FOUR
THE ALLIANCE HERALD. FRIDAY, APRIL 29, 1921
RANDOM SHOTS
An Alliance youth, iuarrelinsr with
Ms sweetie, bescechcd her thusly:
"Let's kif and make up." And this
J whit 'b 'old him: "If you're care
ful, 1 won't have to."
How Come?
George ItulT, the veteran cu.-iod!an
ot tijua cemetery, was Hked the
other day about the locnfnn of a cer
tain crave. He gave ofT hand minute
direct. ons for Touching it. The in
quirer expressed surprise at the readi
ness of the information.
"Oh," said Mr. Huff, deprecating!)-,
"the folks out here don't move around
fcs much as they do downtown."
The most dastardly thieves on record
n the follows who stole two ukeleles
from an automobile in Lincoln. Just
Vrhy anyone should park ukeleles !n an
automobile is a mystery, but offhand
we should say that anv car containing
two of the things ought to be robbed,
just as any house with two phono
graphs deserves like treatment.
Maybe Kverett True Is on the war
Jath again.
Whv do women ask advice? A
friend innuired of us how much ice
cream eight small boys could rnt, sind
-wanted to be sure that all of them
would have enough. We gave her a
conservative estimate of a gallon.
She decided a quart and a half would
he sufficient. We'll leave it to the
first eight boys we meet.
Lucky she didn't ask us how much
ice cream would give eight small
boys the tummy-ache.
The chemists have a term which
they use in similar cases the "point
of saturation." Poc Reynolds used to
say that he had often been satur ited
with ham and cabbage, that is, hcl
had nil he could eat but ihut he
never had all he wanted.
Our point of saturation for riblugo
Is the same as for carrots we're al
ways there.
We finally saw the end of the rein
deer, but carrots endure forever.
One of the things that makes the
ordinary man wild is to prepare a
beautiful speech, spend a couple of
hours memorizing it, and then have
it slip away from you right at the
time you need it most.
Our best thoughts always come Ico
late for publication.
Or else it isn't advisable to publish
them.
The automobile dealer was grouch
ing a bit. "I thought 1 had a custo
mer lined up," he said,- "but I dis
covered my mistake. He's even mort
gaged his chicker.F."
Our respect for sunny California
tlroppcd several notches yesterday,
when we learned that in Berkley 23fi
persons claimed a $ bill advertised
by the police.
The thing that sounded the most
fi.ny about the story was that the
police had advertised it.
If you ever had an idea that the
literary life Is a happy one, tnke note
that 'his week we purchased five pcr
fect'y good poems at the rate of 20
cents apiece. There's more real
money in bootlegging.
It's a lone time after the city elec
tion, but we ran across the umpty-
steenth brother yesterday who laid
claim to electing Monte Hargraves.
Hously. "But, say, when the devil did
you get made a sergeant?"
Down nt Lincoln, the newspapers
are slewing ar.d the barber shop pa
trons are trembling because ' it is
feared that the man who wants a
haircut will have to pay 10 cents for
it. Tho.e poor prunes , don't know
when they re well olf.
PERSONALS
We believe him, no, matter how
many doubt his word.
We'd even believe a' man if he told
us that he was responsible for the
republican victory last, November.
Somebody must have been at the bot
tom of it, and we refuse to credit
Woodrow Wilson or Will Hays.
Kid Story for Today
Eight-year-old Ruth was having
her first party. Before the guests
came mother gave her a long talk on
the duties of a hostess, and told her
to be sure that every one was served
with all the refreshments. And Ruth
promised.
But among the guests was one lit
tle miss who was very shy. She did
not play any of the games, she did
not converse, and when the ice cream
was brought forward refused to take
any. Then Uuth came over to her.
"You must cat some," she insisted, of
fering her another dish of cream.
The little visitor jihook her head.
"I don't want any," she persisted.
"But you must cat it," Kuth in
sisted. "You must eat it even if you
have to throw it up afterward."
Ever since the "hot dog" episode,
the Lions haven't growled once at the
grub. Jesse has' been dishing out
milk-fed terrapin and that class of
stutL Once in a great while it pays
to crab.
At other times, the waitress slips
salt in the milk.
Today's Best Story
It had been a fairly warm evening,
but about 11 p. m. it became bitterly
cold and Patrolman Sr.orkins decided
he would chance it and go and fetch
his great-coat. So flipping away
from his beat he hurried round to his
cottage and, throwing some gravel
against his wife's bedroom window,
he shouted: "Chuck me out my coat,
old dear."
The wife chucked out the coat and,
putting it on in the darkness, he
hurried back to his beat.
"Hello, Bill," he said to his police
man pa! who was waiting for him at
the end of the bert. "1 just, slipped
round and got mv coat. It's bloom
ing cold, ain't it?"
"It is," agreed Bill, eyeing him cu-
A MEAL on the TABLE h
worth TWO on the FLOOR.
Don't drop the food, but drop the
habit of using pans with weak
handles. ONE-FOURTH OFF
SALE OF UNIVERSAL SEAM
LESS ALUMINUM WARE AT
NE WHERRY'S MAY 2 TO 7.
I
AKESIDE
Mrs. George Llndley entertained the
ladies' kensington club Thursday after
noon, April 21, at her home in West
Lakeside. Those present were the .
Mesdames Miller, Black, Morris, Mc
(iinniss and Reynolds and the Misses
Edythe Harris, Mildred Beaston, Alice
Black, Lois Miller and Master Darrall
McGlnnis.
Frank PcFrance was' in town from
the ranch Tuesday morning.
Ross Shaffenburg was n Lakeside
visitor Tuesday from the VanAlstine
ranch.
Mrs. I. D. Whaley and little grand
daughter went to Alliance Tuesday.
Vm. Wintermute was in town from
his home near the Spade ranch Tues
day. Air. Harris, traveling salesman was
in town the first of this week.
F. M. Hoenshell, road master, was
in town on company1 business Tues
day. Air. and Mrs. Ollic Weaver and chil
dren, Dwight and Irene drove to Alli
ance Tuesday evening and returned
borne Wednesday afternoon.
Messrs. Case and Bromhnugh drove
down from Antioch Tuesday.
Henry Bond, traveling salesman for
Paxton & Gallagher Co., va9 m town
Tuesday and Wednesday. ;
Operator Charles Hitt left for Den-j
vrtr Timclur tn a four rluvt' vnittr
Mrs. May Larson who is visiting onA,laramlic:
relatives here was an Alliance visitor
Monday and 'Tue.-u'ay.
The ladies' aid society held an all
day meeting at the. church Wednesday.
C. C. Grimes was a Lakeside visitor
on business Wednesday.
George David, is reported on the sick
list this week.
Bertha and Ed. T:er rode in from
the ranch Wednesday. Ed. was a we.-t
Mr. G. L. Grigcs left today for
Lincoln, Neb., to visit her daughter,
anss jiKired i.nggs. who Is a student
at the university. She will be present
at the Mothers Day program, Satur
day, April 3il, given by Kappa Alpha
Theta of which Mr.. Griggs is presi;
dent. .
Mr. and Mrs. A. E. Lyons and fam
ily returned Sunday from Iowa, after
a live week visit in their old home.
Mrs. A. O. Scott of Angora wax an
Alliance visitor Wednesday. She left
the last of the week for" Creighton,"
Neb., where she will make her home..
About two weeks ago the Scott home
near Angora was completely destroyed
by fire.
Mrs. Jane Earp is reported very ill.
Mr. H. O. Condit is transacting
business in Edgemont and Deadwood,
South Dakota.
Two auto loads from Scoltsbluff
came over Wednesday evening to at
tend the I. O. O. F. canton here, at
which four candidates wee initiated.
James Carmody returned home on
Wednesday to accept a position at the
C. B. & Q. storehouse.
Mrs. N. J. Fletcher who 'has been
verv ill with laryngitis is no better.
E. C. Drake and family have.moved
from their rooms on Box Butte, to
their residence on Niobrara.
Miss Florence Whaley who has been
visiting in Colorado Springs for the
past few weeks, has returned home.
Grace Johnson returned Wednesday
after a week's, vacation spent at Sid-
net.' nnl TloAi KVia u-no riiMnMnnMn,l
! home by Mrs. H. K. Armstrong, of
Sidney, who will remain for a few
days' visit.
Mrs. Pryor, mother of Mrs. T.
Beck well, sustained a very painful fall
Wednesday when she slipped on the
steps leading to the back porch. Her
ank'e was badly sprained.
The ehild of Mr. and Mrs. Melvin
Co'erick, living six miles north of
town, has been seriously ill for the
past week.-
Mr. and Mrs. Alhon Hall are mov
ing into the housekeeping apartment
formerly occupied by Mrs. Agnes
Chapman at the R. M. Tinhorn home
King Alfonso is part owner of a
movie corporation. He knows wliere
i real power lies.
Maybe they rouge so as to pet ar
modest feeling of having something:
on.
'on't let Mother know
this secret
n
May 8th is the day to surprise
her with this Brunswick
bound passenger on No.43.
NOTICE
Regular eighth, grade pupils' exam
inations will be given 5lay Ith and
Cth at the court house in Alliance and
the school .house in Hemingford.
OPAL RUSSELL.
43-45 County Superintendent.
What has become of the man who
wanted a free trip to "Mars via a skyrocket.
Mrs. Agnes Chapman returned
Tuesday night after a five months'
stay in Los Angele.-", Cal. She visited
at Portland, Ore., on her way home.
Mrs. Chapman and s"on will live at the
Benedict home, 921 Box Butte.
KEEP-U-NEAT
Cleaning and Dyeing; Saving You
Clothes; saves you money. Ladies'
and men's clothing carefully cleaned
and pressed or dyed. Hats cleaned i
an ' dblocked. Telephone information j
gladly given. Out of town orders are
given prompt attention. Prices are
right.
D. C. BRADBURY, Trop.
Thone 133 207 Box Butte
Alliance, Nebraska
IleraJd Want Ads Results.
Your Mother has heard, no doubt,
of the Mothers' Day Club, but
he has no idea whether you are
one of the members. But a great
many Mothers are wondering.
We don't intend to give the
secret away here. A good
many sons and daugh
ters now belong to the
Mothers' Day Club and
arc preparing to give their
Mothers a big surprise.
Mothers' Day Club is a '
Brunswick idea, a happy
conception, and one you'll
be delighted with, once
you come in and learn the
details.
W jiff 51
BIN
m
Model 112
It al! centers around d surpris
for Mother and an easy way for
you to give her that surprise.
In includes numerous features
aside from presenting her with a
wonderful E runs wick No.
112 and a special collec
tion of Records.
To take part in the ad
vantages of Mothers' Day
Club, the first step is to
come in and ascertain the
details the secrets we
can't publish. As the time
is short, we suggest an
early visit
THIELE 'S
The Store With a Guarantee Without Red Tafe
Points
to
be
Considered
In Buying the Family
Gar
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Electrical
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gee the Models at the Auto Show May 6th and 7th
STURGEON GARAGE
LEE STURGEON, Proprietor
