JUAmH flpK o. tbm F,
A pood story ha been told of m lisp
ing officer having Wen victim iv-ed by a
brother officer who was noted for bis
cool deliberation and ntrong nerve
and of his -getting square" with him
in the following manner: The cool
Joker Capt. Blacken' v was always
quizzing the liBping oflicer a lieuten
ant for his nervousness, and said one
day at mess. "Why, nervousness is
all nonsense; I tell you no brave man
is ever nervous."
"Well," inquired his lisping friend,
"how would you act thpotliing a thell
with an inth futhee thould drop ithelf
in a walled angle, in which 3011 had
taken bhelter from a company of tharp
thooterth ami were it wath thertaiu if
you put out your nothe you' get iep
Kred P"
"How?" said the captain, with a look
at his brother-oflicers. "Why, take it
cooly and spit on the fusee."
The party broke up and all retired.
The next morning a number of soldiers
were assembled on parade, when along
came the lisping lieutenant. Laaily
opening his eyes ho remarked to a
cluster of officers: "I want to try an
ekthperiment thitli morning and thee
how ektheedingly cool Tom Blakeuey
can be."
Saying this, he walked deliberately
into the captain's quarters, where a
tire was burning on the hearth, and
placed in its hottest part a powder
canister and instantly retreated. There
wm but one door of egrees from the
quarters and that opened on the pa
rade ground. The occupant gave one
look at the canister, comprehended the
situation, and in a moment made for
the door, but it was fastened on the
outside.
"Charley, let me out if you love me!"
shouted the captain.
"Th pit 011 the canither!" shouted he
in return.
'V .
ot a moment was to ix lost; the
captain had at lirst snatched up a
blanket to cover him.clf with; but
mii dropping it, he raised the win
dow, and out he bounded, sans every
thing but a very short undergarment,
and thus, with hair almost on end, lie
dashed itn to a full parade-ground.
TI10 shouts which hailed him brought
out tiie whole of the occupants of the
barracks to see what was the matter,
and the digniticd captain pulled a ser
geant in front to hide himself.
"Why didn't you thpit on it?" in
quired the lieutenant.
"Hecause there was no sharpshoot
ers in front to stop a retreat," an
swered the captain.
"All I've got to thnv. then, ith."
said the lieutenant, -that vou miirht I
thafely have done it, fori thware there
wathn't a th ingle grain uf powder in
it."
BELIEVE IN SICttS.
ItpMiMMMi la Yariovs
A BABY'S DIARY.
Ilr Ili)rel
It Pretty l.nw Ion 011
I'oor Voiiiis Dud.
Ilia
first W eek As near as i am
able to
linssre from appearances my arrnai
lias kicked up quite an excitement in
the household. I have been weighed
and the figures were given at eight
pounds, i have also been carefully
inspected and have been pronounced
sound iu wind and limb. It's a go as
far as I am concerned. My young dad
seems to be tickled half to death, and
his breath smells of beer. When ho
heard I was a boy he went out back of
the house and jumped on his hat for
joy. If I don't make him jump for
Mime other caue before I get over this
redness of complexion then vou may
play marbles on my bald head!
Second Week Nurse is here yet,
siud I'm on my good liehavior. She
looks to nie like a woman who
wouldn't take much sass off a young
ster, and I don't want a row until my
muscle works up a little more. Sev
eral parties in to see me, and I had to
listen to the usual congratulations.
Some talk of bringing me up on a bot
tle, but I'll have something to say
aUut that later on. I'm hiving low
and taking things easy. Dad is still
walking around with a grin 011 his
fac'. and there was a smell of gin
cocktail in the room last night. When
l.e remarked that I was just the quiet
est and most good-natured baby in
New York I came near giving myself
dead away. There's a surprise in
tore for that hayeed, and it'll hit
him like a load of brick.
Third Week Everything so so.
Nurse goes Saturday niirht. She brags
aliout what a little darling I am., but
hes talkiivr for wages. I'm quite
Mire she mitru-ts me. People keep
coming in to p-iw me over and look at
my feet. The general verdict is
(ahem!) that I'm just the cutet,hand
s unest young'un ever born. That's
:11 Inish, however, and I'm not at aft
tuck on my shape. They allowed
dad to carry me around a few minutes
last evening, and you'd a-thought h
owned the earth. He said lie could
walk with me for a week, and I just
gurgled. He'll drop to something
f-re he is a week older. I haven't said
much thus far. but I've done a heap o'
thinkiug just the same. I don't pro
lse to take advantage of the baby act
much longer. Had a row with the
nurse and had to give in. Beaten, but
not conquered.
Fourth Week I told you I'd do it.
r:id I did! TV" ;irht after the niire
l-ft I tok up that unlinished business
v. ith dad. and along altout 4 o'clock in
the morning he was the sickest man
you ever siw. I didn't want to kill
him in one night and so saved some of
him over for the next. Colic, you
know. All babies have it and I wasn't
going to be left out. Kicks, squirms.
wrirles. yells, with dad trotting up
anddown until he finally shook his
tist under my nose and hoped I'd die.
Then I let up a little, but I've got a lot
more colic saved up. The happy grin
has quite vanished from his face, and
the sav he has lost five pounds.
i li''.; all right. I propose to take a
hand in from this time on. If the old
to Imlsre or a tnecker
In Mansfield, O., many years ago. it
wad generally believed that the seeds
"Jo Irs tears," worn around the "neck.
would cure goitre, as would amber or
gold beads. Lf through New En
gland teething children were presented
with the same charm, which were kept
at the drug stores to ward off sore
throat and diphtheria.
In Michigan a double cedar knot is
carried in the pocket to cure rheuma-
a - If -m.T
usm, arm in rxew Hampshire a man
carried a gall from the stems of golden-rod
for the same disease. A small
white grub is in the gall, and ho
thought as long us the grub remained
alive no rheumatism could get hold of
him.
Hickory nuts, the buckeye and its
cousin, the horse chestnut, which
brings good luck in New Jersey, are
foes to rheumatism in different locali
ties. Some people wear a strange
ring made of a potato, with a hole
bored through it, for rheumatism, and
carry a plain itotato in the pocket. The
charm is more potent if the potato has
oeen stolen. Almost everything seems
to have rheumatism-fighting proper
ties, for in Southern Michigan a peb
ble in the pocket serves to ward it off.
A New Hampshire cure for sore
throat is to wear about the neck a
stocking.in the toe of which a potato has
been tied. According to a Maine be
lief a nutmegDierced and hung on a
string around the neck prevents boils,
croup and neuralgia. The effect of a
Connecticut wooden nutmeir is un
known.
Among the negroes the most strik
ng remedies are to be found. Witness
the combination of cure'and spell, tie-
scribed under the name of "coniurinff
a tooth," in Alabama. Go into a lone
ly part of the woods with one of the
opposite sex, who is to carry an ax.
The bearer of the ax chops around the
roots of a white oak, cuts off with a
large jackknife nine splinters from the
roots 01 a tree, tucn cuts around the
roots of the aching tooth with tha
knife, dips each of the nine splinter
in the blood llowingfroiu the cuts, and
finally buries the splinters at the foot
of the tree from which they came.
While doing this the operator repeats
something you don't understand,
which is a charm.
From the same locality comes a curi
ous remedy for chills and fever. Take
the skin from the inside of an eggshell,
go to a young persimmon tree three
days in succession, and tie a knot ia
Mie skin each day.
On the eastern shore of Maryland
biliousness is cured by boring three
holes in a carefully selected tree and
walking three times around it, saying:
"Go away, bilious."
In parts of Massachusetts it is
thought that if a girl puts a piece of
Southern wood down her back, the
first bo- she meets will be her hus
band. In Boston if a marriageable
woman puts a bit of Southern wood
under her pillow on retiring, the first
man she sees in the morning will, so
says the superstition, be the one whom
she is to marry IVashin-jton Slar.
TlUi OM M WiW).
OICNITY OF THE SEX.
Chicago Hod Carrier Drew the l.fae
Being: Put iu Order by a Woman.
a
ask
the
man srets out to
. hw winter vou lust
am " - - .
me how it happened. I ni kccpin;
run of things under the proper dates
and now and then 1 11 dish you up half
column or so and let yon know i ho s
running the house. Dad may go any
dav nevt week. bt as for me le
cofnu to taT. X J". H orll.
One of the hod carriers at work on a
brick bHilding out in the suburbs
climbed up to the first story Thursday.
Then he fell, and the hod, the bricks,
and the ladder fell on him. When the
debris had been pulled away the hod
carrier was lying face downward on
the pavement stone senseless. There
wasn't a a drug store or a doctor with
in half a mile. A bricklayer put on
his coat and tore for the nearest
patrol box. Meantime the hod carrier
was tying there in a mess of blood, ap
parently thinking about nothing in
particular.
The boss was fuming about, kicking
blocks of wood into the street, and
swearing at the laziness of the police.
The big plasterers, who could drive a
spike with their fists, were standing
around as helpless as children. At
this time a young woman in a blue
coat came across the street. She was
pretty and rosy, with a lot of yellow
hair drawn up tightly from her tem
ples, and she hail a most decided look
in her bjue eyes. She brushed the big
fellows aside and asked briskly:
"What's the trouble here, men?"
"One of the boys has busted him
self wide opeu." said the boss politely.
"Let me see," said the pretty gir,
dropping on her knees beside the hod
carrier. She took off a dainty kid glove,
and with her little white hand felt the
man's skull.
"No bones fractured here," she said,
looking up at the group around her.
Then she noticed the pool of blood
lying boside the man's right arm, and
whipping out a pair of scissors she rip
ped up the coat sleeve and the sleeve
of the flannel shirt.
"Goodness!" she said. "An artery
has been cut. (Jive me a piece of
twine, quick."
The boss pulled a piece of coarse
st ring from his coat pocket and hand
ed it to the girl. She drew it around
the man's arm. made a loop knot,
thrust a pencil into the loop and
twisted it until the cord sank deep in
to the Hesh.
"You hold this." she said to the boss,
and the big man knelt down and grab
bed the ligature. Then she had some
water brought.' She washed the scalp
Wound in a jiffy. Then she cut among
the loose flesh with the scissors and
with plater and a strip of linen from
the same preposterous bag she made, a
neat bandage. Then she arose and
viewed a pretty job of emergency
surgery with reasonable complacency
The patrol wagon and the hod carrier
came around at the same time. As the
wagon backed up the hod carrier
opened his eyes and saw the girl in the
bine cloak.
"Are you hurt. Mike?" said the boss.
"Naw." said the carrier. "Take me
somewhere that I can get a doctor. I
don't want no d.uu women monkey in'
'round me!"
The girl doctor in blue looked at him
quizzingly and laughed as she washed
his gore from her hands in the bucket
of water. Vhirago Herald. .
Thars irai prattr old and a preUy
erdaat-lookdaf man at the Third
treet depot th other day with three
ours to wait tor his train, and by and
by he approached Officer Button and
said he gueissjd he'd wander around
for a spell, sa, s the Detroit Free Press.
"Well, look-out for yourself," replied
the officer.
"Any danger?"
"There's always slick fellows about."
"Yas. I 'spose thar' is, but I shan't
let nobody foot me."
He was gone about an hour, and
when he returned he showed the officer
a bank check for $200 and asked:
"Does that seem all right to you?"
"Right? Of course not. It's a check
on a Buffalo bank signed John Smith.
u s a dead fake, 01 course.
"Fake! Fak ! What's a fake?" '
"You've br m faked. I expected
you'd get into trouble when you went
out of here. Seems singular that you
can't talk common . sense into some
people." ' I
"then the check is no good?" asked
the old man.
"Why, of course not. How much
did you lend on it?"
"I gave him 25."
"W ell, you've been confidenced, and
now you'd better go and sit down and
keep mum?"
"Is that what they call a confidence
gamer
"Of course."
"Well, I thought so all the time."
"Then what did vou let him walk off
with your money for?"
"1 didn tv you know. He started to
go, but 1 grabbed him by the neck.
ike this, and backed him up agin' a
wall, like this, and I pulled out this
old pistil and laid the bar'l on his nose
and he give up that money quicker'n
scat."
The old man illustrated the case in
the most vigorous manner, even to
laying on the bar'l, which was a ior-
tiou ot a weapon seemingly fifty years
old.
"So 3-011 got your money?" asked the
officer, as he got his neck loose from
the old man's grip.
"Got 'er right down in my breeches
pocket, safe, as a bank. How much
more time have I got?"
"An hour and a half."
"Wall, I guess I'll take another little
walk around. Mebbe I'll meet some
body else who don't know that I run a
side-show with old Dan Rice's circus
fur better than twenty years, and who
thinks I'm a kitchen door for llies to
roost on."
Tlie Sec-ret of His Suoces.
Taken Up.
Taken tap at tur farm 2 milee
eouth of Plattemouth, Wedneaday
Februry 3rd, one yearling heifer calf
and one yearunp; steer can, ootn rea
marked with tip of left ear cut off
and "V cut on under Bide. Partr
mar have same by parinir for acl-
rertieement and proving owner
ahip. Bb.x F. Horning.
Bucklen'a Arnica Salve.
Tub Bust Salve in the world for Cute
Bruises, Sores, Ulcers, Salt Rheum. Fever
Sores, Tetter, Chapped Hands, Chilblains,
Corns, and all Skin Eruptions, and posi
tively cures Piles, or no pay required.
It is guaranteed to give satisfaction, or
money refunded. Price 25 cents per box.
for sale by F. G. Fricke
The First step.
Perhaps you are run down, can't
eat, can't sleep, can't think, can t do
anything to your satisfaction, and
vou wonder what ails you. You
should heed the warning, you are
taking the first step into nervous
prostration. You need a nerve tonic
and in Electric Bitters you will find
the exact remedy for restoring your
nervous system to it normal, healthy
condition. Surprising results fol
low the use of this great Nerve
Tonic and Alterative, Your appe
tite returns, good digestion is re
stored, and the liver and kidneys re
sume healthy action. Try a bottle.
Price 50c, at F. G. Fricke & Go's
drugstore. 0
Do not confuse the famous Blush
of Roses with the many worthless
paints, powders, creams and
bleaches which are flooding the
market. Get the genuine of you
druggist, O. IT Snyder, 73 cents per
bottle, and I g larantee it will re
move your p m .jles, freckles, black
heads, moth, tan and sunburn, and
give you a lovely complexion. 1
'sAwd reading!" he said. "Why, it's
the simplest thing in th world. I've
followed it as a business now for five
years, and I don't recall that I have
made a failure."
"You can read any one's mind?"
asked the caller.
"Well, no; not exactly that," replied
the long-haired professor; "but I can
make any one think that I can do it,
and that's just as good from business
point of view."
"Make them think so!"
"Certainly, i wouldn't like have
my system generally known, nut 1
don't mind giving you an insight into
it. You see, I put a man in a low arm
chair so that he can't get up easily and
then I make some passes before his
eyes and fix his mind on some certain
thing; it makes no difference what.
Then I pass my hand back and forth
slowly across his forehead and finally
let it rest in one place for a moment or
so."
"I don't see what good all that does."
"Of course not. Neither does he. So
I swipe him."
"Hit him?'V
"Slap his face and tell him to stop
that. Then I hit him again and tell him
that I won't stand that from any man."
"Wrhat's that for?"
"What's it for? Hang it. man!
What would you be thinking if I were
going through all that foolishaess with
you?"
"That you were a scoundrelly fraud,
a confidence man, or an inspired
idiot."
"Precisely. Same with my victim.
That's why he's satisfied when he gets
the second swipe that I have read his
thoughts. It's no trick at all when
you tnow how to do it." Chicago
Tribune.
MThy He Iid It.
A short time ago, as I was crossing
Market street, near Twenty-secon3
street, a boy not over ten years old,
who had been walking just before me,
ran into the street and picked up a
broken glass pitcher. I supposed he in
tended the pieces as missiles, since the
desire to throw something seems in
stinct in every boy. Consequently I
was much surprised when he tossed
the pieces into a vacant lot at the cor
ner and walked quietly on. As he
passed me, whistling, I said: 1
"Why did you pick up that pitcher?"
"I was afraid it might cut 'some
horse's foot," he replied.
Mv next question was a natural one:
"Are you a Band of Mercy boy?"
He smiled as he said: "Oh, yes;
that's why I did it."
The bands of mercy were drawn very
closely around the dear little fellow's
heart, I am sure. Sclutol and Home.
History ItepeAts Itself.
"H'm." muttered the tramp, as he
surveyed his one remaining cent in a
loving way. "I reckon me an' ole man
Gladstone has one thing in common
auvwav."
-And what's that?T-fcked Wily Walt.
"We both grow shorter as we grow
older." .si. ,foffk !Ai?y AYw.
Change in Liatitnde.
A few years ago .it; "was 1 'suspected
that the latitude of,placea .on the
earth's surface changes.,- .A number
of astronomers agreed to. make obser
vations for two years and the result
has just leen made public. Latitudes
do change. Berlin, for example, was
60 feet nearer the north pole in Sep
tember than it was in March. This
change is not of course, a shifting of
anv one point on tne earth s surface.
It is a tilting of the axis of the eartk.
Specimen Caes.
S. II. Clifford, New Castle. Wife
was troubled with neuralgia and
rheumatism, his stomach was dis
ordered, lus liver was atlected to aa
alarming degree, appetite fell awai
and he was terribly reduced in flesh
and strenirth. Three bottles oi
Electric Bitters cured him.
Edward Shepherd, Ilarrisburg
111., had a running sore on his leg
of eight years' standing. Used
three bottles of Electric Bitters and
seven bottles Bucklen's Arnics
Salve, and his leg is sound and well
Tolin Speaker, Catawba, O., had fivt
large fever sores on his leg, doctors
said he whs incurable. One bottl
Electric Bitters and one box Buck
len's Arnica Salve cured him entire
ly. Sold by F. G. Fricke Co.
A Fatal Mistake.
Physicians make no more fatal
mistake than when they inform pa
tients that nervous heart troubles
come from the stomach and are of
little consequence. Dr. Franklin
Miles, the noted Indiana specialist,
has proven the contrary in his. new
book on "Heart Disease" which may
be had free of F. G. Fricke & Co.,
who guarantee and recommend Dr.
Miles' unequalled new Heart Cure,
which has the largest sale of any
heart remedy in the world. It cures
nervous and organic heart disease,
short breath, fluttering, pain or ten
derness in the side, arm or shoulder,
irreerular pulse, fainting, smother
ing, dropsy, etc. His Restorative
Nervine cures headache, fits, etc.
AMttle lrl8 Experlencein a LigMt
house.
Mr. and Mrs, Loren lrescott are
keepers of the Gov. Lighthouse at
Sand Beach Mich, and are blessed
with a daughter, four years. Last
April she taken down with Measles,
followed with dreadtul Lough and
turned into a fever. Doctors at
home and at Detroit treated, but in
vain, ehe grew worse rapidly, until
she was a mere" handful of bones
Then she tried Dr, King's New
Discovery and after the use of two
and a half bottles, was completely
cured. They say Dr. King,s New
Discovery is worth its weight in
gold, yet you may get a trialj bottle
free at F. G. rnckey Drugstore.
A Mystery Explained.
The papers contain frequent no
tices of rich, pretty and educated
girls eloping with negroes, tramps
and coachmen. The well-known
specialist, Dr. Franklin Miles, says
all such girls are more or less hys
terical, nervous, very impulsive, un
balanced; usually subject to nead
ache, neuralgia, sleeplessness, im
moderate crying or laughing. These
show a weak, nervous system for
which there is no remedy equal to
Restorative Nervine. Trial bottles
and a fine book, containing many
marvelous cures, free at F. G. Fricke
& Co's., who also sell and guarantee
Dr. Miles' celebrated New Heart
Cure, the finest of heart tonics.Cures
flutteringshort breath, etc.
Cough Following the Crip
Many person, who have recovered
from ' la grippe are now troubled
with 'a persistent ' cough. Cham
berlain's cough remedy will
promptly, loosen this cough and
relieve the lungs, effecting a per
manent cure in a very short time.
25 and 50 cent bottle for sale by F.
G. Fricke & Co.
Jhey wash their clothes
WITH
C!yS
MADE ONLY BY
N.KfAIRBANiv8cC0. CHICAGO.
A Regular Scimitar
That Sweeps all before it ,
OPfTKWPOD
11'-
r mm m Mm w m w . v .
aa aaa. mi a . 1.
in -1 ' 1 nese win aimosr men in
your mouth.
Charmer" is
very productive, high Quality and sugar flavor. Hat ereat stavin? dualities. Vines 3K to
4 ft. hieh. In season follows Little Gem" and before the'Chamnion of Enc-land." We
have
oroughly tested it, and confidently recommend it as the best ever introduced.
mce Dy man, per packet, 10 cents pint, o cents.
GIVEN FREE, IF DESIRED, WITH ABOVE,
VICK'S FLORAL GUIDE 1892,
which contains several colored plates of Flowers and Vegetables. 1,000 Illustrations.
Over 100 pages 8 x lO inches. Instructions how to plant and care for garden.
Descriptions of over 20 New Novelties. Vick's Floral Guide mailed on
receipt of address and 10 cents, which may be deducted from first order.
JAMES ViCK's SONS, Rochester, N.Y.
Mexican
Mustang
Liniment.
A Cure for the Ailments of Man and Beast
A long-tested pain relieyer.
Its use is almost universal by the Housewife, the Farmer, the
Stock Raiser, and by every one requiring an effectiye
liniment'
No other application compare with it in efficacy.
This well-known remedy has stood the test of years, almost
generations.
No medicine chest is complete without a bottle of Mustang
Liniment.
Occasions arise for its use almost ereiy day.
All druggists and dealers have it.
JJJkAAA4f
HENRY BOECK
The Leading
FURNITURE DEALER
A N D
Startling Facts.
The American people are rapidly
becoming' a rase of nervous wrecks
and the followtn; sujrifests, the
best remed3': alphouso Huiiipflinf,
of Butler, Penn, swears that when
his son was spechless from st. Vitus
Dance Dr Miles erreat Restorative
Nervinjr cured him. Irs. J. L,.
Miller of Valprai and. J. D. Taolnr,
of Logransport, Ind each gained 20
pounds if an taking1 it. Mrs. H. A.
Gardner, of Vastulr Ind, was cured
of 40 to 50 convulsions easy and
much aeadach, dizzness. bockach
and nerroua prostiatiou by one
bottle. Trial bottle and fine boek of
Xervoiig cures free at F. G. Fricke, &
Co., who recomends this tinequailed
remedy.
For Atchiuson, St. Joseph, Leave-
worth, Kansas City, St. Louis,
and all points north, east
south or west. Tick
ets sold and baf
gage checked
t o a n y
point
iu
the
United
States or
Canada. For
INFORMATION' AS TO RATES
AND ROUTES
Call at Depot or address
H, C. Towxsexd.
G. P. A. St. Louis. Mo.
J. C. Phillippi.
A. G. P. A. Omaha.
H. D. Apoak. Agl.. Plattsmouth.
Telephone, 77.
UNDERTAKR.
Constantly ' keeps on hand everythia
you need to furnish your heuss. -
. - - . 1
COK.VH HIXTH AND MAIN ITIIET
Plattsmouth
Neb
Lumber
Yard
TIMOTHY CLARK.
SALKR IX
COAL WOOD
-o TERMS CASH
Ely's Cream Balm is especially
adapted as a remebv for catarrh
which is aggravated by alkaline
Dust and dry winds. W. -A Hover
Druggist. Denver.
r4 aa OUci -M4 SHt T!r trrt.
Tf ! 13.
THE OLD RELIABLE.
H. L WATEBIIAW &
P LUMBER
1
1
Skiaglea, Ltk, Sak,T
Doors, Blinds
8a aupply everw demaad f the city.
Call sad get tern. Feurtk street
s
1
