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RANDOM SHOTS
Lieutenant Governor Tell Barrows,
better known as Acting Governor Bar
rows, is considerably peeved because !
Frank St. Claire, a convict to whom '
he had (riven a furlough, "betrayed
his confidence." Said Pell: "If I had
my way, I'd put him on bread and
water.''
Having betrayed the confidence of
the people of Nebraska by granting
this furlough, we can nee why Pell
would be vexed at the convict who
didn't have any better sense of the
fitness of things than himself.
Just because the old adage warns
against "putting trust in princes," we
fhould not necessarily conclude that
it's safe to trust everyone" else.
In JIartinsburg, V. Va., a violator
of the home brew laws stored his
concoction in a vacant room in the
county court house.
There used to be a well known
"locked room" in the Box Butte county
court house, but although we sniffed
around It occasionally, we never de
tected any odors of corn mash.
Wonder if that door is still locked?
We've been warned that if we set
to printing names in connection with
the little domestic difficulties we oc
casionally refer to in this scintillating
column, at least two people will be
off of us for life. Ordinarily, in such
cases, we wait until they get into
police court.
I Not of course, that there's any
danger.
Now, if it had been a fiatiron in
stead of a glass of water, it would
have got out of the joke class int&
the news columns.
Nebraska City Press: "Lute Lor
kins has been trembling in his boots.
He has Just read in the newspaperr
that federal prohibition agents are
about to make a clean-up in this part
of the state. Lute has been making
a home-made concoction from shoe
polish and yesterday's dish water and
wonders if it is 'Within the Law."'
Over a thousand people killed by t
violent earthquate in Albania last Sat
urday. The inspired head writer o'
the Platte Valley Daily News speaks
of it as an "earth tremor."
Oh, well that was perhaps the
kindest way to Fpeak of the affair.
We always expect the California
newspapers to act that way, but why
should Scottsbluff get the habit?
Nav, if it were potato booze .
Todav'a Best Story.
A certain Alliance citizen took
Junior unnn hia knee and asked:
"Well, my little sone, what would
you like Santa Claus to bring you for
Christmas;
"Oh, I want him to bring me a hum
dinger 1"
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THIELE
OPEN EVENINGS UNTIL CHRISTMAS
"A humdinger, eh? And may I ask
you to describe one?"
"I don't know how they look, but
when you and Mr. Jones came up from
the basement the other evening you
said to him, 'Wasn't that a hum
dinger?' and he said, 'It sure wasl I
would like to have one just like that
for Christmas.' So I thought if it
was something nice for Christmas I
would like to have one too."
Shop early. Head this one from C.
F. W., editor of the Publishers' Auxil
iary. "A newspaper item says that
.here are only two white kangaroos in
the world. If you had thought to
.nake a Christmas present of a white
:ungaroo this year, it would be best
o do your shopping early."
bout the meaning of the mystic let- j
ers, "T. B.," on the young lady's
Jhristmas shopping list, said right off, '
without the least hesitation: "Why,!
she must be going to buy teddybears."
A very interesting legal point has
come up recently, in the suit of George
Michelson vs. Booze Hound Hyers. It
seems that highjackers secured seven
gallons of whisky at George's place.
He bought it before prohibition for his
own use. After the theft, he appealed
to the state agents, who recovered it
from him at a farm near Blair. Whisky,
kept any place outside a dwelling
house, is contraband. They refused to
give it back to him, and now he's
suing. We hereby offer him two thin
dimes for his chance to recover.
Work for the Great Matiffiff.
"You know that fellow?"
"You mean the mind reader?"
"Yes."
"They say he's wonderful."
"So I've heard."
"They tell me you can hide any ob
ject in any out of the way place and
he'll find it"
"Yes, but I understand he was out
on the links yesterday and he lost an
even half dozen golf balls."
upper, although it's lower, on account ! when you ge up. I would advise you
of it being higher, and because when
you occupy an upper you have to get
up to go to bed, and then get down
to take the lower although it's higher
than the upper, for the reason I have
state, that the upper is lower than
the lower because it is higher. You
can have the lower if you pay higher,
but if you are willing to go higher it
will be lower."
PASSING OF THE DEADBEAT
One of the good things we note with
the flight of time is the passing of
the deadbeat. Of course there is an
occasional specimen left but as a
class, he has departed. We can re
member when a considerable percent
age of men who should have been
ashamed of themselves, deliberately
set out to wear out those who had bills
against them until they would no
longer present them, and our old
ledgers are still cluttered with money
running into the thousands that in a
series of years stacked up. Money
that we will never get, and that was
honestly earned. In each case the
debtor would have scorned to break
into our house and stolen the money
like other thieves, but the effect on
our bank account was in no way dif
ferent than as though he had laid
himself liable for grand or petit lar
ceny. We are not certain but the
burglar would be the more courageous
thief, but the deadbeat in general
considered himself considerable of a
gentleman, rather wronged by society
than wronging it, and he would be
very indignant to be -classed with the
hold-up Or the porch climber, but just
as soon as you were worn out and
ceased to worry him with the presen
tation of your account, he dismissed
the matter from his mind, and in some
kind of way, God only knows how, he
managed to consider himself an hon
est man. Whether it is the establish
ment of a more thorough cash sys
tem; whether there is a better recog
nition of business ethics; whether he
has finally learned what was apparent
to other people long before, and made
more money to pay his debts than to
beat them whatever the cause, the
deadbeat is of a past rather than the
present generation, and while crooks
of many kinds have multiplied this
particular kind of crook, that never
admitted or recognized his own
crookedness, is very rapidly becoming
extinct. There were a lot of them but
like the buffalo, soon after you began
to notice they were getting scarce
they were about all gone. Hamilton
County Register.
The Man
Who Borrows
The man who borrows' gets the habit.
And it's a bad habit. The chronic borrower
is shunned by his friends, and soon becomes
his own worst enemy. The best way to keep
from borrowing is to have a savings account
at the bank. Then, if you need money, draw
it and you are under obligations to no one.
Most men and women make a fizzle of saving, because
they put a great deal of thought into earning of
money and none at all into the saving of it.
First State Bank
THE HIGHER THE FEWER
Toronto Set Square: "Let me have
sleeping accommodations on the train
to Ottawa," I said to the man at the
window, who didn't seem at all con
cerned whether I took the trip or
stayed at home.
"For a single passenger?" he finally
said.
"No," I replied. "I'm married but
I'm not taking anybody with me. A
single shelf will answer.
"Upper or lower?" he asked.
"What's the difference?" I Inquired.
"A difference of 50 cents," came the
answer. "Our prices to Ottawa are
11.50 and $2."
"You understand, of course," ex
plained the agent, "the lower is higher
than the upper. The higher price 1b
for the lower berth. If you want It
lower youll have to go higher. We
sell the upper lower than the lower.
It didnt used to be so, but we found
everybody wanted the lower. I other
words the higher the fewer."
"Why do they all prefer the lower?"
I broke in.
"On account of its convenience," he
replied. "Most persons don't like the
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