THE ALLIANCE HERALD. TUESDAY, OCTODRR 26, 1920.
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Random Shots I
The young gentleman roomer was
-"kidding the landlady's daughter, an
attractive young thing, who hadn't
4een In Alliance very long and had
made but few acquaintances. "It"
won't be long before you're out every .
nijfht," he reassured her, smiling
hopefully and trifle expectantly the
while. The young lady demurred:
'"But how can I get out?" Bhe quer
ied. "You know It won't do to leave
mother alone." Then a happy
thought seized her: "Why, you can :
take care of mother, can't you? It 11
be Jt'Bt oo fweel of you."
And now the gentleman roomer
doesn't care whether the attractive
young miss ever finds a beau.
And we don't blame him for los
ing i iteroM.
One interesting Item In the day's
news Is that the man who won the
15,000 prize for writing the best re
' publican slogan has announced that
lie Intends now, and has intended all
the tliiic. to vote for Cox.
What would you think, if you were
a stalwart male, with huge biceps
and an Imposing appearance in
pajamas, if you waked up in the
morning to learn tfiat the landlady
and her daughter had been un Jul?
the night hunting for burcla pr'l
hadn't even thought of calling upon
you for protection?
There are two men In Alliance
who acknowledge that the facts,
humiliating as they are, are not to
be denied.
It may be true that both demo
cratic and republican legislatures
have voted for a new state capitol,
but that doesn't make John More
head wrong in declaring that it's a
chump trick to build it while prices
of labor, building materia' p"4
every other Item connected with the
structure are skyrocketing. .
Today's IJest Story.
Pettish Father: "I don't see any
renson why you should wear those
one-piece bathing suits. Thirty yeurs
ago women never did."
Petted Daughter: "But, dad, you
must remet.ibcr your eyosieht in't
as good as it was thirty years ago."
Thanksgiving seems a long way off
to the two principals in the latesi
Itapid Kire Romance.
Wish we knt'w how to carry them
; Ir fet. We call three weeks
. vt.y voo.l time.
St-vrn young men are sore. They
have been swatted and they don't
know why. Last Sunday morning
their landlady (all of them live In
the same house) went to each one's
room and batted on the door. Con
versation like this ensued: "Are you
awake?" Answer "I am." "When's
your room rent up?" Answers varlil
from one day to a week, according to
the roomer. "Well, you've got to get
out. I need your room today!" These
young men aver that they are reason
ably good roomers. They don't spit
tobacco Juice on the floor or leave
cigarette stubs lying on the counter
pane. They don't play poker or have
feminine guests. Yet all of them get
the gate. No explanations were given.
What would you do?
Some of the golf fiends are taking
a correspondence course.
Ole says the game can't be learned
out of' a magazine.
This is one from the Keep-U-Nf at.
A young lady approached the pro
prietor, and asked: "Do you do cor
dial pleating here?"
Another one from Bradbury's
place: The other evening a younp
man (married) came in and prentlv
admired the artificial palms that are
scattered all over the Keep-U-Neat's
office In buckets. He said he couldn't
understand how they grew so well is
this rough and rude climate. Chet
explained that It was due to the care
he gave them. "I water them twice
a day," he told the seeker after
knowledge. The young man finally
asked for a "slip" from one, so that
he could have an ornament in his
home. He chose the bigest one of
the lot said It was evidently a
hardier plant. Chet denied this, in
sisting that the others would havo
grown that tall, only he had made
the mistake of planting them in
buckets that were too small, and
didn't give the roots room to spread.
Picture, If you can, L. C. T. on all
fours at.the picture show, looking for
his hat. He gave it up, after half an
hour, but someone found It the next
morning, right where he had put it.
Fore!
The fat man decided to try golf as
a weight-reducer. Armed with four
sticks, a ball and a caddie, he march
ed off to the links.
The caddie placed the ball upon I
the tee. Then, with a terrific swing,
the fat man whirled his club through
the air.
But the little white ball still stay
ed smiling on its tee, while the club,
meeting Mother Earth, broke Into
splinters.
"Oive me another club, boy!" said
the fat man.
Alas! club No. 2 shared the fate of
club No. 1, club No. S emulated of
evolutions of club No. 2, and club No.
4 flew Into a hedge.
And still this little white ball
smiled on.
"What would you do now?" asked
the golfer wiping his forehead, as he
turned in desperation to the caddie.
Holding out the empty bag, the
urchin replied: "Don't give up,
mister! Give It a swipe with this!,"
t
We refuse to get alt "het up"
though for a moment vethoi nt we
recognized a once familiar style.
Terhaps the best Indication or Thej
Herald's prosperity, aside fnun
larger quarters, new equipment and
our increasing patronage. n , n in
the strenuous efforts of the opposi
tion. To date we've n-M found It
necessary to distribute free pretty
pictures, chromos or comics, to a
part of our subscribers, where It will
make the biggest showing.
We've got the readers we're
holding those we have and we're
not worried about circulation, either
our own or anybody else's.
i This Is good golf weather. We're
sawing wood and playing golf.
We're only hoping the time - I
come when we can play golf as good
as we can saw wood.
Vassar conferred degrees on 2T6
young women. Many of them, no
doubt, will also achieve the degree
of MA.
HAILIUMD KOTKH
Fireman Draper deadheaded to
Marsland yesterday to take his turn
on the helper.
Fireman Fadenbecker has resign
ed his position.
Fireman Tornakar went to Craw
ford Monday to relieve Fireman
Baschky.
Fireman Sherlock Is laying off for
a few days.
Electrician Claude Itazelton laid
off Saturday afternoon to attend (o
some business.
.Machinist Helper Charley Thomp
son laid off Saturday afternoon.
A derailment at Thedford caused
No. 41 to be delayed about eight
hours Monday morning. Engineer
Rodgers took the wrecker down.
Engine 286S had lo be pulled Into
Ravenna on account of losing th
elephant arm Just outside of Ansel
mo. I. L. Dudle has been on the sick
list for a few days.
Dick Rednal has returned after ft
weeks' busnless trip in Casper.
Mrs. L. A. Hall Is laying off on ac
count of her husband's Illness.
Claude Rennau Is relieving t. A.
Hall. 1
Hostler Jimmle Ellis Is laying oft
for about twenty days.
Train No. 43 was delayed thr
hours Friday on account of a derail
ment at York, Neb., being obliged to
go by way of Lincoln, Hastings and
Aurora.
Have Your
Diamond Reset
In Platinum
Platinum mountings for dia
monds have two marked ad
vantages. They bring out
most effectively the bril
liance of the gem, and the
greater strength of (he metal
gives more protection. Your
diamond set in platinum is
more beautiful and safer.
Thiele's pays special at
tention to the mounting of
diamonds. We have in stock
many designs in solid plati
num, and platinum lop,
rings.
Your diamond can he tak
en from its present mount
ing and reset in one of Ihese
while you wait. We will be
glad to have you consult us
about this.
Atches-Diu&j
". r s .-
Uiunsx'ickJfionoJ'f3phs
Watch InspectorGu&Q.
THE UNIVERSAL CAR
To the business man, retail or wholesale; to the manufacturer; to the commis
sion man; to the trucking company, the Ford Model T One Ton Truck makes
an irresistible appeal because it has in its chassis all the merits of the original
Ford car; the wonderful Ford Model T Motor, the dependable Vanadium steel
chassis, and the manganese bronze worm-drive. A strongly built truck that
serves satisfactorily and lasts in service If these statements were not true,
the demand for Ford Trucks wouldn't be so constantly on the increase. We
will be pleased to take your order for one or more Ford Trucks, will see that you
get reasonably prompt delivery, and will give you an after service that Insures
the constant service of the Truck. But don't wait too long. Qet your order
in promptly.
Coursey & Miller
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No "Pussyfooting" Here
We're Back to
PR
UT
WAR VALUE
OWING to the recent reductions in the wool and woolen markets we are
convinced that we can replace our present stocks for much less than we
paid for them and there isn't a clothing store in Alliance that cannot do the
same thing. Other clothiers may continue their "Pussyfooting" methods
relative to the lowering of clothing prices as long as they like. We're red
blooded enough to take the initiative in this great sacrifice entailing readjustment movement be
cause we feel it to be our patriotic duty as well as good business judgment to do so.
20 Off The Regular Marked Price of Any Suit in
the House. Absolutely Nothing Reserved
Styleplus, Brandegee-Kincaid and Stein-Bloch
$45 Suits now S3S .& 55 Suits now M
$50 Suits now 40 iv.jv.iHu Vf $60 Suits now
BIG STORE
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