- 2.3
Who Shall be President?
Is it Harrison?
Is it Blaine?
OR IS THERE ANY OTHER I1AN YOU WANT FOR PRESIDENT OF
THE UNITED STATES?
NAME YOUR CHOICE !
FARM
Blaine, McKinley, G
orman, Boies, Rusk,
Wanamaker. lhese
portraits are in
themsel ves beau t i f ul
works of art, really
splendid pictures,
This space Is occupied
with engraved portraits of either
HARRISON. CLEVELAND.
BLAINE, HILL, CRISP.
WANAMAKER. McKINLEY.
GORMAN. RUSK, BOIES.
Whichever you may select.
no.
JOURNAL
JANUARY
as fine as any steel
engraving, and in
no way an adver
tisement. They will
be an ornament to
J M T W T F S
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lOll 1213141516
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31
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CWdreo Cry for Pitcher's Cartorltv.
Wbea Beby was sick, we gave her Castoria.
Wbea she was A Child, she cried for Csstorl
When she became Xls. h- cJur to Cattor,
"'nenshehadChil '-n s?it ;v tli"m Cuj oria
TSW' kTOL
loae sJeree
A Bttidjr In Synonyms.
I was asked by my sweetheart to mizzle, to
budge.
To cut sticks, to make tracks, and to tramp.
To evaporate, to paddle, and trudge.
To vamoose, disappear, and decamp.
I was fiercely requested the double to tip.
And the twig lu at winkle to bop.
And to gallop my rage, and my cable to slip.
To abscond, and to vanish kerllop.
I waft ordered to slope and to seek a fresh
lodjfK,
To avaunt, to pack off. and to start.
To aliHiiutulHta, Hiiattl.iK'rHrriliilate, dodge.
To divergo, deliquesce, and depart.
I wa orvi to make beef, and to speel, and
to guy.
Ac my rnahoiranii's slick.
Ami ( lit; it, and book it, and stop it, and
ti .
Yes, to pike, elimr, and trot double quick.
I was pressed to embark, to woisrh anchor, to
.'l!f!c.
To w itlidraw, to move forward, to flit.
To ascend ulkcr's ' bus, MiunUs' pony to
To aroj ut mo, to quit, ami to git.
I was bidden to clear, and to sheer, and to
But I answered, with lienrt beating low,
'1 II In M.iti.ilir u . f, .-. r-f i, ' ! . ill., .r- i.iV ill
I will merely, and mournfully, go."
Imdoii Fun.
SA3FS STRATEGY.
Farmer Kemlrick had brought in an
armful of snow-covered lo;s from the
woodpile at the north end oi the house,
throwing them down on the stone
hearth" with a noise like a small earth
iiuake, when Carrie Hrown started up.
"Five o'clock! Oh. I had no idea it
was so late. I must be going home
"Allow ine to accompany you. Miss
Brown.
"You will let me see you home,
Carrie?"
(.'apt. Lo''sn and Fred Jones both
spoke at once, but Carrie shook her
head.
"I prefer to walk alone," she said,
eravlv.
"About the sleighing party to-mor
row night? said t red, anxiously.
"1 I have Mt!f promised Capt. Lo
gan," said th village beauty, a rosy
tint sutliifing her cheek.
"But, Carrie, I thought it was set
tled between you and me two weeks
ago!' exclaimed bred, with a frown.
"Was it? I'm sure I had forgotten
it."
Fred was silent. Capt. Logan's
smooth, soft-toned voice broke the si
lence.
"I exact no promises," he said, gal
lantly, "but if I am not punctual to
the hour and the spot Miss Brown may
draw her own conclusions."
And Carrie went home.
fcihe was very pretty, this bright-
eyed, Kew England damsel, bred
Jones had loved her ever since they
were children together, and Capt. Lo
gan, who had come down to spend the
Christmas holidays with his cousins.
the Kendricks, had become so fond of
those bright, blue eyes and golden
hair that he had prolonged his visit in
to January.
"Pon my word, she's a regular
beauty," said the captain, staring
through the liny window-panes at the
retreatir.g fnrure of Miss Brown.
Fred Jones looked quickly up at
him, as if he would have liked to
knocked him over into the fireplace,
but he refrained from any such dem
onstration. "A beauty," went on the captain,
"and it's a thousand pities she should
be wasted on any of the country
bumpkins who vegetate among these
wildernesses. Sam, you 3'ouhg vil
lain, are those boots of mine blacked
yet?"
Farmer Kendrick's hired boy, whe
had just'eome in to warm his purple
hands at the merry red blaze, looked
glum.
"No, thev ain't," said Sam, crossly.
"Well, w'hat's the reason?"
"'Cause I ain't 'ad time."
"See you find time, then, and that
quick, too," said the captain. And
Sam glowered after him as he went
gayly up the stairs.
"Just wish I had the firin' of him
out," said the boy, gloomily. "It's
Sam do this,' and Sam do that, and
Sam, where's the warm water?' and
Sam, what the deuce do you mean by
lettin' my fire go out?' and not a red
cent has he guv me yet no, nor so
much as a pleasant word. I wonder if
he means to stay here always."
"You and I are about equal in our
love of him, Sam," said Fred Jones,
laughing.
"I heerd him talkin' with Miss Car
rie about goin' sleigh-ridin' to-morrow
night," said Sam shrewdly. "I'd jes'
like to put 'KickingTom' in the shafts;
I would if it weren't for Miss Carrie.
He don't know nothin' about horses,
that there militia cap'n don't." And
Sam chuckled.
"I say.Mr. Jones," he resumed,awhy
don't you get beforehand with him?
Miss Carrie don't really care for him;
she's only dazzled like."
Fred Jones frowned slightly; honest
Sam was not exactly the kind of Gany
mede he cared to have meddle with
his love affairs.
"Miss Brown must choose for her
self, Sam," he said, and Sam went
back to hia work, secretly wondering
how a young lady; gifted with ordi
nary sense, could hesitate for a mo
ment between the captain and Fred
Jones.
The next night came a perfect
night for sleighing expeditions and
rustic love-muking, the roads hard and
well packed and a glorious moon shin
ing down whitely, as if a rain of silver
were deluging the whole world.
"Couldn't be better weather," said
the captain. "Sam, where are the
sleigh-bells?"
"Dunno," said Sam. "There's them
old jinglers in the garret that used to
belong to Deacon Joe Kendrick that
was in the revolutionary war, and
there's the two cow-bells that Mary
Jane might scour op with ashes
"Pshaw!" said the captain. "Do you
take me for Rip Van Winkle? There's
a pretty little string somewhere, for I
saw them when Mrs.. Kendrick went
out day before yesterday."
"I hain't seen nothin' cm 'em," said
Sam, stolidly.
"Come, come, Sam, don't make your
ielf out any stupider than you- be by
nature," said the farmer, laughing
nevertheless, for. the captain's airs
were fast wearing out his welcome,
and he secretly sympathized with the
much-abused Sam.
"I guess they're out in the barn
captain. If you expect to nnd 'era our
Sam's dreadful thick-headed when he
chooses to be."
"Come along, my fine fellow," said
the captain, collaring Sam and march
ing him off in the direction of the old
red barn. "We don't need any lantern
in this moonlight, that is one com
fort." "Where are the stairs?" demanded
the captain, as they entered the barn.
"Ain t none, said Sam. "It s a lad
der." "Up with you, then," said Logan,
but Sam shrunk back.
"I wouldn't, not for ?-r)0," said Sam.
"Old John Kendrick hanged himself
from the middle beam fourteen years
ago, and folks say he stands up there
with a rope round his neck every
moonlight night."
"StulT and nonsense!" cried the cap
tain, in accents of contempt. "You
cowardly lout, stay where you are,
then, and I'll go myself."
He sprung lightly up the rounds of
the ladder aim disappeared through
the trap door.
"Where is it?" he called.
"The ghost? Right under t lie mid
die beam by the windy was the place
where "
"Blockhead! I mean the string of
bells."
"Look for 'em yourself," said Sam,
sulkily. "I don't know where they be,
and, what's more, I dou't care."
"I'll settle with you, my line fellow,
when I come down," said the captain,
threateningly, as he grop:-d about in
the dim light which came through a
cobweb-draped window at either end
of the barn chamber.
"Don't hurry vmNi lf, cap'n," re
joined Sam, in a jeering tone.
As the captain plunged into a dark
corner there was a jingle, and the
string of bells, suspended from a nail,
hit him directly on the neck, so like
the grasp of death-cold fingers that he
could not but start.
"Oh!" said the captain, nervously.
"Here they are. Catch 'em. Sain!
Hal-lo! Where's the trap door?"
And it took the worthy captain fully
sixty seconds or more to realize that
the trajwloor was closed and fastened
on the lower side. He rushed to tho
window and threw it up only to see
Sam speeding up the hill.
"Hal-lo-o-a!" yelled Capt. Logan.
"Come back, you scoundrel! You ill
conditioned lout! You imp of evil!"
Sam turned around and executed
that peculiar gyration of the fingers in
connection with the nasal organ which
is supposed to express the extremity
of scorn.
"You'll find the ladder on the barn
floor, cap'n," hooted this young rebel,
"an' don't be afraid o' the ghost; it's
very harmless if you let it alone."
"But, Sam Sam, come back! I'm
to be at Mr. Brown's at 7:30."
"Don't worry!" bawled Sam. "Miss
Carrie won't wait long afore Mr.
Fred'll be on hand."
The captain danced up and down on
the floor in an ecstasy of rage as Sam
disappeared over the crest of the hill.
He knew very well if he possessed the
lungs of Boreas he could make no one
hear.
He sat shivering down on the hay,
starting nervously at the sound of
horses' feet below, and thinking how
disagreeably a bar of moonlight, which
streamed down from a crack in the
roof, resembled a tall, white figure
standing under the center beam. He
could almost fancy the rope round its
neck. Pshaw! And the captain jumped
up again, with starting dew on his
temples, even in the freezing atmos
phere of the barn chamber.
"What is to be done?" he asked him
self. And echo, if echo had had any
common sense, would have answered:
"Just nothing at all!"
Sam had outwitted him. And pretty
Carrie, and Fred Jones, with his red
cutter and great chestnut-colored
horse! The captain was wild at the
thought; surely he was vanquished.
"I won't wait another minute for
him," said Carrie Brown, coloring up,
with the tears in her blue eyes. "Go
on, girls, I shall spend the evening at
home."
"There's plenty of room for you in
our sleigh, Carrie," coaxed her brother.
"Bessie Andrews will be glad to have
you along."
".No, she won t, either, pouted Car
rie. "As it l would spoil an ner iun:
No; if I can't have an escort of my
own I'll stay at home and mend stock
ings; and 1 never, never will speak, to
Capt. Logan again."
Charlie Brown was on the point of
arguing the matter with his sister,
when the door opened and in walked
Fred Jones.
"Not gone yet, Carrie? Where is
the captain?"
"I don t know," said Carrie, tartlv.
"and I don't care. Am I Capt. Logau's
keeper?"
"Will you go with me?"
"Yes. I will." said Carrie, her eves
lighting and shy smiles dimpling her
face.
"Of course," said Fred, "I can't ex
pect to make myself as agreeable as
the city captain, but "
"Ihe captain, the captain!" cried
Carrie, a little irritably. "I'm sick of
the sound of his name. I never want
to see him again. W'hat a nice new
cutter this is, and how easy the wolf
robes are!"
"Carrie," whispered Fred, as he
touched up the horse and felt her nest
ling close to him, "is it for always?"
"Yes, always, she answered.
e
"Jerusalem!" said Farmer Kendrick.
It was past 10 o'clock at night, and the
old gentlemnn had come out as usual
before retiring to rest, to see that the
dumb members of his family were all
safe and comfortable. "I do believe
that's old John Kendrick's ghost come
to life again, poundin' like all pos
sessed on the barn chamber floor!"
"It's me-e! It's me-e!" bawled the
captain. "Unfasten the trap door and
let me out!"
Slowly the farmer lifted the ladder
to its place. With rheumatic awk
wardness he climbed the ' creaking
rounds and undid the hook from . its
hasp.
"How in all creation came you here?"
he demanded. "Why, I thought you
was out a-sleighridin' with the gals."
"It was all the doing of that villain,
Sam!" rasped 'the infuriated captain.
his teeth chattenne with mine-led rae
j tning. i-h icave tne place to-morrow.-
"As you please," said the farmer, to
whom the nrocpeCt of loslnir his euest
was not unpleasant. "I'm dreadful
sorry this should have happened,
though, and I'll talk seriously to Sam."
"So will I," gnashed tho captain.
"I'll break every bone in his body."
But Sam had takeu particular care
to go over to his grand mother's, six
miles across the snowy fields, to spend
the uight.uud the only person the cap
tain saw was old Mrs. Kendrick bitting
by the kitchen tire.
"You've lost your chnnoo, captain,"
said shrt, gooi!-hu:iioredly. "Dorcas
Smith lias just gone by on her way
home from t lie sleighing parly, and
she says Fred Jones brought Carrie
Brown in his new cutter, ami they're
engaged."
The captain loft next day. and Mrs.
Fred Jones lias never seen him since.
And when the affair came off Sam got
a piece of wedding cake big enough to
give hi ni the dpi"psia for a week.
Hoztoii A'fvx.
LOVE CROWN COLD AND DICTATED.
A 1'erlidtouH Man's Kxprdfi-nt to Cause
the ItrcukliiK of an KiiKU.K'm-iit.
The typewriter girl in the Kiehelieu
looked up from her machine yesterday
afternoon and remarked to the h-rubCs
hotel lounger:
"I have been playing a very impor
tant part in a very interesting rom
ance." "Oh, you have?"
"Yes,I have."
"What's it about?"
"Love, of course. What do you sujv
pose!"
"And were you one of the princi
pals?" "Well -yes. I think I did the most
important part. You see there were
'four of us "
"Double wedding?"
"No, not a double wedding there
isn't any wedding yet. Wait. There
were four of us three girls and one
young man. The young man lives
here at the Kiehelieu. lie hasn't been
in the city long. He came here from
a certain town in Connecticut whose
name I won't mention. He is a nice
young man and very wealthy, or at
least his family back in Connecticut
is wealthy. When he came here lie
was engaged to a young lady in his
own home. But he didn't love her.
He didn't love any one until he came
here "
"And met y "
"Wait a minute! This engagement
was one of those family affairs ar
ranged by the parents of the young
folks you know how such things go
played together as babies, romped as
children, went to school together,
fathers old chums, mothers old school
mates, both families wealthy, and so
the young couple become engaged.
You know how such things go."
"Oh, yes."
"Well, as I say, this young man
didn't love her. After he came here
they corresponded. Then the young
man met his ideal here in Chicago.and
fell in love with her. You can im
agine in what a quandary he wa
planed already engaged, and then to
fall in love. Finally he hit upon a way
to break off his engagement, and to do
it honorably. He came to me and
dictated a letter to her just r.n ordin
ary love letter just as he had been
writting to her, I presume. It was
hard work and nearly exhausted and
quite enervated me, but I finished it
and marked it 'dictated' and he signed
his name, and it was posted off to the
poor girl down in Connecticut. In a
few days he came back again and
said: 'That wouldn't work. She just
scolded that's all.' So he dictated
another on the same sort. Now, you
know no girl could endure two dictat
ed typewritten love letters, and so she,
being insulted, broke the engagement.
And now he is free to marry the girl
he loves."
"Which is "
"A young lady way down the boule
vard here. This is the third girl in
the affair.you see. And now the story
having reached Connecticut, her fam
ily is furious, and his, I hear, refuse
to give him any money whatever."
REMEMBERED BY GRANT.
A Former Act of ISraverjr Saves a Negro
from I'uiii.tlimeii t.
John Johnson, better known as
"Bomb-proof," a demented but per
fectly harmless negro, is dead, says
the N. Y. Times. He was well known
in Grand Arm circles and had lived
by the charities of Grand Army men
for the last twenty years.
Johnson received his queer sobri
quet, "Bomb-proof," from General
Grant. When the union troops were
making their approach toward Rich
mond artillery duels between the con
federate stronghold. Fort Darling, and
the United States batteries at Harrison's
Landing were of frequent occurence.
It was not often that the confederates
shells did any harm but one day a
"screamer" fell among a number of
officers who were seated before their
tents. John Johnson, then an intelli
gent young contraband and the ser
vant of one of these officers, was
present. The shell rolled directly to
his feet.
Each one did his best to get away
from the neighborhood of the unwel
come visitor, except Johnson. He
stooped and attempted to roll the shell
toward the embankment, intending to
hurl it over into the ditch, but before
he could carry out his purpose it ex
ploded. The officers hastened back to where
the brave fellow had fallen, expecting
to lind him dead. He was merely
stunned, however, and bore not the
slightest sign of having been wounded,
but after he had recovered it was seen
tha't the shock in some way had affect
ed his mind, although not enough to
make him unfitv'or duty.
Some time after this occurrence
Johnson was court-martialed for some
thing he had done and found guilty.
The verdict of the court was sent to
Generat Grant for his approval. The
general, who knew of the shell inci
dent, sent the verdict back with thia
indorsement:
"Not approved. 'Bomb-proofs' aref
not responsible."