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About The North Platte semi-weekly tribune. (North Platte, Neb.) 1895-1922 | View Entire Issue (March 16, 1909)
GAVE HER DADDY AWAY. LUUo One's Innocent Remark That Left the Deacon Gasping. Every Sunday Eomo one threw n button Into tho contribution box of tho llttlo church. Tho annoyed pastor confided to hts wife that ho suspected tho button thrower to bo stingy old Deacon 0., who had so strongly op posed his "call" to tho pastorate, but that ho daro not accuse him of It for lack of evidence. At a church "soclablo that week 8omo one suggested tho playing of games. Deacon Q. had Just partaken of oyster soup at some ono else's ox penso and felt warmed and expansive. "Why not play 'IJutton, button who's got tho button?' ho inquired of waiting children. "Oh, yes!" exclaimed his youngest daughter with enthusiasm. "And you lend us tho button, papal" Then sho drow back, timorously. "Unless you want to savo It for next Sunday's con tribution," bIio added, considerately. BURBANKED. Cecilia City What nro you doing? Cyrus Cornswoggle I'm pruning this npplo tree. Cecilia City What will sclcnco do next? Going to grow prunes on nn applo trcol Sbeer whlto goods, In fact, any tins wash goods when now, owo much of their attractiveness to tho way Hhoy nro laundered, this being dono in a inannor to enhanco tholr toxtllo beau ty. Homo laundorlng would bo equal ly satisfactory If proper attention was given to starching, tho first essential being good Starch, which has sufficient Btrongth to stiffen, without thickening tho goods. Try Deflanco Starch and you will bo ploasantly surprised at tha Improved appearance of your work. Added a Savlnn Clause. A irood old deacon In Connecticut was very pious and very fond of clams. Whon onco upon a time ho at tended a Ithodo Island clam-baKo no ovortnxfid his capacity and was soro ly distressed. But his faith In prayer was unabated. Leaving Uio party ami going down on his knees behind a trnn. lm was heard to supplicate "Forgive me, O Lord, this great sin of gluttouy. Itestoro my health, and I will never cat any more clams." Then after a judicious pause: "Very few, It any. Amen." Sorry He Spoke. "My dear," said a thin llttlo man to his wife, ".this paper says that there Is a woman who goes out and chops wood with her husband." "Well, what of It? I think she could easily do it If ho Is as thin ns you are. I havo often thought of using you to peel potatoes with." Stray Stories. Omaha Directory M. Spiesberger & Son Co The Best In the West OMAHA, NEB. AH a UhN AL KUUMa As 1517 Douglas St., OMAHA, NEB. X'lU Reliable Dentistry at Moderate Prices. by mull nt out prices. Send for free catalogue. WYEHU-UILLUN UKUU uu., UMAriA, neutt RelianceLeatherBe Scr.or LEWIS SUPPLY CO., OMAHA BILLIARD TABLES POOL TABLES SLOWEST PRICED. EASY PAYMENTS, You cannot afford to experiment with untried goods cold by commission agent3. Catalogues free. Tho Brunswick-Balke-Collonder Company 407-9 So. tOth St., Dipt. 2. OMAHA, NEB. I POSITIVELY CURE RUPTU IN A FEW DAYS I nave u treatment for lUe cure of llupturo which H life ,ni ( convenient to take. a oo time I. loat. I in the Inventor of this ytcm mt the, only phyilcUh who bold. United Bttc l'atent trade-mark for a ltupture core which baa rctored tbouaanda to health lu the paat ! yeart. All other are Imitation!. I hare nothing for iwle.B. my fpeclalty l the Curl MX Of Rupturo, and If a penion bee dnubta, Juat tut the money In a bank and pay when nullified. No other doctor will do thl. When taking; my treatment pat lenU nine! come to my ofllce. Ueferenceii (J. s. h'at'l Bank, Oiuaba. Write orcall, FRANTZ H, WRAY, M, D, 300 Boo Building, OMAHA RE Gossip of Washington What Is Goinrf On at tho National Capital. Clerk Weds Prince WASHINGTON. From govornment clerk to princess Is tho change mndo by Miss Georgio Jeffrey, former ly n clerk In tho office of tho auditor of tho post offlco department. Sho Is now tho wife of Princo Alfred Ahrcuhclm-Gagarln, adjutant to his lm- porlal majesty, tho czar. Tho wedding took placo In Canton, Chlnn. Tho princo nnd princess nro now traveling in tho far ens, but will ultimately go to St. Petersburg, whero they will mako their home. Tho romanco which culminated In tho marriage of tho American girl and the Russian noblemnn had Us incep tion on nn ocean stenmer bound for tho far east Miss Joffroy, who wan re garded as ono of tho best clerks In the post offlco department, was transferred at hor own request from that depart ment to the Philippine service. Sho left Washington early in Octo- Capital Is Cordial THE Countess Lulso Alexnndra von Bcrnstorff, only dnughtei of tho German ambassador and Countess von Bernstorff, has found tho national cap ital of her mother's nntlvo land much to hor liking. Ever Blnco tho arrival In Washington of tho kaiser's now rep- roscntatlvo and his family, thoy havo been cntertalncd,constnntly. To all af fairs given for tho younger sot tho "llttlo countess," as sho Is frequently called, has been Invited. Countess Alexandra was born nnd educated abroad, nnd Is making her first visit to this country. Sho speaks tho language with only a slight accent, for her mother, who has lived In for eign countries over since sho was 15 years old, has never dropped tho Eng. lish tongue, but has spoken it to her daughter and son, tho latter now. a student In Germany. A year ago tho daughter of tho Von HouseComrnitteeClerk Courts inDemand THERE Is no abler servant of the United States in tho cnpltol build ing than James C. Courts, tho diminu tive clerk of tho house committee on appropriations. Without him tho great committee would be often at sou. It would bo almost un utter Impos sibility for Chairman Tnwncy or any other head of that great committee to carry In his mind the vast detnils of tho appropriation bills which it brings 'into tho house, carrying amounts vary ing Trom n fow to more than $100,000, 000. Some member of tho house wants to know about some Itom In overy bill and frequently tho wholo house wants to know about a good many of them. Chairman Tawney can answer offhnnd as many questions as any other chairman who ever stood In his shoes, but it Is Courts who, when ho slta down, Is almost hidden by the desk In front of him, but Is tho ready prompter when tho chairman's mem ory falls. Between Tawnoy and Courts prnctlcally no time of tho houso Is wasted In getting necessary informa tion for nil comers. Secretary Satterlee's Zest for Duty HERBERT LIVINGSTON SATTER LEE, sou of tho Into Bishop Sat terleo and son-in-law of J. Piorpont Morgan, recently nppolnted to buc ceed T. H. Newberry as assistant sec retary of tho navy, was ono of tho bonrd of visitors at tho Naval acad emy last Juno and ontored Into bis duties with a zest and Interest that was particularly pleasing to tho ncad omy staff. Ho Insisted upon seeing overythlng there was to bo seen, ate In tho mess hall, went out in the launches and watched tho drills. At last ho decided that ho must slcp In a midshipman's bed; bo ho wnB usslgncd to a room on ono of tho decks. Now at the vory tlmo tho board of visitors was nt tho ncadomy tho West Polnt-Annnpolls baseball game was on and tho West Point team wero to bo given n rouBlng send-off when thoy took their departure, which was flxod in Travel Romance bcr bound for Manila, but stopped In Denver to visit friends beforo leaving tho country. While visiting In Donvor sho becamo acquainted with friends of her hostess who wore also bound for tho oast and who had taken passngo on tho steamer which was to carry her to Manila. Miss Jeffrey learned that they woro to mako several hIiIo trips and so sho obtained un extension of leave from tho Philippines and decided to Join tho party of tourists. Whether tho princo was a member of this party or whethcrMIss Joffroy met him after tho ship passed through tho Golden Gato has not boon mndo known. At any rate, ho was n passon. gor on tho steamer, and tho ncqualnt unco which formed then resulted In a pretty llttlo lovo nffalr. Tho princo con tinued with tho party through their travels In China and Japan and tho lovo story progressed in tho moat sat isfactory way. While In Hong Chow tho party wont for an outing. Tho funny llttlo natlvo rig In which Miss Joffroy was riding collided with a carriage Miss Jeffrey was thrown to tho ground and Injured painfully, but not seriously. It was not long nftor this that the mnrrlago took place. to Little Countess Dernstorffs mado her debut In society at Cnlro, Egypt, whoro hor father waa his country's ropresontutlvo up to :i fow months ago. Sho fcols ns if sho were making n aocond dobut Blnco com ing to Washington, for sho has taken part I iv all tho affairs given for Miss Ethel Roosovolt, ns woll as In many of tho offlcinl functions. Since tho dismantling of tho German embassy by tho Hnroncss von Stern burg, who recently snllod for Europo with her mother to spend tho, rest of tho winter on the Riviera, tho house has boen placed in the hands of doc orators and furnishers, and tho ambas sador and his family havo been obliged to live nt ono of tho hotels. Tho em bassy Is expected to bo ready for o& cupancy In April. Tho CountCHs von Bcrnstorff nnd hor daughter wish to know all about tho city In which they live, nnd thoy nro seen frequently on pleasant mornings, guidobook in hand, learning about historic houses and places. They havo strayed already outsido tho foreign and oiilcial circlCB to meot peoplo of Inter est, and it Is confidently expected that the Gorman embassy will bo thorough ly cosmopolitan nnd democratic during tho present Incumbent's regime Wheu congress recently voted $800, 000 for tho rolief of tho Italian enrth- quako victims, an unusual sccuo was enacted In tho house. A misunder standing had arisen between tho prcsl dent and congress as to tho amount of the relief and tho bill prepared by tho houso committco on appropriations did not lit with tho president's mcs sago by $300,000. Courts was sum tnoncd by a general alarm and re sponded readily, pen in hand. A con ference was hold at tho speaker's ttv bio lasting about two minutes, and thoso two minutes brought $300,000 more relief to the sufferers of Italy Courts and his pen llxed tho bill and CourtH later rushed tho bill to the en grossing committee, and had It In tho senate In record tlmo. When congratulated by members nnd civilians allko later, Courts more ly smiled. When, liowovor, somo ono ventured to suggest that It was nn in spiring sight to see congress act so generously and so quickly, Courts ro plied: "I onco knew a congressman who mado a speech In Fnnotill hall Boston, and bragged about tho passngo of a pension bill enrrylng over $100, 000,000 in forty minutes. FInulIy ho Bwolled up in his patriotism and ox claimed: 'Can you bunt thnt?' some body In tho back row replied: 'Lord, I hopo not.' There Is Bitch a thing as being too quick on tho trigger." for very early In tho morning of tho night that Mr. Satterlee played at be ing a midshipman nnd slept In Bnn croft, or "Bnnkrupt," hnll ns tho mid dies facetiously call It, apropos of their cronlc ponnlloss Btnto. "All out wns called promptly and thoso who did not turn out quickly enough to suit tho middy officers wore uncero monlously dumped out on tho lloor, mattress and nil. Tho officer of ono of tho deckB riiBhlng hurriedly around at the last moment to sco that all had oboyod his summoiiB enmo to a room whoao occupant had not Btlrrod, but with his head buried In tho pillow was soundly Bleeping. "Hero, you, get up," called out Mr. Midshipman, and meet ing with no response, said, "Oh, you wont, won't you?" With that ho rushed toward tho bed and taking hold of tho mattress wds about to Jerk it down on tho floor, when a sleepy volco Bald, "What's tho mat ter?" and a Bieopy faco, wearing a full beard, omorgod from tho bod clothes. It was Mr. Snttorleo of tho honorable bonrd of visitors who had boen so un ceremoniously aroused, nnd when this fact dawned upon tho brain of tho en terprising midshipman ho beat n hnKty retreat. WESTERN CANADA'S SPLENDID CROP YIELDJOR 1908. AMERICANS PROFITED LARGELY AND SEND BACK SATISFAC TORY REP0RT8. Tho census branch of tho Depart ment of Agriculture Ottawa, Canada, has completed Us returns of tho show ing of Western Canada's grain yield for 1008, and tho reports mako very Interesting rending. In tho thrco prov inces of Manitoba, Saskatchewan and Alberta, which comp-lso what may bo known ns Central Canada, thoro was a total wheat yield of about 107,000,000 bushols, worth to tho farmer about $85,000,000; In nddltlon to this tho ont, barley nnd llax crops woro worth an other $35,000,000. Letters havo been rccolved from many of tho settlers from tho United States. From those, thnt of Rov. Oscar L. King hns beon solcctcd. Ho lives In tho vicinity of Edmonton, Alberta, and what ho says will bo of Intercut to thoso who con templato moving to Central Canada. Every lino of tho letter Is Interesting. Thoso who wish for tho particulars as to how to socuro homesteads nnd pre emptions should write any Canadian Govornment agent. Mr. King says: "Mr. M. V. MclnnncB, Detroit, Mich- lgan: I nm woll satisfied with Al berta. This country offers cxcollont opportunities for nnyono to make a good homo for himself nnd family If ho is willing to put up with a fow hard knocks for tho first two or threo yonrs. But it la worth a fow hard knocks to get a ICO-ncro farm of rich, productive land with no mortgngo on It. This provlnco Is well fitted for grains, Btock raising and dairying. Wo havo found tho cllmato generally healthful, moro healthful thnn Mich igan, nnd nlthough tho .thermometer Bomotlmos drops to 40 degrees bolow zero In wlntor, yet wo do not scum to feel that tcmporaturo any moro than wo did G or 10 degrees bolow zero In Michigan. Wo llko tho winters. "Tho Govornment takes great Inter est In tho education of tho peoplo and quickly aids tho Bottlers In establish ing schools whoro they nro called for. Tho schools, though graded differently than thoso In tho States, a"ro efficient nnd advancing. Our gront drawback has been the limited and lnadcquato railway facilities, hut now ronds aro being rapidly built nnd many moro aro projected through various parts of tho provlnco. Tho now policy of tho Alberta govornment to construct a great many branch lines throughout tho provlnco will greatly help all parts of tho country. If thoso now settlers who havo to go back n considerable distance from existing railroads and towns to find freo homesteads will but locate along tho lino of n project ed rallrond thoy will in two o? thrco years bo near both town nnd railroad. When I first camo to this country threo and a half years ngo tho homo stend I took was 7G miles from a rail road town; now thoro Is n railroad 25 miles north, another 25 miles Bouth, and n third Ib being built through my neighborhood. "I think tho prnlrlo country or coun try that Is partly pralrlo offers much better opportunities than tho hilly portions." LIVE AND LEARN. Farmer Meddcrgrass Waal, by clover! I know them Chlneso lived on t'othor sltlo o' th' nlrth but hang mo If I know thoy had a through route I If It's YouTiye Use Pettlt's Eye Salve, for inflammation, stys, itching litis, cyo nclies, defects of vision nnd sensitivity to strong lights. All drtimp'ntH or Howard Bros., Buffulo, N. Y. It novor did yet hurt to lay down llkollhoods and forms of hopo. Shako spearo. ONLY ONH "IIHOMII OIIININK." That Is JMXATIVI5 IIUOMO tlUlNINIC. l,onk for tbn Blirnaturo nt K. V.'. IlltllVlS. Maud the World oyer to Cura u Cold In Ono Day. 2oo. Silence Isn't alwnys golden. Some times it Is an admission of guilt. neiilstorcil U. a, Tot. Otilco I . Ask for the I o The genuine sold everywhere An aching back is instantly relieved by an application of Sloan's Liniment. This liniment takes the place of massage and is better than sticky plasters. At penetrates . without rubbing through the skin and muscu lar tissue right to the bone, quickens the blood, relieves congestion, and gives permanent as well as temporary relief. loan's Liniment has no equal asx a remedy for Rheumatism, Neuralgia, or any pain or stiffness in the muscles or joints. Prico 25c., COc, nnd $1.00. Dr. Earl S. Sloan, Boston, Maoa., U. S. A. Bloan's book on hornet, cattlo, ihoop nnd poultry cnt freo. SILVER KING BARLEY Wlaconaln lafamrd withe lxt bar. Icy etito In tUo Union. Certain Jt lathat ItproduceJtlio hoavlwl i jloldlott li.rlciB on earth. Or HO VAHIIiTIUU tot tod by tho winconiiln Arrtml. turnlHtnilon.aataer'e Sllvor King Barley hoailathollataa thohlggeat yleldnrl llmt'e a rword wo aro Iiroud ott Hut I fa rrlial Balzcx'a eoula do OTcrrnhcro. SALZER'S BILLION DOLLAR GRASS AND TE0SINTE nilllnn Dollar Oraea corcrod ttaelt with glory Inltas. It'a bay crop to the Unltotimatraalonolenitlmatori at IIO.OOO.OOO.OU, It will be much mora tor lliutl. lircrboilr l talking about It- lirybody will inw tt for 1901), tt rosin but too to Wo lr nrrc la ready with tta flri I crop within all wnrka after Boetimg ami poinom yioiua me luaii xwjtmt k nit wen. tuo catalog ieua ox hub iuu ion green xoou ircaa. PURE CLOVER AND TIMOTHY SEED Ralier'a nth Contnry etralne of rioter and tlmothyeeed etand all alone tn their absolute purity. Of coureo thoy coft ronrethan any other pecdsmaiva. lhu ineyuru irixi iromwoous. mava worm iue uinercnce. Vim have by all odd the largeat Seed Potato trad In tka World- one ef our cellar holds 00,000 far DIG CATALOG FREE ""HC Or fori Oo In etampe wo mall free of allroete namplreof KHrrrKlnff liar. ler.Tloldlng 173 bu. pi-racret Macaroni Wheat, yielding 01 bu. per aorei ltllllon DollarOrann tiDeltr. IherarcAtnnd liarfnotl nriKfli-T. tnenfh.r with timothy, clnvor, Graitoa, etc.. canity got a atart there" 111). And tf yna ernd 14o wo add to ncror eoca by you botoro. FOR WISCONSIN Thoy norer fall. J ,ot uh Bund you ourrntalng. It la frpti Ulltl tHltfl von ILll farm and Held eoedi, tluit never disappoint you whon lmrvmltliiiHCouira. about vcurtaliln, Wisconsin Seed Growers' Ait n, La Croiift, Wis. aker's PINK EYE SEEDS W. N. U., OMAHA, NO. 10, 1909. bearing this trade mark. Don't be misled by imitations For Lame Back BEARDLESS BARLEV TUo barloy ot yourdroamai no boards i oaay to h&rrrat, yielding InNowYorkaUto 1X1 buahel per aero. EmpcrorWilliara DAT OurnowEmpworWU. Ham oat la tho rrrat eat Ml ot th century. AtmoeteJtreatMtho Emperor hlmaelf.Yoa will want Ib 111 a. marvel. Dig trial package, So) utnn ions per acre 01 niaguiuoenv uay. Buahola I worth t10.00 ot any man' money to aboro package ot Vutm Dood Korelty DISTEMPER CATARRHAL FEVER AND ALL NOSE AND THROAT DISEASES Cures tlio hIoIc nnd nets ns n prevcntlvo for others. Liquid bItch on the Umnne. Htifu fur brood iimrcB and all otliern. Ileutkldiwy remedy ', W cciitH nml $1.00 it bottle W.00 und (10.00 the dozen. Hold by nil druKKUU ntid homo goods uouseu, or bunt express paid, by the manufacturer. SfOHN MEDICAL CO., CliomliU, GOSHEN, INDIANA Dlt. McIKTOHU celebrated NATURAL UTERINE SUPPORTER gives Imniedlaln rnllof. Riilil tiv all mimical fnatrti I liiuiitdtutlorauiYd leudlngdnigglktaln United Hta jit fV.tinf n f I .... fc- . . -I .... II., ..... ..n en llrtW. m Cunailii. (V TIIW HAH'l ...iv JIAOl.llllD (V ifll in 1U1U 1 UUL1U Wn Uia Wnlnut Bt., rhltadeli'hhk, 1'a., iiiuntifucturer t tiiusri nnd wilo maker ot tho k-cnuluo stampt4 f,JL-0INTO8H" Bupporter. riNlltT A MrlNTOHlI THUMB UO Cocoa v