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About The Nebraska advertiser. (Nemaha City, Neb.) 18??-1909 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 12, 1904)
The Humor of Lincoln 3 Y2, - & Valentine ji . I The Strength of Lincoln Ii me winter of 1SG4 between 40 and 50 women connected with the Sani tary commission met In Washing ton to "talk It over." After the business had been concluded, about half the delegates decided to call upon President Lincoln. To one of their number, at least Helen Evertson Smith the in terview offered a wonderfully impres sive illustration of Lincoln's trust in God, and the strength and comfort he derived from it. There was no special reason for the call, except, perhaps, a pardonable curiosity on the part ol the women to nee "Old Abe" at close hand, and to Lear his voice. The demand upon his "LADIES. COD BLUSS YOU ALL" time was u matter that probably had not occurred to them. Long, lank, haggard and embarrassed, the president certainly looked as if, in the depths of his generous heart, he were silently wishing that this addi tional burden had not been laid upon him. His sorrowful dark eyes were far sunken under cavernous eyebrows. Ills thick, dark hair lay wildly at cross-purposes over his head. His large nose loomed above a wide mouth set in a heavy, muscular framing which looked as If it had never smiled. Tho Youth's Companion says that each one of the women, as she shook hands with him, had tried to say some pleasant thinp. and he had gravely and perfunctorily replied with an expres sionless "Thank you." The moments were getting fearfully long, and trying to the president. "Could we not get out?" a lady asked, lu a whisper. Just then a dear old Quaker lady took the long-suffering giant's down etretched hand. She had to rise on tip toe, and as she did It her sweet voice uttered some words difficult to catch. But their effect was easy to see. As when the lights suddenly blaze behind a cathedral window, fo tho radiance il lumined thoso rugged features and poured from the wonderful eyes. The gaunt form straightened. The mouth oecaino beautiful in its sweetness. It Is not possible to give tho words of either exactly, but this was their support: Yes, friend Abraham, thee need not think theo stands alone. We aro all praying for th'ee. Tho hearts of, all thi people are behind thee, and thee cannot fail. The Lord has appointed thee, th Lord will sustain thee, and the pcopli love thee. Yea, as no man was evei loved before, does this people love theo We aro only a few weak women, but wi represent many. Take comfort, friend Abraham. God is with theo. The peo plo are behind thee." "I know it." The great, soft volet rolled solemnly and sweetly forth from the trembling lips. "If I did not havt the knowledge that God is sustaining and will sustain me until my appointed work is done, I could not live. If 1 did not believe that the hearts of all loyaj people were with me, I could not endur it. My heart would have broken lonj ago. "You have given a cup of cold watej to a very thirsty and' grateful man Ladies', you have done me a great kind ness to-day. I knew it before. I kne that good men and women were praying for me, but I was so tired I had almost forgotten. God bless you all!" i Lincoln to tlic Jury. Mr. T. W. S. KIdd says that he onc heard a lawyer opposed to Lincoln try ing to convince a jury that precedent was superior to law, and that custom made things legal In all cases. When Lincoln arose to answer him ho told tin jury he would argue his case in the sam way. Said he: "Old 'Squire Bagly, from Menard, came Into my office and said: 'Lincoln, I want your advice as a law yer. Has a man what's been elected justice of the peace a right to Issue a marriage license?' I told him he had not; when tho old 'squire threw himsell back in his chair very indignantly and said: 'Lincoln, I thought you was a lawyer. Now Bob Thomas and me had a bet on this thing, and wo agreed to let you decide; but if this is your opinion I don't want it, for I know a thunderin' sight better, for I have been 'squire now eight years and have done it all th time. " Lincoln nml IIIn IIoj-n. It was a frequent custom with Lincoln, this of carrying ills children on his shoulders. He rarely went down street that he did not have one of his youngei boyg mounted on his shoulder, while ajiother hung to the tall of his long coat. The antics of the boys with their fa ther, and the species of tyranny they ex ercised over him, are still subjects of talk In Springfield. Mr. Itoland Dlller, who was a neighbor of Mr. Lincoln, tells one of the best of the stories. He was called to the door one day by hearing a great nolso of children, and there was Mr. Lincoln striding by with the boys, both of whom were walling aloud. "Why, Mr. Lincoln, what's the matter with tho boys?" he asked. "Just what's tho matter with the whole world," Lincoln replied. "I've got three walnuts, and eacli wants two." Her lletori, "Your eyes, my dear, and your smile aro Intoxicating," ho told her in his jocular way when sho criticised tho con dition in which he came from tho club. "Even if they are," sho retorted, "they never gave you that breath.1' Chicago Post. How Tlu-y Hale JSnch Other. "Well," said her neighbor, "this Is a regular old-fashioned winter, isn't it?" "Oh, Is It?" she returned. "Really, you know, I can't speak from experience about old-fashioned winters, not having been hero when you used to have thai kind." Chicago Record-Herald. LINCOLN was remarkable for his humor and his fund of anecdote, both in his conversation and his public addresses, used to illustrate somo point or argument ho was en deavoring to impress upon tho mind of his hearers. Ho has often been ac cused of coarseness, sometimes vul garity, ,in this respect. Secretary Seward onco said in reply to this charge: "I am convinced that Mr. Lincoln has been greatly wronged in this regard. In all his intercourse with men, embracing governors, sena tors, congressmen and others I never heard him utter a remark that would havo been out of placo if uttered in tho presence of ladles. Tho trouble ia that many foul-mouthed men In tho country havo put theso vulgarities in Mr. Lincoln's mouth In their own imagination, using his name to give forco to their attempts at wit. Mr. Lincoln was tho purest-hearted man with whom I ever camo in contact." After tho confederacy had been crumbled into ruins and Jefferson THE BOY AND Till! COON Davis, its president, had been cap tured, and confined, tho govern ment wns worried with tho ques tion as to what they should do with him, and it came to bo a pretty general re mark that "we had an elephant on our hands." He was guilty of treason and hanging was tho punishment for this crime, but there were few of our states men who favored that, although It was hard to see how they could consistently give him his liberty. One day a loading minister called on Mr. Lincoln and asked him what he was going to do with Jeff Davis. "Well," said Mr. Lincoln, "I believo I can nnswer that question by telling you a story. There was onco a boy in Springfield who bought a coon, which, after tho novelty wore off, becamo a great nuisance. One day, after ho had been dragging the coon through tho streets with a rope attached to tho ani mal's collar, he sat down on the curb stone completely fagged out and dis consolate. A man passing by stopped and asked him what was tho matter. Oh,' was the reply, 'tho coon is such a trouble to me.' 'Why don't you got rid of him, then?' said the gentleman. 'Hush,' replied the boy, 'don't you see that he is gnawing his ropo off? I urn going to let him do it. Then I'll go homo and tell the folks that ho got away.' " During tho course of tho war a friend asked Mr. Lincoln one day how many men tho confederates had in tho field. "Twelve hundred thousand," was the prompt and decided reply. The inter rogator in amazement exclaimed: "Is it possiblo that they havo that largo number?" "Yes. sir," said Mr. Lincoln, "1,200,000; there is no doubt of it. You sec all of our generals, when they get whipped, say tho enemy outnumbered them from threo or five to one. 1 must believo them. Now we havo 400,000 men in tho field. Three times four make twelve. Don't you see? It is a simple problem in arithmetic." In the beginning of the wnr, a Moth-, odlst friend onco said to him: "I hope that the Lord is on our side." "I am not at all concerned about that," said Mr. Lincoln, "for I know that the Lord is always on the sido of tho right. But it ; is my constant anxiety and prayer that I anu uus nation should be on the Lord's side." Gettlnr Awny from It. "Here's your room," said the good natured landlady. "Now we'll try and make you feel at home." "Don't do It," replied the now boarder. "Everything at homo made me tired; that's why 1 camo here." Philadelphia Press. Wiirrniilcd to Stlulc. Customer I undorstaml your porous plasters have become very popular? Druggist Oh, yes. everybody wha tries 'em becomes very much attached to 'em. Yonkcrs Statesman. AVcll Worn. "His face has such a worn look!" "Nc wonder; he has been traveling on it lor nearly 40 years." Puck. ive often heard ot (Popid, 5?A tvarZAp AVrtn n? fljrf'' Tne toy uish boyose tfieresty'cy.) s pierany tehdpr ipariS 'Tome tfo tate is stupid Armani a dau and uear. wandered near r Cup id litfiout ifiestyhteSr- 3fer Js"trvp hehadaout&r -wJw'ouivprina.oT'bi arm yhat seemed more 're a shiver, vbufdsuch 9 chfa do norm? 7ii not thof- am torf-tem. Aftowt indeed, Loves joy ELt is -son? wtwxzsjil'il g )ramMmy. B Mm VALENTINE THERE was no good reason why tho comic valontlno should havo hurt young Pooloy, but it did, hurt him, though ho hugged the mortifi cation to his bosom with Spartan for titude and laughed bo much at it that no ono in tho family circle suspected that ho did not enjoy it as much as they evidently did. Tho points of resemblance between tho valontlno clerk and Pooloy woro not striking. Pooloy's earn woro of normal size, and did not flap from tho sides of his head in a manner suggest ive of an alarmed olophant, nor was ho in tho habit of decorating thorn with quill pens. They would hardly havo known a quill pen in tho olllce If they had seen ono. Then, ho had rather a good nose long enough to express sagacity, but not sti long as to smear the columns of figures in tho ledger before him when ho waa work ing at his desk, nor was it of a bright crimson color. Ho did not wear a grass-green coat or red and bluo sheckered trousers and purple-striped shirt cuffs, and, bolng a rather mod ist and well-conducted young man, tho charges of snobbery and bump tiousness in tho atrocious doggerel bo- CALLED HIS FRIEND'S ATTENTION TO IT. low tho valentine scorned singularly Hat and inappropriate. But it was truo that ho was a clerk, and, though ho had never considered that dis graceful, it somehow seemed to him now to afford ground for tho sneer. At tho least, Poolfcy thought. It showed that somebody disliked him probably honestly believed that ho was snobbish and bumptious, so that his maligned ears tingled and ho burned with resentment every tlmo. tho comic valentine met his eye. That was quite frequently, for ho had taken particular pains to have it pinned abovo his little work table In tho sitting-room Just to show how llttlo ho cared. When friends came in lie was sure to call their attention to it. In addition to this, Pooley spent much tlmo speculating as to who had sent tho thing. He compared the hand writing on the envelope that had con tained It with tho handwriting of his friends nnd acquaintances, and camo to many conclusions, tho result of which was .that his friends began to complain among themselves of a cer tain change In his manner a lack of tho old warmth and frank kindness, and a cold and distrustful air. Tho evil influence lasted for exactly ono year. For some months before tho St. Valentine's day following ho had been more than slightly under another in fiuence. It had pretty golden hair and bluo eyes and Its namo was Margaret. Margaret waa a friend of his sister, and had been to Pooloy's house several times. YVoiioVi-cmI AVIuit Sin- .M-uul. Charley LItewato (to hia chum) What tho deuce do you suppose Miss Cutting meant Just now, Uawge? George Why, what did she say, CJholly? Charley Why, when I asked hor Putin py hearitfc Jotms 6om Sons aid ' ot!saucy.boy; tforwhen sow my ffiiis; the fob fin her sweeT evei fitrtrt imfheart more SKftrfciiott? 'flufrever Cup id flies . fyeretetmutiparf'and'fipdme (capfaro made in raptffroT Ore $vp:d Strung his bou7 , So sound no more his Praljc -ttis arrow useess tps , 7or$upid has no power OogreaTas rfiiuis eyes. So it happened that Just before St. Valentino's day Pooloy spent quite an extravngant sum of money in tho pur chaso of nu arrangotnont of laces, rib bons, vlolota and amatory verso, which ho directed with hlfl gloved left hand, and mailed secretly. On tho morning of St. Valontino'B day ho himself re ceived a modest llttlo card which seemed to glvo him inordlnato delight. His slstor noticed it, and wanted to seo what his card was, but Pooloy firmly refused to gratify her curiosity. "It's another comic ono," declared tho slstor. "You'ro afraid to show it." Her remark Bomohow dashed Poo ley's pleasure. Ho was nervously ap prehensive for tho rest of tho time that ho was in tho houso. Ho start ed at tho sound of tho postman's sec ond knock, and folt an unaccountable sinking of his spirits when ho re turned homo that evening. It was a ploasant surprise to him, therefore, when ho found nothliiK worso than Margaret not that she, had tho appoaranco of awaiting him; in fact, sho noemed rather surprised than otherwise to seo him, though, of' courso, it was natural enough that he. should bo at his own homo. Tho sister was good-nntured, and sho went away and left Pooloy to entertain. Margaret. Tho tulle, somehow, turned on valentines, and sho said oho had re ceived ono that sho liked very much indeed. Sho described it as conslst- ing of violets, lace, ribbons and poetry. Tho poetry, sho thought, was sweot, but she blushed as sho said It, nnd it sounded better than that. Pooloy said ho had received a Valentino, too, and ho felt encouraged to say some things nbout it and things In gen eralthat put them on exceedingly familiar terms in tho courso of about five minutes. "Well," said Pooloy, at last, "this is a different Valentino's day to last year's to me. Did you ever, seu that thing? Do you think it looks like mo? I'd like to know what Idiot sent it." The last words ho spoke In a bitter tone. Tho pent-up resentment of a year was In his voice. Then he looked down at his new valontlno. Sho waa white, and looked shocked and frightened. "What Is it, Margaret?" asked Pooley, with much concern. "Oh!" sho cried, bursting into tears, "it wus I Bent that horrid thing. I I didn't know you then and and It wo woro Bonding a lot of them tho girls and nnyway, I know it was cilly, but I didn't think it would hurt anybody's feelings and to think that it was you! Oh, I'm so unhappy, and I'll never" "Oh, pshaw!" said Pooley. "Yo don't think I minded! Why, L though It was u good Joke but it's a better ono this year." Then ho took down the comic valen tine and gazed fondly on tho atrocious clork, then folded It up tenderly and put It Into his breast pocket. Chicago Daily News. If I might be her valentine, she said: "Sentimental or comic?" Judge. To an Olil Swc-olhonrt. 'TIh tlmo for valentines, my deur; You Jilted mo, l think, last year, And 1 should now rovlve tho Hume, Uut, KooHneHs, Pvo tort'ot your numi. Dtiolt Free L'resu. mm