TIIE ALLIANCE HERALD, FRIDAY, JUNE 18, 1920.
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Random Shots
With no iloslre to pir our erudi
tion, we ttfl Impelled to loint out
that the word "suspicion" U not a
verb, alrS ouch nine out of ten le
potrers setvi to bo coppIcuv It. Ora
maticaily speaking:, you t-un't
"suspicion" anything. i'oa mny
"suspect," or you may 'havo your
suspicions."
' W"i iiiaK? no charge for (Jus infor
mation. Youth has Its troubles. Hoim.o
haB been moping around for ihr-r?
whole days, simply bemus he saw
Her reading a letter. She wouldn't
tell him the name of th vrii.rr
and he, too, "suspicions" (apologies
to the grammarians) something.
Today's Best Story
The preacher making his Sunday
morning announcements said, ' Next
Sunday morning at 10:30 sharp
I will baptize Mrs. Swift's little
baby." Looking over the congrega
tion he noted Mrs. Swift In her pew
and smilingly bowed to her, saying
he hadn't noticed that she had com
In, and then In a tone of serlour.n-iss
be said, "Remember the hour, 10.30
sharp you know you were iate
last year."
' The man who is moaning because
there have been no "drives" for the
past two weeks must have referred
to excursions after the stuff that
cheers. For have we not the Ne
braska memorial to soldiers on our
hands 7 '
Romeo has been stung again. He
went down to one of the Alliance
gents' furnishing stores and they
worked off on him one of those
heavy woolen ties that are utterly
unfitted for wearing during the hot
Summer months.
The poor fish didn't know he was
getting a winter tie.
Hanged if we can see what ad
vantage there is in the Lady Boarder
leaving off a waist to keep cool, and
then wearing a bulky coat to cover
up.
It's crazier than the summer fur
stunt.
We know now why they call It
"Happy" Hollow.
Again our advice Is accepted. We
told 'em to be careful to whom they
gave it meaning that month's free
subscription and so they cut off the
Herald printer.
There's no excuse for boneheada
like that.
Only love could make a man or
woman scratch' off a twelve-page
letter dally.
We see by an exchange that some
girl, at a commencement exercise,
sang "I'm Forever Blowing Bub
bles" "In a most touching manner."
How do they get that way?
The only Bong that can be sung
In a way to cause the throat to choke
with sobs is: "Little Brown Jug."
Iff paper keeps getting scarcer,
liberty bonds, because of the mater
ial they are engraved on, should go
to par. American Printer.
And Cuba is thousands of miles
away.
1920.
"Sing a song of breweries, '
Malt and hops and yeast.
Pour and twenty bottles
Ready for the feast;
When the case was emptied
No one felt a kick
Nothing there but near-beer;
Don't that make you sick?
The Funny Want-Ad
WANTED A Job whero I can get
board and room. Can milk and
drive Ford car. Joe Montgomery,
X-1145, Dallas (Texas) News.
FOR SALFj Cow and folding bed
combined. W. F. O'Roar, Olen Rock
Station, Ashville N. C.) Citizen.
We should fret if they give it
away. But If they try to claim that
all these free monthly subscriptions
are bona-flde, or cash-ln-advance,
simply because they are marked paid
on the books, we'll have to print an
other one of those odious compari
sons. They're great n this "claim" stuff.
Would they give it away If they
could sell it T
Let's see wasn't there someone
who once remarked about how little
value there is in "free" circulation?
The bodies of all American col
dlers burled In Germany will be
brought to tho United States for re-
burial whether bo requested by rela
tives or not.
The ouja board whispers that one
of our early fashion notes willead:
"Hallotinj? coats in trlcotlne and
Koorpctto crepe will bo popular this
fall."
The small Investor who Is worried
r.bout the price o fhis- Liberty bonds
may sootho himself with the reflec
tion that he can't lose money on
them unless ho sells them.
The flu never Attacks airmen, be
cause of the purity of the air at hlRh
altitudes. Hut the averapo citizen
would rather chanco the flu than
havo to bo up in the air all the time.
Citizens of this country have
learned not to take the Instructions
of president lal conventions delegates
too seriously. Instructed delegate
have been known to forget every
thing they knew.
Demand of every common thine
that it shall bloom into the results
in your own soul and in your infglu
enco on the world.
name of the
sagely said:
scatters your
And what's the
brainy gink who
"Sample circulation
shot"?
...
It must hurt to know you have
the smallest circulation and to fear
that others are finding it out.
The Herald had no circulation
records to beat but its own.
Boy, we've got 'em.
There are but few sensible people
In the world yet they all agree with
you.
If a married man is looking for an
easy Job he has no time for any
thing else.
You never " can tell. A suit of
clothes may look rusty and still wear
like iron.
R ATS' DIE
so do mice, once they eat RAT-SNAP
and they leave no odor behind. Do
not take our word for it try a pack
age. Cats and dogs won't touch it.
Rats pass up all food to get RAT
SNAP. Three sizes.
25c size (1 cake) enough for Pan
try, Ktlchen or Cellar.
50c size (2 cakes) (or Chicken
House, coops, or small buildings.
$1.00 size (5 cakes) enough for all
farm and out-buildings, storage
buildings, or factory buildings.
Sold and guaranteed by F. E.Hol
sten. 56-61
AMERICAN LEGION NOTES
Regarding the Legion's proposed
beneficial leglslirlDi, nil those un
informed on me BubJ -ct shculrl con
sider that the Len'oa aalis first of
all for practical assistance in oa'ab-
lishing the x-Boldwr on the turin;
second, in nelpiig li.m etablish him
self in a home; third, 'n assisting
him in learning a vicatlon; and,
fourth, the sfall tsh ; "iiuinoraMoii
to those who do not avail themselves
of either of :ho nther provisions. It
will be to th interest of the large
majrity of x -service men to lako ad
vantage of unn of the Tirst thne iio
vislons rather than ih- mer-a cash te
muneration, p.nd thosn expressing
themselves are ;Uruo.tt unanimous in
favor of a4d'3ti;iC3 in obtaining a
home, farm or vocal loual training.
It la estimated that about 120,000
crippled veterans are entitled to
training under the law known as the
Vocational Rehabilitation act. Of
this numbtr the federal board, which
has functioned for nearly two years
has placed In train'ng a little more
than 26,000.
TH I ASBESTOS BREAKER STRIP PREVENTS TR BAD StPARATlOM
AG13ESTOG TPTTTn
Ml
the Asbestos 'Breaker Strip
ASBESTOS-AMirieral
Woven Into a No-Burn Fabric
The Breaker Strip that
Make$ the Difference
Is the Asbestos Breaker-Strip used
exclusively ia Perfection Tire
Ponstructioa.
Ui pVtnt4 "Perfection" feature
Thavbraaker-ttrlp used la ordinary tire
consrructkm U a looM-wevca rof
tl that forma ih union wnwn
th tread and outside ply of cocao
fabric of all standard tint it ia so
pro i ret the carcass of the tire a fa i rut
shocks, to prevent tread separation and
incase of a cut is the ply of fabric first
subject to moisture, acids and grease
and bears the brunvof hard usage and
jil tire trouble.
Ptrftctitn Aiitstu Brktr-Slrit is not
ffected by moisture, acids, grease oe
heat generated by road friction. U
former a perfect union with the rubber
In the vulcanisation of the tire, so aa
to be almost inseparable, thereby over
coming to the greatest enentihe anoet
common ailment ia automobile tires
BlUtcu and Tread Separation.
PERFECTION TIRE DISTRIBUTING CO.
413 Pearl St. m Slew City, la.
PERFECTION TIKE at RUBBER CO.
soar aiAONOM. mwa
ALL PERU CTIOW
TIRES ARB All IITOI STRIP PROTSCTSg
mpr-. ... .
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I iYwi in inn 1 '"'
Championship
Wrestling Match
$1,000 WORLD WELTERWEIGHT BELT
Alliance, Neb. June 25
AT ROOF GARDEN, 7:30 P. M.
j Under the Auspices of B. P. 0. E. 1
JACK REYNOLDS
Cedar Rapids, Iowa
VS.
PETEBUZUKOS
! of San Francisco ' """
Each Man Has One Victory It's a Fast Go, Sure
2 Good Preliminaries
J r RAY TRABERT vs. "DUTCH" MAUNIER 'V.
ED GREEN vs. STEVE CANNON
Ringside $5.00 Reserved $3.50 ' General $2.00
Seats at Holsten's an King's Corner
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for Highest Tossible Quality at fywest TossibU Trice j
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MjL'
Med.
are
H ere is the topmost cigarette the
highest point of smoking enjoyment
and satisfaction the spur cigarette.
Studied "from the ground up" in
seed, soil, plant and culture. Studied in
blending, studied in making, studied
in packing. Spurs are blended in a
new way from American and Oriental
tobaccos, bringing out to the full that
U good old-time tobacco taste. The
; satiny imported paper is crimped, not
y pasted, making an easier -drawing,
. . . -
slower-burning cigarette. You 11
approve of the smart brown and silver
packef, threefold, that preserves Spur's
taste and fragrance.
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Liggett & Myers Tobacco Co,