THE SEMI-WEEKLY TRIHJHE
IIIA h. DAUB, Publisher.
TEIIMS, 1.25 Itf ADVANCE.
NORTH PLATTE,
NEBRA8KA
THE PRICE OF PROQRE88.
The historic rcluctanco of Orlcntnl
races to lndulgo In reforms 1b llltlo un
derstood, but time and experlonco will
explain. Theso races nro old In exper
ience nnd In wisdom. Thoroforo, thoy
nro always apprchonslvo of tho ulti
nuito ends to which any reform will
reach, frays tho Detroit Nowh. Japan
has modernized rapidly. It enjoys the
benefits of a very Improved form ol
government. Out of this chango de
velops n Gradual rlso In tho utntuB ol
tho masses and ono of tho conso
miciicos Is a discontent. Alexnnder II.
of nussla emancipated 23,000,000 serfs
In tho spring of 1801, after Riving all
landowners and serf master three
years' notleo to prepare for tho event
and setting his own serfs frco ns an
example. In 1881 the sons and daugh
ters of tho emancipated serfs, having
enjoyed tho boncflt of. education nnd
thereby discovered tho wrongs of tho
past nnd tho oppressions to which tho
poor woro still subject at tho hands of
tho nobles and great land owners, ox
pressed their discontent by killing tho
emperor who had lifted them to tho
status of freo men and women. Rus
sian discontent was fomented by Ml
chael Dnkounln, tho founder of terror
ism In Rtissln. Jrfpan litis her Bnkoun
In In Donjlro Kotoku, n publicist of din
content. Itccontly a band of 30 con
spirators woro arrested upon tho
chnrgo of plotting against tho life ol
tho emperor, and 12 of them havo al
ready boon exocutod. Theso torrlhla
blunders scent to bo unnvoldublo con
sequences of a chango In tho statuB ol
tho pcoplo of any nation, but only the
superficial obsorvor could condemn all
attempts at progress hoonuso, In gov
crnmcnts ns In railroading, thoy In
volvo a certain element of danger.
Rata nro regarded ao tho most dan
gerous propagators of tho bubonic
pliiguo that Is raging In tho East, and
tho matter has boon under considera
tion by tho Russian mllltnry authori
ties ooat of tho Caucasus, Thoy bo
llovo In Wiling off tho rata to chook
the spread of tho dlncaso. Uut somo ol
tho methods thoy proposo to employ
will arouso the spoclul wonder even ol
an ago which Is accustomed to remark
able developments. Tho mllltnry In
spoctor of the district In question has
ltmuod an order In which 1b sot forth
"tho hypnotlo influonco of music, at
employed by wizards and wltchoB,"
will It la remarked that this should nol
bo Ignored. In fact, tho mothods by
which rnt-catchcra can luro tli'dr proj
from tho hiding plncoB nro spoclllod,
and tho ordor conaludos with tho as
sumption that "It Is very poaBlblo that
among tho soldlorB of tho Caucasian
military district thcro, nro such wiz
ards." If thoro Is a plod plpor In the
Russian nnny ho mny now proceed to
get busy.
Ecuador has rojectod the proposition
to submit tho boundary dlsputo with
Peru to Tho HnguQ tribunal. Colombia
has sent a force of troops Into terri
tory claimed by Peru. War Booms In
evltablo between thoso perennial
squabblers, Haiti and Bnnto Domingo
And what looko llko a pretty -full
fledged revolution Is undor way Id
Honduras, sayB tho Troy Times. It
would seem that there aro several un
ruly children In tho International fam
ily of tho wostorn hemisphere who
need a llttlo wholesome dlsclpllno tc
mnko them behave thomBolvos prop
erly.
A woman, with a mandolin nnd a
guitar, has Balled from Now York on o
wager that sho can mako a trip around
tho world on what alio con earn wltb
her music. Perhaps. Thoso who d
not appreciate it may bo glnd cnougt
to pay her to movo on.
Aviators engaged to bo mnrrlod art
withdrawing from noronnutlcs tit th
command of their tlnncooB. No on
can blnmo an engaged girl for obioct
lug to her lovor'a being in tho cloudi
in any othor faBhlon than Cupid's way
"Chicago has lluittod nil Un kw
ncrapora to 200 foot," snya tho Won
York Telegram. Not nil. Merely thost
to bo built botwocu tho tma when th
ordinance goes Into forco and tho tlm
when it shlill bo doclared of no effect
Tho No. 13 la still lookod on aa e
hoodoo In Bomo quartorB, although it li
hardly probable that tho most super
Btltlous person would turn down a gift
of $13,000, while BOmo would not Horl
ously object to $13,
Kilos aro to bo exterminated in Wor
cester, Mubs. A collogo blologls thcro
has formed plans for this cxtermlna
tlon, and tho Btudents will cateh the
flies. It remains to bo seen In the
contoHt who otnya longer In tho ring
the (lies or tho students.
A couthern planter has domesticated
an alligator and is using it for a
"watchdog." However, our notion oi
nothing to havo running around the
house lu an alligator.
WORKING FIVE ACRES
Fruit Growing Is Practical Way
to Make Money.
Pantlng and Cultivation of Young and
Small Orchard Is Slmplo Matter and
Not Expensive Work Should
Be Carefully Done.
In our flno wostorn climnto out-of-doors
work Is both heulthful nnd prac
tical for womeji to n degrco not under
stood by thoso of tho mlddlo states.
Tho sunshiny dnys and tho dry ground
ollmlnnto tho unpleasant clomonts of
out-door work and open to women
many avenues of profltnblo livelihood
not nvallablo to them In tho wot,
muddy conditions of tho states where
tho rain falls so ninny dnys of tho
year, writes Mr. Parker IJarle, In tho
J)cnvor Field and Farm.
My association of many years with
business women of cltlos, nnd tho
knowledge gained of tho grind of
their confined lives In ofllco and
schoolroom lina loft an impression on
my mind not easily gotten rid of
during my practical orchard expert
oncca of tho past five years. Tho im
portant quostlon is: Why do not
moro women raise fruit for a living
hero whero conditions nro fnvorablo?
Application of tho sumo business prin
ciples, which menus success in othor
lines, means greater success, with less
nervo-wcaring conditions, In fruit
growing.
Tho enro of n small .orchard, tho
harvesting, packing and marketing of
tho fruit does not roqulro all of ono's
tlmo nnd energy or every dnyy of
every month of tho year. Somo
months nro left for Iolstiroly enjoy
ment nnd study for bettering condi
tions for tho years to cotno. Fruit
growing ahould bo nnd 1b n practical
way for womon to mnko mortoy. For
Instance thoro is a homo market in
ovory town for strawberries. A small
patch will yield n woman a modest
living If bIio will Investigate soil and
varieties and grow, pick and market
her berries with tho samo care and In
telligent sho must gtvo to nny Inter
est to mnko it succeed.
An ncro of Btrnwborrios, well grown
nnd enrod for, yields from 3,000 to
5,000 quarts, according to variety,
which should not ton conts a quart.
This crop is harvested and ovor in
nbout n month and tho season can bo
prolonged by raising rnapborrlea or
othor small fruits on othor plecos of
ground, llowovor, n moro permanent
business nnd ono that In tho end do
mauds less labor, Is tho growing of
troo fruits apples, poaches, penrs,
cherries, plums and pruncB. For wom
en tho small orchard of five acrea has
many advantages ovor lnrgor von-
lures, depending upon tho kind of
treOB selected for planting an orchard.
Thp numbor of trees on five acroB will
run from COO to 1,000 or possibly
1.G00.
Tho planting and cultivation of a
young orchard of flvo acres Is a aim
plo matter and not expensive, nl-.
though tho work should bo very caro
fully done Tho heavier labor of culti
vation and Irrigation would call for
tho occasional services of a man nnd a
tonm whilo tho supervision and
pruning of young trees can well bo
dono by tho owner horsolf. As tho
trcoa como into bearing, outside labor,
prororably that of womon nnd young
girls, can bo called In for all neces
sary harveBt work.
As for tho business mnnngonient of
tho harvest and tho marketing of tho
crop, tho bright woman who has
grown tho orchard Is Just as capablo
os any neighboring orchard ownor.
And what can bo oxpected from bo
llttlo an flvo acroa Vory llttlo, cer
tainly, for tho first tvo, three or four
years, nnd yet certain chorries,
ponchos, plums and dwnrf pear trocs
begin thon to yield small crops, fully
as much fruit as thoy should bear.
And from this tlmo on ono snfely may
expect increasing annual crops and
that standard trees, pear nud npplo,
shall bo in full bonrlng In from flvo
to eight years,
Qnro of Milker and Utenalls.
Especial caro should bo taken in re
gard to tho condition of thoso who do
Uio milking or havo anything to do
with handling tho milk. Special cloth
ing is ndvlsed to bo worn during tho
milking. That tho worker should care
fully wash hla hands beforo entering
upon tho duty of milking is taken as a
matter of course. Tho milk vessels
Bhould be thoroughly Bcrubbod with
hot wntor containing soda, hud Bhould
thon bo scalded in hoillnir water, nnd
Without rinsing in cold water, Bhould
no turned upside down and allowed tc
stand in tho air until needed fni- nun
and in no ense should thoy bo wiped
wun a rn niter scalding.
Poultry Improvement,
Tho most economical mothod or im
proving n (lock of hens that do not
produce fertile okks is to bow thn
mixed grain over n deep bed of cut
straw. Tfce he'is win gat oxorclBo by
hunting for their corn. Thoy should
have cut raw bono and a remilnr mm.
ply of crushed oyster Bholls nnd grit.
Whon Bnow covers tho ground food
boiled roots mixed with alfalfa moal
and glvo frouh cabbage loavos all thov
will cat. Glvo n good gross range.
If bona are honlthy and fed tho propor
food, but Bttll lay unfortllo eggs,
chnngo the roosters. Cull closoly, and
miuo mo lomnioB wun strong
hoalthy males.
and
Sows In Clover,
Tho brood bows will ont a lot of
clover or alfalfa hay; and he all tho
bolter for it,
FLOW OF IRRIGATION WATER
Question as to Amount of Water Re
quired to Irrigate Sixty Acres In
Oregon la Answered.
"Given four second feet of water for
thrco days, 72 hours, irrigates CO ocroa
of land. How many Inches of water
would it require per aero continuous
flow for lfi dnyB to furnish tho four
second foot for tho thrco days, giving
a period of 12 days between Irriga
tions? Oregon hns taken control of
the waters of tho Btato and in ad
judicating tho water rights It -has
asked us, tho original npproprlators,
bow much water wo require A cor
poration hns contested our claims and
their expert claims that three-eighths
of an Inch of water, continuous flow,
is tho solution to tho nbovo problem.
Wo nro skeptical."
Tho nbovo question Is answered by
F. H. King in the Rural Now Yorkor
in tho following ctatcmctit:
Four second foot of water for 72
hours, applied to CO acrofl of land
would cover It to n depth of 4.70
Inches, and la equal to 1 ,036,800 cubic
feet. Wo do not know tho vnluo of n
legal Inch of wator for Orogon. For
California ono inch of wator is do
fined no equal to onn-flfticth of a sec
ond foot. Court doclslon sots it nt
ono-fortluth of n second foot for Ari
zona. Colorado spcclilcs 38.4 minor's
Inches in ono second foot, if tho Inch
is taken nt one-fortieth of a second
foot it would requlro four times 40,
or 1C0 inches, flowing continuously
three dnys, or 72 hours, to equal four
second feet continuous flow for 72
hours. Thrco-elghtha of a miner's
inch flowing continuously 15 days la
only 9,720 cubic feet, or .044 lnoh of
rainfall on GO acres, at tho California
valuo. and but 12,160 cubic feet or
0GG inch of rainfall on CO ncrco at
tho Arizona valuo. If applied to ono
ncro Instead of to GO acrea tho depth
of wntor, oxprosscd as rainfall, would
bo GO tlmea tho values Just given, or
2.C7 inches, whoro tho California Inch
In tho standard, nnd 3.34 inches if tho
Arizona valuo of tho Inch la taken.
In othor words, three-eighths of a
minor's Inch continuous flow for 15
days is equivalent to 2.G7 Inches to
3.34 inches of rainfall on ono ncro,
whero tho vnluos of tho Inch nro thoso
stated. If thrco-elghths of a minor's
Inch flowing continuously 15 days
glvoa to ono ncro tho equivalent of
2.C7 to 3.34 inches of rainfall, to ap
ply tho samo amount to tho ncro In
thrco days, continuous flow, would ro
qulro flvo tlmea throe-elghtha inch of
wntor, or ono and eoven-elghths,
Clean Barn for Milk Cow.
Tho Btublo in which tho cow Uvea,
nnd pnrticulnrly that In which tho
milking Is dono, should be kept in na
clean a condition na possible. Tho
habit of removing tho cows to. n aop-
urnto room Is ono which In undoubt
edly -very usoful In reducing tho
ehnnco of bacterial contamination. It
la doBlrablo that in tho placo whero
all manure and barnyard refuse in
placod should bo removed an far as
mny bo from tho milking stall, and
no atngnnnt wator should bo allowed
near tho barn. Manure Is not only
a sourco of bnctorla, but it 1b a great
brooding plnco for tiles, which aro al
so u great nulsanco; ono fly falling
into tho milk pall has boon known to
bo capablo of introducing 250,000 bnc
torla in milk.
Winter Eggs.
In my oxporlonco the following rules
favor wlntor egg production. Do not
Voop bono moro than two years old.
Food generously nnd regularly, Havo
plonty of early pullota. Feed conald
orablo corn and ment. Do not over
feed. Scatter tho grain food In chaff
to glvo tho hens plonty of oxorclse.
Sheep Shearing Records.
F. J. Atwood and 8. W. Eldrid, Illi
nois farmers, havo sheared 3,850
ahecp during tho past season, break
ing all provlous records.
DAIRY NOTES.
Dairying nlcka well with nny other
branch of farming.
Tho clothing nnd tho hands of tho
mllkor must bo kept clenn.
Tho growth of tho dairy business
has boon phenomenal in tho last fow
yoaro.
Milk ia most conveniently pasteur
ized in tho bottles In which It is do
llVorcd. Considerable of tho dirt thnt enters
tho milk during milking tlmo comes
from tho cows.
If the cream 'separator runs hnrd,
flush out nil of tho bearings with
koroBone or coal oil.
Bacteria cnuso ropy mill; and nro
usually found In tho milk utensils
and not In tho cow's udder.
Uncleanllncfis In tho milk Is a vory
serious obstnelo to tho making of
either good butter or good cheese.
Dairying takes a llttlo moro caro
than 1b nocoBsnry in beef production
perhnpB. but really tho labor Is no
grentor.
dorms aro overywhoro and it is
ImpoBslblo undor practical farm con
ditions to keep them entirely out of
tho milk.
Unclonnllnc88 counts moro In hnn
dllng milk than It probably does In
nny othor product, whether of farm
or factory.
Got a dairy slro of proved merit,
and thon koop him aB long as you can.
This will mnko for uniformity In your
dairy herd.
Whon tho milking Is done In Btnblon
millions of bacteria often enter tho
milk ovory mlnuto during tho tlmo
it Is oxposod.
An nuthorlty onco remarked that
at a hundred points constant caro is
required In milking It tho milk Is to
bo kept uncontamtnatod.
ITAPPtMlSP
TNTH
No Revolution Talk in Mexico City
MEXICO CITY. Tho capital of Mex
Ico Is. much moro Interested lu tho
performances at tho local thcatora
than in tho rovolution. Two evenings
Dach week, Thursday and Sunday,
thoro Is music on tho plaza and tho
typical music of Mexico has been suc
ceeded by tho fascinating strains of
Lohar'B opera.
No ono here can see that tho revo
lution is being considered seriously
by residents of the capital. It is un
doubtedly worrying President Diaz, al
though revolutions should bo familiar
to him by this time, aa ho was onco
an insurgent himself. No doubt tho
disturbance has kept somo of tho
winter tourists away, but thoro seems
to be as many sightseeing Amorlcans
on tho plazas aa usual.
An American would feel at homo
hero now with tho thrco principal play
houses presenting "Tho Dollar Prln
soss," "Duke of Luxemborg" nnd "Tho
Morry Widow." One of tho minor
theaters has announced an approach
'ng engagement of "Tho Cabin of
Thomas," from which tho American
:olony infers that Eliza la to again
Boo ovor tho .Ice pursued by blood
iounds. Tho plaza parades aro a constnnt
fiellght of tourists, who Join tho prom
Bnudo or watch tho passing show for
Western Town Moved Away on Wheels
CIOUX FALL.8. S. D. Lntnro, a
town of 2,000 inhabitants and
loveral hundred houses, wua put
on wheols tho other day and moved
Jver to Winner, whero.' aa tho
reault of a bittor county scat war and
agreement between tho two towns. It
was consolidated with Winner and as
town ccasod wholly to exist. Store
bulldlngn, with their valuable contents,
tvero moved Intact. Banks, with their
ensh In tho vaults, were put on wheels
ind made tho trip across tho nmlrln.
Without disturbing tho officials, tho
county court houso was hitched to two
Of tho larRCSt traction nmrlnnn nvnr
built and was haulod from Lamro ovor
to Winner, whero it was plnced on a
foundation previously prepared for It.
Tho Lamro hotel, drawn by 72 teams
of horses, mado tho trip without so
much as ceasing business durlnir a
single meal.
Lamro was unlnuo In beinir a town
built by Indians for tho uoo of whito
men. Indians promoted tho town,
lold lots, opened business houses, and
Nebraska May Have 'Vagabond City'
J DQMT THINK MUCH
or ds pjlacf-
GEE HOW THIRSTY
LINCOLN, NEB. Nobraska may soon
havo a vagabond city and all
tramps, drunknrdo or delinquents of
other kinds who drift into thia Btato
will bo In danger of being mado citi
zens of tho now colony. Tho "city"
will not rob tho penitentiary of any
of its prisoners, but Is intended to
tako caro of that large class of unfor
tunates designated by professional
charity workora aa "below tho poverty
line." It will bo tho first Institution
sf Its kind In tho United States and
aa an experiment along untried lines,
Is suro to attract tho attention of so
nologists everywhere. No real crim
inals will be admitted to citizenship,
but only "unfortunates" will bo accept
ed thero.
A bill beforo tho legislature calls
for tho establishment of a colony on
Teaches Four Years
PHILADELPHIA. MrB. Mary E. Ir
win has been teaching for four
years in tho Martin school of this city
without a certificate and without hav
ing graduated from the high school as
the claimed. Her maiden namo was
Mary B. Grcon, Sho desired to teach
but had no certificate and was not
qualified to pass an examination. She
planned to get a teacher's position
and study aa she taught until sho
mado herself competent. This sho
had practically accomplished.
Alt theso ycara she was posing aa
Carrie K. Green, who graduated from
the high school in thp clasB of 1888
Ritd taught until 1S!U, when she mar
I 1 1 1 ID V t
V V 1
M
oEZL
hours, admiring tho bright-facec"
girls and tbotr lynx-eyed chaperons.
Under tho circumstances tho Amer
icana hero aro being treated with the
utmost consideration. It seems to bo
the deolro of Mexican officials to re
tain tho friendship of Americana dur
ing these days of minor Internal dis
turbances, Tor tho nllcnntiou of Amori
can capital would bo a worso dlsastet
than la likely to result from tho in
surgents.
Any antipathy In thia city toward
Americans' cornea, from tho lower
classes, tho professional agitators and
mulcontontB. Thoy sometlmea rally
around tho sentiment "Mexico fo:
Mexicans," but hero in this city thli
clement la in a hopolcsn minority.
It hnB dovcloped alnco tho rovolu
tlon began that it wna financed largely
by Mexicans who llvo In Texas, Now
Moxlco and Arizona, led chiefly by
Flores Magon, onco sontenced to prls
on in California for violation of the
neutrality laws.
Sinco tho trouble began less than
usual has beeh soen of President Dla:
and this started rumora that ho wot
very ill and oven that ho waB dying
A few da8 ago when such mmori
were flying tho President; and Mrs
DInz put an end to tho tales by drlv
Ing through tho city in an opon car
riage and going to a park, whoro thej
walked for an hour.
When tho rovolution wns forming
President Diaz said he would person
ally lead his army if tho situation be
camo serious. That ho haB made nc
movo in thnt direction is taken as an
assurance that the high srfllclala do nol
regard tho outbreak seriously.
finally elected themselves to ofllco. In
dlans woro elected to the offlcca ol
county commissioner, county judge,
county treasurer and to all othci
places.
However, tho Indiana werent last
outgcnoralcd by tho whito njen. Tho
rod men woro familiar with many
things, but thoy did not understand
tho ways of tho American railroad
builders. Lamro waa promoted
while tho railroad waa still 20
mlleo away, but headed In that direc
tion. In fact, tho survey ran through
tho spot upon which tho Indians built
tho town. But the railroad made a
detour Just great enough to put Lam
ro off tho lino of road and tho white
men built tho town of Winner on tho
road and only thrco miles from tho In
dian town. In tho meantime Lamro
had grown rapidly and was a town
of 2,000 people, with all sorts of busi
ness houses.
The pcoplo living at Winner organ
ized a county sent fight and carried
tho matter beforo tho voters at tho
November elections. By agreement
botweon the two towns tho losor
agreed to abandon ito site and move
bodily over to tho winner of tho fight.
Truo to its name, Winner won out by
a small vote, and tho vory next day
arrangements woro begun for tho
houso moving.
tho pralrlea, far from the temptations
of a largo city. Tho slzo of tho In
stitution la not mentioned In tho bill,
but ilB backers think from 5,000 to
10,j)00 acros will bo necessnry onco
tho colony is in full working order. In
addition to a big farming area thero
will bo shops of all kinds, an iron
foundry, a shoo Bhop, a book bindery,
a tailor ohop, a furnlturo factory, a
planing mill and othors of this kind.
Tho output of tho colony will not
como in competition with that of pri
vato concerns, but will bo UBed, in
great measure by tho state in the
different Btato institutions.
When ono coming within thoso lines
Is brought beforo tho proper authori
ties, instead of being sentenced to
tho city Jail or tho stato prison he
will bo sent to "Vagabond City." No
fixed term of Incarceration will bo set,
but tho delinquent will bo simply sent
to the city until ho bocomes self-supporting,
after which ho will bo sent
back to tho world as a man ablo to
tako caro of himself. Whilo in tho
"city" ho will bo taught an occupa
tion or trade.
by False Pretense
rled nnd moved away, Sho is said to
be dead.
Sixteen years after tho real Miss
Green had loft tho school to marry,
her Impersonator applied for a place
and aald her cortlflcato had boon de
stroyed. Tho real Miss Green had
mado a good record aB a teacher and
her Impersonator wbb employed with
out question.
A family quarrel caused her socrct
to become public. A brothor-ln-law,
In a spirit of revengo, notified tho
school board that Mrs. Irwin was not
tho former Carrio E. Green. Members
of tho class of '98 -woro called aa wit
nesses and thpy told Mrs. Irwin boo
had nover been a their claes, but sho
persieted thoy were wrong. Then a
class plcturo was produced.
In a state of collapse, frequently
fainting, Mrs. Irwin insisted through
out the hearing Uiat sho was telling
the truth but the ovldonco against her
was too strong and Bbo waa discharged.
WOMAN
ESCAPES
OPEMTM
WasCured byLydiaE.Piuk
hanrs Vegetable Compound
Elwood, Ind. "Your remedies havp
cured mo nnd I havo onW taken sir
bottles of Lydia 33. Pinkham's Vegeta-
oio uompounu. x
wna aiok thrco
months nnd could
not walk. I Buf
fered nil tho time
Tho doctors said I
could not got well
without an opera
tion, for I could
hardly stand tho
pains In my sides,
especially my right
ono, nnd down my
rlcht loir. I becran
to feel hotter when I had taken only
ono oottio or uompounu, uut Kept on
ns I was afraid to Btop too soon." ilrs.
Bad ib Mullen-, 2728 N. 33. St., El
wood, Ind.
Why will women tako chances with
an operation or drag out a sickly,
half-hearted existence, missing three
fourths of tho joy of living, when thoy
can find "health in Lydia E. Pinkham's
VoKotnblo Compound?
lor tlilrty years it has bcon tho
standard remedy for fcmalo ills, and
has cured thousands of women who
havo bocn troubled witli ouch ail
monts as displacements, inflammation,
ulceration, fibroid tumors, irregulari
ties, periodic pains, backache, indiges
tion, and nervous prostration.
If youlmvo tho slightest doubt
thnt .Lydin, 13. Piulclinm's Vege
table Compound will help you,
vrlto to Mrs. Pinldiam nt Ijynn,
Mass., for advico. Your lottcr
will Tjo absolutely conildcntl.il,
and tho advico free
WAS TAKING NO CHANCES
Chauffeur Had Had Enough Accidents
With People Wearing False.
Teeth.
Pretty Thala X, who haa delighted
tho audiencca of Now York'a vaude
ville houses, was called suddenly to
Vermont to visit hor sick mother. At
a town a fow miles from her parent'o
homo olio hired an automobile and
asked tho chauffeur to drive her with
as much speed aa possible to her
destination.
Tho roada were very bad, and tho
:ar, making good speed up hill and
down dale, over rockB and ruta,
seemed bound to shako overboard its
occupanta.
After a llttlo of thia Jolting tho
thauffeur turned to his faro and de
manded: "I any, ma'am. Do you wear falso
loeth?"
"What Impudence!" exclaimed
f hals X.
"Oh, ma'am, It is not from impu
Jonco," roturned tho chauffeur, "that
I asked you tho question. It la bo
eauso tho road is bad, tho rocks aro
hnrd, and if you wear falso teeth, you
would do well to remove them until
wo atrlko tho pike. I'vo had onough
Accidents of that description."
Bold Scribe.
"Ho hum!" ejaculated honest Farm
er Hornbcak, who had encountered In
tho villngo nowBpape'r an cxamplo of
tho porvorslty whlclr tho llnotypo
sometimes displays. "Tho editor of
tho Plaindealer ain't afraid to speak
his mind. Ho como right out and
says: "In our opinion tho Hon. Thom
as Rott has iyddaonkzzounsottttpt
pn innwww trnhahaha, hawzw zons
kibby.' And, by Jolly I ho says it a
if ho meana It, too!" Puck.
A Good Samaritan.
"Onco, whon I waa 111, ho gavo mo &
punch In tho atomach."
"I don't boo why you should bo
grateful for that."
"It waa a milk punch. Thoy
Btrengthen, you know."
Short Trip.
"Twobblo started to road Doctor
EHovb Harvard Classics."
"How far did ho got beforo stop
Ping?" "As far as tho bookcaBO."
Saves
Breakfast
Worry
A package of
Post
Toasties
on the pantry shelf.
-Served in a minute.
With cream or stewed fruit.
DEUCIOUS!
SATISFYING!
"The Memory Lingers"
POSTUM CEREAL CO., Ltd.,
Hauls Creek. Mich.