lists and
NOT YET IWV SOON.
Undo Doctor Sam Tou may hnvo to swallow this pill soon!
Cuba Well, 1 may 1101 Hwallow it peaceably.
His In-Come.
llor Mother What 1b your bus
band's Incomo now?
Her Married Daughter Well, lt'H
unually anywhere between 1 and 4
o'clock In tho morning.
"Before marriage he always looked
an neat as if he had just stopped out
of a bandbox."
"Yes, and now ho looks as If his
mother-in-law had sat on tho band
box."
There were some strange folks came
to town
From a placo little known to renown;
From an islo in the sea
(But that's nothing to me.)
Feejees they were, dressod in brown.
M. W.
k e.
Studies. f
A Cruel Nurse.
Mrs Wrltup Why did you dis
charge that nurse girl?
Mrs. Do Swell She kicked poor
little Fldo junt for biting the baby.
First American Heiress Do you
think Lord Do Broke would lie an
easy catch?
Second Amorlcan Heiress My dear
ho has been an epidemic in society
for tho past few years.
HIe Wish.
Gladys I think the night Bob pro
posed ho had me mesmerized and I
had to do just as he wished mo to do.
Grace Oh! then you refused him,
did you?"
Out of a fortune of $775,000 Mrs.
Mary Todd, of Oak wood, Hastings,
England, left $5,000 for distribution
by her executors to homes for cats
and dogs.
What Flowsrs Cost
An approximation of the monoy
spont euoh year in America, for culti
vated flowers Is $100,000,000. This Is
nn amount equal to the vnlue of all
the realty property In th stato of
Oregon, to one-fifth tho value of all
coal mined -last year, to one-fourth
tho surplus In the national banks of
the United Stains for the last fiscal
year, and almost equal to the not
earnings of these banks. It Is nearly
twice enough to covor tho bonded
debt of all the New England states
combined. New Yorkers spend more
for flowers and clabornto floral de
signs than any other of America's lav
ish buyers, and their florists glean an
annual harvest of $4,000,000.
Thero nro 20,000 florists in America,
the great proportion of whom have en
tered the business during the last
twenty-flvo years. Tho citizens of
Newport, Cincinnati and St. Louis pay
$1,000,000 annually for their flowers,
and $2,000,000 aro spent yearly In
Boston, Chicago, Philadelphia nnd
Pittsburg. The growers who supply
tho rose markets of New York city
employ an army of a thousand men,
and tho annual cost of carrying tho
flowers from tho farms to the city Is
moro than $50,000. This immense in
dustry has boon caused by the swol
len fortunes of America. Tho tendency
of wealthy people to gauge Intrinsic
value by the monoy they must pay out
has led florists to cudgel their brains
for expensive flowers. In order to
make milady's cotillion bouquet cost
fifty or a hundred dollars, ribbons at
a dollar and two dollars a yard uro
often added.
Catchwords are sometimes employ
ed as cognomens, for advertising pur
poses, and sometimes even a re
christening Is permissible, If thero is
reason to suppose It will bring a ilgw
lease of life. The "American Beauty"
Is not nn American roso at all, and
there Is a discussion as to whether it
was produced on English or French
soil. Its producer was a Mr. Brady,
an English gardener, nnd it was ad
vertised In Franco by the name of
Madame Ferdinand Jamain. It failed
absolutely. Parisian florists derided its
"faded color," and Brady brought it to
America. It was difficult to produce,
because of the odd blend of its color,
but once started, It proved the hardi
est of roses. Mr. Brady came to this
country, and having in mind bis recent
failure In France, sold his rose to
Field Brothers, in Washington, for a
nominal price.
This linn, who had acquired It for
a trifle, advertised it thoroughly, and
by making it something of a fad
among Washington society women
gave it sufficient popularity to sell It
for $5,000. Since then it has mado
more money In America than any oth
er flower ever Bold, and Is still coining
fortunes for its growers. Brady has
not fared so well. Ho has fallen to
tho lowest depths of poverty, and has
become embittered and hopeless from
dwelling on the success that has come
to others through bis rose.
Survived an Ocean Horror.
There WGre three survivors of tho
Bennington disaster at San Diego,
Cal., who are not recorded in the of
ficial report sent to the navy depart
ment, though news'! of their safety
was the flrst received from tho scene
of tho wreck. They wore the pots of
Commnnder Luc'n Young, a liltle
white deer, an Angora cat and a sleek
llttlo fox terrier puppy, now grown
to mnnhood with tho weight of his
trying experience. These three little
companions were with Commander
Young on every voyage, and each had
developed a flno pair of sea-legs,
equal to any omergency short of nn
actual explosion under tho decks.
Needless to say the animals wore
petted and spoiled by every one
aboard, from tho commander to the
middies. When they were found un
harmed after tho explosion, Com
mander Young telegraphed his wife.
"John and I and the three babies arc
safe." ".John" is Commander Young's
old servant, who goes with him on all
his voyages.
Concrete Result.
"Papa," asked tho eminent sur
geon's petted daughter, "what Is tho
appendix vormlformls good for, any
wny?" "My, dear," answered tho eminent
surgeon, "tho last one I removed was
good for that sealskin sacquo you aro
wearing." Chicago Tribune.
When a dollar is once broken it is
easy to loso tho pieces.
USEFUL REMEDIES.
Raw Potatoes for Burns.
1 havo something I have triod for
burns many times, and It nover fulls.
Scrape tho inside of a raw potato, ap
ply cold to tho burn and covor It with
a piece of linen. I don't think u sec
ond application will be necessary.
A remedy for dysentery is "meadow
fern" not sweet fern. Pour three
pints of boiling water upon an ounce
of it and steep for halfnn hour; strain,
cool and drink a wineglassful 3 or 4
times a day. Sweeten with loaf sugar,
if agreoaTjle. This Is a splendid medi
cine for teething children and for diar
rhoea in old persons.
MRS. H. A. G.
Kerosene on a Tablecloth.
1. What will take kerosene out of a
damask table spread? The lamp leak
ed oil and was not noticed until it had
made a very large Bpot.
2. What will restore the color to
an onk chair thnt has turned white
from damp clothes lying over it?
Mrs. S. D. W. (Buffalo, N. Y).
1. The kercsone will evaporate of It
self if you will give It time. If the dust
has settled In It, sponge with pure al
cohol and hang In tho air.
2. Hub the spots with camphorated
oil. If one application does not remove
the marks, repeat it.
Boraclc Acid for the Eyes.
For weak nnd tired eyes, dissolve
one tcaspoonful of boraclc acid in a
cup of warm water. Bathe the eyes
night and morning. One who uses this
simple remedy will find a pleasant and
soothing effect.
A CONSTANT READER.
Having within the month tested the
efficacy of the simple remedy upon my
own eyes, I cheerfully recommend it.
To Clean a Feather Boa.
Would you please tell me the best
way to clean a white feather boa?
E. C. (Chicago).
Make a mixture of powdered starch,
borax and fine salt. Stir all together
into a bowl and bury the plume In it,
when you have rubbed the filaments
gently with the prepared starch, hand
ling very carefully, but treating every
one. Leave in the powder for three
days, then shake out in the wind and
curl the feather.
Ink From Typewriter Ribbon.
I took a discarded purple typewriter
ribbon put it in a quart of soft water,
and although I have all the best ink
furnished me free, prefer the old rib
bon ink, as it flows better and does not
clot or corrode common or fountain
pens. I have been using the same for
two years, write a great deal. Writing
I did a year ago looks as well as this.
Yours to help,
' INSURANCE MAN.
To Remove Coffee Stains.
Can you tell me what will remove
coffee stains from a silk waist? The
waist is a green and blue changeable
taffeta.
1 have tried the blotter and the hot
flatiron, also gasoline, which have no
effect.
L. A. M.
As a general rule, which has few ex
ceptions, apply nothing to a stain until
you are sure that vou are trying the
right thing. Blotter and flatiron are
very well in their way, but they have
set the sugary blemish and the coffee
In acting upon the grease. As to the
gasoline it carried on the evil worK.
You should have sponged out coffee
nnd sugar with pure alcohol, or al
cohol and ether. What was left then
was grease. To remove this you sinful d
have coated the wrong side with pow
dered French chalk, left, it on all night
and next day brought blotter and flat
iron to the front. I fear you have "set"
the stain.
Unwisdom of Cheapness.
William Barclay Parsons is a foo to
skimped work, nnd nt a recent dinner
In Now York he snid: "That man Is
most unwise who tries to get his work
done cheap. Choap work can always
be secured, but the qunllty of such
work Is on Its face "
Mr. Parsons, smiling, interrupted
himsolf to tell a story. "There was
a man," he said, "who entered a
dairy and asked how much the milk
was. 'Ten cents a qunrt, sir,' the
young woman behind tho counter an
swered. The man looked disappoint
ed. 'Haven't you got any for 0
cents?' he asked.
"'No,' said the young woman; 'but,'
she added, 'wo can soon make you
some.'" '
Llera4ty In Business.
P. T. Powers, president of te Nat
ional Association of Baseb0
Loaguas, was talking in New York
about tho business maaagomont eff
baseball.
"Baseball," he said, "must be man
aged liberally. Thero must be ne
niggardliness. Otherwise a deaden
ing unpopularity and a great kiok om
sue. He who tries to conduct base
ball on pawnshop lines gets hourly
such roproofs as fell to a tobacconist
tho other day. A nowsboy walked in
to a tobacconist's shop and asked for
a light for his cigarette.
"'We sell lights here, sonny,' said
the tobacconist.
"Tho boy took out n cent. 'All right,
boss,' he said ; 'let's havo a box of
matches, then,' He paid for tho
matches, extracted one, lighted his
cigarette, and, closing tho box, hand
ed it back to the tobacconist. 'Put
this on tho shelf,' he said, 'and th
next gent what asks for a light give
him ono on me."
The Santa Fe Druggist Who Was Toe
Greedy.
MeUon C. Weeks, in the course of
an address in Denver on the new
pure drug law, told a drug story.
"Dear knows," said Mr. Weeks,
"we ought to give the people puro
drugs we charge thorn enough for
them. Sometimes I think we drug
dealers would get along bettor If wo
didn't show ourselves so greedy in
our charges. We are too much like a
druggist I used to know In Santa Fo.
A miner rodo into Santa Fe with dys
pepsia ono day, consulted a doctor
and took his prescription to my
druggist friend to be made up.
"'Well, how much?' asked the min
er when the prescription was finished.
'"Let's see,' said the druggist. 'It's
$1.10 for tho medicine nnd 15 cents
for the bottle. That makes ' Ho
hesitated, afraid he might havo for
gotten something, and the miner said
Impatiently: 'Wen, hurry up, boss.
Put a price on the cork and let us
know the worst.'"
Always True to Charlie.
Bart Kennedy, the English novelist
nnd sociologist, in the course of a bit
ter attack on tho senate, said In
Washington. "The senate i3 true to
the American people. Oh, yes; very
true to them. Very true, indeed. When
ever I think how true tho senate is
to the people the case of Mary Mills
comes to my mind. Mary's husband
was a soldier. A soldier out in India
fighting for his king. And one day a
friend said to Mary: 'Mary, are your
thoughts always true to Charlie, away
out there, fighting the hill tribes?"
"Yes, Indeed, they are,.' Mary .an
swered., 'Whenever a man kisses me I
shut my eyes and try to think It's
Charlie.'"
The Conceit of Him.
T. A. Daly, the young Philadelphia!!
whose charming book of verse, "Can
zoni," has set him In the front rank
of American poets, was congratulated
the other day on his book's remarka
ble success.
"Well," said Mr. Daly, smiling, "I
hope that this success won't make me
as conceited as most young poets are.
There Is, for instance a young poet at
the Franklin inn and the day after I
had visited the Franklin Inn a friend
of this young man's said to me: 'I'm
afraid you hurt Rimes' feeling last
night, Tom.'
'"What did I say?' I 'asked.
"'You said there was only ono
Shakespeare.'"
Failure in Giving Good Reason.
J. G. Phelps Stokes has withdrawn
his support from the Young Men's
Christian Association, because in
somo of Its classes business methods
of a very worldly description aro
taught. 1
"The association," said Stokes re
cently, "attempts to give good reas
ons for teaching tho tactics of Wall
street, it attempts to reconcilo such
tenchlngs with Its Christian character.
On the whole, It falls In this. It fails
like the huckster who nttempted to
account for the mlserablo condition of
his horse. 'Why,' .said a woman to the
man, 'your horse is a living skeleton.
Don't you ever feed him?'
"'Feed him?' said tho huckster.
Well, that's a good one, that is. Whr
he's got two bushels of oats and a to
of hay at home now, only ho ain't got
time to eat 'em.'"
Tho price of scholarship is study.