Till: ALLIANCE 1IEKALD. TUESDAY, MAY lf, 1022.
RANDOM SHOTS
We learn that Brad Minor is so
innocent that ho believes a camisole
i.s a young camel.
Ole Buck, in hitting at u and an
other 01' his editor friends declares that
11 successful business man hasn't much
time to sjKjnd on the golf links.
Some of these days we'll fret Ole
u: on the links ana make a human
Lang out of him.
Making money isn't the chief aim
in an editor's life, Ole. If that wor
ried u mo.-1, wed go into the boot
legging business.
flnotlcggcrs never have lime to play
jrclf, but many of their pros-jR-rous
customer like the game. ,
Han Leggett give elaborate direc
tions for putting cream into coffee.
Ole Buck says that if Hunk only
knew as much as he thinks he does, he
would know that coifee is the best
without cream. Neither of these au
thorities really knows anything about
the subject. The coffee should be put
into the cream.
We gather that while the scandal
monger who mentions names is ana
thema and then some, it's all right if
you throw out hints as broad as a barn
tioor.
FIRST AID TO AMATEUR FOETS
The Random Shootist is considering
starting a course in jioetry for the
instruction of the rank amateurs of
Chadrnn. We shall start in first with
the old time ballads, work up to and
tniough obituary poetry and round out
with blank verse, blankety-blank verse
nnd vers libre. If we survive and Ieo
Lloyd and Lily Begin catch the idea
and show improvement, we shall in
clude a few examples of other styles,
such as sonnets and limericks.
The first lesson is the tear-starting
ballad, so popular in the early fifties
This is a fair sample. We recommend
that Leo try three yards of these be
fore he tackles the next lesson:
Put My Little Shoes Away
Mother, dear, come bathe my forehead,
For 1 am growing very weak;
Let one drop of water, mother,
Fall upon my burning cheek
Tell my loving little schoolmates
That 1 nevermore will play;
Vdve them all my toys; but, mother,
l'ut my little shoes away.
Chorus
I am going to leave you mother,
So remember what I say,
Do it, won't you please, dear mother,
fut my little shoes away.
Santa Claus, he gave them to me
With a lot of other things,
And I think he brought an angel
With a pair of golden wings.
Mother, I shall be an angel,
By, perhaps, another day,
So you will then, dearest mother,
Put my little shoes away.
Soon the baby will be larger,
Then they'll fit his little feet
Oh, he'll look so nice and cunning
As he walks along the street!
Now I'm getting tired, mother,
Soon to all, "good-bye," I'll say,
Please remember what I tell you
Put my little shoes away.
If Leo will kindly look the other
way, we'll introduce a poetical tongue
twister, translated from the original
Polish, and depicting the sorrows of
Danzig or is it Warsaw that's sor
rowful? No dilterence.
Danzig to Warsaw
If Warsaw saw far more war
Than Warsaw sought to see,
Another town more sore war saw
Than Warsaw saw that's me!
For Warsaw saw the war seesaw,
But Warsaw saw no sea;
I saw war soar by sea anil shore,
So Warsaw's sore at me!
The sore war Warsaw saw seesaw
Was a worse sore war for me;
I saw more war than Warsaw saw,
For the war wore Warsaw free!
When these chilly winds blow, and
spoil the golf; when the advertiser
withdraws into into his lair and bolts
the doors; and when we read of swim
ming contests in California and other
resorts, there is strong temptation to
"do a Munson."
However, so long as the spring in
the phonograph isn't busted, we shall
not be downhearted.
Yesterday, for the first time in four
weary months, we ate a small slice of
fresh white bread, without butter. You
have our word for it that angelfood
cake never tasted better.
Traveling man in the Alliance Hotel
the morning of the big wind was sleep
ing at the rate of forty miles an hour.
About 5 a. m., the signboard north of
the building fell, a victim to the wind.
At 5:02, a hastily attired man rushed
into the lobby, suitca.-e in hand.
Thank heaven I got here before the
,rest of the building collapsed," he
gasped.
It seems that not every Burlington
eniplove is entitled to be known as
a Burlington candidate.
Who do you reckon owns the prize
Ford today?
It doesn't matter whether the win
ner is a business man, so long as he's
an orator.
The cub reporter maintains that
treading the boards would be a nice
business if the curtain puller would
enly do his duty.
But when you are suposed to sing
one bar of a song before tne curtain
drops, and it becomes necessary to
t-ing the entire song inrougn twice oe
f ere it happens, the pusuit of fame via
the footlights loses its thrill.
The cub reDorter once before was
nlaced in an embarrassing position. In
. k 1 . 1 1 i .1
another piay ne tore xua nair, poinieu
at the open doorway and shouted,
" I here he comes."
And the cowardly villain entered bv
another door.
Hot dam!
American Legion Note;
"FACTS N()PIM()NS"
Tor a year of devotion we have set
aside a day of recognition. So long as
man lives not by bre.nl alone, so long
shall this word mother remain the
strongest nnd hwcetc.t v.oid in anv
language," says Hanford MacXidor,
national commander of the American
Legion in his Mother's day message to
posts of the oipanizat on.
"We of the American legion art
work. ng away at the building of n
castle of patriotism on the rock of
sacrifice," the nips. -age continues. "We
oiler and dedicate the work of our
hands to the mothers of America.'
Mother's day, May 14 was observed
nationally by the 3,f'00 units of the
American legion auxiliary made up of
wives, mothers, daughters and sisters
of legion men.
Where organized lalor stands re
garding the payment of a bonus has
oten expressed by Samuel Gompers,
president of the American Federation
of Labor, in an address belore the
Connecticut state federation at New
Haven. President Gompers strongly
favors the American legion's adjusted
compensation measure, and said:
"The American Federation of Iabor
believes that the men who risked their
lives, gave up their jobs and are now
out of work should be compensated.
Business would be revived and an
enormous amout of money put into
circulation, while the public at large
would be affected financially very lit
tle if congress passed a just taxation
act."
The York legion will celebrate the
Fourth of July, and are already a'
work on plans to make it the biggest
celebration the city has ever had.
Wrestling, and boxing matches, base
ball games, great parades will be some
of the attractions. The local com
mercial club has donated $500 to help
defray expenses.
Three years ago the American leg
ion instituted the idea of selling flow
ers to its members and to the general
public, the proceeds of the sale to be
usced in caring for the graves of Am
erican soldiers nnd aiding disabled ex
service men. The poppy, familiar to
every veteran of the A. E. F., and to
the public through the beautiful poem,
"In Flanders Field," was selected as
the flower. Last year the legion defi
nitely abandoned the poppy in favor
of the daisy.
This year for the first time the
Americans legion's official flower, the
American daisy, will be sold and used
as grave decorations. The poppy was
discarded because it was a foreign
plant and dangerous as a weed here
TIIREB
and liocause certain interests have
comnieiciali.ed its sale, and were t;ik-
advantape 01' the patriotism of the
. . .. t . i - i . ...
Clonic 10 maivc mifcp pronis,
The daisy, which blooms in all parts
typically American, and all lunds
. .11 1 .1. fl 1 ! .
.nun-leu ii uie i.cgion ann us wo
Kin s auxiliary will Ik? u ed directly
ilir the Itlll'lm hl'llinil thr tl .In..
oration of graves loih heie j.nd over-
. . ,i i . i ...
cns tin intvimriai nay anu caring 101
the disabled.
Nebraska legionnaires nre nlrendy
lieginning to plan lor the big nation
al convention at New Orleans in Oc
toher. It is planned to l un lit least
three special trains, one from Lincoln
one lroni Omaha and one from Fall:
City. Stop-overs wiil probably be ar
tanged at Shdoh and Vicksburg na
tional cemetery and other points oi
scenic interest.
Several hundred Cornhusker veler
ans have already announced their in
ter.tion of attending the gathering.
ilue to the wonderful success of the
Kansas City meeting, when a group ot
world famous nun, including Marshal
I'och, General Diaz and Admiral Betit-
ty were the guests of the American
legion: The reunion held there was
the largest gathering of ex-service
men since the close of the war. am
this feature will be duplicated at New
Orleans.
An appeal to posts of the American
legion in Nebraska to send donations
to help decorate the graves of Ameri
ran soldiers in France on Memorial
day has been made by Commander
William Ritchie of Omaha. Each year
the legion in Paris, London und other
European cities send delegates to the
cemeteries to lay wreaths on . the
graves. Members in the United States
donate the money for this purpose.
The fathers of over fifty veterans
of the world war have been organized
into Dad s auxiliary by the American
legion post at Falls City. Former
Governor Morehead is a charter mem
ber of the organization. The dads
will cooperate with the legion boys in
putting over their Americanization
program and in local activities. On
Memorial day' trees will be dedicated1
to the memory of men who died in the
service.
Small Boys are
Already Talking
of Coming Circus
Small boys are happv.
Everywhere the gaudy posters of the
clowns, the pink clad girls on the
white horses, the spangled flying fig
ures and the jungle tribes meet the
eye. City highways and byways are
splotched with color, for the show
Christy Brothers' monster four-ring
wild animal exposition is coming to
town; will exhibit at Alliance Monday,
Mav 12,
The smell of the sawdust is in the
spring air; hear the call of the bugle
and the crack of the ring master's
whip; this i3 the show that you have
nil of t)u rfrrrng. Ltd for it ! I S' j 1
THE BEDSPRING LUXURIOUS
DeLuxe is the most luxuriously comfortable
bedspring made. It will give you a lifetime of
satisfactory service and more soothing delight-
iul healthful repose than you have ever known
coll is thus given freedom of action
and the bedspring is made flexible,
so that it follows the contour of the
figure and supports the whole body
buoyantly in a natural and therefore
healthful position. It does not sag
lite a hammock or pitch to the side
of heavier weight when occupied
by two persons. Tranquilized and
made drowsy with a sense of physi
cal comfort, you drift off into sound
and refreshing sleep.
&Lxi m kindeu)y fniA.d in Ram GraV EmJ and wiff fit mUI tr vmJ fob
(omJ bv-foot wood UJj) without any cUnou
Luxurious comfort in the bedspring
DeLuxe is a result of special feat
ures in the construction, among
which are the extra long highly
tempered conical coils tied together
diagonally at the top with clastic
helical coils. These helical coils are
securely attached to the large coils
by Patented S-Hook Fasteners which
insure the integrity of the entire
fabric and distinguish DeLuxe from
its many inferior imitations. Each
t'Tcn waiting for; Chri
"It! the Bedsp kino, oot the bed or mattress that makes all the difFcrenc,
George D. Darling
New Location, 301-303 Box Butte' Avenue, Alliance, Nebraska
tv Brothers'
our-rinir wild animal dmuw Ktm.il
without rival. It i the only diiTerent
show, liver body knows them, for
they never advertise what they do not
have, hence the monster water-pi of
tents nre alwnys jammed with un
eai;er happy crowd.
Never before was such a combina
tion of whirlwind spectacles, flashing
colors and daring feats of ugility and
strength unrolled before the enthralled
Mutators. Miilarcd to five times its
former sijr.o, traveling in their own
sMH-ial train of double lenj'th curs, and
presenting in four rings truined wild
nidmiil nets in new display'., wi'h ele
phants, camels, aebras, l;ons, leopards,
punias, bears, monkeys, pig, ixats,
dogs and ponies, performing in mixed
groups, will rhow they have something
new in wild U-ast exhibition.
To the ch'ldren, it is the realization
of their dreams, nnd a practical illus
tration of many a nursery tale; t
men nnd women it is nn incentive t
intellectual thought nndeculation, to
the man who is Ptill a boy at heart.
Ihe wh te top brings bnck visions of
joy ruprome. of days that tand out
high above all other wonderful days.
livery child visiting the nfternooik
Ierformanre will be given a free pony
or elephant ride; special attendants to
care for the kiddies.
Use Herald Want Ads for Result
THE UNIVERSAL CAR
The Ford Coupe has an especial appeal for real estate folks because
of its splendid up-to-date appointments. A comfortable and depend
able motor car every day of the year shine, rain, mud or snow.
Equipped with electric self-starting and lighting system and demount
able rims with 3-inch tires all around it, brings its owner all those
established dependable Ford merits in economy in operation and
upkeep, with assured long service. Not alone for professional and
business men who drive much, but as the family car for women,
the Ford Coupe meets every expectation. The demand for them
increases daily so we solicit immediate orders to make reasonably
prompt delivery. Will you not make our shop your repair place?
Genuine Ford parts and skilled mechanics.
COURSEY & MILLER
PARK ,f
$imivmoMft II
IU.ilff''
Qwasf with
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. r
PKRHAPS you, too, dread wash day with its monotonous, never-seeming-to-end
grind. Perhaps, you're undergoing all the tor
tures that accompany the average "Blue Monday."
If that be the case, we believe you aren't getting out of life what
you should. Let us be your messengers of care. Let us carry away
your weekly bundle and return it to you the same day with the
Drudgery Taken Completely Away
Our Wet Wash Department is at present helping scores of Alliance
housewives to enjoy "wash day." They will tell you they never
realized how easy it is to dry and iron clothes if you don't have
to wash them.
This is our suggestion: Call Phone 1G0 before 8:30 a. m., your
next wash day. Ask our Wet Wash Department to call for your
laundry. All we ask is that you give us a fair trial to lighten your
housework.
THE LOW COST OF WET WASH WILL SURPRISE YOU.
Alliance Steam Laundry
Phone 160 Alliance, Neb.