TWO
TilE ALUaNCK HERALD. TUESDAY, NOVKMISKR 2, 1920.
itRij
.....IMMIIMWmlMI J 1
.. Vfr, this particular day. with the
election returns to furnlph excite
ment for the evening, It won't do any
particular damage to get your mind
off political questions for a few min
utes. Theerfore, we hate decided to
devote this entertaining column to
other topics, although the tempta.
tion to dwell on the foibles of the
candidates is strong within us. To
begin with, here Is some statistical
Information concerning a year In the
life of a Texas editor half a cen
tury ""o. The careful reader wilt
mote the reference to such things as
wui.iky and gin. which shows that
the clipping can lay claim to a cer
tain degree of antiquity. Here goes:
jeen whipped 0
Whipped the other fellow v. ... . i
Didn't come to time 170
Been promised whisky, gin. If
we would go after Iheiu .... f640
Deen after them 5,000(
Been asked what a the news 300,0UUj
Tnld 2b
Didn't know 200,000'
Lied about 82.777
Heen to church 32
Changed politics 32
Kxpect to change Mill 60
Oave charity S.00
Gave for a terrier dog 2.1.00
Cash on hand 1.00
The editor of a Texas paper gives
the following figures of a statistical
memorandum of his every day life,
and still people will think that edi
tors have but few cares to disturb
their slumbers and startin the news
paper business to enjoy life:
Heen ask to drink 11,362
Drank 11.362
Requested to retract 410
Didn't retract 410
Invited to parties and recep.
tions by parties fishing for
puffs . 3,333
Took the hint 33
Didn't take the hint ... 3,300
Threatenel to be whipped 17
It Isn't necessary, however, to go
back fifty years to find humor al
though pome of the specimens of
that time are as good, if not better
than some of the best we have today.
For pure, unadulterated humor
and all the better because It is .so
unconscious we commend the re
plies made by a bevy of male men.
members of a Methodist congregation
In Kansas City K. C, Mo., to be
exact. The pastor of that church has
novel ideas about arousing Interest
In his services, and a short time ago
the pastor sent out questionnaires to
the bachelors in his congregation.
The unmarried men were asked to
give their ideas of what an Ideal
wife. should be.
The chief requisite of an ideal
wife, according to the thirty men
who answered, is that she be a good
cook. Every one of the men placed
this requirement at the head of the
is I
list Some of the replies to the qus
tlWAs were solemn and showed evi
dence of deadly sincerity; others
S'ele flippant. It is worth while. Just
ffow, to go over them, and every
arrled man can see now the wife of
lils bosom compares with the Kan.
a City standard.
r,
FOUR HUNDRED OF THE BEST
MONUMENTS
in the Alliance cemetery were built
by the Paine-Fishburu Uranite
pany.
Let us price one to you.
Write us at Grand Island, Neb., or
see Al Wiker, Alliance, Neb.
I IWMIJJMJUUJI
"X7TIEN you buy eggs
you judge their value by
freshnes3 and the "dozen."
When you buy silk you figure
its worth by feel beauty
and the "yard."
But how do you arrive at
the value of baking powder?
You can't tell by appear
ances by weight Dulk
doesn't mean quality.
There's only one way and
that is an oven test.
Bythattest Calumet always
proves itself the best
ami
CALUMET
BAKING POWDER
'BEST It TEST'
It is the most economical of
all leaveners. Its price is
moderate you save when
you buy it
It has more than the ordin
ary leavening strength you use
less and save when you use it.
It never fails. There is no
lost of baking ingredients.
So, don't guess at Baking Powder
value any longer. Measure it by re
sults. Pound can of Calumet contains full
16 os. Soma baking powders come in
12 os. instead of 16 os. cans. Be sure
you get a pound when you want it.
Calumet
GriddUCak
4 cup flour, 4
level teaspoons
Calumet Baking
Powder, 1 tea
spoon salt, 3
cups milk. Then
mix in regulat
way.
"I have had, too much Rood cook
ing at home to tolerate burned eggs,
heavy biscuits and other culinary
failures," wrote one eligible, . who
evidently is living at home with
mother and dad.
Home life was the second major
requirement of the men folks, ac
cording to the questionnaires. Of the
thirty men who filled out the ques
tionnaires, twenty.seven placed this
as second In importance.
With almost complete unanimity,
the men condemned the' butterfly
type as wives.
"They are attractive, and nice to
play with, but as. a wife nothing
doing," .one prospective husband
wrote in his questionnaire. Ixiud
laughter from the congregation
greeted this quip when read.
A questionnaire from a confirmed
"male flirt," the Itev. Mr. llaunian
being authority for the appellation,
described an ideal home minutely,
and set out that no woman or girl
easy to get acquainted with would
fill his requirements as an Ideal wife.
The "clinging vine" was likewise
condemned. Capable women Beenied
much In demand, if the ten question
naires dealing with the clinging vine
type are to be believed. The type is
not condemned as a type, but simply
does not qualify aH a wife.
The question of children was next
In Importance on the questionnaires.
The men were not so delicate in
touching upon this phrase of mar
ried life as the girls were In their
quest iennaires last week, and were
all unanimous in the opinion tli.it
married life, to be successful, should
Include children.
'A home is not complete without
hlldren," one prospeclive father
wrote In his questionnaire, aptly
summing up the general sentiment of
11 fifteen who dealt with the sub
ject.
Font teen girls answered this qu 's
ion ir. describ! t' their ,!'eal of ti ?r-
rled life last week, and the majority
were neutral on the subject. The
en, without equivocation, stated In
their questionnaires that the woman
who did not wish for children failed
measurably in measuring up to the
Ideal.
RED CROWN GASOLINE
Mileage
Red Crown is a thoroughbred gasoline. Every gallon
is full of last-drop mileage stamina. There's no
falling down, no petering out. You pull up to your
destination like a fresh breeze.
Regular users of Red Crown gasoline know how far
they can go on a gallon every gallon. And they
don't worry about filling up if their supply ought to
carry them to a certain place. It always does, for it is
uniform from one corner of the state to another.
Buy gasoline the same way you buy tires, on a mileage basis.
Best results are always obtained by using the same kind regu
larly. You can do this for Red Crown is sold in every city and
along all of the principal highways.
Economize on oil by using Polarine. It is made in four grades,
differing in body but not in quality. These grades are
Polarine Polarine Heavy f
Polarine Medium Heavy Polarine Extra Heavy
For winter use the Polarine and Polarine Medium Heavy
grades are recommended.
STANDARD OIL COMPANY
(Nebraska)
Omaha
DDoaauu
3
jSJ
RED
CHOWN
GASOllNE
TAHtUkM on. coMNure
hHHnslHHd
E
C
C
E
READ THE HERALD ADS WHEN MERCHANT S HAVE GOOD VALUES THEY TELL YOU HERE
Good dispositions received, unani
mous sanction nagging, scolding
women being regarded as minus
quantities when it comes to measur
ing up to standards, the men stated.
And good looks also are required
of the ideal wife. Not beauty, but
neatness in appearance is one of the
requisites.
Good health was another requisite
Only girls in possession of health can
measure up to the ideal, according
to the questionnaires.
Great surprise was manifest, not
only by the pastor, but by the con
gregation, by the attitude voiced as
to the use of rouge. Of the twenty
men out of the thirty who touched
upon this matter, all stated they did
not object to a little color.
"No real man wants an imitation
wife, but sometimes a little rouge
does help," one man wrote.
dirt Is "Best" Flour and corn
meal. O'llnimoii Jt Neuswmiger. 07
HIGH SCHOOL NOTES.
A meeting was held on Thursday
morning to organize a Latin club
All students who have taken two
years of Latin are eligible to enter
this club. The following officers
were elected: President, Francis
Grassinan; vice president, Edward
Morrow; Secretary-treasurer, Royal;
Spud editor, Robert Bicknell.
The freshman party Friday night
at the high school building was a
pronounced success. The Sidney boys
were guests. Various games were
played until 10:30 then a light lunch
was served.
Miss Alta Young entertained the
high school Monday morning with
few musical selections from McDow
ell's works: To the Sea. Madgenellia
Indian Flute and Love Song, and Get
to Practice. The high school will be
pleased to have Miss Young with us
again.
A rally was called for Friday
morning to test the spirit of the stu
dents. It did not take long to find out
that as far as "pep" was concerned
the boys should win the game. Wade
Grassman former yell leader led us
in a few yells and added another
yell to our list. Mr. Prince also
added another yell, which has al
ready been adopted as one of the
best yells we have..
Another Suply of
Laundry Vueen Electric washing
machines now on display. See tlieni
and you will buy no other.
08 . . Threlkeld Furiture Co..
ALL SUITS, Including
Our WOOLTEX Label
Closing Out at Absolute Cost
Highland-Holloway Co.
4 P
the Standard
Beverage of
people who
demand flavor,
Quality and
Satisfaction.
Known everywhere -Buij it
by the case for your home.
Anheuser-Busch
St.Louis
Iftsilors cordially invited
to inspect oui; plant
n!3
Let us Put a Case in Your Home
We Deliver to Any Part of the City
Wm. King Company
Distrib utors
Phone 136
Alliance, Neb
