EIGHT
THE ALLIANCE HERALD. FRIDAY, JUNE 17, 1921
E. G.'s Column
"Modem Clothe Tor Men"
308 Box Dutte Ave.
ALLIANCE, NEBRASKA
n
Ul L-il
I puess that l m not a full fledged
rditor yet, for I Ho not dare as much
one of them, or I miffht put the
jiamca to this little happening jester-clay.
He live right close to the fair
grounds, but the ornery fair associa
tion have built a high board fence
right in the way no that he can't Fee
the laces from his porch, but they
lon't control his household one bit
and it wasn't their fault that the
chimney needed fixing yesterday after
noon, and it Isn't any of their business
that ho had to go up to fix it, but
after it was fixed, he just calmly Bat
clown on top of his chimney to look
around, and one of the races being on,
just naturally looked that way.
Well, his wife arrived home about
that time, and the race being near
the finish he was so intent upon peeing
the finish, that he did not see his wife
arriving home, and ho thinking it a
Kood joke, she goes in and starts a
fire in the range.
Well, it didn't take him long to dis
cover what was happening, but the
"ornery thing," he goes and takes olT
his hat and stuffs it into the chimney,
and smokes his wife out. That was a
imean trick of his.
Well, I am pretty sure that I am not
a good editor, or I should dare to put
the names along with this happening
the first of this week.
that at the appointed time the crowd
was so big that it taxed the house to
the utmost to accommodate the bunch,
but they were invited in, and a mighty
fine time they had, too, and one of j
those present told me that she never
had a better time in her young life,
and fhe said further, "We danced till
next morning at broad day light"
We are glad to see that home re
established, but it brings us to say
that we like to sell a wedding suit
once in a while, and that reminds us
of a story.
Just at the present time we have a
nice new wedding suit hanging on the
"sold"' clothes rack, and thinking it
would be a nice thing to do, and fol
lowing our usual custom, we just cas
ually slipped a nice white "four-in-hand"
tie into the pocket of the wed
ding suit, but imagine our surprise
yesterday, when we got a telephone
call, from a party who had just ar
rived home with a new suit from our
store, asking what was the idea of
putting a new beautiful white tie in
his pocket. We explained to beat the
band, but as yet he still has the new
white tie, and says he can use it at
times, and is going to keep it. We are
just out a nice tie to pay us for our
mistake of putting the tie in the
wrong suit.
But I don't blame the man for see
ing the races for they were good, and
the wrestling match was also good,
but the one tonight should be the big
gest drawing card of the whole race
meet and stockmen's convention, and
I would hate to miss it ,but Joe Stech-
Ver will have to be mighty careful or
Pete Sauer will tip him over and pin
him to the mat, and I shall be there
for I like the wrestling game, but I
want to call your attention to one
thing in particular.
They didn't get the divorce they
were asking for so there was no use
living separated, and at least one of
them paying house rent, so they went
home together, and the neighbors
thinking that it would be a good joke,
jihoned around, and agreed that it
would be proper and fitting to put on
an old fashioned charivari, so accord
ingly they noised it around, and the
neighbors for miles around got hold of
the proposition, and it was so good,
Have you noticed the preponderance
of new "Sailor Straw Hats" that the
people are wearing, well, if you have
not, then pay particular attention to
them tonight or try to remember them
at the races yesterday.
Well we sold a good many of them,
and they are right in price, for we did
not buy them till after the first of
June, wheA they went down at least
thirty-three per cent, and we are pass
ing the saving on to you, and so we
can seil them to you "Mighty Right."
Come in and look them over and be
convinced. Everybody ought to see
the window full of ties that we are
going to have this afternoon, and price
is the lightest that you have seen
since the war. These are nice new
ties and priced this week to sell, thirty
five cents or three for a dollar.
Youra as always,
"Modern Clothes For Men."
PERSONALS
The Misses Margaret and Emma
Barry returned Sunday night from a
two-weeks' vacation spent in the Black
Hills.
Mrs. John Bayne, of Aurora, Neb.,
arriver last week for a fortnight's
visit with her husband, who is can
vassing Box Butte county in the in
terests of The Herald.
F. E. Mesrfersmith of Anlioch at
tended the races yesterday.
Mrs. J. O. Bayne of Aurora is spend
ing a few days at the home of Theo.
Paschke, southwest of Hemingford.
Mrs. F. W. Kynett, of Omaha, ar
rived on 43 today for a few days' visit
with her sister, Mrs. G. L. Griggs.
Ilev. S. J. Epler will preach Sunday
afternoon at the Main school hou.se,
twenty miles west of town, where a
union Sunday school has been organ
ized. George Keith Johnson, the small son
of Mr. and Mrs. Harry Johnson, is the
mascot for this year of the Alliance
Grove 19o, Woodmen of the world and
has been presented with a signet ring
in honor of the event. It is the cus
tom of the lodj?e to appoint the first
baby born of the year to any of its
members as mascot for that your.
Mr. and Mrs. J. C. McCorkle, ac
companied by their daughter, Mrs.
Inice Dunningahd Mrs. W. R. Harper,
will leave Saturday morning by nuto
for Denver and Greeley, Coio. They
will spend several days there before
returning. Mrs. Dunning will remain
to take a music course at Greeley col
lege. Mr. Hayden of Omaha is the guest
of Mr. and Mrs. James Burlington
during the race meet.
Word was received by A. D. Rodg
ers, secretary of the local Highlander
castle, of the death of Mrs. Agnes
Hamilton of Long Pine. Death fol
lowed her rescue from a Platte river
flood last Monday. As Agnes Elmore,
she was well known to Alliance people,
and her former husband is a resident
of this citv.
EM GO!
Stay Here Saturday for
AuiLto Races
For those who like to sec a fast auto race we have "prepared the
following events which will take place Saturday, June 18, at the
Alliance Fair Grounds
TSvi'TilS.' Starting at 2:00 P. M. Sharp.
Program of Events
ZTZ". 10-MILE RACE FREE FOR ALL
& J' 3 5-MILE RACE STRICTLY FORDS
EST. 15-MILE RACE FREE FOR ALL
' r - 1
Come out and see them bum up the track. Some lively races are
in store for the spectators.
j..u- i. .
.1
ADMISSION -55 and 30
Alliance Chamber of Commerce
RANDOM SHOTS
Manv a man has been a marfvr tn
scientific investigation, but the palm
goes lo six bvanston, III., men who
investigated the effect of home brew.
What happened is tabulated as fol
lows:
No. 1 beat his wife.
No. 3 walked through a plate glass
window in mistake for a door.
No. 3 insisted on sleeping in an al
ley. No. 4 tried to water his automobile
at a horse trough.
No. 5 sang funeral hymns.
No. 6 held the head of No. 5 while
keeping time to the hymns.
An unfeeling magistrate, who was
almost totally devoid of scientific in
terest, fined those men $10 apiece. Just
how the country is expected to pro
gress in the face of this unintelligent
opposition is one of life's little mys
teries. One test for the drinkability of
home brew is to pour a little of the
stulT in a porcelain fink. If it eats the
enamel ofT, beware. If not, prosit 1
An Alliance man is said to be th
testing ground for the stuff his friends
make. They give him a drink before
they try their own brew. Brewing
may not be fraught with so much risk
as has been supposed, for the tester is
still walking around.
It's been a dull week only two new
scandals. However, they were good
ones.
Of course, it may be that we have
been so busy with the races that we
didn't hear the other six.
Here's what appeared in the columns
of an Indiana paper, when the reporter
got in a hurry and handed in an un
finished article, together with his notes
for completing it:
Miss Hattie Bray has resigned her!
position as teacher. Her resignations
will take ellect Wednesday. Mrs. Park
er will serve as substitute. Miss Bray
has taught in the Marvin street school
for six years.
Spill hot air on
faithful services.
Loss to school,
popularity,
characterictic traits, etc.
and make other complimentary remarks.
Thirty-five cents is a lot of money,
judging from the number of people
who parked their cars outside the fair
grounds for the fireworks exhibition.
The same fellows who get in free
will be crabbing about mismanage
ment if the race meet fails to pay
dividends this year.
Why not, if it happens again to
night, pass the hat.
Everylittle bit helps.
r
The meanest man has again been
discovered. He spent ten cents for a
toy baloon for the kid, and then took
care of it so the child wouldn't break
it.
We learned something yesterday. If
a kid makes up his mind he wants a
sack of popcorn or a bottle of pop, it
saves time, patience, perspiration and
profanity to buy it right off the bat
and not stall around.
posit them on another bench was aa
attractive young woman. Suddenly
she reached down, pulled off her shoes,
removed her stockings, turned them in
side out and replaced them. One of
the men, overcome by the curiosity
that is as prevalent among men as it is
said to be among women, asked her
why she did it. "My legs were- hot,"
she replied quickly, "and I decided to
turn the hose on "em."
Do you know what Box Butte county
farmers are doing. See page twp.
The Society for the Prevention of
Cruelty to Animals offers a priie of
$500 for a humane trap to be used in.
catching fur-bearing animals. Ii any
trap particularly humane?
Today's Best Story.
Two men were sitting on a park
bench in Omnha a short time ago. Op-
We haven't wen the "noiseless
typewriter so far, but what would a
noiseless typewriter amount to with
out a gumless typist?
In China the bride-elect sends her
future husband his wedding clothes.
And she probably forgets to put any
pockets n them.
i ill an v cm
Let AL. take personal care of your car. Go over it
once a month and tighten every bolt, spread the spring
leaves, clean ajid grease them ; take out every squeak and
rattle; wash and polish; prevent serious damages to car
and you by seeing that every part is in proper condition.
AL. will keep the new car new, and the old car newer, t
It's service you want, and service you get at
AL'S AUTO SERVICE
Rear of Masonic Temple
HARPER' S-
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h'vtvanwHinniv ktvii nnn vaiiiA.i.ivinw . - . r.
Demonstration Saturday , '
Charming
Summer Hats
r COOL AS THE SEA BREEZES
' " IN DAINTY SHEER TRANSPARENT GEORGETTE AND ij?
. SUMMER SILKS WHITE A N D DELICATE TINTS. '
For Light Dresses and Sport Apparel
Exclusive in Designs
Distinctive in Styles
$5.00 $7.50 . $10.00
The out-of-the-ordinary values in this special offering are the
result of a purchase from one of the leading millinery nouses in
America. As is our policy, our buying advantages are shared
with our patrons. .... ,4. Mtjtom
RVRRY TTAT FRRSTT AND NEW. WORTH MUCH MORE
THAN THE SALE PRICE. ..WE SUGGEST THAT YOU. - -- -
, , SEE THESE HATS AND SHARE .IN THE -SAVINGS- v
07-,. r r SHOP EARLY. SATURDAY '
BIG STORE 1 mZHn3EUAd