title: 'Saturday morning courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1893-1894, August 26, 1893, Image 5',
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About Saturday morning courier. (Lincoln, Neb.) 1893-1894 | View This Issue
THE SATURDAY MRNII0 OOURIKH
'Joseph Znltmmnh," liy Edward KIhk,
presents Ronio vivid pictured of tlio dark
uldoof iifo in Now York City. Tlio
"sweating" pyRlom us treated by tlio
graphic pen of thin writer, nppcnrn to Ira
n terrible lnntitutlon, but Mr. KIiik
timkoH it no mnro terrible tliiin it really
Jb. And the awful mlnory and despora
tlon of tlio uuoniployed! These nro not
overdrawn in tlio HtlrrlnK chapters ot
"Joseph Zulinonuh." Only hint week a
New York paper contained an account
of thedifitroHtt anions tlio Hebrew cloak
inakero that reads like a chapter out of
Mr. King's book. Tlio following Ih an
extract frorti a re)ort of a meeting of the
unemployed held a few ilujH ago:
"Talk about tho Hebrew riots," con
tinned tlio speaker. "Tho congressmen
who inako tho laws would inako more
bloody riotH if tlioy had no work and no
money. What him Huron Hirsch done
"Nothing! Nothing!" said tho audi
enco. "Ho has given somomilliousof dollars,
and and nobod) knows who has it. Wo
haven't. Tho American law punishes
us if wo commit suicide, but it lots us
fltarvo to death. You can starve accord
ing to law. If you tako a loaf out of a
fltoro you aro a thief."
"A thief! a thief!" shouted tho audi
ence. Hero attention was drawn to Kniuiu
Goldman. Sho appeared to bo able to
breatho tho frightful atmosphere in
comfort, and looked quite cool.
"If you aro hungry go and get bread,"
eho said. "Tako it it no one will give it
to you. Join tho demonstration of the
unemployed, under the black flag."
Sho paused a moment, and then
"Tho black ilag. I sny! Lot thut bo
your banner in tlio hunger parade."
Joseph Zalmonah is a leader of his
people, who tries peaceful methods for
obtaining relief, while most of those
around him are inciting to anaicliy.
Around tho sombre llguro of tho self
sacrificing labor-leader aro grouped
many interesting ones David, the
purveyor of historical plays, lien Zion,
tho old und humorous little peddler, who
fancies himself also a leader of people,
Mordccal, tho singer of popular ballads
and tho oot of tho people, Freier, tho
typical oppressor, Munassch, the old
orthodox Jew who has come too lato to
a world too now; and others of less Im
portance will all fix tho reader's attcn.
tion and stand for representative types.
Loo & Shopard.
Nathan Haskoll Dole departs u long
way from tho conventional lines of novel
writers in his latest book, "Not Angels
Quito." His plot is simple enough,
tho untangling of a pair of engaged
couples and u readjustment oil a basis
of natural fitness, but the treatment is
decidedly novel and clover. Tho charac
ters stand forth like silhouettes, so dis
tinctly aro thoy drawn, and tho scenes
aro "impressionist" pictures.
Aside from tho interest of tlio story,
the reader will bo entertained by tho
glimpses of tho social institutions and
lads pf Boston. Tlio city is sorved up
Jn every wuy rousted, broiled, uud
Tho scenery throughout is beauti
fully dono. A yacht cruiso on the coast
-of Maino, with which tho action closes,
is a picturesque poem. A numbor of
original poems aro scattered through
tho book, a largesso quito unusual
It is a wholly modern book tin do
.sicclo in method and stylo, and will in
terest tho younger iconoclasts who aro
tired of tho old models. Leo & Shop
jird. Mrs. Sanborn whoso first novel "Sweot
:and Twenty" produced so favorable an
impression has written u now one entitled
"Paula Ferris" in which is shown a
decided step in advance. Tho writing
tshows mastery of English, as well as
(broadening tho mind, accumulated ex
perience. Tho reader at onco feols
.confidence in his guidoand follows tho
tory without question.
Tho heroine is (naturally) a flno wo
man but with a foible;and having allowed
Jicrself to bo admired, is dangerously
near falling. With tho shifting of tlio
wono to a northern region, and tho
.coming in of a gruir ami powerful male
cousin, tho tomperaturo falls, serenity
returns, and penco with honor roigns.
It is a charming book to read at tho
.mi-shorc, or in a hammock, or under a
.shading tiee in. in tlio country. Leo &
"A Singer Fiom tho Sea," will bo
.found to bo quite in tho usual stylo of
Amelia E. Ihirr. This uuthor has many
.genuine admirois. Sho appeals, it may
1)0 truo, to u certain class, but then,
what author does not? Ilor stories
.abound in action, and while thoro aro
plenty of people in her books who aro
not insipidly good, tho general tendency
.is wholesome. "Denus, tho daughter of un
humble Cornish fisherman, (a wooed und
-won by u rollicking, roekless, no'or-do-well,
Roland Trcshum, who marries her
because ho thinks her voice will furnish
him.nni)com(i,Tho runuway mnrriago
Js followed by much distress; tho bus
JjuiuI finally deserts hlswifo and child,
who nro brought to death's door Indeed
tho llttlo one enters in; Holnitd seen tho
misery ho has caused and tiles In a
delirium; tho wlforoturus to her parents
and eventually rewards n patient lover
who has waited for her for years. There
in n pathetic element running through
tho book. Dodd, Mead A, Co.; for sale
by II. W. llrown.
Tho latest addition to Dodd, Mead &
Co.'s "Makers of America" series is a
lifo of Thomas JefTerson by James
Schouler, author of "History of the
United States Under tho Constitution."
Tho career of tho great Virginian is
sketched with grcut lldelity, and withal
in a manner that is distinctly attractive.
JefTerson as a farmer, as a lawyer, as a
statesman, is depicted with cleverness
and precision. There is an occasional
side light on contemjiorury Virginia lifo
-a period fruitful in great characters,
and an intelligent summing up of coinci
dent events. Mr. Sehouler's sketch of
JelTcrson Is a valuable contribution to a
most important series. For sale by W.
"Phlneas Finn," by Anthony Trollopo,
Is a thoroughly enjoyable novel. Phlneas
Is a young Irishman who enters parlia
ment and In a few yearB becomes under
secretary and approaches very near to
real gieutness, only to abandon his politi
cal career before ho is barely in his
thirties to settle down in Ireland as In
spector of poor houses, because ho ro.
fuses to surrender his convictions, and
because ho has married Mary Jones, who
is a dear, good llttlo girl, but who 1b not
at all suited to associate with dukes and
duchesses, prime ministers and lords mid
ladles, as lib has been in tho habit of
doing. Phineas is very real, with his
good impulses and his weaknesses. Ho
is a hero who Is not all nobility, like so
many heroes. Ho does a number of
fooli h things. Ho falls in love alto
gether too frequently. To bo sure ho
goes back in the end to Mary Jones, his
tTrst and humblest love, but only after
ho has laid vain siege to tho daughter of
an earl and to u beautiful heiress. Tho
glimpses of English political and social
lifo are interesting; tho characters aro
deftly drawn, and Mr. Trollopo'B style,
which perhaps now and then too closely
approaches the vernacular, is in tlio
whole pleasing. "Phlneas Finn" is pub
lished in three pretty llttlo volumes by
Dodd, Mead & Co.; for sale by H. W.
Will tho Elsio books ever como to an
end? Their publishers, Messrs. Dodd,
Mead & Company, adviso us that it is
not probable so long as tho juvenile
public clamor loudly for a now volume.
Each year, as tho time for its appear
anco approaches, a host of inquiries
rush upon them from tho author. The
new volume this season tho nine
teenth in tho seriesis called Elsie at
AT LINCOLN PARK.
Fill!) I'l-IIKWItH III lll( Sl'IIHOII Of .SlIIIIIIMT
Opera Thin YVVck'H frogi'iuil.
"Tlio Chimes of Normnnd)" alfordod special
opportunities for tlio dlxplay of thocapabllltioit
of tlio Ideal Opera company, ami thUopora was
iilven a very entertaining presentation tills
week, ono that was cujojed by laro audience.
Mlsslililnohnrilt and Miss Moorouoro particu
larly effective In their parts and Mr. Davins ami
othors dlstliiKulshcd themselves for their Hhur
lim and comedy work. TonUht, "xho Pirates
of Pcnzanco" will ho kIvoii its first presentation,
and this popular opera will bo tho bill all next
week. Thoro will bo two performances tomor
row afternoon and ovciiIiir, preceded In both
instances by a concert by tho full Nobraskn
Stato Hand. Tho engagement of tho opora com
pany is drawing to a closo, thoro will not bo
many more opportunities to onjoy summer
opora at tho park this season.
Thin or gray hair and bald heads, so
displeasing to many people as marks of
ago, may bo averted for u long timo by
using Hall's Hair Ronower.
Convenient markets, good soil, pure
water und excellent climate uro advan
tages to bo considered when looking up
a homo, business location, farm, etc.
Maryland and tho Virginias afTord these,
with many more advantages. Improved
farm lands, adapted to stock raising,
dairying, grain, grass and fruit growing,
can bo obtained at low prices and upon
easy terms. Thriving towns invito tlio
morchant, mechanic and business man.
Abundanco of coal, timber, oro, water
power, etc. Frco sites for manu
facturers. For further information, address M. V.
Richards, Land and Immigration Agent
n. fc O. R. It., llultiinore, Md.
Novor order an Invitation until you
juvo seen tho samples of the work dono
by tho now Courier Publishing Co.
Canon City coal at tho Wbitobroust
Coal and Lime Co.
I leaf limit Cannot in, Cured
By locul applications, ob thoy cannot
reach tho diseased portion of the ear.
Thoro is only ono way to euro deafness,
and that is by constitutional remedies.
Deafness is caused by an inflamed con
dition of tho Eustncliin tubes. When
these tubes got inflamed you havo a
rumbling sound or imperfect hearing,
and when it is entirely closed deafness,
and unless tho inflammation can bo
taken out and this tube restored to its
normal condition, hearing will be do.
stroyed forever; nine cases out of ten aro
caused by catarrh, which is nothing but
an inflamed condition of tho mucous
Wo will givo $100 for any caso of deaf
ness (caused by catarrh) that cannot bo
curod by Hall's Catarrh Curo. Send
for clrouluit, 'ne. -'
F. J. CHENEY & Co., Toledo, O.
HTSold by druggists, 75c.
ALL A MISTAKE.
VI. QUAD WASN'T EXACTLY BUNKOED
It Is A I way a Very lUd Thing la II Mt
Judijml, and Quart Feel Very Much Fain
d and Humiliated The Facts In tho
Copyright, I NO, by Charles II. lowls.
I Iiavo been considerably pained ntul hu
miliated ever tlio fact that nu Item In going
the rounds of thoprenn to the elTecttlmt I
was bunkoed out uf f300 nt the World's
fair. Some of tho editor extend their
heartfelt nympathlc; others adviso mo to
pply to the courtH for n gunrtllnn. Hail It
boon nn item charging mo with ahecp
stealing, blgntny, anion or jail breaking I
should have laid back on my dignity ntul
novcr let on that I wan worried.. As It Is I
feel Mint it Is duo my character to make nn
I wm taking a Atroll on tho Midway
plalxnnce when n stronger tapped m on
tho shoulder and joyfully exclaimed:
"Hollo, old muni but who'd have thought
of meeting you here!"
Wo shook bund. I didn't exactly re
member whether bin name wax Jonca or
Drown, or whether I hud met him at the
Sulllvnn-Corbett prle fight or at the open
Ingof nnow cemetery up the lluilxon. 1
nm no hand to go Into nil these llttlo de
tails. "How nro nil tho boys on Newspnper
rowf " he nuked us. ho offered mo a cigar.
"All well and content," 1 replied as I bit
tho end on".
"And my friend tho mayor?"
"Tolerably fnlr, 1 believe."
"And the boys down In Wall street keep
llUHV, I scof "
"Well, old mnn, I'm nhrnp glad I met
you. Just does my eyes good to look at n
mnn from New Yorkl Remember our llt
tlo trip to Long Island hut Hummcrf "
I humbly acknowledge thut 1 didn't re
member anything of tho kind, but I didn't
want to hurt tho man's feelings,
"And our excursion to Long HrunchJ"
1 humbly acknowledge ngnln that 1
prevaricated, but what was I to ilof You
can't hurt a mnn more Minn to forget you
went on nn excursion with him.
"lly Gcorgel but thin Is lucky," ho feel
ingly exclaimed as ho patted mo on the
shoulder. "You've got a family lllble In
tho house, of course?"
"Hut you've no objection ton new one
something in Turkey morocco gilt-edged
2,000 Illustrations-worth 35r"
"Then come with me. Big publishing
house down hero failed the other day, uud I
bought 100 Ulblex for n song. Have given
away all but five to my, friends. Justn llt
tlo token of remembrance, you know
something to keep my memory green."
Could I suspect such a mnn an Mint of
having evil designs? Had I tho slightest
reason for taking him for a bunko manf
It's all right enough to say I ought to
havo known better than to go with him,
but put yourself in my place. Docs It
seem possible that a bad man would want
to present you with n gilt edged Bible
worth fci"f Wo wnlkcd side by side for a
good ninny squares and Anally turned into
n doorway nud ascended n (light of stairs
and entered n small room. There were five
Bibles piled up on a counter Just such
Bibles as my friend had described. He or
dered n narrow minded young mnn to put
ono of them hi n box nnd nddress it to mo,
charges prepaid. I was expressing my
thanks in n broken voice when a sad faced
young mnn called our attention to the fact
that lio was nn agent for a Cubnn lottery,
nud that ho would bo rejoiced to see us hit
tho corporation for about (30,000. I thought
It real kind of lilm to express himself in
Mint wny, nnd I frankly told him so. That
seemed to please him, nnd after that. I
think ho leave mo his full confidence.
The dear friend who had brought me to
the Bible house didn't seem to take any in
terest In hitting ttO.OOO. in that lottery
Mint is, ho didn't for tho first few minutes.
It was only after tho sud faced young man
bad explained bow much good we could ac
complish in the nnme of charity with such
a sum of money Mint he threw oil hi
mantle of Indifference nnd took mo nslde
for a private talk. Ho said wo hud struck
a soft snap and that It would be almost
criminal on our part not to take advan
tage of It. His half of what wo struck
would bo turned over ton Chicago hospltnl,
while I might do as I liked with mine,
though I would probably remember the
orphans of New York in a liberal manner.
I believe wo bought $100 worth of tickets.
I think tho Idea was to hit nil the prizes In
tho lottery nt once and bankrupt the whole
Island of Cuba. Then we put up SJ50 apiece
to prove to the sud faced young mnn thut
wo were financially responsible for some
thing or other. My friend seemed to know
Just what to do, nnd I let him mnuage the
business. There was a drawing. It was a
drawing without any great amount of cere
mony connected with it. We didn't hit
anything. The inanuger was wirry for us
nnd suggested another trial. We somehow
missed It ngnln by a liulrhrouilth, and we
tried It again. We came within Just one
HE TOOK ME ASIDE KOII A 1'IIIVATK TALK.
figure of hitting 7ft,000. Our money was
now all gone, and so we went out and
walked up and down in the gtad sunshine
nnd spoke to each other only at long inter
vals. When we finally parted, my friend
acted chilly and distant nnd left me abrupt
ly. I haven't the least doubt that he had
thought it all over nnd concluded I was
a bunko steerer.
I don't want any sympathy, I won't ad
mit that I was bunkoed. I simply met a
generous man who took mo for an old
friend of his and wanted to make me n
present. True, tho Bible hasn't reached
mo jet, but there might havo been a mis
mke In the address, or tho express car
itlght have been held up. He didn't want
to go Into the lottery enterprise. When I
Silnk of how I encouraged him and real
're that my nth'ihum lust him faoo In
hard cosh my const tuned cries out that 1
am A vllUln. if we ever meet ngnln, 1
couldn't blamo him If he refused to recog
THE ARIZONA KICKER.
Kdltnr Kiptnln Thai thn Vn?a ol
Civilisation U ItotlhiK On.
SALT III 7GH Jon. The other day there
earns rldlngup to Tun Kickkii oftlcu nu nm
clent looking reptllo who cnllcd for tho edi
tor and nuununced himself ns 8nlt Illver
Joe, Joseph was mounted on n otio eyed,
bobtnllcd cnyuwi of tho drift period, nud
Joseph himself had ha'r two fret long nnd
buckskin sultof thollnvur of oOyearsago.
"What's nil this yere nboutf" nsked Joe
as wo stepped out,
"Why this yero prlntln of n nooscpnper
round yero nnd upsotttu society m..l
chnngln things overl Bum my hide if I
didn't see n mnn Imok yero u-slttlu down to
drlnkl And gouge my even If folks hnlu't
wcnrln reg'lar clothes nnd drlnkln tlmr
llckcr out o' glasses. And you kin call my
olocayuso n kyotolf I hain't seen wlmlti
folks around reg'lur wlmln with dress
on to 'cm I"
We started to explain Mint tho wave of
clvtllintlou wns rolllngoii, but Joseph can
tered his old cayusortoout In a circle nnd
"Waughl It's got to stop! You've skeert
all tho b'nrs nud wolves nwny nud party
nigh ruined the kentryl I've rid up from
Snlt river to purtesl In the interests of suf
fer In humanity. I now purcccd to pup
Wo began to explain that the wave of
civilization could not bo stopped, when ho
jumped his critter over our hitching rack
"Waughl Whoop! No moro bufller,
b'nrs, wolves or Injuns on tho warpath!
What's golu to become of olo Artoner"
"She's going to fall Into Hue and have
her h'ur cut and wear white shirts."
"And what's go In to become of mo nud
"You'll havo to como in out of tho wet."
Ho dug in tho spurs and madu his cayuse
buck and cavort for a minute, and then
"Waughl Neverl Stranger, 1 purtest
solemnly purtestl I've rid over 100 miles
tonsk yu to stop fussln and foolln and let
this yero kentry remain as the Lord made It.
Your dratted olo uooscpnpcr has made grl.
riles skusser than gold. It has ilrlv the'
huffier to other pastures and the wolf to his
hole. It has madu tho Injun behave hlsself,
and I Imln't seen a real bad man fur n y'ar.
Ar' you goln to keep right on till I hev to
cat butter on my bread and put reg'lar
milk In my coffee nud drink, my whisky
onto' otio o' them befnugled glass dishes?
Stranger, ur' tho tlmo u-comlu when I've got
to peel oft this olo buckskin, when some
blnmed varmint will laugh at my h'ur,
when I may git Into a place whnr I've got
to take my hat off to cat and can't usu my
fingers nor drink out o' tlio coffee pot?"
"That's what she's comln to, Joseph, nud
it isn't so fur away neither."
And with Mint ho uttered a whoop, rode
his critter up tho steps nnd through TllK
KtCKEK ofTIco und out nt tho back door,
and tho Inst wo saw of him he wns making
for the hills with tears in his eyes and his
long locks wavlug in tho breeze,
Apolooetical. Thoedltorof The Kick
KR (who la ourself), tho mayor of this town
(who is ourself) nnd the territorial council
representative from this district (who is
also ourself) desires to express his regrets to
the public for tho little affair which oo
noTii or us danced and dodged.
currcd on Apache avenue Monday after
noon. As Is generally known and under
stood, wo wnnt to bo postmaster here. We
havo wanted for tho Inst three years. From
the present outlook we may want for three
years to come. Wo were on our way to the
bnnk at 3 o'clock when wo encountered the
critter who presides over affairs at tho post
ofllce. Ho claims that wo made a movo to
drnwonhlm. His actions certainly led us to
believe that he intended to get tho drop on
us. It seems thut he fired five shots, nnd wo
fired four ns both of us danced nnd dodged
around on the street, nud then the crowd
interfered. Wo do not apologize for shoot
ing at tho postmaster, but for not hitting
him. In fact, we haven't tho check to look
a Chinaman in the facc since that event.
As editor of Tint Kickku we ought to have
made nt, least ono shot tell. As mnyor we
ought to havo plunked him twlee. As a rep
resentative of this great and glorious terri
tory wo should not havo wasted ashot. We
feel disgraced and humiliated uud realize
that we deserve the local eensuro und ridi
cule lielng heaped on our head. We are go
ing over to Lone Jack In a day or two to
interview the editor of The Banner, who
published un editorial last week calling us
un egotist and an ass. If we make as poor
n record with our shooting Irons over there,
we shall resign our political otllces, sell off
all our property at auction nud go east and
apply for n portion as lighthouse keeper.
W Kilted n Niiurii Ileal.
One night when Cactus Jim nud I were
on guard at the corial lie said:
"I was cow puiichln on B'ar river, Idaho,
when homebody started a town Jest whar
the stream makes a sharp land, I heard a
good di al about tho town, and one day 1 got
read) and rid over tlmr. I was slttlu In a
siiUhiii when a fellow rides up from the
norm on a pinyconutmewi. no was a cross
eyed mitn and looked as If he'd bin cryhi.
The feller who owned the saloon was city
muohal, nud the cross eyed man calls him
out ami MZ to him:
"'Ar' this a free and enlightened kentry
" 'She ur' fur a fact,' says the marshal ns
he proudly swelled out his hustim.
"'Kin n man gltasquardcal In these yere
"'Yo' bet he kin! That's what the. glo
rious nineteenth century Is yero fur, to gin
every wirmlnt a wpiar' deal. Stranger, call
uii the boys to drink at yo'r expense, -and
then we'll see that yo' hev dead lo.ul of
"'Cnn.'t I git justice without that' use
the feller, who had at-tlngy lookalsmt hl'ii.
'"Not real, solid Justice.' ne thumnrslinl,
lint tho sort Mint stays by yo' fur two ot
"Wnsl, Mm feller serf, o' tumbles off lit
olo mewl nud calls tip tho crowd to ticker
nt Ids expense, and ho had to put down 19
big dollars to settle tho bill,
" 'Tho cnij Is Jest this,' ho snys ns he
stntids up on a bnr'l so Mint all could sec
him, 'A feller who wns earn pin with me
up at Puma Creek stole my watch ami dug
out. I dug arter htm. In crosslu the creek
hogottnlred In the quicksands. When I
overtook, him his mewl had goiiuouterslght
clean down lo tho saddle, but had struck
hard pun nvd stopped, Tho feller wasn't
goln down nay, but ho hud no show to git
I tfii-is t
"TllK CASK 18 JEST THIS."
"In course you opens fire on hlmf'ses
'"In course I does, but I llresoveriWshots
nnd don't hit him. That's what I'm yero
to complain about.'
" 'It's owln to tho slant o' yo'reyes, I take
" 'Sho ar', nud I wnnt a squnr' deal.'
" in other words,' sez the nmrslinl, 'yo'
want Justice to send somebody out lhar to
pop him outer that saddle?'
" 'That's mel'
"it'll cost yo'W0.
'But I won't pay III I'm out (18 already
fur a (10 watch I'
" 'Stranger,' sez tho marshal ns his biisum
swelled ngln, 'yo' cum yero domnndln jus
tice. Yo' shell hov It. It's ngln thu law to
hoot at a mnn out yero and not hit him
nud this yero court fines you ISO, Yo've
tookeu up half an hourof our Mine, nud tho
cost will bo 115.'
"'But yo' hain't no court of justice!' yells
tho man ns bo drops off tho bnr'l,
" 'Mebbo not!' sez tho marshal ns ho pulls
his gun nnd looks around. 'Mehbu some
other reptllo In this town is n court of jus
tice! If so, let mu hear what his voice
sounds like. If thur's uny dispute on thut
pint wo might nswell settle her now. I
tion't hear uny shoutln, and to this jeru
cross eyed tenderfoot is lined (10 moro fur
back talk, and court Is adjourned,'
"But did ho collect the Hues?" 1 asked as
Cactus Jim quietly chuckled over tho rem
iniscence, "Surtln ho did, and while they was foolln
around tho stranger's olo mewl went dead,
and ho had to leuvo town ou foot."
Only nt Interval!.
A Boston housekeeper "doing" Paris
lately was greutly captivated by the llttlo
white cupped, white uproncd baker boys
currying from door to door with their
trays of sugared dainties. "Of course, my
lad," snld tho lady when ho arrived at Iter
own, "you sometimes take ouu for yourself,
do you not?"
"I tako a candy, mndaino? Oh, no, thut
would be wrong," returned the llttlo lad
surprised; "1 only lick 'em now and then
as I como along." Kovuo do Fumlllo.
It I With Noiiiu reonle.
Frank, aged B, Is trying lo explain to his
llttlo sister Kthel what the soul Is.
"You know, Kthel, your body doesn't go
to heaven It's your soul."
Kthel What is the soul?
Frank Well, It's something Inside you
not your heart. It's something you feel,
but can't sec.
Kthel Oh, I know! You menu tho din
ner. Texas Sittings.
A Ilurat Incident.
"Why don't you go to work?" nsked the
" 'Cause no ono won't gimme nouo In my
line," said the tramp. "I've applied to
several railroads, but they won't have me."
"What's your line brakemau?"
"No. I maku tracks," said tho tramp.
And then ho made n few, with thu fanner
a close second. Truth.
A Wide Choice.
Guard (at tho World's fair) I advlsa you
to go to your stato building and make thut
a sort of headquarters for receiving mall,
writing, letters, resting, etc. Whut stato
are you from?
Drummer Well cr which state build
ing is tho most' comfortable? Now York
Her Tlmo Almtitt Up.
Ijidy Is Mrs. Dinks at homo?
Lady Can you tell mo when sho will bo
Servnnt As soon as sho gets tho parlor
dusted, mum, nu she's nearly finished now.
FliiUhcd With Her.
"I notice thut you don't call on tho Byugs
girls any more. Why is It?"
"Tlio Inst tlmo I was Micro I asked her if
sho had nnythlug I could take homo nud
rend, nud she handed mo a book on how to
keep house on (300 a year." Indianapolis
Tim llnnlrat Kind.
Aunt Jane Is the water whero you live
now soft or hard?
Wee Niece I guess it's pretty hnrd. Tho
girl spattered home on the lamp chimney
tho other night, nu It broko nil to pieces.
Ur Count) Slie Doei.
Mrs. McBrlde I wish you would tell me
why I'attl calls every ono of her tours a
Mr. McBrlde Doesn't sho fare wull every
time? Detroit Free Press.
She I don't think It half so pretty as her
light brown. Texas Slftlngs.
Too Much For II Int.
Williamson I've quit my barlior,
Williamson Ills first baby Is beginning
to talk. Truth.
Mwklug Himself Comfortable,
Wife (to corpulent husband) Stnnd Just
there and let no sit in the shade. Humor-'
t tlche Ulutei
Tim 1.1-Kmit or I'.vll.
Tliln In thesoriuwfiil nturr
Told when the tullluht fall,
Anil nil tho uiouknjs wnlked tounlher
llolilhitf each other' tnllii,
''Our fathers lived lu tlio forest,
Foollnh people Mere the)-1
They went down to thn roriilniid
To teach thn farmers In luy,
"Our fathers frltked lu tho millet,
Our fiithnti skipped In tlio wheat,
Our fntliets Iiiiuk In the brunches,
Our fathers danced In tho tlreet,
''Then cnuin the terrible farmers,
NothliiK of play they khnw
Only they cnimlit our fnthen
And set them to lalsir, tool
"Het them touork In tluirornlaiul
With plows and slrklei and Halls,
Put them In uiud-walled prboiia
And rut off their beautiful tullil
"Now mo ran Match our fathers,
Mullen nnd Isiwed and nli,
HtoophiK ontr the millet,
Htlrrlnit thu silly mold,
"DrlvhiK a foolish furrow,
MulidliiKU muddy )okn,
Hlccpliur lu mud-walled prison,
HteephiK their food hi smoke,
"We may not speak to our fathom,
For if the fanners knew "'
Tin;)' Mould como up to the forest
And set us lo lalsir, too,"
This is tho horrible story
Tobias thn twIllKht falls,
As tho liiiinkejs walk together
llohlhiu ench others' tails,
Mr. Chan. N, fatter
Ot Frederick, M.I., sufTorod terribly for over
ten yonr with nbsccisci and running sores oa
his left log. Ho waited away, crow weak and
thin, and wai obliged to tno a cane nnd crutna.
Kvcry thing which could bo thnuitht of wm don
without good result, until ho began taking
which effected a perfect cure. Mr. Hsuer U
now In tho licit of health. Full particulars of
ul cue will be sent all who adilrcsi
O. I. Hoop & Co., Lowell, Masi.
HOOD'S PlLLS ra tits trait sftar-dlantrriUa,
Miit dig mUob, curs headache and blUwuasu.
Our entire Handkerchief
Stock for one week at
Gome in and examine
them, it will be to YOUR
W. I). SHIELDS, M. 1).
PHYSICIAN AND SURGEON.
orncii. U36 0ST.
HejIJtnce. 2731 Pear Street.
Real Estate Loans
On farms In Eaitcrn Nobraika and lmproT4
property la Lincoln, for s torm of years.
UOWBST CURRENT RATES.
R. E. AND J. MOORE.
Corner Klerctith and O Streets, Lincoln.
Steam Iy eiijj
AND CLEANING WORKS.
no. mi rv.'rw-oiifti 4t.
V. i .to to V.. L. rabner, I', A. Santa Fo Koute
'ii.nl a, Nob., for free copy of illustrated fuldar
mid thoTonkawa, Pawn and KlcknpooRer
nt liina, oon to Moiwned for settlement by the
i . Sf government. Million ot acre In the An
ml HKricultural country under the sua, waiting
lo bo tickled by tho husbandman's plowsnaroi
ilii Is almost the last chance to obtain one ol
Uucls Sam' free farm.
. . 11 .
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