I IIF' JSBH
WhenthiE
GALLERY
BrTmtm B.CLARK
(IB return to America of Mr. and
Mrs. Nicholas Longworth after tholr
honeymoon trip abroad gnvo to
Representative Henry S. Boutell,
Ilcpubllcan, of Chicago, an oppor
tunity to have considerable fun at
tho expense of tho Democrats. It
Is known of courso that ono great
political party looks to Thomas Jef
ferson as tho apostle nnd prophet
of tho slmplo democratlo life, and
U-iPSKa knowing this, Mr. Doutell, who np-
a parcntly had been reading soma
ancient records, tried his bost to
undormlno tho "simple llfo" pedestal upon which
Thomas Jefferson stands.
There were some people apparently who thought
that Mrs. Longworth, who Is cx-Prcsldcnt Rooso
velt's daughter, might return from her honeymoon
trip abroad, whero she was treated in n measure
like a royal personage, in a framo of mind in which
prido waB dominant and that sho might havo lost
Bomo of her American simplicity. Representative
Boutell mado a speech which of courso did not
havo Mrs. Longworth for its
central oubject, but ho In
troduced matters by saying
that she would return to
America, "not Princess
Allco, but the samo modest,
unassuming daughter of tho
president that It was her
wont to bo."
Mrs. Longworth camo in
to Mr. Boutell's speech only
as an lncldout of discourse,
the Republican representa
tive's main intention being
apparently to attempt to re
fute tho statement mado by
Representative Wheeler of
Kentucky that the Republi
can party under present ad
ministration was introduc
ing "truculent sycophancy
and flunkeylom" Into our
Intercourse with representa
tives of foreign powers.
Tho Chicago Republican looked at the Democ
racy's Mississippi chieftain (now a United States
senator), then, turned his eyes to tho then sub
chief tain, Champ Clark of -Missouri, and said:
"I wish to read a few words of Thomas JefferBon."
Tho chieftain looked moro than a bit startled.
"I read from tho 'Complete Writings of Jeffer
son,' by Ford," went on Mr. Doutell slowly. "It
appears from this letter that Adams was Just
about to go as a business agent of Jefferson to
London, and aftor giving him several commis
sions, ho writes:
"'One further favor and I am dono; to search
tho Herald offlco for the arms of my family. I
havo what I have been told wero tho family
arms, but on what authority I know not. It is
posslblo there may be none. If so, I will with
your assistance becomo a purchaser, having
Stearno's word for it that a coat of arms may
bo purchased as cheap as any other coat.'
"So hero wo have tho founder of tho Democratic
party Just dabbling, as it were, In Byncophaucy
not vory truculent as yet."
There was no quick recovery on the part of
the Democratic members from this blow, which,
while directed fair at thoir idol, hit them hard
In glancing. Finally, Mr. Sulzer, tho East side
itatcsman, recovered sufficiently to ask in what
fear It wbb that Jofforson had commissioned a
man to buy the coat of arms. On learning that
It was In the year 1771, Mr. Sulzer said, with nn
Intonation that showed he had found a grain of
comfort in tho thought, "That was five years
beforo the revolution."
The New York ' representative's consolation
morsel apparently was not big enough to go
round among his neighbors with an appreciable
oharo of each. It was a bit hard to learn after
many years that tho man who wrote the Immortal
document beginning with ringing words about
equality; had been trying to buy something which
would go to show that ho was a trifle "moro equal"
than his neighbors; and the blow was like unto
that of a bludgeon, bocauso It was Rhown that the
supposedly Impeccable ono had mora than Inti
mated that a counterfeit, coat was as good as
a genuine one if only it were nobly emblazoned.
The Republicans had a rare time of It over tho
Democratic discomfiture. When !t comes to fun
tho galleries aro gloriously nonpartisan. Tho
humor of the thing was to tho people aloft woll
worth tho knocking of n prop from tho third presi
dent's pinnacle. Things might not have been so
altogether bad for the cause of Mr. Jofforson and
bio house disciples, if Mr, Doutell had been content
to Btop, for everybody recognizes tho weakness
that all human nature even that sternly simple
typj has for crests and other family gewgaws,
"Yes," Bald tho Chicago man, "it was flvo years
before tho revolution. Now, Just beforo tho rovolu
tlon, on August 25, 1776, tho groat foundor of tho
Democratic j)arty, tho introducer of 'truculent
sycophancy into our national administration,
wroto to John Randolph from Montlcello urging
a reconciliation with Great Britain, nnd In that
letter he uses this expression:
" 'I am sincerely ono of thoso who would rathor
be In dependonco on Great Britain, properly lim
ited, than auy other nation on earth, or than on
no nation.'"
The last flvo words of this Joffersonlan pro
nouncement it would seem, If languago moans
anything, point to a deslro on tho part of tho
Virginian Democrat that tho colonics should havo
1
CQyCttJJSfAJY AMD
MAS. UWGWORrf
fMBA
MI sx am
an ownorship cablo of kind connecting them with
ono of tho over-tho-sea powers.
As Mr. Doutell put it: "It sooms posslblo that,
having purchased his coat of arms, Jofforson
feared that on tho declaration of independence
and tho establishment of a republican form of
government it would not bo an available asset,
and so ho hoped that dependonco would contlnuo."
Tho memory of this speech dwells In congress.
It was intentionally light, but it drove homo tho
lesson that frailties of a certain kind aro not
confined to members of any political party.
When in tho future an American citizen dies as
the result of eating adulterated food that has boon
an article entering into Interstate commorco, a
coroner's jury will bo Justlflod In bringing In n
verdict of oulcldo. In ordor not to bo too hard on
tho deceased, tho jury may give tho causo as
caroleBsness, but whichever of tho twain tho ver
dict be, the "recently died" will bo hold responsi
ble. The pure-food bill which passed Congress is
n strong measure. Prolr to Ha passage it was
tho causo of moro misunderstandings, moro sus
picions and of more abuse of men and moasuros
than was any other which congress thought it
worth whilo to consider.
Representative James R. Mann of Chicago
piloted the bill through tho houso. Ho was ox
pounder and exhorter, and during the greater part
of four days bo held the interest of tho seasoned
mombers as a school teacher holds tho interest of
wide-open-eyed children to whom tales of a hither
to unknown nre told and It was tales of the
hitherto unknown that Mr. Mann told to the
Washington-gathered children of a largor growth.
For amazement and curiosity, for Interest and
indignation thoro was no sceno of the winter in
tho big hall of congress liko unto that enacted
whllo tho Hyde Park representative set forth his
wares in bottle and in box and gavo his colleagues
full knowledge of tho indigestible and poisonous
stuff that the stomach of the American had boon
taking to Its own all the years under the sacred
names of food and mcdlclno.
Tho houso has upon most occasions tho saving
graco of taking things in part humorously. A
Joko saves many a situation, assauges anger and
disarms tho man whoso tongue under stress of
temper becomes n sharp weapon.
Thcro wore few Jokes during the discussion of
tho pure-food bill. The subjoct was as deadly
serious as wero some of tho "food" products dis
played on tho Chicago representative's desk. Once
, in a whilo the gravity wob relieved by a quip,
but as n matter of fact tho joko of tho thing was
of the past a hugo Joko, If a grim ono, cracked
by food preparers and medicine manufacturers
at tho expense of tho stomachs and tho llvors of
tho Amorlcan peopto.
Mr. Mann told of an , American firm that bad
been Importing rotten yes, rotten eggs, which,
after treatment with boric acid, wero sold to
candy-makers and cako-bakers, Mr. Gaines of
Tennesseo expressed grntltudo that tho imports
did not get into eggnoggs. Tho laugh was faint.
Every member was thinking of tho candy an,
tho cako and stomachs of tho child multitude.
The half Iisb never beon told in tho publia
prints of the food frauds which Roprosentatlvo
Mann disclosed in the time ofton extended
alio tod to him to press this bill to a passage,
Bomo of his exhibits wero ground "coffee" mado
of roasted beans, oats, pilot bread, charcoal, red
Blate, bark and date stones; cinnamon made of
sawdust; whole popper made of tapioca and lamp
black; cocoa mado of walnut shells nnd oxldo,
and n thousand nnd ono other foods ndultorntod
in a thousnnd and ono ways.
Tho drinks wero worse. From tho exposition
mado in tho houso and in Ihls oubject an Interest
doopcr than any draught that ho had ever taken
was shown by ovory member it would soem
that the man who leads a frlond to tho bar nnd
asks what ho will havo glvos his frlond no choice,
for the bartender will sot out what tho spirit
moves, and it soldom will move a pure spirit.
The members of congress learned by formulas
presented, boarlng tho nnmo and address of deal
ers, that skim milk masquerading as crenm Is a
dccoptlon of babo-llko Innocence compared with
tho "puro domestic" and "flno Importod" whiskies
and cordials which aro set forth for tho damnation
of n drinker's stomach .If hot for tho damnation
of his soill. Tho hopo may bo expressed, possibly
without Incurlng tho charge of vindlctlvoness, that
In this cabo tho curse roturns to roost behind tho
bar.
To Representative Henry T. Ralnoy Is duo large
ly tho -fact that tho bonos of John Paul Jones rest
in tho land for which ho fought. It .was tho Illi
nois Democrat who first took up tho matter of tho
search for tho commodoro's remains and who
started tho Investigation which later mado Gonotal
Portors work posslblo.
Mr. Ralnoy never has beon
given credit In full tor his
Bhnro of the labor, for
modesty has hold him
silent.
Congress at tho outset
did enough to dlscourngo
ton mon of ordinary en
orgy from carrying on tho
quest for anybody's bonos.
Mr. Ralnoy refused to bo
gibed out of his purposo,
and although ho could not
tnduco his colleagues to
tako him altogether seri
ously, ho followed tho bent
of his bellof In other direc
tions nnd now John Paul
Jones rests at Annapolis.
Tho IlllnolB member In
troduced n resolution pro
viding for tho finding and
for tho removal to Amer
ica of the Scotch sailor's rotualnB. Tho resolution
callod for an appropriation of $10,000 to pay tho
expenses. Then tho fun began. Tho mockers In
tho houBo declarod that tho commodoro wob burlod
deep in a cemetery undor nillllon-dollar butilnesB
structures on tho Ruo Grande Aux Dolles or on
the Rue des Eclusos Saint Martin or on several
other rues which tlioy could not pronounce.
Congress In Its humor had tho aid and Jocose
correspondents, who saw tho raro Jest In tho bones
search and mado tho most of It. And hero recol
lection brings a blush of contrition to tho chooks
of ono who followed In tho train, Members Bald
and correspondents wroto that the French doubtless
gradly would allow tholr business palaces to bo un
dermined and toppled to ruin on tho payment of
$10,000 of Yankoo cash.
If Yankco chock, the representatives said, aided
by French politeness, could nccompllsh tho purposo
of building demolition, thoro would bo small chanco
of separating Jones' banes with any certainty of
Identity from thoso of tho Frorich sleopern In the
old uembtory. One scoffer suggested with flno Irony
that thoro might bo a bit of tho original Scotch
skull left, nnd that Sidney Smith's rule might bo
applied to mako positive, tho identification.
Mr. Ralnoy was undisturbed. Ho was not oven
moved to surrender when suggestion was mado that
if tho $10,000 wore sont over to eomo French gravo
digger he would find the old sea dog's bones and
provo their genulnonesH If ho hnd to tattoo tho
sailor's autograph In tho tibia of tho loft leg to
do it
It was two yearB on tho way, but tho laBt laugh
camo, and It was Mr. Rnlnoy who had It, His
colleagues mado amend for tholr scofllng and their
scorning, and now another Jostor of tho past writes
belated word of contrition.
THOMAS xSfSZKSa
THE COLDEST PLACE ON EARTH
What Is said to be tho coldest placo on tho globo
is tho region of Verkholensk, Siberia. . Hero la a
convict station, but during most of tho year no
guards nre needed to keep tho prisoners from run
ning away, for In tho moro sovcro portions of tho
winter no living creaturo can remain In tho open,
nnd during tho threo most sovero months, when
tho tcmpuraturo sometimes falls to 85 degrees be
low zero, no ono dares to vonturo out for moro
than a fow moments at n tlmo.
Ordinary steel . tools will snap liko glass, and
unseasoned wood, becomes almost no hard as
steel. When ono breathes u powder liko tho vory
finest snow fnllB nt one'B feet. It Is said that there
aro less forms of Insect life hero than elsowhoro
in tho world, and sotno of thoso found are not
found olBowhcro, seemingly having been created
especially to Inhabit such a frigid region.
Some of the Blgnal-sorvlco officials doclaro that
most of the severe cold waves that sweep across
tho North Amorlcan continent havo their origin In
Verkholensk. The wind blows a perfect galo almost
all the time, and that discomfort, added to tho low
temporature, would certainly mnke this a very un
pleasant placo In which to Bpend tho winter.
No Help.
A St. Louis trnyollng man, making his first trip
through North Dakota, woke up ono May morning
to find tho ground whlto with snow.
"For Heaven's sake," ho asked the hotel clork,
disgustedly, "when do you have summor out In
thlB country?"
"I don't know," replied tho clerk, "I have only
been hero 11 months." Success.
Carstair's Friend
By LOUISE MERRIFIELD
"It's such a bully llttlo retreat,"
Carstalrs explained on tho way tip
tho valloy from tho Btatlon. "I
haven't been horo for sovcral years,
but I can tasto tho flsh now from that
loko."
"On your placo!"
"Yep, all of It, Deer too, In season,
otter, 'coon, fox nil uorta of game. And
Iho houso lo a regular lodgo. Six
rooms, hugo rock fire places, woods
growing clear up to tho doorstep. All
i nave to uo is shut tho uoor, nnu put
on a padlock, and It's thcro when 1
caro to como back to It, Just as I left
it"
"Hlro a caretnkor?" Strcot naked,
casually, "I suppose you havo to,"
"Ten a year to tho first neighbor
down tho road. French Canadian
chap, very decent and awfully oblig
ing, too." Carstalrs beamed out nt tho
landscapo with tho air of a home
coming baron. Ho was still young
enough to tako himself very seriously,
oven htB vacations. Street did not
nnswer. Ho was on tho back scat of
tho rickety carry-all, they had picked
up at tho station bclqw, nnd a good,
solid sense of contentment flooded his
whole being as tho bill ranges un
folded In overlapping vistas, and tho
sunlight suffused tho greon forest
about In golden i;lory. It was Mm
ply great, ho decided, great of good
old Carstalrs to think of him, and
bring him' up for tho season, Ho was
meditating lazily how ho could mako
It up to Carstalrs when tho wagon
turned a bond In tho road, and a
beautiful sweep of lake lay beforo
tbcm, with wooded shores rising stoop
ly on every sldo.
"Hero Is whero wo will rest and
loaf and invito our souls, Roily boy."
CarBtairs stood up to got a hotter
view, and took off his hat in salute to
tho beauty of It all. In tho distanco,
smoko curled up from a whlto rock
chimney among tho trees. But words
died on tho owner's Hps. Not 1G paces
away from them, standing perilously
out on a log In tho water was a girl,
and sho was fishing.
Strcot never forgot tho plcturo sho
made, In a linen skirt, anklo laugth, a
faded, old roBO silk kimono to her
waist, open at tho throat, and short
Bloovcd, and on her head a peaked
Mexican hat, somowhat atllt That
was all they saw, except the long
braid of heavy black hair that hung
down her back.
"I thought you said tho place '.'
Street stopped, for Carstalrs was
climbing out of the wagon, and delib
erately making for tho trespasser on
hlB fish preserves.
"Can you direct us to tho Carstalrs
placo?" ho asked, quito diplomatically,
Street thought, considering.
Sho merely raised ono tannod,
rounded arm, and pointed towards tho
chimney.
"They call that houso somothlng of
tho sort, .1 bollove."
"FiBhing good?"
Then sho did look up at him, grudg
ingly, nppraislngly, looked also at tho
waiting carry-all, and its ancient
driver, and at Street longest, at
Strcot
"Sometimes," sho said, gravely.
"Mostly pickerel and perch. I got all
I need, though."
"Do you Indeed?" remnrkod Car
stairs, and ho eyed her speculatively
through his oyo glasses. "Er who
owns tho placo yonder?"
"I don't know. I havo rented It
from tho caretaker for tho season,
threo months."
"You you have rented It for tho
season from tho caretaker?" Car
stairs dropped IiIb eyo glasses, nnd re
covered thorn helplessly. Sho bowed
her head, and looked over at Street.
"Rent paid In advanco," nho added
firmly. "Thoro aro sovoral of us
summering there,"
"Aro thoro? How dollghtfull I'm
so ginu ypu into it, you Know, so
awfully glad." Carstalrs was floundor
ing desperately. "Because, you boo,
I'm Carstalrs myself, I I bought tho
placo n couplo of years back."
"Did you?" Sho turned with a quick
smllo. "Why, then you'ro our land
lord, nron't you? I'm happy to moot
you."
"Don't mention It," murmured Car
stalrs.
"Because, you know, wo'vo beon so
Inconvenienced. Tho roof leaks."
"It shall bo repaired. My-er yes,
by Jove, my frlond repairs roofs."
"Does ho? Sho smiled over nt
Street "Does he repair wells also, and
locks, and fireplaces that won't burn?
Wo need help badly, I think It was
to kind of you to como all tho way up
hero to sco Jf wo wore comfortable."
That was tho final shot. Carstalrs
capitulated. After promising all tho
Improvements desired, ho climbed
back Into tho carry-all, and ordered
tho driver to go to tho house of tho
caretaker,
"You'ro not going to visit his sins
on tho girl In question, aro you, Sta
cay?" Street asked. "She's n bully
girl. I'll look after tho roof and tho
woll."
"Now, we'll divide up fairly nt tho
start," Carstalrs answered. "You tako
tho roof, and I'll tako tho well. I'm
not going to row with anybody over
this godsend. Well put up at tho
French Canadian house, and say noth
Ing. Did you seo her eyes, Roily,
great Bcott, did you seo her eyes.
boy?"
That was the start For two mouths
through the long, hazy, lazy days of
July and August they remained at the
French Canadian shack half a mlla
from tho lodgo. They repaired every
posslblo thing on tho place that could
bo repaired. And abovo all, they rode.
fished, walked nnd loafed with the
three Kcnyoti girls. Two were sis
ters, Madollno and Lots, but It was
their cousin both Carstalrs and Street
loved, tho girl Under tho peaked hat
Dolly Kcnyon. And comradely, each
waited for tho other.
"You tako first chanco, Roily," Car
Btairs w.ould say, "You've, got the
right of way nuyhow? Aren't you my.
guest? If circumstances wero differ
ent, 1 could choko you nnd throw you
to tho fishes for bait, but, hang It all,
I'm your hoBt Why don't you ask
her, and "got tho agony over with?"
"You don't do that to a friend.
Stncoy," smiled bnck 8treot. "Go
ahead, and let the best man win, say
I. I'm willing to tnke tho chanco.
It's JuBt fate's puro cusscdnoBB any
how. Wo always did havo tho Bame
tasto In llfo, old boy."
"I'd dlo for her," groaned Carstalrs.
dropping his oyo glass out of sheer
helpless norvo tension.
"I know. Street looked un at the
clonr night sky, and grinned. "I'd live
for her."
It was tho next wcok It hanncned.
From tho porch of tho lodge the girls
could look ovor tho lake, and they saw
tho whojo nffalr. Tho two had beoa
out nil tho morning fishing In a light
rowboat. Strcot was seated, CarHtnlra
standing easily at the stern, when he
scorned to lose his balance. At Lois'
cry Dolly was ou hor feet Instantly.
ana bbw Carstalrs fall backwards
Into the lake, and well did she know
tho depth, nnd treacherous under
growth beneath the calm dark waters.
Madeline started on a run down to
wards the Frenchman's for help.
Lois half slipped to tho floor In a
dead faint, and still the other girl
stood motionless and shocked watch
ing tho boat, watching Street as he
took tho dtvo aftor his friend. Then
ho too ran, but not after Madeline.
Down nt tho shore was her own boat
a stocky, well built one, and sho sont
It out towards tho other that floated
ompty on the water, It seemed as
though hor heart wero choking her,
that length of tlmo when Bhe waited
for them to rise again, wondering it
they would over rise, If they might
not be entangled at some awful depth
in that still, dark lake that told no
Bocrots.
And sho leaned out over tho sldo ot
tho boat and called, called tho name
that was In her thoughts always these
days.
"Roland, Roland, I am here!"
It was the tint thing Carstalrs
hoard when he came up, clutching
Street's shouldor, but ho had nerve,
this slim, English chap, and he helped
to put Roland Street Into the boat
with her help, and got back himself.
"Ho's only a bit kuocked out," he
told her, when he could speak. "I
wont down all right, but a snag caught
him on tho head. Poor old boy, when
ho was trying to savo me."
"Will ho live, are you sure he'll
llvo?"
Carstalrs novor forgot her tone or
tho look In hor oyes, as she took
Street's head on hor lap and pushed
back his wet curly hair. It was his
answor.
"Suro as that I am alive mysolf."
he said, fervently,
Sho smiled up nt-hlm, her eyes full
ot tears.
"I guess you know how how very
much I care," she faltered.
"I guess I do," answered Carstalrs.
"It's his winning. And he's a splen
did old boy, Roily Is."
He paused, and attended to his
oars, Street had opened his eyes, and
they looked straight up into the girl's.
"Dolly," ho began. ''I tried to save
him for you"
"And he saved you for mo," sho
broke in, gently. "How big, and splen
did your filendshlp is, Roland."
The two men looked at each other.
To Street thoro camo 'the knowledge
ot what bad happened, how when
death threatened both, each had wil
lingly risked hlo life to save the oth
er, and even with the wonder and
sweetness of this other lovo breaking
over htm, ho know tho bond that had
held Carstalrs truo blue to him.
"I think I'll run buck to town to
morrow, old boy," Carstalre romarked
later, after they had "hanged cloth
ing, and rested back at tho shack.
"When wo both wont undor or she
called you. You don't mind, do you?"
Street, put out his hand.
"Pusslng.tho lovo 6f woman" he
said, slowly. "No, I don't mind. I'll
wait up here awhile, until I can bring
hor bnck with mo. You understand?'
"I understand," said Carstalrs.
Kills Canal Project.
Tho ameer of Afghanistan has been
forced, apparently, to give up an ambi
tious canal project which bo had In
mind for tho irrigation of tho Jelala
bad district It was to be made by
local labor, says tho Pioneer, nnd. as
tho Afghans aro exports in earthwork,
tho project, it was thought, would ba
easily completed. Irrigation by under
ground channels Is mostly In vogue la
tbo plains of eastern Afghanistan, so
that a surface canal would be some
what of a novelty. Tho headword
wero badly damaged some time ago by
heavy floods which came down the
river, and tho repairs Men to hat
been more than they could maaa.
