u
HIE ALLIANCE HERALD. TUESDAY, MARCH H. 1922.
EIGHT
t
RANDOM SHOTS
'!' T ' ' - III
f i
'Almost half through.
A SLOGAN.
Lite oiT more than you can chew;
Thrn chew it.
I'lan tor more than you can do,
Then do it.
Hitch jour wagon to a star,
Keep your seat, and there you are!
Our last pupil reports a net loss of
r'irht nound for th? first seven days.
Not onlv that, but he broke the rules
one day, being tempted by a piece of
mince pie.
If Jesse Miller ever rots to Ik; an oil
millionaire, he can b pardoned for
wearing two of those patent reducing
holts ntt necessarily in the same
place.
Yhe story filters in via the Nebraska
Citv Press of a florist ami an Italian
fruit vender whose business houses
were side by side. Th florist had his
national slogan, "Say It With Flow
ers orominently displayed in the win
dow, and this excited the admiration
and emulation of the Italian, who put
WD a similar sism: "Do It With
Bananas." ,
Sort of throwing banana peels in
jour enemy 8 path, praps.
The woman folk generally sniff
nrnmfullv when any man arises and
claims that he can cook. But don't be
flereived its onlv jealousy. When
Mrs. Tash was culled out of the city,
the hidce for e'irht mornings in suc
cession procured, cooked and ate his
own breakfast. And once, it is related,
he washed the dishes. I his was prob
ably on the la,t morning. Since then
he's been dining tit the restaurant, but
it isn t because he oan t cook.
There is one Alliance residence that
row contains four phonographs, and a
wt of records with each one. There
is one in the kitchen, one in the living ji
room anu iwo in me oiwinnu mc
neighbors now know one piece of
poetry by heart, the one about, "O
Death, where is thy sting?"
Judge Tush, standing six feet six In
his stocking feet and weighing some
thing bettor than two hundred can
Mnlt littla fnloj ilnrinir hitt Hrewhes
Jillinv. in J v . " ri ----- i
that smaller men would have to hide
out for weeks if they dared to pull.
On the other hand, he can take 'em
just as easily as he can make 'em.
That s a great gut.
f '.of in hnml it t It. J. and his con
gregation. When the lights went out,
passersby could hear a full house sing
ing, "Brighten the Comer Where Ytu
Are." ,
Then they started singing, "Send the
Light," and after a while the prayer
was answered.
Ole Buck: "Charley Epperson says
when you get mad at an editor the
way to get even with him is to poison
Ms dog. If Charley ever poisons my
dog, 1 11 steal his false- tooth.
Fat man of our acquaintance got to
tallrintr of buckwheat cukes and manle I
syrup with lots of butter yesterday
afternoon, and for four whole minutes
he almost had us persuaded that diet-
, ing was the bunk. Then cur eyes
dropped We're going to ttick it out a
bit longer.
I'lease pass the bran biscuits.
Haven't seen Sarp' for a week.
Wonder if he a a backslider.
Now the Campfirettes are going for
u whole month without eating candy,
dopes or anything between meals.
.This is a straight tip to the high
school swains to ask them to line up
at the soda fountain.
BAPTIST cyiURCII.
Can you beat it! What? The fol
lowing, a basis for a story on the faith
fulness of a church and the determina
tion of a crowd of people to get a neat
in the building. You say, "Shoot";
well, here goes: A full house at 7
o'clock; a Are two doors away at :15;
about one-fourth of the audience ieave
the building to see the fire; immedi
ately their seats are taken U'., the
house is full again. The loyal pianist,
orchestra and choir kept their stations,
music and songs are furuish'Hl to en
tertain the people. The pastor's curio?
ity pets the best of him and he gees
to the fire, returns find.) all light out,
aisles crowded with people. 1'atriotic
songs are sung, three kerosene lumps
are secured, candles, and a gas lamp
later. People try to force their way in
the building. Fire rages for forty-Avo
minutes and all that time the building
is full to overflowing. Services Mart
45 minutes late, three men kept busy
filling the main and back ai.sle vith
chairs, the song service over bv dim
light, the lecture begins, and about
8:35 the electric lights are back on.
Crowds tiy to get in the building only
to find all aisles full and no standing
room left. lecture continues, amid i un,
humor and pathos, fire is exting lished,
invitation given, two more come for
ward for the Master, making five
adults for the day. This is followed by
a baptism service of nine others. At
10 oclock the crowd disperses, Mjr'ng
they have laughed more tho.-e ihrce
hours than any three hour in their
lives.
To what can we attribute thU .von
derful record? The loyalty -of the
pianist, the orchestra, and choir, not
one of whom left the building, the
knowledge upon the part of the people
in general that the messages delivers!
from the Baptist pulpit are worth i ll
the discomfort one may Ik? called upon
to suiter. lUal religion, honestly con
sidered, fearless attack of the e iU of
life regardless who is hit, all this in
terspersed with pood clear humor.
Come to the friendly church wit't the
friendly grip, on the Joy coiner, Sev
enth and Laramie.
B. J. M1NOUT, Tator.
New Manhattan Shirts
New Spring Neckwear
Stetson and Crofut Knapp
Spring Novelty Hats
Making a business of
high quality
that's The Famous
YOU know perfectly well that the
value of things you buy isn't in what
somebody says about them; the man who
bought the "gold brick" bought it on
what somebody said.
Quality isn't just a word; it's a fact; you
don't get it in clothes unless it's there.
Hart Schaffner & Marx make a business
of putting quality in clothes; materials,
making, smart style.
We make a business of selling that
kind of merchandise. We could sell
cheaper stuff at lower prices; stuff
that's priced lower because it's of
cheaper quality. We don't want to
sell it because our customers really
don't want it; no ((gold bricks" here.
There is still time to avail yourself of three
of the most important suit
values in Nebraska.
$40 Values at
.50
$45 Values at
$65 Values at
.75
THE
FAMOU
Those Imported English Trousers
Made by H. S. & M.
$18 values S9.85
Special Prices on Boys1
Clothing
l . I
i
A
HERALD WANT ADS ULSILTS.
