FOUR
THE ALLIANCE HERALD. FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 1920.
Random Shots
f The latest union to be organised Is
the potato peelera. We hope
branch will be established In the
T7.
The women of Ireland have organ
ised to combat what they call the
gladneck." Uladneck Is not, as an
Amateur would suppose, some kind
Ct a disease. Oh, tio; it's the failure
to cover the neck properly.
They may get by with that stuff
In Ireland, but Irish girls In this
country dress to suit "Themselves
pot their grandmothers.
jVr ', t-m
five hundred is said to be the fa
vorite card game of one Alliance
young lady. She says she docs like
to hold hands.
Wonder what kinds of hands she
refers toT
A minister visiting at Crawford
ftad his clothes stolen.
They weren't taken off him; some
colored brother lifted his suitcase.
, We recall one time, during a con
vention, . when someone Btole . the
noes of several delegates. But they
Weren't handicapped like a preacher
Is they could swear.
t That story of the discovery of gold
Is getting rich and richer all the
time. Latest reports are that it will
Assay something like $30 a ton.
We've never owned stock In a gold
nine, but this certainly does sound
enticing.
; Ont In Sacramento, Cal., the cit
isens are driving the census enum
erators wild by clamoring to be
counted. The Californlan knows the
valne of advertising.
; Consider this a reminder If you
Baven't been Interviewed. Don't wait
for a written invitation.
i One roan was observed to be nerv
mn at the last meeting of the city
council. He coughed every time
ouieone blew smoke in his direction.
.Let's see women get the vote this
year, don't they?
dares to gamble on such topics
hat the collections and attendance
exceed those of any other church In
the village.
The boat thing that has happened
this wek Is the marriage and sub
sequent disappearance from the
front page of Emily Knowka and
the Spikers.
What gets us Is why the newspa
pers insisted on calling Emily prrt
ty, when her pictures say only too
plainly that somebody lied.
Today's best story:
A young fellow who was off on a
jaunt out west, fell Into hard luck
and had to pawn one of his suits.
Just before starting home he man
aged to get It out again. When he
reached home his mother, while un
packing his trunk, came across the
Cpat with the pawnbroker's tag on
It.
"John," she inquired, "what Is
this tag on your coat?"
John, not wishing to have his
mother know of his temporary em
barrassment, said:
"Oh, I was at a dance and checked
my coat."
Soon she came across the trousers
with the same kind of a tag on them.
"John," she demanded, "what
kind of a dance was that?"
It's a dull week. We haven't heard
any new scandal, and we're feeling
too lazy to Invent any.
If we wanted to exercise our Im
agination, we could fill this collyum
chuck full of spice.
All we have to do is to say that a
married man with a fancy vest was
seen dusting off his coattalls in front
of a handsome residence on Blister
street.
Then our readers could fill In the
details to suit any married man of
their acquaintance whom they had a
grudge against.
seven six-pound packages of sugar
on his kitchen table. i
Oddly enough, there were seven
grocers In town.
No need to say this wasn't Alli
ance. After a storm like yesterday's
there isn't anything that hasn't some
sand in It. I
Our barber says that yesterday's
storm was a "Mexican blizzard."
What do you suppose he meant?
Sheriff Miller says that his match
box may be dipped Into fer accommo-1
datlon, but hereafter any man who'
takes half the box is going to be
thrown Into Jail.
As we remember it, the Initials of
the last man who offended In this
way were B. B,
To save misunderstanding, we'll j
have to explain that he was referring
to Bill Becker.
If the sheriff cuts him off Bill's
welcome to use our match box. Of
course,' it's empty right now, but
some of these days we expect to get
In a new shipment. I
We've discovered a place where
we can buy matches for 6 cents a
box on Saturdays only, and we're
going to try to struggle along until
that days rolls around.
If it were nearer election day, the
sheriff wouldn't care. i
Or we could write about a myth
ical auto ride, with the side curtains
up. The Bide curtains might be up
simply to keep out the cold air, but
if the paragraph were written in the
right vein, no one would question
for a minute but that another tri
angular love affair was on.
; The Methodist church at Sidney
runs motion pictures each Sunday
evening. We'll gamble if one
You remember the story of the
man who advertised that a certain
grocer name not mentioned had
sold him sanded sugar. He went on
to say that if the grocer didn't make
good within twenty-four hours, he'd
be exposed.
A local merchant a few days ago
had stopped to say a word or two to
a stray dog on the stdeet, who was f
wagging his tail In a clumsy effort to
be friendly. A lady of his acquain
tance aproached and asked the mer
chant If he liked dogs, and naturally
he replied In the affirmative and
countered with the same question.
The lady answered: "Oh, yes, Indeed,
I like dogs and cats a great deal but
I haven't much use for people." The
man's surprise was evidently written
all over his face, because the woman
vindicated herself by asking: "Were
you ever a census enumerator." i
Anything will look good after
McKelvie.
FOIl SALE HOUSE
FI vtPuCWMininTT)
tively close In. Want to deal di
rect for cash; no agents. Price $4200.
Inquire No. 505, Alliance Herald, tf
Before noon the next day he had
It Is Economy
to Build Now
You
Will
Get
Your
Money's
Worth
In the opinion of financial auth
orities there is no drop expect
ed in the price of building ma
terials for many months. This
spring .will see really great
building operations jin Alliance,
and Box Butte county. We
undoubtedly need the buildings
and every month we delay our
development is held back just
that much.
The additional use you will receive from buildings con
structed this Spring will more than pay you for the
difference between present costs of materials and those
of a year or so ago.
If you are considering the erection of a building of any
sort we will be glad to offer our advico regarding the
suitability, stability and comparative costs of different
materials. , k hi
We have bought rough and finishing lumber, as well as
other requisites for building, in anticipation of the rush
of Spring building. We will be equipped to handle all
your needs, and only await the opportunity to help you.
WH BEVINGTON, Mgr.
Phone 20
Room 8, Reddish Block
Second and Box Butte
Alliance City Property
Box Butte County Farms
Western Nebraska Ranches
Raw Lands
THE THOMAS COMPANY
LLOYD C. THOMAS' HAROLD S. THOMAS
- "For Quick Results See Thomas "
Gets the World Record
FOK KENT KOOM
FOH RENT Furnished Bleeping,
room, 323 Sweetwater. Telephone
231. tf
Rumely OilPull 12-20 Tractor De
feats till Competition at
(Columbus, Ohio
The following telegram was seijt to the OilPull Factory at LaPorte, Ind., by Consulting Engineer
John A. Secor at a Tractor demonstration held recently in Columbus, Ohio, open to all the world
"Twelve-twenty OilPull has broken all records for kerosene or gasoline trac
tors to date. Kerosene used per horsepower hour was point five eight of a
pound, costing one and four-tenths cents. ."
This victory comes as additional laurels. Since 1912 the World's Record has been held by the
30-60 liumley OilPull. This year the smaller brother takes the record. ACTUALLY. THEN,
THE OILPULL WINS FROM ' ITSELF.
Proves Oil Pull Superiority Conclusively
The nearest competitor burning gasoline was only 50 per cent as efficient as the Rumley OilPull,
while the nearest kerosene-burning competitor was 20 per cent less efficient. The results from
these actual tests and no tractor was barred from entry proves beyond a doubt that RUMLEY
OILPULL SUPERIORITY is REAL.
Put Your Order in Now
More and more you have seen the horse replaced by his steel brother and you' have seen only
the commencement. In a few years those farmers who have the biggest start will generally be
those who were farsighted enough to do their work the logical, scientific way BY TRACTOR.
You have but to 6tudy the data concemingthis demonstration, together .with statistics from long
time users of The Rumley OilPull and you will be convinced that there is ONLY ONE TRACTOR
TO BUY.
"MAKE YOURS A RUMLEY OILPULL"
F. A. CLARK
Alliance, Nebraska
V a
ill
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