TlIE ALLIANCE HERALD. TUESDAY, FEllJiUAUnObJr
RANDOM SHOTS
From dear old Boston cornea a
conundrum that is so Rood that we'll
have to break over our rule and pass
it alonjr: "Why is an after-dinner
speech like a woman's skirt?" The
answer: "Because it should be lonjr
enough to cover the bare facts, yet
short enough to be interesting. '
A friend of ours, who happens to
be spending his third week in ouar
antine. telephones that it's a hard life
for a busy man. "I've even got tired
of holding my wife's hand," he com
plains. If John Ladd is having as hard a job
as we are to line up a feminine part
ner for the printers' party, there'll be
a couple of unattached men absent and
not accounted for. Heaven protects
the poor wovkfng girl I
There's a regular crime wave at
Bennet, which is in this state some
where. Vandals are doing such devil
ish tricks as untying hoies, carrying
away signs, and one assassin tore
down the town's only thermometer ami
"completely smashed it." The Sun
calls it "guerrilla warfare" and is as
much worked up about it as Kufus
Jones is over the Minatare firebugs.
Five years ago when a man talked
about passing a law to enforce his
private opinions no one paid any at
tention. But times have changed. It
pays to listen to anybody who men
tions a new law nowadays, because
the first thing you know he may go
and get it passed, says the revered
Saturday Evening Tost.
A painter got a serious fall while
decorating the interior of the Sun of
fice at Aurora. That's nothing most
of the customers will have heart fail
ure the first time they get a look at
the place after it is dolled up. Those
are the penalties a printer must ex
pect to pay when he puts on style.
If the "bluenose" element ever puts
through their list of Sunday restric
tions, we may see the day when it will
be illegal to sell gasoline on Sunday,
except to a doctor. Think of slapping
a stiff fine on a gasoline bootlegger.
Suggestion for the historical mu
seum of the chamber of commerce: A
copy of President Plumbe's three-hour
speech to the stockholders of the Alli
ance Packing oompany, which ended
half an hour before the organization
breathed its last.
It's a terrible death to be talked to
death it's a horrible death to die.
We were getting our shoes shined
the other evening we do that once in
a while, despite the general impres
sion to the contrary and in blew a
breezy high school youth. He chatted
away quite merrily about how easy it
is to put things over on the faculty.
''Why," he said, "time and again I've
smoked cigarettes right outside the
main entrance. And I've chewed to-
acco in the assembly room, too." Hi;
ompanion, who was openly admiring
the nerve of the intrepid youth wht
lidn't give a hang for the regulations
asked: "But where do you spit?" The
Fearless One told him, without a mo
ment's hesitation. "In the inkwell,
he said.
The following poem shows the feai
i'ul trend of the times:
YOU KNOW IT.
Sam's girl is tall and slender,
My girl is fat and low.
Sam's girl wears silks and satins,
My girl wears calico.
Yarn's girl is fast and speedy,
My girl is pure and good.
Do you think 1' swap my girl foi
Sam's ?
You know darned well I would!
We suppose this sory will Ik
grounds for some reformers to rise
up and demand that chewing tobacco
!e abolished; or th;it front doors br
done away w'th; or that teachers br
removed; or shoe shining parlors reg
ulated. It's the chance of a lifetime
nnd we aren't charging a cent for ih
tip on a first class crusade.
The high school youth spoke with
evident sincerity, but there was onr
po'nt that troubled us. Once in p
while, in our unregenerate youth, we
took a chew, and we have never yet
seen "an inkwell large enough to last u.1
over five minutes.
We'll gamble, however, that some
one looks over the inkwells, just to
make sure.
It mav interest some people to know
that the' Pennsylvania state movie cen
sors held up "The Miracle Man" fo
some time, and finally insisted or
chopping out a scene or two. See if
you can figure out which ones.
In the scrimmage the little man had
been knocked down and trampled or
"Stand back, there!" shouted the be
nevolent stranger. "Give him air. and
hurrv up with the brandy." "Nevei
mi mi about the air," murmured the
patient in a faint voice.
Heretofore the only way to get fifty
seven people out to the same prayer
meeting has been to serve ice cream
and cake.
Never again will we say that a w
man can't take a joke. The Boss o'
the Palm Room, in conjunction with
the Incomparable Waitress, put one
- in innniviinn with reindec
l I Kill U- in 1 -
sausauge that will keep us properly sub
dued for the best pan 01 a muma.
You see, we rather wittily comment-
! ed on the fact that we migni, eav irm
; .1 nn,i Mint vprv niirnt the
i I. W. informed us that no matter what
I we ordered, we'd get reindeer sausage.
, Now, reindeer, according to our ideas.
xnp like a mixture of mutton and
dog, and you can figure how our ap
; petite faded away between the time we
reluctantly put in our order for rein
deer sausage and the time we got our
veal chops.
Boys and Girls
Ask Yourself These
Questions
And Then Answer Them
What are you going to do when you grow up?
Are you going to be your own boss or work
for someone else?
Will you be independent and have your own
home, or will you be one" of the many who just
scrape and manage to make both ends meet?
It all depends on you.
Nearly all of the great men of this country
began to prepare for success when they were
young like you.
The first step is to save what you earn and
are given. The folks at home will be glad to
help you.
Then, when the time comes for you to go to
college, or start out for yourself, you will be
equipped for the fight
Every penny you save now puts you that much
ahead of the boy or girl who does not save.
Children's accounts are always welcome at this
bank, no matter how small they may be.
First National Bank
ALLIANCE
-:-
NEBRASKA
iRUUKS AGAIN ( KNSORSIUP
AND SUNDAY CLOSING
(Continued from Page 1)
The ii-utit is mat the eoi!e who are
lamoring foi censorship are at'ompt
ng, in the name of protecting the
hildren, to impose on you their ideas
what is right and wrong. There
s no assurance that their ideas nre
he right, ones, any more than the
leas of the fanatics w ho burned inno
rnt gills to death as w tches were
ght, but if they succeed in getting
his bill passed, it will make no Kf
rence. Physicians are positive that
'ie average man and woman eat a
ood many th!ngs that are harmful
nd detrlment-.d to health, but they
ave rot as yet h;id the sublime nerve
o attempt to cet- the legislature to
egulate your diet.
The Child Standard for Adults.
We bri eve that, you wll resent thi
ttcmn on the part of a handful or
' '.nnt'ral reformers to s'y what kird
f moviPT pictures you may see. We
HMieve mat you wll otucct to unv at-
ompt. however well inenn'ne, to make
be i-'tandard of amusement for ten
e:ro'd children vour standard, just
s you would object to bc'ng forced
v sti-te nuthor'ty to wear knicker
ockors. e:it h-il'liy oatmeal for your
ireaktf t. or hraul your hair, it you
have hair to braid.
If you will ro over the answers to
'he movie miestinns given by Alliance
pupils, you will realize that if this is
the best case the censorship advo
cates can make, it is pretty weak.
You will f!nd that the treat majority
f the pupus go to the movies nut
mce or twice a week, which is cer
vn'v not oTon enough to interfere
v.th their r.tuies or their health.
You will find th;t a large proportion
ot them like tir wnoiesome western
days, or the good dramas, which is a
'lir indication that the minds and the
norals of ninety-nine out of a hun
r"t hnve rot been damaged. You
v" 11 f'pd. of course, hr.t the children
lo not like all the pictures they see.
Fbo younger students sny they cannot
inderstand some of them. A few of
he oliler girls sny they think parts of
few films are emnarrnssing, hut in
11 the time we have conducted a mo
tion picture show at Alliance, we havj
never heard a high school girl or a
parent compla:n that a picture was in-
lecent, nor have we ever seen one get
up and leave a performance for tha
reason.
A Youthful Entertainer.
Two children are reported to hac
declared that they spend as murh as
5 a week at the picture show. That
sounds like a whole lot of money it
js a wnoie lot oi money ana we lire
prepared to say there isn't a child ii
vlliance who has spent that amount
n any one week, let alone maintain
ng that hih an average. Figure it
ut for yourself: Children's admis
sions are 20 cents. To spend $5 in
week, a child would have to attend
twenty-five times. We have but seven
shows a week. To spend that much,
a boy would have to bring three
friends with him and attend every
night. It's simply out of the question.
if this had actually been done, how
ever, we can assure you mai in no
other way would he have been able to
entertain his friends tor so little
money.
This Fort of statement is character
istic of the so-called evidence that will
oe presented to the legislature. Do
vou not object to being "made the
goat" on such flimsy testimony?
We do our utmost to conduct a
clean, hiirh grade show. We use every
care in selecting the films to be pre
sented. Without casting any bouquets
at ourselves, we believe the Imperial
runs as high grade a performance as
any in the state. Sometimes we are
disaonointed in the films we receive
but we never make the same kind of
a mistake twice. The chief fault that
we have to find with the few films we
disapprove is not that they are inde
cent, but that they are dull and unin
teresting.
Censorship in the Home.
No person in Alliance is obliged to
attend the picture show, t.very ai
traction we run is advertised in four
or more ways. We use newspaper
sDace in both papers; we use the lm
perial News, our own publication; we
distribute handbills and plaster the
billboards. Anyone who can see or
read can tell in advance whether any
particular show will appeal to them
If parents think a play may be unfit
ior their children to see and we will
never bring one of that kind to Alii
ance if we can help it they should
exercise their own authority of cen
sorship and stay away, an dkep their
children at home. They have no right
to say that another, whose judgment
may not coincide with theirs, hal not
see the play. Neither should this au
thority be granted to any three people
trt the sti.te. there are no three peo
pie fit to exercise it.
State censorship, however, is not the
only problem that is up for discus
sion, in Alliance, wimin me past iew
days, a petition has been circulated on
the quiet, the object of which is to
close the Alliance theater on Sunday.
This petition has not been made pub
lic in fact, there is evidence ior be
lieving that the people behind this
move do not want publicity. They are
making a house-to-house canvass, and
presenting it only after they are sat
isfied that the person with whom they
are talking is in favor of Sunday
closing. Those who think otherwise
are not let in on the secret if it can
be avoided.
People Favor Sunday Shows.
The Sunday closing question has
been fought out in Alliance before,
and the last time the public voted
upon it. the vote was overwhelmingly
in favor of allowing Alliance people
the right to spend their bundaya as
they wanted to spend them not as a
minority thought the day should be
observed. We are safe in calling: it a
minority, for the last election showed
70 per cent of the people in favor of
Banday theater.
if this matter ever gets as far as
a vote, think the matter over seri
ously before you mark your ballot
either for or against. Remember,
among other things, that the moving
picture keeps no man or woman away
from church. No one Is forced to t-
tentl Sunday shows. If Sunday clos-
ng is adopted, however, there will be
no place but the chuich to go. If any
one neglects his church, why blame
the moving picture show? Why not
place the blame where it rightly be-
ongs, on either the man himself or
he church he neglects?
When the last election on this ques
on was held, the writer made no
fight for or against the proposal. He
was absent from the city, in Montreal,
where his mother was seriously ill.
luring the entire campaign. The
fight was carried on by tho-e who
were not financially interested, yet.
he decision of Alliance was over
whelming. We believe th;it the i
cision today would be just ns em
lhatic as it was in 101 a.
Self. Hi
h Icons Reformer.
The move to c'ose the theatres on
Sunday is closely allied with the moe
for state censorship. In both cases.
the agitation is started by a few who
are not content that others shall form
their own judgment., but instead de-
ire to impose their opinion.- on the
re-t of the city or the state. If vou
believe that these self-righteou.j pee-
ie should he rebuked; if you bel.eve
hat you have a right to choose jour
own amusements on week days, and
spend Sunday, your only day of rest,
as you see fit, have the courage of
your convictions and take a stand
openly.
If the matter were ever put to a
referendum vote, it is probable that
the result would be the same as in
Nelson, where a secret ballot taken
showed that 75 per cent of the people
were opposed to censorship. The leg-
slature will not allow you to have
any vote as regards censorship, hut
you do have the right to write our
senator and representative. A letter
o Senator James W. Good, or Kcp-
resentative D wight P. Griswold, Lin
coln, will have an efTect. The bill
will Foon be up for action, and if the
letter is to be written, it should be
lone at once. Fortunately, you con
settle the Sunday closing agitation
by your own vote.
Ict me repeat that at all times, it
will be the endeavor of the Imperial
theater to exhibit only the n;ghest
grade shows, in the future, as in the
past. Any censoring that is to be done
should be done by yourself, not by a
board of fanatics whom you have no
power to either appoint or remove.
11. A. DUBUQUE.
COOl) PIANO FOlt RENT
ALLIANCE
IN
with privilege of buying at rpecial
prices and having all rent paid apply
on purchase price. Must be .villing to
rent at least six months. Give full
reference in first letter.
THK KN I GUT-CAM l'HHLL MUSIC
COMPANY,
Denver, Colorado. 10-28
Th - n Icrion In Nebraska
has refused to endorse a bill intra
duced in tne state legislature to pay
service men a cash bonus but havej
taken the ftnnd that substantial aid
in establishing the veterans with
farms and homes will prove of great?
benefit to the men and to the state
In Misourl, however, the legion Is back
of a bill which will provide a $10 cash
bonus for every month of service ot
Missouri veterans. Hoth state organ
izations are asking that November 11
be made a legal holiday, that service
men shall be given preference in pub
lic appointments and that the sport ot
boxing be legalized.
Stock hogs wanted by the Ne
braska Land Company. 103-tf .
A NNO UN CEMENT
THE SANITARY MARKET wishes to assure the public
that the beef Ixiught for pur: lie consumption of Wayne
Wilson, was thought by a few to lie diseased and therefore
unfit to Ik? sold, has been inspected by United States Veter
inary Inspector J. M. Simpson, and pronounced unquestion
ably O. K. The herd is tested every six months by State or
Federal Veterinarians and lias passed two consecutiva. tests
without evidence of tulierculosis. This meat is now being
sold over the counter at our market.
The Sanitary Market is careful at all times to
handle only those meats that are lieyond question,
and takes this means to assure the buying public
of this fact.
Sanitary Market
F. E. MELVIN, Prop.
o tl 5
A Few Specials
That Recommend Themselves Espe
cially to the Conservative Buyer
i A
We Find Ourselves Overstocked on Several Items After Inventory and
Will Sell Them Now for Less Money Than
Replacement Costs Will Permit.
END OF THE SEASON BARGAINS IN
PS
Wool Dresses
Originally Priced at
$32.50 to i $62.50
FOR THIS WEEK YOUR
CHOICE
AT
$i
9.75
Extra sizes included in This Sale.
2d Floor.
? 9 -o i
We have a fine selection of
Slightly Soiled
Bungalow Aprons
to be offered at
$1.15
A full assortment of Ladies'
Silk and-Wool
Munsing . Underwear
$5.50 and $6.00 values at
REDUCED PRICES
LADIES', MISSES' AND CHILDREN'S
SHOES
HIGH SHOES, PUMPS AND OXFORDS
at 20 Discount
Our entire stock
Pumps and Oxfords;
of Ladies' High Shoes,
also Misses' and Chil
dren's Shoes at a Discount of 20 PER CENT.
Horace
Store