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TlIK AT.LTANCK IlKUALP, FK1HAY. SKITKMr.ER 1G, 1021.
TTTTIER
! RANDOM SHOTS
into
said
this
the
Our Inquiring Reporter.
The Chicago Tribune started thi.
"ad two or three yars ago. Each day
'ne of its rejortcrs thinks up a new
aiestion, iiml puts it to five men, wom-
n or children whom he meets. This
unarkable column ha? decided, now
.:nd then, to do the same thing. The
question for today is "What Is Your
idea of a Good Time?" In cases
here the man to he interviewed could
not le located, the reporter inquired of
!he office- dojr.
No. 1. W. R. Harper, department
-tore proprietor, who i. featuring a
-lumber of bargains (see adv. col
umns). aid: "Outside of eating spe
cial dishes cooked up for me by my
loval Lions, there is nothing that
Seats climbing into the muck and
heating it for some place, provided 1
never stay more than two days."
No. 2. Uev. Stephen J. Kpler: "1
tnd that there is no enjoyment equal
la fishing on a tuvl stream, provided
i carrv a license."
No. '3. W. R. Tate: "Nothing is
more conducive to good headth and
-ational pleasure than the modern
fiance. For entertainment, it tops off
p evening as nothing else can, unless
it be a game of pinochle."
No. 4. Attorney K. L. Meyer: (De
leted by censor.)
No. 5. County Judge Ira L. Tash:
'Among the greatest pleasures I get
,n life is fining a bootlegger, banding
a package to a game warden, or
preaching to a preacher. They deserve
all they pet."
"I'm thinking of roing
place to jret a meal,"
st ranger.
"Well, if that's the case, why don't
you iro in?"
"I'm waiting," said the
gently, "to see if any men
noses go in there first."
strap gvr,
with red
Hid you ever stop to ronsider that
the man who is continually blowing
his own born alwavs remains at the
ittle end?
No living man can truthfully say
that his words weigh over four pounds
apiece.
Speaking of those noe
how long has it been since
blossoms,
you have
seen one ,
Commissioner Carrelf
It was a Harvard, Neb., banker whn
immortalized himself by a.-king, in all
seriousness, if "Ilabe Ruth" wen? a
nickname given to the daughter of
William Jennings I'.ryan. Now conies
an lowan who goes him even one let
ter. He claims to have known Baln
Ruth when she was only a choriu girl.
Boston "Hull."
"Iy down, pup. I,ay down. That's
a good doggie. I, ay down, I tell you."
"Mister, you'll have, to say 'Lie
down.' He's a Boston terrier."
There has been some agitation for a
new motto for coins. The American
legion Weekly offers this one: "Abide
With Me."
Today's Hooch Story.
The party had been circumventing
the eighteenth amendment. Stopping
in front of a residence, one of them
pulled the doorbell uncertainly. A
window was thrown open above.
"Misish Brown," called up the
spokesman, "woujoo mind comin
down and pickin' out Mishter Brown
from ush? Those that aren't him
wanter go home."
Viacn'f taken
11-1 VUII.l. . . ., .
the hint. His resignation ha not been -v .... .
tianded in.
Can it be possible that he doesn't
read the Alliance papers?
"Well, they tell us that he received
six copies of a certain issue of one
-f them. Some mean folks say they
svere mailed in one package, from the
office. Others think his admirers
mailed them to him.
Thus, you see, the good taste of a
joke depends entirely on the one who
perpetrates it.
Today's Best Story.
At a recent term of court. Judge
Paine questioned a woman who was
defending a suit for divorce.
"So you deceived your husband?"
"No, judge, on the contrary, he de
ceived me. He said he was going
out of town and didn't go."
If it hadn't been that corporal pun
ishment is barred by law, the court
might have ordered the hooch vendors
slapped on the wrist.
As Humpty Dumpty would have
said, "There's glory for you!"
Officially, however, the nuisance is
now abated.
This Happened in Scottsbluff.
"Why are you standing here so
long?" asked the fly cop of a fellow
vho had parked himself in front of
a restaurant and had stood there for
nearly an hour and a half.
Reminds us of the story of the
fellow who timidly pushed a doorbell
Does Jim hmith
live here?" he asked. A sour voice
from inside answered: "Yes, bring
him on in."
It was Abe Martin who first said:
'Tarents that name their sons Roscoe
have got to take the consequences.
Kven as You and I!
Not maoy frugal ways have I,
When times were middling fair
I bought a block of clear blue sky
With cash that I could spare.
The dealer, when I made the trade
Pronounced it worth twice w hat I paid,
He was a shark, and I a ham,
A fish, a brainless gink;
The stock was never worth anything
If I had stopped to think;
Twas his to think, and to convince
And I've done all the thinking since.
Doc. Bixby, in State Journal.
The course of treatment prescribed
by Dr. Rotary to overcome cases of
enlarged dignity is about the most
efficacious known to science.
With the Ku Klux Klan increasing
in membership at the rate of five
hundred per week in Nebraska alone,
one wonders why the organizers have
overlooked so fruitful a ned as AIM
ance.
Weve got every other kind of a
secret organization but the Klan, and
inasmuch as the initiation fee is
mere trifle, ten simoleons, there isn't
any reason why there shouldn't be a
procession of white sheeted figures all
over these immortal sandhills.
Imperial Theater
TONIGHT
EILEEN PERCY in
4 Why Trust Your Husband
A Screen Farce Comedy.
Usual Short Subjects Adm. 9 and 27c
SATURDAY, SEPT. 17
SPECIAL SPECIAL SPECIAL
PAULINE FREDERICK
in
"Roads of Destiny"
Taken from O. Henry's Story
SPECIAL LECTURE Uy
REV. MINORT
Between the First and Second Shows.
Rev. Minort has read this story and owing to the true
moral of it has taken it for the subject of his lecture. Come
early. Don't miss a treat.
MUTT AND JEFF VANITY COMEDY
Admission 9 and 36c and war tax.
SUNDAY, SEPT. 18
OLIVE THOMAS in
"Footlight and Shadows"
MONDAY, SEPT. 19
EDITH ROBERTS, in
"Thunder Island"
It doesn't iav to kid them roarin'
I, ion. Rill Harper has traveled in
Colorado a lot. but be has never told
exactly what he thought about the
Kockics.
It was a ca.-e, we understand, not of
Food Kit for the Cods," but "Food to
Make the Cods Fit.''
Monte Hargraves has visions of
udden wealth. He intends to find a
And which has tin affinity for golf
balls, and will make a fortune locat
ing thMn. All offers for partnership
rights have tx-en turned down. It's
the biggest thing since the H-H Com
pany, Inc., was organized.
ELLSWORTH.
F. M. Hoenshell was in Ellsworth on
business Friday. He leaves word that
the section foi-ce at this point will be
increased to fifteen men at once anu
will be left on until freezing weather.
On account of recent heavy traffic the
tracks will not be in shape through
the winter unless the force u increas
ed.
Saturday evening Mr. and Mrs. P.
E. Law doliehtfullv entertained the
"married folks bunch" at Progressive
Whist. All spent a most pleasant
evening more especially Mrs. J. 1j
Young and Mr. Wightman who start
ed Dlavintr at Table No. One and al
though every one had a chance, they
unsuccessful in driving them away
from the head table both winning five
consecutive games. Those present
were Mr. and Mrs. Walter Wightman,
Mr. and Mrs. John Schonard, Mr. and
Mrs. J. U. Kennedy, Mr. and Mrs. C.
L. Mumhv. Mr. and Mrs. J. L. Young,
and Mrs. Dick of Aneroid, Assk., who
is visiting her brother, waiter Wight-
man. Mrs. Dick was guest or honor.
The merriment continued till a late
hour after which delicious refresh
ments were served.
Several pupils from schools outside
of this district were enrolled at our
school for the ninth grade. Owing to
the large attendance thi.i year Miss
Craig was unable to divide her time
for the other grades and still teach
the ninth, thus this grade was elimin
ated as work for pupils in this district
would not have been accredited with
out regular forty-five minute periods
Miss Florence Wehr, Miss Stephina
Dukat, Edson Wilcox, and Miss Ruth
Crofutt had planned taking the ninth
grade.
Haying on nearly all the ranches is
now completed. The Spade ranch has
released about ten men employed for
huyine and smaller ranches are like
wise releasing men. The Avery ranch
about thirty miles south of Ellsworth
has yet considerable hay to be put up
but they can no doubt obtain plenty of
help from nearby ranches who have
completed their work.
Sunday the ball team Journeyed to
Bingham. The day being cold and
misty several players from both teams
were missing, however Black pitching
for Ellsworth performed excellent and
hit two two base hits and one three
sacker. On account of the weather
numerous errors were piled up on both
both sides. Bingham bunching some
hits linked with untimely errors put
them away in the lead in the fourth
inning, however a batting rally by
Ellsworth tied the score 15 to 15 but
Bine-ham finally won out running in
the winning score in the last of the
ninth inning.
Sunday, Septemler IS, the last
home game of the season will be play
ed at Ellsworth against the fast "Oil
Magnates". Black of Alliance will be
on the mound for Ellsworth and Rob
inson for Antioch . This promises to
be a good game, don't miss it, the
last one of the season.
Henry Dillman and J. L. .Young at
tended Masonic lodu-e at Hyannis, C.
J. Hitt of Lakeside relieving Mr.
Young at the depot.
Mrs. J. L. Young left Tuesday for
Ardmore, S. D., where she will visit
at the home of her mother, Mrs. H. E.
Joseph.
S. D. Watson was a business visitor
in Bingham and Ashby the first of the
week. Mr. Watson is secretary of the
Farm Loan association and it was in
this interest that he was working
while in Bingham and Ashby.
Geo. HanitF of Casper who has Ix en
employed at the Joy ranch all summer
returned to his home Wednesday. Ed
ward Kennedy in also home from his
work at the Joy ranch.
. Eugene Kennedy left Tuesday for
an extended visit with relatives in
Omaha and Chicago. Gene may per
haps attend school in the east this
winter.
Mr. and Mrs. Ross Schafenberg are
visiting at the home of the latter.
They are soon planning a trip to Cas
per, where Ross will be employed with
the Burlington this winter.
Mike Peterson and S. E. Stewart
are now acknowledged whist cham
pions of this vicinity having badly
trounced the former champions who
had held the belt for the preceding
year. However, they had better watch
their step as the ex-champions plan a
strong comeback and finals will prob
ably be played next Saturday evening.
Saturday, September 24, the Bing
ham Band and Community club will
give an Old Settlers' Picnic and Bar
lecue. A good time is anticipated and
the Ellsworth ball team will probably
play against the Bingham aggregation.
TTTTfTT
tmmnniimaaan:
Highlander Re-Elect Officers.
LINCOLN-W. E. Sharp, Lincoln,
vas elected president of the Royal
Highlanders, a fraternal insurance so
ciety at its convention at Denver Wed
nesday. W. B. McQueen, San Diego,
Cul.? was elec'ed worthy evangel; F.
J. Sharp, Lincoln, was elected chief
secretary. Other officers elected fol
low: A. E. Siekmann, chief trea-urer,
Aurora, Neb.; C. A. Smith, Tdden,
Neb., F. H. Hanke, Sutton, Neb.; L. J.
Siekmann, Hastings, and J. C. Peter
son, York, Neb., were elected members
of the executive board.
Another
90'
$525
Factory
$525
Factory
Jig Cut on the
Chevrolet 4
A Famous Model
Improved
The "Four-Ninety" line has been refined and im
proved to supply such finishing touches as were neces
sary to make it a thoroughly balanced, reliable, econ
omical and comfortable motor car.
It means that the Chevrolet "Four-Ninety", al
ways a good car, is a better automobile than ever be
fore. It is better in design, better in construction, better
in detail of finish, better in every way.
It is a car that standsunit head and shoulders above
every other car in its class.
With a powerful valve-in-head motor, standard
selective type transmission, strong rear Axle construc
tion, Timken bearings in front wheels Crevrolet
Model "Four-Ninety" shares the features of some of
the highest-priced cars.
Judged by any standard, the Crevrolet "Four-Ninety"
is a greater automobile value. Therefore, it is of
greater value to you.
And here are the improvements which made Model
"Four-Ninety" a better Chevrolet.
FRONT AXLE
1. New steering knuckle arms have been installed on
the front axle, having a heavier section and made
with a tapered shank for attaching to steering
knuckle.
,2. New steering knuckle with tapered holes, to match
the shank of the new steering knuckle arm have
been installed.
3. King bolts on the front axle have been increased
from 1-2" to 9-16" in diameter.
4. New hard rolled bronze bushings are being used to
accommodate the new king bolts. These bronze
bushings reduce wear and eliminate the necessity
for replacement on account of looseness. .
5. Timken bearings with smooth bore cones are being
used on both inner and outer bearings.
6. Grease cup is now assembled on the steering knuckle
which new construction not only makes it more ac
cessible but assures both upper and lower ends of the
king bolt ample lubrication.
REAR AXLE
1. A new rear axle, in which a spiral bevel ring gear
and pinion is used, is now a part of the construction.
This axle is much stronger and quieter than the old
type of straight tooth construction.
2. A new pinion thrust bearing installation with an
nular bearings has been installed.
Transmission Alignment
1. Engine and transmission are now assembled in a
unit with their connecting members and are drilled
and assembled in a unit jig which gives positive
alignment within 5-1000 of an inch. This alignment
is retained in the hardest kind of service.
Brake Arrangement
1. New emergency hand-brake lever has been installed
with the addition of the hand-brake lever .bracket,
together with re-design of the pull rods and re
arrangement of the brake pedal parts.
This improved construction means longer life and
greater economy of up-keep. Every unit in the Model
"Four-Ninety" is designed for perfect co-ordination
with the powerful valve-in-hcad motor. Every part is
designed for quietness and wear resistance.
RIMER MOTOR CO
Alliance, Nebraska.
li