TWO
T11K ALLTANCK IIKKALI), FIJI DAY, AUGUST 1.1, 1920
Most Modern Shining' Parlor in Alliance for Ladies and Gentlemen
Ladies Shoes Dyed In connection with 164 Cleaners. 217 Box Butte
Random Shots
How la the beat way to describe
the gift to Uo ramping Campnre
drls at Belmont?
Phnub1 ' s-!y ". r-pts to the
weft" or "pearlies for peaches"
their hads. Thry sniffed the air!
i bt lllpc rently, and then began to pans j
i out. uncomplimentary remarks.
I "Some people certainly do have no j
I consideration for other," aid one of
! inn. "I never did like thone tiiree-
for-a-nickel clKars," said the other.
The victim stood It for a minute or
two, and then remarked to bis right
hnnd neighbor: 'Why do they come
up here if they don't like Bnioke
there are plenty of Kood seats at less
money downstairs."
One t i., . u
those express oflii e Uomeos will say
It with flowers.
And for the rest of the perform-
!. n, xt tlme fi.ie.' Ilio estimable ladles confined
their remarks to reading the sub
titles aloud.
An Alliance man wno has bad
oodles of experience, says that a man
always errs when he tells 'lis love
on paper. "They can't hold you for
phone conversations," he says, "but
a letter Is tho best evidence In the
world."
ricturo the pa dpllght of the Girl
Reporter, who spent two days gath
ering news notes and then lost them
before she bad written up a single
Item.
' No use to worry about It: Worry
Is what made this colyum conductor
as skinny as Cy Lnlng.
Today's IWt Story
They tell this story on Charley
Brltton and Billy King. These two
oil magnates were waiting for a train
before leaving Newcastle, after a lit
tle visit out at their oil gold mine.
They had about half an hour, and
wandered Into a beanery for a quick
lunch.
The waitress was fresh and the
grub stale.
"Say, sister," Billy complained,
"our beans seem to be cold."
"Well," she suggested, "why not
put on your 'aats?"
The Alliance man who advertised
for matrimonial prospects in the
Denvre papers was missing a bet. We
haTe had at least three phone calls
wanting to know the name of the
bashful brother.
And we gave It to each woman who
Called, Just as we said we would.
The last one she had a mighty
nice voice promised that sae would
let us know If nny Romance develop
ed. ... ,
J " " .'.-'
She did have a pretty voice.
They were sitting side by side In
the gallery at the Imperial. The
night was warm and tae play was
one of those pulsatlngly romatlc af
fairs such as the press agents love
to write about. A fat green bug flew
In and walked around the back or the
man's collar. He brushed it off
hastily, but being preoccupied with
the show or the girl didn't notice
that he had thrown It on her face.
Jt wandered up along one ear, and
Just as she raised ler hand to shoo
It away, a hairpin dropped from her
hair and fell down her back. With
one wild yell, she threw her arms
around the man In front of her.
Centle reader, can you blame her?
We never had any such luck. The
only girl who ever fainted In our
vicinity proceeded to follow It up
with a sataleptlc fit.
Two middle-aged dames sat in the
gallery at the Imperial the other
evening. The whirling fan caught
the smoke from the cigar of the man
In front of them and carried it over
If someone will tell us wjere
three-for-a-nickel cigars can be pro
cured, we'll tell the world.
The worst thing that can happen
to a Homeo is to run out of ready
cash when his Beloved la along.
Three Alliance young men took an
equal number of young ladies out to
Broncho lake the other morning for
a swim. They wanted to go In style,
so they hired an auto livery. The
liveryman, however, charged them
more for the trip than they had ex
pected, and the awful truth dawned
they didn't have money enough to
pay for the return ride. They ap
pealed to the taxi man, and he help
ed them out. He faked an excuse to
go to town, and they assured the
girls t iat he would be back before
they got through swimming. He
never came back, and six young
people walked to town.
But the mean taxi driver told one
of the girls the next day.
The way of V e four-flusher Is
hard.
Personally, we think they were
chumps to tell the taxi driver how
much money they had. We never
pay 'em In advance. Taey can't do
any more than send you to Jail.
Due to the chill air and a natural
distaste for little red ants In the
sandwiches, we took our basket sup
per at the hut-tel.
And, do you know, we saw sev
eral, familiar faces In the dining
room.
We aren't mentioning any names,
but
Great minds run in similar chan
nels. We can prove this by Rufua Jones.
Alliance people will be Interested
In knowing taat Bill Harper has an
Indian name. He was christened
Kha-dub-ho-la-gar, at the Chicago
Elks convention, when he was one of
the ornaments accompanying the Ne
braska float. This fancy name may
be freely translated as "Chief Travel-
ng-ln-tbe-Brush."
The conductor of this colyum was
lno an Indian in that parade, and
they hung tae name of "Hoo-shuch-
gar" onto him. The translation for
this is quite unromantic, being "Red
Legs."
Bill made a good Indian, but the
expression on his face when they took
the picture shows that his sioes were
too light. Little children along the
line of march mistook this pained
expression for one of extreme fierce
ness.
$2.RO a year and worth more.
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exclusively In Perfection Tire
ponstructioB.
ft J a patented "Perfection" feature
The break ex -atrip tuc4 in ordinary tire
conemictkm I Uoae-wovea r of
eefee that form the union bcrweeaj
the tread end ouuide ply of cortoa
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eubtact to moisture, acid and greaae
and hear the brunt of hard utage and)
ail tire trouble.
Ptrfttti AUt$H$ Brukrr-Strtt tt not
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forme a perfect union with the rubber
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nmra ailment la automobile tiraa
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PERFECTION TIRE DISTRIBUTING CO.
413 Pearl St. - Sioux City, la.
PERFECTION TIRE & RUBBER CO.
soar Madison, saw
Silk ami Cotton Hosiery at 20
(II vomit at lliglilftnl-IloIlowa.v Co.
Save SO on jour winter funt
Mil month at HlKlilantl-llollowHy Co.
Moonstones
Am trust 'n hirthstone, the
Moonstone, is a gem of dis
tinotivo beauty that makes
up fascinatingly in rings ami
pins.
It exerts, so legend says, a
protective influence, guard
ing the wearer from harm
ami danger.
Ilirthstones are splendid
gifts, and a moonstone from
Thicle's will he a present
your August friend will hold
in high favor.
Men's Rings $5.00 to $10.00
Ladies' Rings $3.00 to $5.00
Brooches $3.00 to $10.03
Scarf Pins $2.00 to $5.00
prunsaicknonogtSphs
Watch InspectortMQ.
THE UNIVERSAL CAR
The Ford Touring Car is literally the pioneer in the solution of the Good
Roads problem, because three million or more in operation brought up to the
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and flexibility, the low cost of operation and maintenance, its ease in operation,
all have made the Ford car the great favorite in every land in the world. It?s
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can afford. We sell them and will be pleased to have your order. Don't delay,
because the demand is heavy all the time. We have almost everything in motor
car accessories, carry thg genuias Ford Parts, uxd assure the best in mechanical
repair work.
COURSEY & MILLER
OS,
0 c
a-- - i i
Millions of People Need
Chiropractic Adjustments
By L. F. SIMMER, D. C.
Chicago, 111.
FOR ages the human race has been trying to
regain its health. It has tried everything
imaginable from the beating of a torn torn
by the Indian medicine man, from the unthinkable
decoctions of witches, down to the more refined and
deadly drugging system of the present day. We
have allowed ourselves to be stuffed with drugs
and mutilated with knives, shot full of serums and
different inoculations: ..And what is the result of
it all?
You have only to look to see the thousands of
chronic invalids about you, and the question is so
completely answered, there isn't room for any
argument left. So I say again that millions of peo
ple throughout the country need Chiropractic ad
justment and would have it if they but knew the
great benefits that can be derived from its applica
tion. Not until a person has been ill for weeks or
perhaps months does he think of trying Chiroprac
tic. It is usually a court of last resort. Seldom do
they try Chiropractic first.
So our science is tried out by the public and
given the acid test in a most rigid manner usually
after all other methods have failed.
The results obtained in these chronic conditions
are so gratifying that it exceeds by far the fondest
dreams and expectations of the patient.
And so Chiropractic goes on, slowly but surely,
making fast and lasting friends by bringing about
cures in conditions where other methods had dis
mally failed.
The knowledge of Chiropractic by the general
public is slow indeed. Especially in cities of a
million or more population. In these places of
abode people do not neighbor. They do not discuss
topics of the day with the people next door or up
stairs for the simple reason they are not acquainted
or perhaps have never even seen them. But the
knowledge of Chiropractic will eventually be
brought to light on a larger scale. The results ob
tained by adjustments on diseases, such as epilepsy,
blindness, deafness, asthma, hay fever, stomach,
liver, lung, heart and many other conditions too
numerous to mention, many of which are considered
incurable, will eventually arouse the curiosity of
the people and bring about an investigation of the
wonderful science of Chiropractic.
Not long ago I heard a man say: "I do not need
any chiropractic because there is nothing wrong
with my spine. It's my stomach that's on the bum. ' '
Little did he know the relationship of that poor
sick stomach and the nerve power that came from
the spine to give that sick stomach energy to work
with, until I explained it to him. He took adjust
ments and is well today, and also a big booster for
the science of Chiropractic.
Chiropractic spinal adjustment is new to the
majority of people and many unfavorable tales are
told about it by people who don't know the first
thing about what an adjustment consists of. These
people little realize they are condemning the great
est health science in existence.
Herbert Spencer said: "There is a principle
which is a bar against all information, which is
proof against all argument, and which cannot fail
to keep a man in everlasting ignorance. That
principle is condemnation before investigation."
So in conclusion I will say to those who read
this article and have condemned chiropractic in the
past, to investigate iU merits first and condemn it
afterwards if they can. Because millions of peo
ple need chiropractic.
Dr. Annie G. Jeffrey
Chiropractor
GRADUATE OF THE PALME.t SCHOOL
WILSON BLOCK
ALLIANCE, NEBRASKA
v
u ritrtctiow Timet ass AtsTo strip nonet 1 1
TERRITORY OPEN FOR DEALERS
