TABLE-
1
in Nebraska,
LINK
PKKHHTRAINH GaIKO
W KT.
No. 1. No. 3.
Hut turnout h .... :00 a in USSpm
reaolls :am 7:15 m
Coucoru :.' a in 7 :?h p in
Cedar Creek.... U:4nam 7; p in
LouUville !0:(liiin 7 :J p ni
hoiilh lleud 10 a in 8 :10 p in
asblaud 10 :47 a lit it Ml P
Ureenwood 11:05am 8 :45 p ui
I.lnooln... r. 1 1 :.V p m A r. 9::p m
il. ve :2 :.W p Hi L've 10 :I5 p in
Mattings Ur. :25pi:iAr. 3:15 am
II. ie t ::pnI.'ve 3:30 am
Red Cloud . 3 :.' p niiAr. 6 :.'to a in
I. , b h :J in l.'re 8 a a in
MrCook 'A'. .) .KJ wlAr. l'i:06pln
il. .'a ) io j in lve 12:25m
Akron IA I loamjAr. c :35 p in
I-1. ' a ir.i lve 6 on p in
Denver . oiaiiiUr. lu :or p in
kl'i.r.grl TIHINH J01
fcAHT.
STATIONS :
So. i.
No. 4.
I'liittwluoulll....
Oreapoli
Concord
Cedar Creek...
l.oui-iYtlle ,
Sou til llcild
AaliUnd
ii A
j.jr ti -.lit in
4 :! 1' in
4 ::! in
4 :22 p in
4 :! p 111
3 :55 p 111
3 :3j p Ui
Ar.
AT.
Ar,
Ar.
Ar.
Ar.
Ar.
:0u a in
h a in
8 :.V a in
8 :25 a III
h :i7 a in
K :i'5 a in
7 :lt) a in
Vl
Greenwood .
LbuoTt. . ..
Hastings....
Ued Cloud..
f.I.-flook
Akron
3 :15 p in
Ar. 7 :34 a m
.r.
1
2 :00 p in
Ar.
L've
Ar.
L've
Ar.
L've
Ar.
L've
Ar.
L've
L've
3 :30 a in
7 :K) a in
10 :15 p in
10 -.30 p m
6 -JA p in
7 :-" p m
3 -00 p in
3 :'-0 p in
10 -SA a ei
I 2 :'Z5 p 111
r.
U :60 a. in
lve 10 -.10 am
r. H :) a in
L.'vt 8 :U5 a m
A r. :i ;f6 a m
l.'ve 4 .OCam
at. 10 :45 p in
lve 'u :w p m
11 :05 a n:
Denvt
L.' 1 :U3 p ni
7 ;35 a r.i
Trains 3 and 4. numbeninx 39 and 40 west of
Rod Cloud, run daily except Sunday.
K. C. ST. JOE & C B. R. R.
STATIONS: 'xkrk.sthains ;oino
Plaltmiouth I 4 :80 a m 5 :6S p m
Oreapolls 5 :03 a m 6:07 p oi
La Hatte 1 6:11am :11pm
lltllev ue 6 a m 6 -M p n
Omaha 6 :K) a m 'tpm
STATIONS : """"aoS e0,Ka
I'lattsmouth 9 201 ni 8 :I0 p n
Oreapolis 9 :10 a in 8 -.no p m
La I'latte I 9 :00 a ni 7 :55 p ro
belle vue 8 :47 a in 7 :42 p m
Oman a 8 :2b a in 7 :20 p m
TIME TADLE
Missouri Pacific Ilailroad.
Express Express Freigui
leaves leaves leaves
golnit golnjc going
fUCTH. SOUTH. SOUTH.
Omaha- 7.40 p.m 8.00 .m. 12.50 a. m.
rapillion 8.17 " 8,37 " 2,o p. n..
Springfield 8.42 " 9.00 3.0.5 "
Louisville 8.59 " 9.15 " 3.M
Weepies Water. 9.24 " 9.40 6.00
Avoca 9.37 " 9.83 " 6.45 "
Dunbar 10.07 10.21 " 6.45 "
Kansas City 6.37 a.m 7.07 p.m.
St. Loads P-P 622 a.m.
Goiug Going Ooing
Vl KOUTU. NOBTU. NOKIU.
t. Louis .. 8 52a.ni 8.32 p.m.
vaiisiu. City 8.34 p. ni 7.57 a.m.
)iinbar. 5.10 a.m 4.24 p.m. 1.01 p. m.
avoca. 5.45 .S4 " 2.10 "
Weeping Water. ;.oa 6.08 " 2.45 "
I)Ui;-Vl!l' 6 3.' " 6.33 " 3.50 "
2tr.u:U-:U 1.5! " 5.4H " 4.25 "
Ull.ion. V.M " fc.l 5.25
Omaha, arrive, t.p,) ' 6.65 7.06 "
The above Is JeSersou City time, which is "4
nil uu ted faster than Omaha lime.
KlilVAIj A'l) OEPAKTUBE
1-liATTSlKirTH SIAILM.
OK
iRRITF.S,
DI PARTS.
I 9.00 a. in.
I 3.00 p. m.
J 8.00 a. ra.
9.
EA8TESX.
9.
6.
WE3TXKN.
XOBTBKBN.
OCTHKKM.
OMAHA.
WEEPIXO WATER,
1 6.6S p. 1
4.25 p.
u.ooam
T.54 p. m.
9.00 a. m
j 8.26 a. m.
4.26 p. in.
8.00 a. m
1.00 p. m
io-oO a ni,
I.M p. m.
4.00 p. m.
11.00 a m.
FACTORY VILLX.
Dec. 17. 1881.
KATKM C'HAKUXD FOH
URUEBN.
():i orders not exceeding $15 - -
10 cents
15 eeats
Overi5acii not exceeding $30-
. 40 - - 20 cents
$ " 5 - - cents
A rinTd Monev Order mav utciuue on
amount from one cent to fifty dollars, bnt
must not contain a lracUonal part of a eent.
KATEs FOR POSTAGE.
Int class matter (letters) 3 cents per V4 ounce.
2d " (Publisher's rates) 2 cu per lb.
id " " (TransKint fiewspvoers and
books come uuler this class) 1 cent per
eacn 2 ounces,
all class (uiergliaDdiee) 1 cent per ounce.
J. W. MAR8HA1X P.M.
OFFICIAL DIRECTORY.
C1TV DIRECTORT.
GEORGE S.SMITH. Mayor.
WILLIAM H.CUSHLNG, Treasurer.
J. 1. SIMPSON. City Clerk.
WILLfcTT POTTENGER, Police Judee.
K. B. WINDHAM. City Attorney.
P. K. M UK PHY, Chief of Police.
P. McCANN, Overseer of Streets.
C. KOIHNKE. Chief of Fire Dept.
W. U. SCU1LDKXECUT. Ch'a board of Health
COUKCII.MEK.
1st Ward Wm . Herold. 11. M. Bons,
2nd Ward J. M. Patterson, J. U, Fairfield.
3rd Ward M. B. Murphy, J. E. Morrison.
4th Ward F. D. Lehbholt, P. McCallan.
SCHOOL, BOARD.
JESSE C. STRODE. J. W. BARNES.
M. A. HA RTIGAN Wm. WINTKRSTEEJf.
L, JJ. br.mm.TT, V. V. Lr-OJi AKD, .
r-JNO. W. MARSHALL.
COCXTT DIRECTORT.
W. II. N E WELL, County 1 reasurer.
J.W. JKNN1NGS, County Clerk.
J. W. J 1HNSON. County Judge.
R. W. HYERS. Sherlfl.
CYRUS ALTON, Sup't of Pub. Instruction.
G. W. FAIRF1KLD. County Surveyor.
P. P. GASS, Coroner.
COUNT COMMISSIONERS.
JAMES CRAWFORD. South Bend Precinct.
BaMX RICHARDSON. Mt. Pleasant Precinct.
A. B. TODD. Plattsmouth
Parties having business with the County
iximmtMloners, win nnd them in session the
First Monday and Tuesday of each month,
o
BOARD Or TRADE.
FRANK CARRUTH. President.
J. A. CONNOR, HENRY B&CK. Vlce-Presl-
oents.
WM. , WISE. Secretary.
FRED. GORDER. Treasurer.
Regular meetings of the Board at the Court
House.tUe first Tuesday evening of each month.
J. F. B AU HEIST ER
Furnishes Frenb, Pure Milk
DELIVERED DAILY,
Special calls attended to, and Fresh Milk
from same " furnished when wanted.' ' i 4lv
PLATTSMOUTH MILLS.
CiPLATTSMODTH NEB. '
C. II E IS EL,
Proprietor.
- FiuttrCorrifeat & Feud , . (
ami hand and for sale at lowest cash
.The highest prices paid for Wi
I I ilitUll IMLl,kli ttltti
ov p. ui. I
30 a. m. I
00 a. m. I
00 p. m. I
riattMnionth Telephone Exchange.
1 J. P. Young, resldouce.
2 Kinnptt K Lew is, store.
3 M. B. Murphy & Co., "
4 Rouner .Stables.
6 County Clerk's fflue.
6 E. B. Lewis, residence.
7 J. V. Weekbach, stre.
8 Western Union Telenrapli oillce.
9 I. IL Wheeler, residence.
0 I. A. Catiiiibell,
4 K. B. WlnJliaiii, "
5 .Ino. Wayrnaii. "
J. W. .leiminirs. "
7 W. S. Wise, ofllee.
Morrlsney Bros,, offlce.
!l W. K. Carter, itore.
H G. W. Fairneld.rei-ldence.
1 M. B Murphy,
a I . H. Wheeler Si Co . o.Tr e.
:i J. P. Taylor, residence.
!4 First National Bank.
Ji P. K. KnllnerN oftlce.
: J. P. Yoiin, store.
'A Perkins llou.se.
ii K. W. H V'Ti. reoldt-nce.
il .loiirna) olllce.
15 Fall Held V ice odire.
it J I i-K.ii.i Pi: it. Co oll.ee.
l ,. '. Wise, residence.
m; S. M. Cliapni.tu.
17 W. I), lones. "
A. N. ftullivan, "
l II. K. Pallnei,
!) W. II. S:iiii:klitc)lt, odlce.
11 hullivu'i &. 'A oo.ey,
12 A. W. M'ji.:tii.;liliu. residence,
in ,. laiiei-.uiu. iivery.
11 M. ii .liiie, "
lr L. 1. Bei.iie' .residei-ce.
! 1,(111. 1 OH. I'1 , OflitlM.
17 L. A .Moon-, "lor .t.
I .1, W. U.iriie.s. rccioeiice.
o U.K. Livi'iLon. oliice.
t I. '. W eri! m-'li, reiili-nce.
16 l liitj iai. Wr'tjlii. '
mi W. 11. ;iii .li.necLt "
ii; o. s sn.ii i ,
!l It. H VII"."' oil. "
11 C C i..nialt ,
Pi?CFiS5IOfJAL CARDS.
ATTORNEYS AT LAW.
the Court in the state,
tional Bank.
I'LATTSMOUTII
W'.'l practice in all
Ofllee over Firct Na
4yl NKBRAhKA.
OU. A, NALISBI KI ,
fflee over Smith, Black ft Co's. Drug Store.
First class dentistry at reasonable prices, 231y
II. 3SKA 91. !..
PHYSICIAN and SURGEON. Offlce on Main
Street, between Sixth and Movent h. south side
uuice open a ay and oignt
county i-hybician.
Special attentioc given to diseases of women
anu cniiiirea. -jiti
M. O'TJONOHOE
ATTORNEY AT LAW ft NOTARY PUBLIC.
Fitzgerald's. Block.
. PLATToMOUTH. - NEBRASKA.
Agent for Steamship lines to and from Europe.
dl2w52ly
R. K. UTISSNTUX, M.
PHYSICIAN ft SURGEON.
OFFI E HOURS, from 10 a. m.. to 2 n
Examini-.g Surgeon for U. S. Pension.
fn.
1B. . 3HLLKB,
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON,
Can be found by calling at his office, corner 7th
ana aiain ireets, in j. ii. waterman's house.
rLATTSMOUTH. NEBRASKA.
JAH. H. 1IATUKWH
ATTORNEY AT LAW.
oruce over Baker ft Atwood's store, south side
oi main Between otn and 6th streets. 21tf
J. n. HTBOUE.
ATTORNEY AT LAW. Will lractie In all
iue courts iu tne state.
District Attorney and A'otarv Public.
COLLECTION'S & HflCCIHLI 1.
ATTORNEY AT LAW. Real Estate. Klr in.
surauce and Collection Agency. OiUce Union
uiix.-ii, j IUU3IUUUUI meoiiWiia. 22in3
l. II. 1VRKKI.KK A CO.
LAW OFFICE. Real iCtire. Fire ! I.lf-Tn.
Buntnce agents, i iattsmoutn, JNebraska. Col
lociois, i j.x -payers. Have a complete abstract
Of titles. iu and sell real estate, ueirtfi.-n
:. 151
aou adjoining counties ; gives sj-scui. :ttcntioi
w vvunuuw) nu aostracts oi titie. Uiiice in
riugeraiu wjocR. Pfuttsiiioutli. Nebraska.
17V
J. c dviji:it v.
JUSTICE OF THE PfiAC " .
Has his office In thn frotit
on cmcago Avenue, wliera no -.iay b-ftua-i
rwaumese w attend o th duties oi ti
flCft. :v 4711
A. II.
HELLEK, I'll. V, !. 2
, Graduate in
PHARMACY AND MEOI'JINE.
Oln.:e in Pjrrv dru ' i:...i . n,. i-a.
mil 3 uoube,
BOBKUT ii.
U IXOIIA.!,
Notary Public.
ATTOa.NET AT LAW.
Offlce over Carruth's Jewelry Store.
riaitsmoutu. - Nebraska.
M. A. HARTICA,
L A W Y II
r irzQfBALD d block, pi-attsmouth Nek
PromDt and careful attentii T1 til 1& fr,nul
uaw i rariiee.
A. 2. 5CLLIYAN. K. II. Woot.tcv
SULLIVAN & WOOLEY.
Attorneys and Counselors-
at-Law.
OPFICE-In tie
i ninn ui-ck, front rooms
seo-md -tory, s ut i
all haziness .
i'rompt attention tnven t
mar25
BOYD & LAESEN",
Contractors and Builders.
win give estimktes on all kinds of work. Any
uiurio icii at mo iuinoer xaras or post
Office will receive promct attention.
Heavy Truss Framing,8
' for barns and large bulldtagsaspeelalty.
For reference apply to J. P. Young, J. V. Wee
a or n. a. waterman a son. a&w
G. A. WRS5LSY & GO'S
DEOT lf THE MARKET.
Madc-OmZY&t Vegetable OJ2
ana jf ui-o Seel TaHow.
To Induce housekeepers to give this Soap
a trial. wiTif EACH BAR rm m
T4JI f4 J. r 111 ii
; , This offerf H made tora short time onlr
;ana snpaia, pt taken, advantage of at ONCE.-
vve wAititAJMx mis soap to ao more wash,
lug vith greater ease than any soap in the
market, ill has no EQUAL for Blelmhard
and oo Id water ; ; , ;s
YOyR GBOpER JUS IT I
t?aafaotini of Standard Uunvir?
TOUat Soaps.
"THE PREACHER'S BOY."
James WhJtcomb Riley.
1 recollect the little tad, back years and J
ago
The Preacher's Boy" that every one despised
and hated sol
A meek-faeed little feller, with white eyes
and foxy hair,
And a look like be expected serious trouble
everywhere;
A sort o' fixed expression of suspicion in his
g la lire;
His hare feet always scratched, with brier
and green KKt8 on his pants;
Molassi-s marks along his sleeves, irfl cap-rim
turned Ix'hiii'l
Ami so it is "The 1'reacher's Boy" is brought
again to miud.
My fancy even brings the sly marauder back
t-o plain,
I see him jump our garden fence and slip of!
down tho Jane;
And I s:m to holler at him and git back the
old reply
"Oh, no! your teaches is too green 'for such a
worm a.s I.' "
For he scorned his father's phrases every
iioiv one ne nau
"Ahut-l :xu," folks put it, "as that boy
or nis was ii:
And u. ..u, fi-o-ii their old buggy-shod, I hsar
'tn rri ur'.parei"
That nev 'bi.' . 1 the child," of course, for
wliich noLoay cared I
If any noi'-hboi- ever found his gate without
a laU ii.
Or rin -uiiJ the edges of his watermelon
p.-i i.i.
His pa?tur' bars left open, or his pump spout
choc. 1 vith clay.
llo'd swear 't was "Uiat infernal preacher's
boy. ri-'ht away 1
"When string's was stretched acroet the street
at iiirrlit. aiftl sfime one got
An evi rlarthi' tumble, and his nose broke,
luce as not.
And la.:d it on "The Preacher's Boy" no
powers, low nor nigh.
Could ever quite substantiate that boy's
alibi I
And did nobody like the boy ? Well, all the
iiets in town
would eat out of his fingers, and canaries
would come down
And Irrto their swingin' perches and their
fishbone iist to pick.
The little warty knuckles that the dog would
lean to lick
No little snarlin', raaprjin' fiste but wliat
would leave his bone
To f oiler if whistled in that tantalizin' tone
That made the goods-box wbittler blasphem
ously protest
He couldn t tell, twixt doe and boy, which
one was ornriestl
Twas snch a little cur as this, once, when
the crowd was thick
Alone the streets, a drunken corner-loafer
tried to kick.
When a sudden foot behind him tripped him
up, and. falling; so,
He "marked his man," and jerked his gun
drawed up and let 'er col
And the crowd swarmed round the victim,
holding close against his breast
The little dog, unharmed, in arms that still as
they caressed
Grew rieid in their last embrace, as with a
smile of joy
lie rocotrmzed the- doer was saved. So died
"The Preacher's Boy !"
When it appeared before
- fatal uistol ball
the 'squire, that
Was fired at "a dangerous beast," and
the boy at all.
And the facts set forth established, it
like befittin' then
not
To order out a possy of the "City Council-
men''
To kill the dog! But, strange to tell, they
searched the country round,
And never hide nor hair of that "said" dog
was ever found I
And, somehow, then I sort o thought and
half wav think to-dav
The spirit of "The Preacher's Boy" had
whistled him away.
now the Stage Villain Blew Out the
Candles.
New York Letter.
Let me give you a two-minute sample of
him. He had made up his mind to murder
the rightful heir. It was night, and three
candles were burning on a table. These he
was to extinguish before going into the in
tended victim's bedroom adioinine. A sim
ple matter, say you? Not so. It was marked
for impressiveness. The orchestra played
low and wierdly. The villain, beginning at
a front corner of the stage, made a horribly
wry face, laid his finger on his lips, sent
squirm from his shoulders down his back to
his very heels, and started on tip-toe for the
candles. The distance in a straight line was
no more than twenty feet, bnt by a zigzag
route with side excursions to doors and win
dows, and stop-offs for pantomime, it was
lengthened to a hundred or so. Arriving at
length at his destination, be rested his hands
on the table, and the tremuloasness which he
carefully imparted to that piece of furniture
made it instinct, as to its legs, with the active
life of a jig dancer. This alarmed the vil
lain, as well it might, and be circled round
himself several tames before his equanimity
was restored. Then be blew mightily upon
the nearest candle. That the flame went out
should not have astounned him. And yet it
seemed so, for be recoiled, gasped convul
sively, and regained composure with a strug
gle. The flame of the second candle made no
resistance to his breath; but its extinguish
ment threw him once more into convulnons,
and his face went rapidly through with such
widely varied aspects as to demonstrate his
qualification for sure success as a depicter of
curious countenances. It did not 6eem possi
ble that he had saved power for a climax at
the third candle, but he was too experienced
actor to make a mistake like that. He
approached this final tallow stealthily, step
ping higher on bis toes, curving hie back into
new contortions, and lifting his hands above
the flame as though about to bless rather
than destroy it There was a spell of violent
effort with his mouth, making it look desper
ately rebellious against his purpose, and bent
onblowing in any and every direction save
that of the candle; but it was remorselessly
brought to bear, and the blase was gone. I
have an idea that the villain would have
finally thrown a flip-flap, but that he was i
strained by the roaring laughter of the audi
ence.
Heavy JLejcal Expenses.
New Tork Tribune.
As an illustration of the heavy fees chareed
by lawyers, appraisers and others for closing
up an estate an executor ox tne will or a
wealthy Brooklyn gentleman, who died lately.
states that a searcher in the county clerk's
oince had made a charge ox E3O0 for a mere
transcript of only ten pages of legal cap of
the assets as determined by the appraisers.
i The work occupied half a day of this valuable
penman's time, and required no research or
calculation, and no responsibility was assumed.
Expert engrossers would gladly work for
one-tenth the sum. When remonstrated with
the clerk said "be didnt often ret a job of the
kind, and bad to charge roundly.
The Middle Htate la Thought.
Buckle's History of Civilisation.
An immense majority of men must always
remain m the middle state, neither very fool
ish nor very able, neither very virtuous nor
very vicious, but slumbering on in a peaceful
nd decent mediocrity, adopting without
much difficulty the current opinions of the
day, making no inquiry, exciting no scandal.
musing-ho wonder, Just tK)ldjpg themselves
Dn a level with ' their ' generations and. noise
lessly conforming td the 'standard of morals
and of knowledge ' common to i the age and
couultj in waicn mey live, f f -
ThelSnea Caaal afttewer.
PaU Mallj6asette. .
The Suez Canal, i which has lonr been fa
miliarly described as the1 ditch through the
desert, is now. it seem, in a fair wav of be
coming an open .and stagnant sewer.., The I
stations on tor banks are drained into its wjs-1
.ten. It is never flushed, there is no tide, and
ui scenes la nocqrnMir intolerable. , JUiarrhcna
prevail jtsi board vessels: de
tailed in the canal, and as detentione are'uv
creasirif istunbtsrand daration, the matter
ts laBcomurz senoos. Z2.Xe lesseps must be
stir huwel, or. this nuisance will ' cOnstitdts if
serious addition to the Oonr arrav of counts
in the indictment -aganhis monottom bv
which EThgllsh ship-owners arei proparinr to
support their demand for a second caoaL
ENGLISH PENSIONS.
Annuities That are Perpetual The
Burden of the System, and
the People's Protest.
Youth's Companion.
Prime Minister Gladstone recently pro
posed, in the house of commons, that the two
two principal heroes of the Egyptian war
should receive iensions of 10,000 dollars
a vear each. The pensions were to be
for life, and to descend to the heirs male of
their recipients, and were to ! a reward for
the Egyptian victories. But for the first
time in the history of parliament, the pen
sions were so strongly resisted that the prime
minister withdrew his proposal, and substi
tuted for it one that the rewards should take
the form of a sum of money.
The two men upon whom it was proposed
to confer these pensions were Sir Garnet
"Wolseley, the victor at the decisive lattlo of
Tel-el-KTebir, and Sir Beauchamp Seymour,
the admiral in command of the fleet which
bomlmrded Alexandria.
Both these officers have been created peers
of the realm. Sir Garnet becoming Lord
Wolseley, of Egypt, and Sir B. Seymour,
Lord Alcester.
The fact that the pensions proposed by the
ministry were so strenuously and effectively
opposed, in itself shows that a new era has
dawned in England. The general and the
admiral, who, with far superior forces, both
in numbers and in discipline, defeated a semi-
barliarous and ill-equipped army in Egypt,
received an ample reward in their renown,
their advancement to the honors of heredi
tary peers, and the generous pay allowed to
their advanced rank in the British army.
Already the poeple of England live under a
grevious weight of taxation made necessary
in part by the system of pensions granted to
persons of high station, and often already
possessed of ample means ; and the more ad
vanced members of the bouse of commons
protested against the proposed additional
burden which would have been created had
these pensions been voted.
A list of the persons who now enjoy the an
nual income from the British treasury would
more than exhaust the space occupied by this
article. It would include not only the large
rranta made to the queen and her sons,
daughters and grandchildren; not only the
pensions given to retired army, naval and
civil officers; but the stipends awarded to a
host of other persona for very many and va
rious reasons.
Many of these pensions have been paid for
centuries. The duke of Grafton, for instance,
still receives a pension granted to an ancestor
of 200 years ago and his heirs, simply
because that ancestor was an illegitimate
son of King Charles IL The heirs of William
Perm receive no less than $20,000 a year from
the treasury.
An ex-speaker of the house or com
mons gets 920,000 a year for life, and
an ex-chancellor, (10,000. The widows
of eminent statesmen, like Lords El
gin and Mayo, governors-general of India,
share the bounty of the state to the extent
of S5.000 a year each: while the
servants of Queen Charlotte still get
S600 a year each. The widow of Lord
Cavendish and the sister of Mr. Burke,
who were murdered a year ago in Phoenix
Park, receive each $3,000 a year for life.
Many poor men of letters, artists and mu
sicians are granted, in like manner, incomes
from the same source.
The modern spirit of reform in England is
hostile to this vast and constantly more bur
densome system of pensions; and it is prob
able that the time is not distant when they
will cease to be granted for the purpose cf
maintaining in idleness a large number of
people, from the royal family, great nobles
and generals and high civil officials, down tt
impecunious men of letters and artists who
catch the royal eye.
Belllna- a Hess of Trent and a Secret
for 75 Cents a Pound.
New York Sun.
"Where dv y' get 'emr "Well, I might a
ketched 'em in the Sawkill, or the Raym'skill,
or the Capow. Or I might a yanked 'em out
o' Oorden's mill-pond. I didnt though. But
Pve got 'em."
The Pike county small boy knows that if he
brings in a nice mess of trout before anyone
else has had good luck on any of the streams
be is of as much importance as a circus pro
cession, and that the chief end of man in the
place, for the time being, is to find out
where he caught them. A specimen of him
came into the Crossman bouse, at Milford,
Pa., the other afternoon. He had a basket of
trout and set everybody crazy. Some New
York fishermen were stopping at the hotel,
and the landlord was anxious to find out
for their benefit where the trout had been
captured. Hence bis query as above, and th
extremely satisfactory response of the boy.
"Do you want to sell em!" asked the land
lord.
"Yes, ni sell 'em," said the boy; "but th
price I've set on 'em mebbe wont suit you.
Theyna 60 cents a pound, these Is."
'Ill give you 70 cents a pound, if youll tell
me where you got 'em," said the landlord.
The boy scratched his head. He looked his
trout over, as if he was pondering the ques
tion as to whether or not it wonkl be a good
stroke of business to sell his secret with them.
Finally he said:
Tt Trrrti'll vnAITA IT. G.v.ntv.flv. I'll mi rrtn "
It was a bargain. The trout was weighed,
and the money counted out to the boy.
"Now, then, where d y' catch 'emr' said tbs
landlord.
"I said I'd tell you where I rot 'em." the
small boy replied, as be walked to the door.
"I didnt ketch 'em. I traded six fly-hooks
an' that cnes'nut nsn pole o mine to Jul!
Smith's boy for 'em."
Blla-fctly nixed.
Wall Street News.
The scene is the office of a Denver silver-
mining company. Enter the president,
wearing a puzzled expression of countenance.
Secretary: "Anything new this morning r
President (confidentially): "Say, I was a
little off last night."
Yes."
'And rm a little mixed this morningf Do
we declare a dividend of 20 cents per share
to-day I"
"O no, sir. We declare an assessment of 40
cents per share instead."
'Ah I exactly 1 Well, that's better
great deal better 1 Young man, let my case
be a waminrto you never to touch whisky.
I come mighty near telling old Peters that we j
should declare a dividend f"
The Cast af Spara-eeu's sermona
Philadelphia Press.
We have received many inquiries as to the
cost of reporting and cabling Mr. Spurgeon's
sermons. These inquiries can best be an
swered by riving a copy of the bill, which
lies before us, for cabling the sermon printed
last Monday morning the first of the series
-as follows:
Agent Cincinnati . . Commercial-Gazette,
. Philadelphia ' Press, ' Courier-Journal,
'etc , to Western Union-Telegraph conv
- pany, Dr. , ,
May 80; To &v words by cable at 12c.
$627.87.;- ,,-. - ..ii ;. ' '
The -eost of cabling the first sermon, 'af
thus appears, was $627, 3T, It consisted oi
.8,018 words; the regular commercial rate foi
' ' ' lit'' H-i.l
eabling is 50 cents a word, and the aewscaner
rate .or., night,, service, ' cents. The
cable tolls, are,, shared .by four or
five "leadine" naoers 'in ' 'different tvirt
of the country, like The Cincinnati Gazette.!
.The Boston Herald. The Chicago Inter Ocean, J
and, The ' Lodisvifle Cburier-JonnaaJ. ' whih
fcave' united In the enterprise.' and besides its
share of ' the cable 'tolls,' each paper has to
paytbe cost of telegraphing the sermon from
New Tork e' HS' place' of publication.'' The
telerraphed from New York to
the-Vreet overffivS wirei and in an. incredibly
shapaof rMmal Altogetaer it. makes an
(raxpensiya picas of enterprise, but the interest
nas awakened is a full compensation, and
the spirit of modem journalism rtmn
soch efforts. . .
13 bweehAbts Airo.wiv'rs.a
The Speech af Charles Dadley War.
er at the Army of the JTetei
lteanlen. ...
At the Army of the Potomac reunion
Washington, Charles Dudley Warner, in
ponding to the toast, "Sweethearts
Wives," spoke in part as follows:
This is an excellent and venerable toast. X
have no doubt it could be found deposited un
der the foundation stone of one of the oldest
existing monuments in the world that to
Washington, over yonder. It is old, liut it
will be new and fresh long after the Wash
ington monument is finiahed. It is one of the
most ingenious sentiments ever devised by
evasive man. Its origin is lost in the mixta
of antiquity, but it was no doubt concocted
before latch-keys were invented. "Sweet
hearts and Wives." Is that "and" a con
junctive or disjunctive conjunction? It suits
both. It suite the convivial hour of the ban
quet, and it will pass muster under domestic
inspection, at any hour of the morning. It
may mean, for the worldly moment, that
there are sweethearts and there are also
wives, and it may mean, when it must, in
the hour when an account has to be given of
the deeds done here in the banquet, that
sweethearts and wives are the same persons.
It is an honored toast, being usually kept,
like good wine, till the last.
It is not necessary, in the presence of the
Army of the Potomac, that I should appear
as the eulogist of woman. She is indeed be
ginning to speak for herself, and I am expect
ing the day when she will begin to speak for
us, when she will do man some slight justice
for the little part he has played in history.
She knowB all about it; she reads him like the
alphabet. She knows just when he has been
false and when true, when his bravery was
genuine, and when it was from the fear of
being called a coward, when ho has been a
pretender, and when he has been a hypocrite,
when he has been so loyal that she could wor
ship him without a Cutter of reservation, and
love him without a Mush; she has studied
him, and kept all lhee things in her heart.
She has shed tears enough over him to wash
away all his sins to Coat him into boaven,
if he could go there by water. She has flat
tered h'm till his head touched the stars. She
has strengthened his heart, and sent him out
into the world with a shield and the injunc
tion not to return without it, unless he was
borne upon it. She is always willing to hold
out a light, by which he can swim across the
river to her, and her smile is always worth
the swim. She is always ready to pray him
out of any mischief she has enticed him into.
She will make a man of him if anything in
this world can. Her constancy is a proverb;
she Is the one thing that is never twice the
same, and that never changes ; the object that
man can confidently tie to. She is our na
tional motto personified infinite variety in
unity. What she was yesterday she will not
be to-morrow, and she was not the day be
fore; she is everlastingly the same.
What she was to the soldier of the Army of
the Potomac I need not say, whether she re
mained at home to sew for hiin and pray for
him, er followed him afield with lint and
bandages, or went about invhospitals in the
garb of a saint with the smile of an angel,
the picture of self-sacrifice, to "kiss him for
his mother." How her patriotism and genius
for organization shone out in that great army
she created, second only in importance to the
army in the field, which cared for the wounded
and sick. When you are balancing in your
mind the cost of a spring bonnet and 10,000
regalias, remember that it was American
women who devised and executed the great
est alleviation ever known for the miseries ef
war. Did she make any less sacrifice than
you, patient in her lonely home, keeping up
her courage and yours! I need not say how
you thought of her constancy and ef her
pride in you, and your desire to play the man
partly for her sake sweetheart or wife-
heartened and refined you. You thought
last at night and first in the morning that she
was thinking of you, and the thought that
she would weep with joy in your victory was
the sweetest thing in it. God bless her! hew
she stood by you, and was proud of you, and
loved you. Oh, faithful heart, what is there
in life so sweet 1
But I am not here to praise woman or the
army ox the Potomac; only to give you.
'sweethearts and wives" a sweetheart is
good; a wife is better; best of all is, sweet
heart and wife in one person.
What made Luke Blaekbarn Oreat.
St. Louis Republican.
It is a well-known fact that Gov. Black
burn, of Kentucky, is very proud of his
namesake, and whenever he goes to Nashville
he goes out to Belle Meade and admires him,
In this connection, the following story is told
of the governor: While conversing with some
admirers of horseflesh, the governor was di
lating extensively upon, the magnificent
qualities of his great namesake, when Sena
tor Beck, of Kentucky, interrupted him and
said: "Stop, governor; don't you think 'a
rose by any other nameT " and before he
could complete the quotation the governor
excitedly exclaimed: "By the gods, no, sir! I
well remember, sir, a few years ago, a horse
of unusual promise made his appearance on
the American turf, and they named him Joe
Blackburn, and he was tried and found want
ing. Soon afterward, sir, up in our blue-
grass state, there wu found a horse in mold
and muscle a perfect equine prodigy, the ad
miration of all horsemen, and they named
him Jim Beck, and what became of him?
Why, sir, he failed to answer the first call
made on him, and he disappeared. At last
they found a S-year-old, undeveloped, un
gainly horse, a dwarf in height and muscle,
and they named him Luke Blackburn, and
aow, sir, you behold the king of the Amer
ican turf."
Pnek's Yarns.
Detroit Free Press.
Pock wants us to believe that an Ohio mule
has been born with an artificial set of teeth
and four shoes en; that in the stomach of a
dead Texas ostrich was found a napkin neat
ly rolled in a napkin ring, though the ostrich
swallowed them separately, and that a man
at Oshkosh, having- come back from a twenty
years' wandering, found not only the $5 gold
piece he hid under the wall, but three other
gold dollars which constituted the compound
interest at 6 per osnt. Some of these stories
are too probable not to be true; but others
need investigation before .accepting them
without qualification.
Bow to Spell "Potato."
A San Francisco professor spells potato as
follows: "Ohoughphtheightteeau," and de
clares it to be correct according to the follow
ing rule: "Oh stands for p, as you will find
from the last letters in hiccough. Ough
stands for O, as in dough. Phth stands for t,
as in phthisis. Zigb stands for a, as in
neighbor. Tte stands for t, as in gazette, and
eau stands for o, as in beau." He can go to
the bead.
Cel. Otis' Bessersa.
Detroit Free Press.
CoL James Otis, the elevator manufac
turer, is haunted by his unavoidable killing r
1
Confederate soldier. daring the war wh .
be was. colonel of cavalry. The incident, k j
be describe? i.was as follows: "A Confeder'-' f
ate. chased me twentv-five . jniles.'' and' fell'??
dead from sheer exhaustion. I have greVtlv 1
regretted it ever since,' but ' it ' could oot be -I
helped,'" " " '' - :: ' .
.-. ii -,:!') . "'-
ni-. i iraetesrapauur Bsda,.,,,i
Chicago HeraUU: -,n,vi i !.(:! , ;
Jfarrains are hourly. made by telephone in
this, pity, but no , evidence . of them - is pre
served, i he teiepnone makes two a company,
but haa no. place for a third, so titierd is neith
er recprdsnor. witness o t-'.-jj; is said. Science,
however, seems ready' ' t., afford a means of
'getting legal evidence of : telephonic - transao
"tions through photo grapN vl' ' The fact of pho
' tographing souaA variations has been anoom
'plished, and it may yet be applied to the tele-.
phone.. Ta shadow of the vibraUhg plate is
caught aad the curve it makas vary .acoord. .
Mxg.to the sounds altered, the Vowel , curvss'
jbeing more complex. , . Here Is the nucleus of
a genuine phonography, which may yet Add
to the wonders of the'telaTihonio age. '-"
COMFLETE
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ERATOR
tnnrrx.ir.a.S -one, Uteres r.ad markets.
AI ic sr-.i Hfiav Coolers. Jack Bars,
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-;r.js, Com.cic I'lTII.M.s r.-r Moitlift
iWi.l i'!'lt!!S Ju li.VTBul IJtsl-ns.
Tlo LAncrST i-.Ar7uFACTUREI3 OF
SCriiM?!,, VAU'AUm. tfilJI.T UCViii:, HALL
I'hilSi illli :,it. WJifjOL AriMXATUS,
- c, Set:-. ! si'i.it. I rf.t.rui. Pull)!! Chair, (lorn
Sel'.-. !'s:',it.
it!! of Hi? I i st tn; proved f-lui U r
- ., Al,-t:-i-M. Snl.li.itli mImioIh, lecture Kooms,
hn.ir.,. t'u;l limiHra. Hotel O'Ucea, Cru;e
j;.,..!! Siu.tcs. 4.C., Jtc
ONLY
MANUFACTURERS
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fE
SC'n'QOL DESKS.
fct-liai-l v-.-r mm - wi: i J) ! Illtttr which
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r.i:.',K "aii' &iile. .:- no; ;.r ; t ; ui.ti wiil not br-uk. Ilai iu Kmmf
trvfi flat i'mk and Srnl, tc-i-m iiifc' the grl t ce-rree of com
(,,.. !e. Th.-'.j J)nkB Live bt:en adopted liy tbt bOAHD of
i li.'. . ''G i In airat-e. Kf. I.o:-4, n.fol-.. y.rlnai U .i,il otber baat-'r-i
1 .Yc-ttrn r.itine." Tliy ere .Im In n In the .NOIi.MAL Schools
iiiiiioi. "hii'.-in. Vi ' i.tifcin unii s'l oti.rr V.'c. l- rn Sfui-s.
MiCioayri to the Hil! . j V i'.j SCHOnI. I' I'ii.N iTUUB CO.
Jin-i.nc -i-'s!li;-.fcOl over Iv.nr.v .'ol; jears.
Wf rr n-piilii? Two CTnuifiiolii f'.-rtorleej
?v..i
:;3 4 225 S. CAKAL IT., CHICAGO.
( err n.
1' U ' 'v.' 'J t
r .1 f '
C us r; ago.
- r
AHEAD
& LEWIS
a om plete tock; of r.
i ; i'l
'3 I
trk
I)
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for the sate of j ' f j -
GROUND: SPICES!
vSrceries
AND THE CELEBRATED ' ' ' ' '
I 1 r-l
TiirerT brand
of , Baltimore
Oyster
we will make yoa glad.