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About The Nebraska advertiser. (Nemaha City, Neb.) 18??-1909 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 1, 1899)
I Y IH r Vf ',. !! ' . R &--- w "Kurnel . His Bill Was a Oood One, But It I By M. d H sg-e-e "Very fair, bahvery fair for this sca sou of the j car," saijl, Ktirjiel Hunker, as he drained his glass and set It on the, railing' tf (he veranda. ''VUid now, sah, you want to hear-about what was called " 'Kuril el" Hunker's Purge Hill,' which would have made u paradise of the state of Arkansaw had It become a law. The Mate of Arkansas, hah, as you may have observed, is the natural home pf the. mosquito, the gallinippcr and bev 'ral varieties of llicb. It has been my proud boast, and the proud boast of other prominent residents of the state, that only within the confines of the state does the horse-fly reach a lux uriant extravagance of growth. Here he passes tliu fly-stage at the age of lotir weeks and becomes rather a bird of prey. Here you find the gallinippcr at his best here the mosquito would be able to pull down u young chicken If the summer lasted a month longer. In a way, sah, as showing what nature can do and does for us, I speak of these In sects with pride; but on the other band I am compelled to rcalizp that they are a drawback to civilization and progress. It was for this reason that 1 Introduced the celebrated Purge Bill. Of eo'se you saw It referred (o in the press at the time?" He" waited for me to reply, but I was so long about It that he bestowed a glance of pity and continued: "After extensive reading and many experiments I framed and introduced my bill. I have several printed copies at homo, and will mail you one to-morrow. The bill, sah, provided for the purchase and use of $1,000,000 worth of chloride of lime. Ten thousand persons were to be appointed to scatter the stuff throughout the swninps and lagoons of the state. The idea was to disinfect and annihilate at the same lime. In my experiments, public and 1 ; si COIIK TO FlfiHT A DUEL WITH A CIIOW HAH. private, 1 had proved that chloride of lime was a sure annlhilator. The idea was a new one to our legislators, and like all new ideas it brought criticism and ridicule. It was Majah Maker who offered a substitute for my bill. He moved that the sum of $1,000,000 be ap propriated to found four new Idiot and lunatic asylums, and that one of them be located in my town. J did not lose a moment in waiting upon the majah. J found him in a commit tee-room, and addressing him as one gentleman ad dresses another I said: " 'Majah Maker, the grounds of my friend, Kurnel Tremaii, arc only across the way, and these two gentlemen will aio doubt act as our .seconds.' "The majah was game, sah, as I am happy to state. In another ten minutes we stood with pistols in our hands, and I had selected the spot in which to plant my bullet. We were about to get the word to fire when he lowers his pistol am says: " 'Kurnel Hunker, I am heah to fight, you, but it has just occurred to me to ask why we should shoot at each other'." " 'Mecause of your substitute for inv bill.' "Then the cat came out of the bag. Kgud, sah, the nuijah, who is a wry absent-minded man, had caught it lhat my bill provided for spending a million dollars a year to raise sunflow ers to keep the ague away. He was with me heart and soul on the insect question, and was ready to contribute ten barrels of 'lime as a free gift. You can't shoot a gentleman who is laboring under a misapprehension, you know, and so our duel was called otr,. Close s-liuw for the majah, thouyh iniciitv Host- Miuenk. While Twas standing- there, pistol in hand, , the lion, '.lorduti-, (ones was. making a. set spe.ech Vigatnst my. bill In com uifttee'of .tht? whole! He character 1c.d it as a visiouqry and iVxirrtvaganf experiment, born in the brain tf.-u Junntie.'andke. even did not Ifesitute to ------------fc ' Bunker' Didn't Pass the Arkansas Legislature Sf QUAD. (CtfpyrlGhtcd) ATA- K ATA declare that I Jiad apparently outlived my usefulness. Of co'sc 1 waited upon him without, delay. No gentleman .ever procrastinates in such matters. Our greeting was courteous, and the smi.lc never faded from the gentle man's face as 1 said: " 15efo' attacking me as you did this afternoon you must have figured on the 'consequences and are therefo' ready to accord me satisfaction?' " 'With the greatest of pleasure, nab,' he replied, and a meeting was speedily arranged for sunrise. 1 slept like a babe that night and was on the ground at sunrise. The Hon. was only a trifle behind me, but there was a wide. dltVcrimee between us, snh a wide difference. While 1 had an ex ultant feeling, bo'n of the firm belief that he would fall at my fire, he was shaky and 111 at ease, and 1 think he had a presentiment, that death stalked at his side. A fine orntor and a gal lant man was the Hon. .fordon Jones, but not uf the stuff, of which warriors nn; made, Kgud, sah, but I never think of him except in sorrow. We had taken our places and the word was about, to be given, when what did he do but fall dead of heart trouble throw up his hands and fnll like a log! That ended the affair, of eo'se. Xo gentlemnn ever fights a duel with a dead man. I should have killed him, but I reckon it was better as it was. Should a person of color be visible from your standpoint you might place me under renewed obligations." He was promptly and duly "placed," and after an interval of ton minutes he returned to the subject in hand by snylng: "As I conscientiously believed that my bill was for the best interests of the commonwealth, 1 pushed it as vigor ously as 1 could. There were opponents by the doen. Some I brought over to my way of thinking by argument and experiment, and some 1 called out. I cannot recall at tills moment that an. of the duels resulted fatally, but at least a few of them must have, and as I am here alive and well to-day it must naturally follow that the other parties bleep in honored graves. That bill would have gone through a-flying with an appropriation of SflO.OOO, but I had introduced it according to war tactic1 crush your enemy with one blow. The idea was to make such a wholesale at tack all along the line that the peshv insects would tie knocked out in a dn,. I made the fight of my life on that bill, sah the fight of intv life. On one occa sion I spoke for fo teen hours on a stretch, and on another 11. If m, memory serves me right I issued nine challenges and accepted six. 1 made 1" set speeches, won over U- weekly pa pers and adjourned the senate eight dif ferent times when the opposition had fixed things to down mo. At length I cuino to know the head and front of tin. opposition was the goiernor himself, and that he had used certain disparag ing remarks of a personal nature. 1 called on him at 11 o'clock at night. He, refused to comedown and open tin doah, but stuck his head out of a cham ber window and asked my business. " '(iowrnor.' snjs I, 'is the report that you haw referred to jne us a lslonnry noodle-head correct'.1' "'It Is,' he promptly replied. "Will you ghe me satisfaction?' "'I will.' "('an I hope to greet on on the field of lionnli at sunrhe'." 'Vim can: ami now yet out or I'll whistle for the police!' ' "That wtis the sort qf governor vw had, sah," i xplalned the. Kurnel Jn an injured tone, "and it may not-surmis.- j yon. to hear that he readied the duel ing ground next mornljig with a crow b,ur on his thotilder. -Yes, sah coim? t,o Aglft n duel wiilj. a niggerVcrow-bar. nv.il ho wik t!tjj auutive ataiiu if! . As a gentleman I could not resort to such n vulgar weapon. Indeed, sah, as a gen tlemnn I could not light at all with a person who resorted to such practices. I turned ihy back on him, snh turned my back and walked off the field and denied that I had ever htard his nanus I went further, sah. As a prominent member of the senate m.v honnh for bade me further relations with the gov ernor, and 1 promptly packed up my belongings and went home for the rest of the session. My purge bill was dead, of eo'se, and I was no longer on hand to defend It, but the day may come, sah the day 111113 come"" "When, what, Kurnel V" 1 asked. He h!oked mournfully at his empty glass ami fanned himself with his hat. DIES AS HE EXPECTS" SUCCESS. I11I111 lloiirUc, 1111 Iiniii't'iiiiliiui In. H'lilor, U!tlrN UIiHp 'IVIIItiK 'I' lint (iiMiil I, nek In nt IIiiikI. While telling his companions of the money he expected in a few days from one of his (mentions, .lohn Uourke died the other night in his clialr In the Model lodging house, Chi cago. For the last week Kourke, who was 00 years old, had been without money, and while allowed to sleep in the lodg hi house he had been unable to pur chase sufficient food, and hud grown weak and emaciated as a result. For years he had been at work on a gas engine which he had invented, and a patent had been applied for. He was without means to perfect, his models, but recently through friends in On tario he had succeeded in interesting Prank P. McOrath, a retired wealthy manufacturer in Grand Kapids. Mich'., in-bis scheme, and from letters found in his possession it was learned that McGrath had agreed to advance all the money necessary to perfect the machine and place it on the market. Sitting in the office of the lodging house tlie old man was telling his companions, less fortunate than him self, of the turn the title was about to take in his favor, and how, in a few days after lie had recehed his first installment, he would treat them all to a good dinner, when his hands sudden ly dropped to his sides his head fell forward on his breast and he was dead. Little is known of the old man by any of his companions in the lodging house. He had spend nearly all his time working on drawings for his in vention. He was a Canadian and had confided to Clerk Seymour, of the lodging house, that lie formerly had held ex cellent positions in the dominion, hut as to the reason for his leaving there or concerning his life in Chicago he had little to say. His body was removed to Colston's undertaking rooms, 2: Adams street, where an inquest was held. EXCELS MARCONI SYSTEM. W. A. V.tUly Able l Trniiiinlt Vlr I CNN MfNNIIKCH lll-Mvi'l'll Tn IvItCN Wlllitiut 11 ilit(tr. Marconi's Is not the only telegraphy that will send messages without Wires. According to W. A. Fddy, the kite ex pert of Hayoniio, ?s. .1., it is equally easy to accomplish the same result' with wires fastened to two ordinary kites. Mr. Kddy believes that if the two poles of sending and reception extend high enough into the air enough elec tricity will be generated from the at tnos.phere to do avvny with the storage batteiies and complicated telegraph in struments used b.v Marconi. A kite was raised ton height of 1,000 feet. Four hundred feet awav nnnilii-r wire of the same length was attached to two kites, fastened to the main wire in a sort of a V-diaped branch. Xo bat tery or electrical apparatus of nnv kind was connected with the kites. Mr. Kddy took his place at the single wire kite. He made the connection be tween it and the ground, and Instantly a shock was felt by his assistant on the other wire .100 feet away. Mr. Kddy brought the shifting hook against the wire with shon. irregular blows, something like a telegrapher'.-, clicks. They were all felt by his asso ciate at the other wire. It took ten ceconds for each blow on the single Idle wire to pass up to the kite, shoot off through space and come dow 11 on the double kite wire. With telegrapher's instruments o' only ordinary delicacy Mr. Ktfdy Is con fident a message could be made to travel in a much less time. Why Me C011I1I Affiinl . Hick How neat Tom alwuvs Is! His linen always looks u if it hail Juat come out of the drawer. And jet I am tolii 1 that Tom can't get the money togetlur , to pay his laundry bill. .lad; That's the reason he can put on a cloan collar every dav . He cnuldn'i do it if he had to pn.v for his washing. -iioston Transcript. Ri'jtilj i lies 1 l "Ynup liniin!'" s.'iirl t In. )..'..., ... I '" " ""- ivill iiv1' vuiiii sel In oncludiiig his address, "vve wll now r?st." "So ivill the court," (piled the indtre. With n sjgh of relief. riitVnuo Post. A' early Correct.. TeacherWhat's 1 lie meaning of ."elo cution,," Harold'.' Pupil It.'s the way people are ptil' ta demit -in. fc'omu sums, Puck! ." ty.iz&i.. ijtf&T'Hty&zt- n MX, ',$ vt- J! ' WvMfS ,l"W"'WN,V,WW"'WV PLANTING ROAD TREES. Timely MiiKUCMtUutN Oltornl by Prof. P. A. WiiiikIi, uf the Vermont 12icrliuiit Ntiitltin. The distance between trees in the row vlll be Influenced somewhat by the width of the street. In a wide 'street, where there is room enough for the full development of each tree, they will be planted further apart. If the street Is wide enough, the trees should always stand between the walk and the curb. It is wide enough if, from curb to curb, the width is one iimf n half (linen the distance recommended for the trees in the rows. On a narrower street, trees should stand between the walk and the buildings or should be dispensed with. I Ml .... . . - mere are many nenumtu streets In this country which support four rows of 1 trees. Such streets should have the central aveuue twice as wide as the dis tance between trees in the row; and the instance net ween the two rows on C;j PALM AVKNUE AT HAVANA. either side should be somewhat less than that between trees. The American elm is doubtless the commonest street tree in America. It has many undeniably good qualities to recommend it. And .vet there are seri ous objections to the elm as a street tree, besides the fact that it is often de foliated by caterpillars of various spe cies, as, indeed, are many other trees. The elm varies greatly in size and form, and it is almost Impossible to find a long street of old elms which docs not SiilTer from the sad neglect or uniformity which this variability introduces. The elm is also one of the least formal of our trees, and so detracts from the unity of the geometrical idea in street plant ing. It would be silly to advise planters to discard the elm altoircther: but It will not be too much to suggest that some other S7ieeles should always lie duly considered. The maples are excellent street trees, especially the sugar maple, and many admirable examples of their effect ic r.css are to be found in the northern states. The sugar maple is a strong, healthy grower, with a regular, clear cut outline, and has the advantage of a i'vy tidy appearance through the win ter months. In southwestern states the soft maple, or silver maple (Aeerdasy enrpuin), takes the place of the sugar maple, but is not so good 11 free. The American s.vcnmore is one of our finest street trees in many situations. Anyone who does not know how beauti ful this species is should study tl f- fcets produced by it in Washington, especially in the magnificent avenue just w est of t lie capitol. The sycamore docs not succeed north of Massachusetts and central New Vork, but for the greater part of the 1'iilted Slates it is worth careful consideration. Other species which arc. sometimes used with happy ri Milts are honey lo cust, Kentucky coffee tree, pines ihI spruces. There is a most strlkliur and beautiful avenue leading (u u,,. ,(,,m,.t. meat or agriculture; and there arc some pretty rows of allanUius about the Temple square in Halt Lake ('it v. Oc casionally one will fii.d an avenue of oaks, and if it is a good one there are few trees more satfaetorA. Poplars, especially the eoltouwuod, arc used in the trans-Mississippi Htnt-s. but thev tire usually a poor makeshift, n s Hi. ways veiy gratifying l0 find a good street of trees of nn unusual species, ntitl this Is a thing which (hi-street makers migjit well hold in remembrance. In tropical and subtropical countries some species or palms arc uiic-ccllc!(j s street trees. 0r engraving presents a view or one or the trrandcsf men..,,.. of th.s kind in Hie world. Mie roval palm avenue near lluwn.11. Cubrt. Orange"" Judd Fanner. About two outlets of salt given ivcrv day to each cow, will inciei.se tfieyic'! of butter. As. salt tilt digttjun,' and consequently turns more of the food Into milk,-keep rock salt within rjiv reach of .the caws.- T'ttnn .If.uriia!, .What. dors quantity of 'milk signify 1 mi uiu- ini'iei'-inirnprv Kothlnjj, if. l(e ina'uo ks-nUedge QHtn.npr.U'lv". . a a fi in 1 mi ii :.mlTr' Kn i (i . JKS I ' ife f iilpiiyilte fa-7V- s?v '; COOLING THE MILK. I.CNNrtiK (lie Oniucl(y of TnkliiR Vt Oilorn iiml ArCMtN (lip Pcmiccnn of I'Vriuriitiillnii.. Clean milking by elenn blinds, In as pure a stable ntnumphere u Is obtain able, must be .supplemented by n. rapid and thorough cooling of the milk. Cooling at once lesucns the capacity of the milk to take up odora, iiitcs(h (ho procesu of fermentation, and, if well stirred during (he cooling, the urennv la kipl from rising to (he surface unrt will afterward tnoro surely remain mixed with the milk while being dis tributed front the wngon. These am' valuable considerations for a. nillknumi who desires to give his customers i. good service. For us (he simples! ami best, way to accomplish all these good rcHtiltft 1m fo lia w a tank of Ice water !u u room near or adjoining the nillklng-room Ah fast as the pulls are filled lake im mediately to the tank and pour (ho milk Into tin cans which nre suspend ed lu Ice water. Have an agHalor in the can while being filled. The sim plest iiml best, form for this in not unlike an old-fushloned churic dasher, only make the dasher of a piece of flu six or seven tnche.-v In diameter, sol dered firmly onto the end of n wlro handle, which had belter be galvan ized and have a. loop In (he end to hung il up by. Two or three plungcH with (his Implement in a. can of mlllc each time that n pall la emptied will be found to be very effective in ngi tuttng, and consequently Jn ooollnr, the milk. We liiucn prefer this simple unit ef fective method to any of the moro elaborate and expensive ones, and it Is our experience that milk so (reateel will keep longer than aa (hough ex posed (o the atmosphere In ti lino spray or a thin shect In neither of which cases are any genua removed, but it is reasonably certain that oven under very favorable condltiouH u few are addeil to the milk. Milk or any other fluid will cool much more readi ly when brought. In close contact with water than in air, even (hough tlio air is considerably colder than (ho water. This is especially true of millc: in (In cans or glass jars. If one must-, have an aerator, he should choose ono through which wafer h run for cool ing purposes. -- F. W. jvloHRinnn, in Farmers' Advocate. FOR HEATING WATER. ' IlliiNlriilloii .SliintN n Con trl vnnoo if I'n rllcii In r In(crcN( (o Hi-Itch t Dairymen. Till' There ia no question -about Ihn nrt visability of taking the chill oir tlio water that is given to cattle in the, winter. The problem is to secure a practical, cheap way of wanning the water. The Illustration sIiowh how this may be done. The trough Is raised 1 as shown and a circular opening cut in the bottom. A thick body of whito lead is spread about this opening anil a sheet or galvanized iron in then I IM ATI NO WATJCK FOll COWH. tacked (Irmly down upon (he. lend, a shown. Wnder this is made a box, anil In it is placed a small oil stove. Havu two small holes lu the door and in tho rear wall oT (he box near the fop. With the cover down, a whole (rough ful of icy-cold water can soon bo brought to a temperature where it will be safe for stock to drink it, and that, too, at almost no trouble at all, anil at hardly more than a cent's expense. Orange Judd Farmer. Tlie Cure of AxpitritKUN. Some people need a hint or two (o rfv tuind them of what Is in order "to do1 next." Well, one thing now Is to ciit down the asparagusstraw, shape up the bed and cover well with compost, in the absence of which stable m.'iri tirjer from the horse barn may be Used, (t will do no harm if this covering be six inches dci p. It is In point here also to state that when (he ground freezes up all the asparagus for next K-asoii Is. -lort'd in llic rootxat that time, so thai, while the soil is open and the iimiiurir applied much or the fertilizing princi ple will reaeli the roots this fall. It hurt often been staied that the asparagus plant will rise an inch or more every year; hence, in the course of five or sfx yeat. tlie plants would-be mar the dip ai.d the cut (leg m.Nt h-,.,s.-0 InjK,f ju. detrimental, so that lu shaping the borf and applj ii.g (he top dressing the whole vll be l.epi intact.- St. Louis Wepufilie. .Sett!e the duir, problem wllli a care fully bukfnerd rction. I'Ti'.-biiliviii-ni.... I (i!c;iua will ali.SQirpb.lHrv; , s.JV .' -MflMJ..,,-...