'Hut"
"Really, you must excuse me. My
time Is so valuable, that l am obliged
to consider every moment. Yon see I
play f:olf, motor, travel, rend the latest
trash, and keep up my bridge game -
several weeks. The glove counter was
presided over by a lady whose first ob
ject In life seemed to be to permit,
the world to know that she had splen
did teeth.
"What size do you wear?" she
asked.
"1 don't know," said Spriggs, smil
ing at l.er in a kindly way. "Can you
take my measure?"
He seated himself and rested an el
bow on the counter. The lady picked
out a pair of gloves and began trying
them on him.
"Yr.u have the most beautiful teeth
I have ever seen," Mr. Spriggs de
clared. "These won't do," the lady com
plained. "Your knuckles are too big."
In a moment she returned wlUi a
larger p&lr. Whllo she was endeavor
ing to get the good rl:;ht hand of Ad
dison Spriggs encased in dog hkm he
smiled very kindly upon her and said:
"1 wish I might come here every day
to buy gloves. Your dimples make
mo glad."
She looked at the floor-walker who
stood behind Mr. Spriggs.
"May I tell you," Spriggs added,
"that you are tbo most beautiful crea
ture It has ever been my pleasure to
behold?"
Then the floor-walker laid a heavy
hand upon Addison Spriggs, and a mo
ment later women were fainting whllo
strong men were assisting In the de
plorable business of flinging into the
street one who had recently decided
to become a Joy-giver.
When Spriggs attempted to explain
the matter to two policemen who took
charge of hint, one of them placed his
nose near tho mouth of the altruist
and sniffed several times, after which
he turned to his fellow officer, shook
his head, and said a little sadly:
"Batty. Thnt's all."
(Copyright, l'JCfl, by W. G. Chapman.)
llmburger cheese, as a further dis
guise. Hut in spite of all these precau
tions, Hobo's stealthy cunning and
the guardian angel of the wild things
told him of danger's presence. He
treating HO miles or so he found a
bit of sagebrush, split It with his
sharp teeth, fastened It on his nose
so ho could endure the awful man
smell, nnd coolly returned to the cou
lee where the snare was. There, aft
er a further reconnaissance, he ascer
tained that the trapper was a tall
man with a slight front stoop but no
veranda or pergola, a cast In his left
eye and a strawberry mark on his
right shoulder blade. Having learned
which, Hobo die; down 15 feet to
where his grandfather had told him
of the burial of a mammoth's bones
that he and his pack hail picked and
Interred, selected a rib, touched off
the steel 1rap with it and trotted to
the far corner of the range, 02 miles
distant as the crow files.
After romping awhile with his cubs,
for exercise, Hobo became a lump of
turf and slept soundly until the fall
ing night struck hint In the small of
the back and startled him to vigi
lance. Thus ended a quiet, unevent
ful day in the life of Ilobo, king of the
Alkali Steer Garden.
(Copyright, VMt), ly W. i. Chnpinnn.)
If I didn't, you know, I would lose so
much as to bankrupt papa and ro
ninnce of nny sort Is something that I
couldn't consider. Hut"
She swept by him on her way to
tho door.
"You might step Into the next room.
There Is someone in there who might
be Interested."
Cupid was desperate. He had been
making calls all day, always with tho
"She Swept by Him on Her Way to
the Door."
same result. No one wanted to look
at his w.rcH. All wen- too busy.
"Thank you," he Kuld, eagerly. "1
Mil go In there, p.y the way. who Is
till person?"
And she smiled bar k over her shoul
der, as she Lurried down the stair.
"Pear old grundmumtin. She still
cherishes her Illusions, you know."
t ''! rlKlil. !:".. I.y V. C. CliKi'in.iti.)
Although the Indisposition f the
pope continues tho attending phy
sK ians maintain that bis holiness will
be iiitircly recovered In a few days.
Ii i-; now understood thai Hoar-Admiral
Spcrry will tile bis application
for relief from the command of the
Atlantic battleship fleet with the next
administration.
While sitting hi a pew at the Hible
class exercises of a Philadelphia
cburib Samuel M. Hurnctt, a wealthy
retired carpet manufacturer, died of
loan disease.
The Russian government has sent a
lele-rani to the Servian government
counseling Servia to renounce all ter
ritorial claims ami n: the decision
of t he powers.
Hayes and Doianilo will meet foi
their third tace over the Marathon dis
tance on March 15, in Madison Squui'
Garden, New York. Hayes believes
he can turn the tables on his rival.
Mrs. John Carter Itrown of Provl
dtiue. said to be one of the richest
widows in America, died at. her sum
mer residence on Itellevuo avenue in
Newport. It. I., after a long Illness.
Ilecauso she was forbidden by her
father to associate with a boy with
whom she had fallen in love, 15-year-old
Klcanor Pink of Philadelphia coin
tnlited suicide by drinking poison.
Blanche Walsh, the actress, who has
been eonlined in a hospital in Kansas
Ciiy more than a mouth, suffering
from a severe attack of stomach trou
ble, has left the hospital and will go
to New York next week.
The annual report of the Pennsyl
vania Railroad Company for the year,
l'.liis, shows a decrease In gross earn
ings compared with the proceeding
vonr. of $."i.4 10, 722. and a decrease in
net earnings of $7,4:;r,2'J".
Judge John K. Richard:-, United
States circuit court of appeals, died
at his home in Cincinnati, ()., of
Kright's disease, agi d 5" years. He was
solicitor general or the I'nited States
under President McKinley from 1X11"
to P.w:!.
Jules Cambon. the French ambassa
dor to G.-i many, conferred upon llerr
von Schoeii. the German foreign min
ister, the grand cross of tin? Region of
Honor, as an Indication of France's
,;atisfactioii over the Franco-Gorman
agreement on Morocco.
A $5ii,mimi monument in memory of
President .lames A. Garfield Is pro
posed in a hill introduced by Repre
sentative Langley of Kentucky. The
iiiensines provides that the monument
diall lie erected on or near I lie Middle
Creek lmttlolleld in Floyd county,
.'xentucky.
Jean Mattis, the waller who last
Christinas attacked President Fall
ieres of Franco and tried to pull his
oeard. was tried and convicted and
H'liteiiced to four years' Imprisonment,
the imprisonment to he followed by
live years' han'slinient from the boun
daries of Paris.
Icwans In Chicago have started a
movement to augment the fund piling
up for the erection of u substantial
monument to the late William It. Alli
son, former ncstnr of the I'nited
States senate. The legislature and
congress has also made an appropria
tion for a suliable memorial to b"
erected In Washington.
PILLSBURY PLANS APPROVED.
English Debenture Holders in Favor
of Reorganization of Company.
London, Mar. 2. At u meeting held
here yesterday of the debenture hold
i of the Pillsbury-Washhurn Flour
Mills Company of Minneapolis, the
plan of reorganization was approved.
I'ho reorganization Is to be carried out
liroiigh the medium of an operating
:ompany to Ik- formed ai Minneapolis.
I'ho reorganization proposal was
iirroed to by I he Kngllsh shareholders
if the company last December.
Flood Danger l& Over.
Cincinnati. March 1. So far as this
Mty is concerned, the flood conditions
experienced for the last week are over,
:he singe of the river at seven o'clock
last ntghi being 515 and gradually re
ceding at the rate of one-tenth of a
foot tin hour.
THE MARKETS.
Ni'W York. Mar.
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Gossip oi Washington
What Is Gointf On ut the
Nutional Capital.
Clerk Weds Prince
WASHINGTON. -From government
Clerk to orlncess Is the etninire
made by Miss (Jeorgle Jeffrey, former
ly a clerk in the olllce of the auditor
of the post olllce department.
She Is now the wife of Prince Alfred
Ahrenhelin-liagarin, adjutant to his Im
perial majesty, the czar. The wedding
took place In ('anion. China. The
prince and princess are now traveling
in the far east, but will ultimately go
to St. Petersburg, where they will
make their home.
The romance which culminated in
the marriage of the American tlrl nnd
the Russian nobleman had Us Incep
tion on an ocean steamer bound for
tho far east. Miss Jeffrey, who wns re
garded as one of the best clerks in the
post oflloe depaitnienl, wns transferred
ut her own request from that depart
ment to the Philippine service.
She left Washington early in Octo
Capital Is Cordial
TIIK Countess I.ulse Alexandra von
nernstorlV. only daughter of the
German ambassador ami Connless von
HernstorlT, has found the national cap
ital of her mother's nutlve land much
to her liking. Kver since the arrival
in Washington or the kaiser's new rep
resentative and his family, they have
been entertained constantly. To all af
fairs given for Hie younger set the
"liltle countess," as she Is frequently
called, has been Invited.
Countess Alexandra was born and
educated abroad, and is making her
first visit to this country. Sho speaks
the language with only a tdlght accent,
for her mother, who has lived in for
eign countries ever hIiico she was 15
years old, has never dropped the Kug
llsh tongue, but has spoken It to her
daughter nnd son, I ho latter now a
student In Germany.
A year ago the daughter of the Von
HouseComrnitteeClerkCourtsinDemand
v. -! i .3 c i n !. n
TI1KRK is no abler servant of tho
I'nited States In the capitol build
ing than James C. Courts, the diminu
tive clerk of the house committee on
appropriations. Without him the great
committee would be often at. sen.
It would be almost an utter Impos
sibility for Chairman Tawney or any
other head of that great committee to
carry in Ids mind the vast details of
the appropriation bills which it brings
Into the house, carrying amounts vary
ing from a few to more than $iuu,0i)il.
090. Some member of the house wants
to know about some Item In every
bill and frequently the whole house
wants to know about a good many of
them. Chairman Tawney can answer
offhand as many questions as any
other chairman who ever stood In his
shoes, but It is Courts who, when he
sits down, is almost hidden by the
desk in front of Mm, but is the ready
prompter when the chairman's mem
ory fails. Pel ween Tawney and Courts
practically no time of the house Is
wasted In getting necessary informa
tion for all coiners
Secretary Satterlee's Zest for Duty
HKItltKRT LIVINGSTON SATTKK
I.F.F., son of the late Plshop Sat
terlee and son -In-law of ,1. Plerpont
Morgan, recently appointed to slic
ed d T. II. Newberry as assistant sec
retary of the navy, was one of the
board of visitors at the Naval acad
emy last Juno and entered Into his
duties with n .est and Interest that
was particularly pleasing to the acid
emy staff. II" Insisted upon seeing
everything there was to be seen, ute
in fhe mess hall, went out in the
launches and watched the drills. At
last h" decided that be must slop in a
midshipman's bed; ho he was assigned
to a room on one of the decks.
Now at the very time the board of
visitors was at the academy the West
Point-Annapolis baseball game was on
and the West Point team were to be
given a rousing seudoff when they
took their departure, which wus flxed
in Travel Romance
ber hound for Manila, hut stopped In
Denver to visit friends before leaving
the country. While visiting In Denver
she became acquainted with friends of
her hostess who were also bound for
the east ami who had taken passage on
the steamer which was to carry her to
Manila. Miss Jeffrey learned that they
were to make several side trips and so
she obtained an extension of leave
from the Philippines and decided to
join the parly of tourists.
Whether the prince was a member
of this party or whether Miss Jeffrey
met him after the ship passed through
the Golden Gate has not been mailt
known. At any rale, he was u passen
ger on the Hteamer, nnd the acipialnt
ancn which formed then resulted In 11
pretty little love affair. The prince con
tinued with the party through their
travels In China and Japan and the
love story progressed in the most sat
isfactory way.
While lit Hong Chow the party went
for an outing. The funny little native,
rig In which Miss Jeffrey wns riding
collided with a carriage. MIhs Jeffrey
was thrown to the ground nnd Injured
painfully, but not seriously. It was
not long altur this that the niurrlagt
look place.
to Little Countess
Hernstorffs made her debut In society
t Cuiro, Kgypl, where her father was
his count ry'B representative, up to u
few months ago. She feels ns If she
were making a second debut, since com
ing to Washington, for she has taken
part In all the affairs given for Miss
Kthel Roosevelt, as well as In many of
the official functions.
Since the dismantling of the German
embassy by the Harmless von Stern
burg, who recently sailed for Kurope ,
with her mother to spend the rest of
the winter on the nivlern, tho house'
has been placed in the hands of dec
orator and furnishers, and the ambus
sailor nnd his family have been obliged!
to live at one of the hotels. The em
bassy is expected to be ready for oc
cupancy In April.
The Countess von l!ernstot ff and her
daughter wish to know all about the
city In which they live, and they are
seen frequently on pleasant mornings,
guidebook In hand, learning about
historic houses and places. They have,
strayed already outside the foreign and'
olllclal circles to meet people of Inter
est, and It Is confidently expected that
the German embassy will be thorough
ly cosmopolitan and democratic during:
the present. Incumbent's regime.
When congress recently voted $800,
000 for the relief of th Italian earth
quake, victims, nn unusual scene was
enacted in the house. A misunder
standing had arisen between the presi
dent and congress as to the amount of
the relief and the bill prepared by the
house committee on appropriations
did not. lit with the president's mes- 1
sage by $:!00,000. Courts was sum
moned by a general alarm und re
sponded readily, pen In hand. A con
ference was held at the speaker's ta
ble lasting about two minutes, und
those two minutes brought $:!0l),000i
more relief to the sufferers of Italy.
Courts ami his pen fixed the bill and
Courts later rushed the bill to the en
grossing committee and had it in the
senate in record time.
When congratulated by memhors
and civilians alike later, Courts mere
ly smiled. When, however, some one
ventured to suggest that It was an in
spiring sight to see congress act so
generously and so quickly. Courts re
plied: "I once knew a congressman
who made a speech In Fanetill hall,
lioston, and bragged about the passage
of a pension bill carrying over 1 100.
000,000 in forty minutes. Finally he
swelled up in his patriotism and ex
claimed: 'Can you heal thai?' somi'
body in the hack row replied: 'Lord, 1
hope not.' There Is such a thing as
being too quick on the trigger."
for very early In the morning of the
night that Mr. Satterlee played at be
ing a midshipman and slept In Pan
croft, or "ltankrnpt." hall as the mid
dles facetiously call It, apropos or
their c mule penniless state. "All out"
wns called promptly and those who 1
did not turn out quickly enough to
suit the middy officers were uncere
moniously dumped out on the' floor,
mattress mi l all. The olllcer of one of
the decks rushing hurriedly arouml
at the last moment to see that all hail
obeyed his summons came to a room
whose occupant bad not stirred, but
with bis bead burled In the pillow was
soundly sleeping. Here, you, get up."
called out Mr. Midshipman, and meet
ing with no response,' said, "Oh, you
wont, won't you?" With that he
rushed toward the bed and taking:
hold of the mattress was about to
Jerk It down on the floor, when a
sleepy voice said, "What's the mat
ter?" and a sleepy face, wearing a full
heard, enieiged from the bed clothes.
It was Mr. Satteileo of the honorable
board of visitors who bad been so un
ceremoniously aroused, and when this
fact dawned upon the brain of Iho en
terprising midshipman he beat A
hasty retreat.