Comment-and
Discomment
Terhars the most amusing thing
that has happened in Alliance In ten
years is the headline that Boiler
riate Ben chose to place over a care
fully fabricated article that appeared
In a recent issue of, the Times:
"Facts not fancies." ' For a man
who within the past ten days has
audited his books and discovered
some seven or eight hundred eub
crlbers that do not exist to talk
about "facts" in such a solemn way
is in reality the epitome of humor.
Exaggeration is the chief basis of
humor, and Dennie of the Bound
less Enthusiasm has shown himself
prone to exaggerate.
As a matter of fact, few Times
readers will be deceived by the care
fully framed statements that his
newspaper has been spreading. No
man who takes both newspapers will
be in doubt for an instant. And Al
liance advertisers, some of whom
may have believed the semi-weekly
Sallow, need only to be shown the'
-difference between his sworn circula
tion figures and those he prepared .
for their especial benefit to be con
vinced that practically everything he'
says needs to be taken with a good
deal of salt.
There are some charges that are so
absurd that even a newspaper doesn't
need to answer them. The compar
ison of The Herald and Times pre
pared by the latter falls in that class.
Ieffl consider the first item. Just to
get a good laugh. One can't have
too many laughs in these trying days,
and practically every line of that
comparison is good for a regular
guffaw. In the heading, for in
stance, the comparison Is for the
"Week of December, 1919" and the
particular week Isn't mentioned. The
first item is "headed reading arti
cles," which, of course, is not a fair
basis of comparison, for this news
paper runs as much as two pages of
short reading articles. We don't place
a bead on an article unless it is
worth it. Heads take up spare that
might be occupied by real Dews.
These are the figures for the
"week of December," whatever that
I is: Headed reading articles, Her
ald 57, Times 97. Included In The
Times' capitulation is the boiler
plate that fills, on an average, over
half of the pages of that newspaper.
This is not guesswork any man who
can read knows what is legitimate
news and what is plain filler. This
boiler plate stuff can be purchased
for less than 20 cents a column. It
costs three times that amount to set
a column of type matter.
Now there are several kinds of
boiler plate. Our comprehensive re
port of the constitutional convention,
which is appearing this week and
will continue to appear, Is a special
service, for which we pay a special
price. It is interesting reading,
timely and of interest to nearly
everyone. But we do not insult the
intelligence of our readers or ad
vertisers by printing articles telling
about the price trappers in Kane,
Ta., get for mink; discussions of a
new dread disease that Is afflicting
the cats in London; tales of eternal
youth in microbes, and other bunk
that succeeds only In filling space.
In addition to column after col
umn of this deadly stuff, we find nu
merous other columns clipped from
the dailies. Some of it is reason
ably interesting; some of it merely
fills space. All of it is old. There is
only one way -for a newspaper to
publish up-to-the-minute news from
the state and country, and that is by
means of a leased wire or a regular
press Bervice. No Alliance newspa
per has this, and any news you see
in either along this line is frankly
"stolen" from the city papers that
do. The Herald offends now and
then in this regard, but only when
legitimate news is scarce. Our ajm
is to be an Alliance newspaper, and
anyone who is sufficiently interested
to take a yardstick and measure the
comparative number of inches of le-
I
M
PERIAL
THEATRE
Friday Dec. 1 9th
Mary Pickf ord
Proves That She is a Great and Wonderful Actress as
JUDY ABLOT .
Don't for Any Reason Miss Seeing
MARY PICKFORD
in Jane Webster's Celebrated Story
"Daddy Long Legs"
The Love Story of an Orphan
The Story Alone Cost $40,000.
Admission 25c & 35c
SATURDAY DEC. 20
Matinee and Night. Prices 25-C5c
5 Acts Pantages Vaudeville 5
Act 1. The Dancing Roots, who are known the world
over for the famous whirlwind novelty dancing wonders.
Act 2. Clarence Leigh "From the Mimic World."
Humor, melody, whistling and imitations.
Act 3. Moralles Bros., presenting a comedy acrobatic
act, which creates a lot of laughs; both boys come direct from
Barnum & Bailey's circus.
Act 4. Sam and Goldie Harris present a comedy satire,
"The End of the Line."
Act 5. Lucy Lucier Trio, the great comedy novelty and
harmony singers.
PHOTOPLAY
Wm. Desmond in
"LIFE'S A FUNNY PROPOSITION"
The story of a bachelor's agonies over the unexplained
possession of an innocent baby.
Comedy Charles Chaplin in "POLICE"
SPECIAL SUNDAY AND MONDAY
"MALE AND FEMALE"
Look for Ad Elsewhere in This Issue
ultimate, bona-flde, home news will
soon discover that The Herald leads.
It's not enough to have home
news It must be well wrlten. With
all due regard for Doiler riate lien's
feelings, which are tender enough,
heaven knows, he's no writer and
never will be. If one wished to be
technical, he could take any article
that the Sallow ever wrote and dis
cover crudities by the doien. We're
not the most finished performer in
this respect, but we won't take off
our hats to Den or the ofDce boy,
either, although the latter knows
more about the technique of writing
now than his chief ever will. With
pastepot and shears, with columns of
boiler plate, with plenty of brag and
bluster, with all sorts of arrogance,
The Times marches on and will
probably continue to do so to the
end of the chapter. We're perfect
ly willing that it should do so. We
expect to have competition in as good
a city as this, and couldn't pick out
any easier if we set out to do so.
Reverting for a moment to the
former pugilist's pathetic attempts
to make the English language roll
over and bark for him, we are re
minded to say a word about his
Teepslghts." Nine times out of ion
they are so rotten that any number
of self-respecting cltliens of Alliance
have protested against their slinil
ness "slimlness" being a derivative
of "slime."
Dut now and then there is a 'Teep
slghl" which is really good. It is
clean and refreshing and humorous.
And whenever we strike one of that
variety we can't help wondering If
ttufiis Jones wrote it. Somehow they
read Just about like Kufe, who, be
fore he became a commercial secre
tary, was one of the brightest news
paper men in the south.
Some of these days we are going
to ask Secretary Rufe about this. He
probnbly won't discuss it with us,
though. The sec. has shown a per
fectly commendable disposition to
stand aside as a disinterested spec
tator and watch the little scrap
'twlxt the two newspapers.
Have you ever tntcl the deli
rious toast that can be prepared by
an electric toaster? Nothing fa more
convenient for a light brenkfaxt. See
them at Newberry's Hardware, for
$ 0.75. If you are puzzling over their
Sift look no further. 6
Glasses
DRAKE & DRAKE Accurately Fitted
OPTOMETRISTS
We Can Duplicate any Broken
Lena.
81 S M Ilox Butte Ave. fhone 131
Children's Garments
Need a thorough cleaning and pressing
at frequent intervals. They wear much
longer if kept in proper shape. We do .
the work promptly.
Fielding & Son
Phone 682
m1 J.
CL-" tit M T-T
Beautiful Floor Lamps
Complete $25.00 to $70.00
Nothing Adds so Cheerful a Touch to the Home as a Beautiful Lamp'
Any Room May Be Made Attractive Through Attractive Lighting
The Bases arc Richly Finished in Mahogany, Poly
crome and Oak, and may be had in a 'variety of designs.
Fitted with Long Extension Cord and Pull Socket.
The Shades are made in many beautiful combina
tions of colors, of the finest quality Silk, with mull lining
and Chenille fringe.
Bissells
Carpet
Sweepers
Electric
Vacuum
Cleaners.
They
Are
The
Best.
FIBRE
ROCKERS
AND
CHAIRS
Plain
Also With
Upholstered Seats
And Backs,
In Neat, Durable
Coverings.
Comfortable to the
Extreme.
Have You Seen Our Solid Mahagany Hope Chests? Period Models
Fancy Bed Room Chairs, Rockers and Benches.
Mahogany and Walnut.
An Open Fire A Comfortable
Chair, A Pleasant Evening
A comfortable chair drawn up before an open fire adds
wonderfully to the enjoyment of long Winter evenings.
We have these in Solid Mahogany, of the William and Mary
period designs; they have cane panel back and seat.
I
Luncheon And
Card Tables
Strong, Durable, Imitation Leather
and Felt Tops.'
The Store Beautiful
Walk Around This Way And Look At Our Window Displays.
GEORGE D. DARLING
115117 WEST THIRD STREET
ALLIANCE, NEBRASKA