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About The Nebraska advertiser. (Nemaha City, Neb.) 18??-1909 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 9, 1907)
TRUE LOVE'S ROUTE 10 IT ALWAYS THROUGH THE HEART? Sometimes "Py the StummlcU," Ac cording to Philosopher Who Backs Up His Assertion with Con elusive Individual Proof. Mnx, the Washington Heights Ba-' loon keeper, sat In his cheerful back room the other night and defied the weather. 13eitig Sunday the chain was on the door, and tho prcsenco of two policemen In uniform, who had dropped in for a littlo something warm to offset tho effect of tho un charitable elements, contributed to the general atmosphere of security and comfort. Half a dozen of Max's most neighborly patrons added to tho homeliko tone. Max himself smacked his lips and sighed a largo and comprehensive sigh of satisfaction as ho arranged the trayful of delicacies which had just been brought down from his cozy flat and constituted his Sunday even ing meal. He had let tho bartender go for tho day and was on duty him self; hence he could not join his fam ily at supper. He carefully preened his long blonde mustache, hid the brilliance of tho big diamond that glowed like a headlight on his spot less shirt front, and then when ap parently about to tackle the repast, smacked his lips yet again and paused to remark: "Lofo conies py tho stummick. Yes, mine friends, lofe iss not py der head or py der heart, but py der stummick. I prove It 11 years ago, und mlno vife upstairs, she would toll you der same. "Fourteen years ago I wass a bartender,- und for six monts I keep com pany py a girl what wass der sister of mlno vife upstairs. I get T'ursdays off, und I take supper mlt mine girl und her mudder. Dis vun, mine vife, wass a cook mlt a private family, und so for six monts I nefer see her on T'ursdays. But vo hat goot suppers; mlno girl, she cook 'em. "But vun T'ursday I find mine girl iss not home. Her sister, mine vife, Is home, und she cooks dor supper. Ach, Gott; vhat a supper! She hass all mine favorites Hungarian goulash, homo mate peach pie and French cof fee mlt cream. Ach, such a cook! Such a supper! Py and py I say: " 'Vhere iss your sister?' " 'She's gone mlt a girl py a play, she says. " 'I hope she stayo there,' I says. "Well, mlno friends, dot night 1 propose to my girl's sister, der cook. Lofe comes py der stummick. She says: 'O, vhat vill mlno sister say?' 'You tell her I say for her to go py der devil,' says I. In one vveok wo wass married, und dot is mine goot vife uptsalrs dere 14 years. "Now, I always have goot food, und I am der boss. Vhen I speak efory boty in der house shuts up. I say lofo comes py der stummick." "Good for you, Max," chorused tho listeners. "But ono fing I vill not do," con tinued tho saloon keeper between bites. "I vill not vheel der baby car riage. I vill valk alongside, mine hants behint mine back, und smoke my cigar. I vill not hantle der milk pottle. What does mens know about such t'lngs? Noddings. I am a prac tical mans like mino fader and mud tier. "Plenty vifes send dor husbands oudt on Sunday mit der babies und tier milk pottles. Der babies cry und tier mens stuff 'em mlt milk. In der night they get sick. On Monday comes do doctor. All der veek it takes to get der babies well again. I vill not push der baby carriage." And tho audience, In tones of coiv victlon chorused: "You're all right, Max, ol' feller; we wouldn't, either." Washington Post. Eags of the Wren. Six or eight minutely speckled flesh-colored eggs suffice to keep tho nervouB wren In her home. Wanderings of a Seagull. On Oct. 28 last there was shot at Oushy, on Lake Leman, a seagull, aged about 16 months, which was found to be wearing on Its claw a silver ring engraved with tho words "Vogel Sta tlon, Rosslten 20." Rosslten Is situ ated on the Lido of the Courland la goon, botweon Konlgsberg and Momel in the Baltic, 1,500 kilometers from the Lake of Geneva. M. Florol, of Lausanne, communicated with Dr. J. Thlenemann, director of tho ornltho logical station at Rosslten. According to the latest notes tho full No. 20 was hatched there and was marked with the ring when a few weeks old, before it could lly, on July 4, 1905. It seems probable that it had thus mado two winter migrations beforo it fell a vie time to the human barbarian. Now " York Herald. An Old Bachelor's Opinion. "It is said that tho safoty pin was Invented by a man." "And I'll wagor ho was somo man whoso wifo was too busy assisting with the social uplift to keep his trou sers properly equipped with buttons. Chicago Record-Herald. M'KINLEY MONUMENT To Be Dedicated In Buffalo Sept. 5. Former Residents Invited. Tho beautiful white marble shaft erected by tho state of New York In Niagara Square, Buffalo, N. Y., to tho memory of President McKinley,is to bo formally dedicated Thursday, Sept. 5, and tho event will bo tho central featuro of Buffalo's Old Homo Week, Sept. 1 to 7. Former residents of Buf falo and tho public at largo are cor dially Invited to attend the dedication. The McKinley monument was planned and executed under tho direction of a commission of prominent men, at a cost of ?150,000. Gov. Charles B. Hughes, with his military staff, will take part in tho ceremonies and Presi dent Roosevelt and former President Grover Cleveland have been invited to attend and speak. Military parades will bo a featuro of the occasion. All in Cold Storage. An Oregon attorney, representing n client whose title to a certain cold storage plant was under fire, closed an ffble argument before the Oregon supreme court recently with tho fol lowing bit of pathos: "Your honor, there is more resting upon your de cision than this cold storage plant: a human life is at stake. My client's life's efforts are in this cold storage; his life's blood is in this cold storage; his body and soul are wrapped up in this cold storage." Law Notes. FEARFUL BURNING SORES. Boy in Misery 12 Years Eczema in Rough Scales, Itching and In flamed Cured by Cuticura. "Cutlcura has put a stop to twelve years of misery I passed with my son. As an Infant I noticed on his body a red spot and treated same with differ ent remedies for about five years, but when the spot began to get larger I put him under tho care of doctors. Under their treatment tho disease spread to four different parts of his body. During tho day it would get rough and form like scales. At night It would be cracked, Inflamed and bad ly swollen, with terrible burning and itching. Ono doctor told me that my son's eczema was Incurable, and gave It up. I decided to give Cuticura a trial. When I had used tho first box of Cuti cura Ointment there was a great im provement, and by the time I had used the second set of Cuticura Remedies my child was cured. Ho is now twelve years old, and his skin Is as lino and smooth as silk. Michael Stolnman, 7 Sumner Avenue, Brooklyn, N. Y., April 16, 1905." When they enter a theater women should check their hats and men their thirst. Smokers hnve to call for Lewis' Single Binder cigar to get it. Your dealer or Lewis' Factory, Peoria, 111. A woman who has given her Hps has given everything. Anonymous. W. N. U LINCOLN, NO. 32, 1907. SICK HEWCHE Positively cured by these Little Pills. They uino relievo DIs treHfrom Dyspepsia, III' digestion and Too Hearty hating. A perfect rem edy for Dizziness, Xiuv sea, DrowhlnejiH, Had Taste in the Mouth, Coat ed Tongue, Tuln in tho Hide, TOUPID MVEK Tlicy regulate tho Uo wels. Purely Vegetable. SMALL PILL, SMALL DOSE, SMALL PRICE, Genuine Must Bear Fac-Simile Signature j CARTEKS WlTTLE lVER g PILLS. CARTERS PlTTLE ElVER I PILLS. REFUSE SUBSTITUTES. Always In the Way. Recently a country doctor In tho north of Ireland, a bachelor, who was locally noted for his brusqueness and irascibility, was driving along a nor row lane, or "borecn," when his pas sago was effectually barred by an old woman, who was returning from tho bog leading an ass whose panniers wero filled with peats. Tho woman led tho ass to tho sldo of the lano as quickly as sho could, but not quickly enough to plenso the short-tempered doctor. "Faugh!" he exclaimed, with a snort of disgust. "Women and asses are always in tho way." "I'm glad yo havo tho manners to put yourself last," said the old woman, calmly. Tho doctor drovo on without another word. Important to Mothers. Exnmlno carefully every bottlo of CASTOTIIA, h safo mid euro remedy for infants and children, nud bco that It In Ubo For Over UO Years. Tho Kind You lluvo Always Uought. Approaching Nature. Somo men think they can't "get next to nature," properly without tak ing along two quarts of whisky and a box of cigars. Judge. It Cures While You Walk. Allen's Foot-Ease is a certain cure for hot, sweating, callous", and swollen, aching feet. Sold by all Druggists, i'liec 'J,V Don't accent any substitute. Trial package FIM0H3. Address Allen o. Unlisted, x Hoy, N. Y. Proof. Tho Bride How do you know that man across the aisle is a pugilist? Tho Groom Why, just listen how fluently ho talks. Does Your Head Ache? If so. cot a box of KraiiM'H Iionrlanlir. Capsules of your Druggist. 'Joe. Norman Lichty Mfg. Co., Dos Moines, la. Self-Control Valuable. Ho approaches nearest to tho gods who knows how to be silent oven though ho knows ho is in tho right. Cato. Guns, Traps, Decoys, Etc. Lowest nrit'os. Write for Free catalog No. 1. N. W. Hide & Fur Co., Minneapolis. If a man occasionally tells a woman how pretty she looks sho will forglvo most of the other lies he tells her. Lewis' Single Hinder Cigar lias n rich taste. Your dealer or Lewis' Factory, Peoria, 111. Try It and See. Funny, Isn't it, but it makes all tho difference in the world whether you call a girl a vision or a sight. Mrs. WIiihIow'h Soothing Svrtm. for children tucthliiK, softens tlio gurna, reduced In- nammiitloa, alluyo pain, curcn wind colli), use a ljottlo. Our idea of a loafer is a man who rests before ho gets tired. This Is What Catches Me! IGoz.- A 1 MRS. A. M. HAGERMANN Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound made from simple native roots mid herbs. For more than thirty years It has been helping women to bo strong, regulating tho functions per fectly and overcoming pain. It has also proved itself invaluable in pre paring for child birth and tho Change of Life. Mrs. A. M. Ilagormajin, of Hay Shore, L. I., writes : Dear Mrs. l'mkham: "I suffered from a displacement, excessive and painful functions so that I had to lie down or sit still most of tho time. Lydia 15. Pinkham's Vegetable Compound has made mo a well woman so that I am able to attend to my duties. 1 wish every suffering woman would try Lydia 12. I'lnlcham's Vegetable Compound and sou what relief it will give them." Mrs. Pinkham's Standing Invitation to Women Women oulTering from any form of female illness aro invited to wrlto Mrs. Pinlcham, at Lynn, Mass. for advice Sho is tho Mrs. l'inlcham who has been advising sick women free of charge for more than twenty years, and before that she assisted her molher-ln-law Lydia 15. Pink ham in advising. Therefore oho ia especially well qualified to guide sick women back to health. W. L. DG $3.00 & $3.50 SHOES Wf-"?tr DLtrro c?rr rrwrr nv larnrtr - MyA4!?,t daand$B Gold Bond V . li. DoughiH stamps his nitmo ami prlco und Inferior shoos. Tuho No Substitute. llVJk onw&o run uvt.il i mcmuutf Ur3Koft V VhiJ THE FAMILY. AT ALL PRI0E8. ) Douoiaa doom not ma ho sail J?ASViffrl lmoro Man' a $3 A $3. BO ahooa amwsvmcSB Kthan any oiltar manufacturer. TIIH JtKASON W. L. Douglas shoes aro worn by more- pooplo in all walks of llfo than any otlior niako, it because- of their excellent Htylo, oaxy-llttlng, ami superior wearing qualities. Tho selection of tliu leathers ami other matorlals for each part of tho shoo, ami every detail of tlio making In looked after by tho nHstcoinplotoorganl7.atlonorsuporlnto!idcnts,forcmciiand Bklllcil shoemakers, who receive- tho highest wages paid In tho Bhoo Industry, and whoso workmanship cannot bo excelled. Jf I could take you Into my largo factories at llroekton.Mass., nnd show you how carefully W.L. Douglas shoesaro inado, you would thon imdurstand why thoy hold their shape, lit hotter, wear humor and aro of creator valim than nnv other nmke. tail (,cler Jiitlcti usca exdustvtlu. Catalog mailed free. W. 1. DOlKa.AS, Jli-ucktou. ; DAISY FLY KILLER For Rottlnir rlil ol ami Hi-Mirny-I li if II lt. It I il (In evt'rv thing. Ono lusts tlio entile pcamui, lit unit nud clean ami iirtintneiitnl. Hold hrnltilrnli'i or font Iit mail tinMpnlil for 2"e. UIKII.II fiOMKHN, lit) lit. Knlli Air., IIK001I.YN, H. T. PlTATfciTPQ ' this papor do ntutMJ LfJ siring to buy any- " i " thing advertised in its columns should insist upon having what they ask lor, refusing all substi tutes or imitations. esssSaWmm -Thlrd More Starch. for No premiumSf but onesihird more starch than you get of other brands. Try it now, for hot or cold starching it has no equal and will not stick to the iron. ALL WOMEN SUFFER from tho same physical disturbances, and tho nature of their duties, In many cases, quickly drift them into tho horrors of all kinds of female complaints, organic troubles, ulcera tion, falling and displacements, or perhaps Irregularity or suppression causing- backache, nervousness, ir ritability, and sleeplessness. Women overywhero should re member that tho medicine that holds tho record for tho largest number of actual cures of female ills la UCLAS BEOT IN THE WORLD n - Shoo cannot bo mquallad at anyprlam, on tho bottom to protect you against high prices Sold by tho best shoo dealers everywhere , Mu... Why Not You? Only a few more ten acre plotHof mincrb frull laiulH on the wcHturu iilopc of Colorado. A apeclal all cuhIi Halo at WO per aero for $78 patented land with perpetual water Mock. TitloH perfect. No charge for uno of water. Othern arc getting JAW per acre, adjoining, with trees planted. Why not you? The garden spot. Income tfiMK) to t.r00 per acre. Famous, for iiuiintlly and iuallty. Free pamphlet. Wrlto hiHtuntly. NATUR1TA CANAL & RESERVOIR CO. 825 Cooper Building DENVER, COLO. DEFIANCE STARCH! 10 ouacei to tho pneksgt other piarchos only l!i otincon unmo prlco auj 'DEFIANCE" 18 SUPERIOR QUALITY. x,rul!lf Thompson's Eye Water J V i'.rr TMDl ill' RGQUIR&5N0CD0NNG PRfmREOfOT itAUMFnWOSttONW FULL POUND lOc