' 'a1 '-'' vf--'
TUB ALLXAXC3 (NZBIULSKA) XR2ALD
Thursday, April 17, Itl
BOTH WERE OUT OF! LUCK
C4tl Jvrt Happ1 A !, M
Private IIk(4 Paar MaUrint m
Which Prattle.
1 Tfet rolonfl hud rhldrn bit iMtn M
towa In 'tht ' ftrrntHtn, nl It wi
dnrk wlirn h re
turned to camp
Rome dlmnnci
out'ltle the fiiare
line lie dial
lrn(tH l a vilci
from the dark
ook:
"Haiti Wh
ffwa theret"
CnlonH." M
nnerHl as he reined .Id hla tnoant
"Dismount, rnlonel. Advance am'
recognleed."
lie ttiin certiiln that there wan Bom
rlntakr, for no muiril wan Mipfroprd tc
be posted there. li.t a nentry'a order
re not In he diiwilteyed, he gruin
bUngly dixinounted and led bin liorM
forward, Inwardly Towing tenReann
galnot the aerpeant of the guard whe
had rautiJ him all this trouble.
Aa he approached the sentry h
karat out wrathful y:
"Who In thunder pouted you here?"
' "No one, sir. Tm Just practising."
QUESTIONNAIRE
ANIWISI WHICH WILL fOLVB
ptstPLixiNO pnoaitMa of
THI attCONtTRUCTION BRA.
Tension Was Relievsd. ' r
'flora time ago a regiment of col
ored stevedores was ro route over
ess on a transport. A large numbei
f them were eornfreld and cotton
Yorkers, unaccustomed to the water.
Of course there had Ifteen much talk of
arobmaiines.
' .' On the tilth day out one of the can
ont of the transport auddenly
doomed, and call to , quarters wai
onnded, soon followed. ly "Abandon
ihlp" call. There were several inor
ahota, and the feeling. was Intense, tl
iraa not known whether the submarine
would fir a torpedo or not After
ertea of shots, with the tension at It
highest pitch, there waa a sudden
Head quiet. All faces were peering
ever the rail for the .unknown peril
Suddenly from the rear rank wat heard.
"Is der any .nigger present what
antt to buy a gold watch and chain?
' The tension wat Immediately ro
Bayed.
i Now Airplane.
-1 New Ilrltlsh airplanes Increase th
taargin of safety against accident
This atory of a recent test show how
fttabl these airplanes are : ' A pilot
fllmbed to a sufficient height, and then
topped hit engine and took his hand
ff the controls, merely keeping hit
feet on the rudder bar. He steered
for an airdrome 20 miles away and
mcept for keeping It straight he lei
the (dan do .what It liked. It trar
led tb Whole 20 mile ai tteadlly a
Mcycl coasting down a long
freight and gentle hill. 'Of course
CM pilot had to take hold of the con
tool sOck to land the machine In the
airdrome, but except for that and the
steering the plnne made the wholt
Journey by Itself.
A DISAGHKE
MKKT KIQHT
A WAT.
Thl'i Is a at
ltchtful' nlsce to
spend our honey
moon, ian't It?
Not another man
In sight.
That's the only
objection I have
to It.
Qeery. Tke f eeemmaat has lauaefc4
aa etfucatlosaj ram pa if a te neautM
fcelKIn la order te put mere Ma t
work. Weul set a 1m()ar movemaat to
ahew bew the old atructures eaa be tort
and sneal eronomlrally resalre aad made
good as new alaa hlT
Answer. It la learned that such a
plan la In effect and 'a linked directly
with th Washington propagsnda.
Industry mutt be turned back from
workt of war to the waft of peace.
Employment must be found, In tb
meanwhile," for those whose occupa
tion bat been Interrupted. There it no
real surplus of labor in tb United
8tatea. Ilather there la a shortage,
whjrh would be acute If normal condl
dltlont were already restored, and on
atep towards restoring them will com
with resumption of repair work.
Government restrlctlona, lmosed by
the necessities of the war program,
have foTrnany months past retarded
or altogether prevented construction,
Improvement and repairs. Theac re
strictions are now off, and there la
acarcely a town, a city, a factory, a
dwelling or a farm that doe not reveal
a crying need for prompt attention.
Nothing delays auch Instant action ex
cept th feeling that prices ar high
for th tlm being and may be lower.
' That la aot logical ; No matter what
It cost to repair, th cost I ies Uaa
th coat of neglect N matter what
th coat of paint, th wind and th
weather will collect a higher bill la
deterioration and decay.
NsrwefiUn Yetfdmf FaatfvttJaa.
A Norwegian wedding I delight
ful spectacle. The picturesque Nor
weglan national costume It worn, and
the wedding party walk or drive In
procession to the church. After the
ceremony there Is a dance on th vil
lage green, with a violin for accom
paniment, till It Is tiro for annoer.
The nett day the festivities are rf-
aumexl and possibly they may extend
to tne day after.
Fog Hav 8ilenc Zones."
Fog bell and buoys are frequentl..'
Ineffective, because cf the "xones of
silence" prevalent In fog banks. Fre
quently these tones not only retard a
aound but, stop it entirely. In the
same bank of fog there will be n long
lane through which sound will c firry
Icarly. Hie result Is that one ship
may hear another that Is far off and
have no hint of a third that Is clone
at bund. People's Home Journal.
Difficult Men to Handle. V
There Is no clnss of men So dlftVolt
e be mannged In n.stnte as thoxe
chose Intentions ore honest, but
whose consciences ore bewitched.
Napoleon.
1 1 It
f Qmtt. Wntt 4 re think of paint a
M liTMtiMit, aslds from th apaaaraaoa
It UadsT Does It rny PAT U nalat m
heuae regularly, aay, every tkre or Kwr
ysarsf
piled when needed 1 th main thing in
sklag a bouso last long and welL ,A
kens worth $2,000 caa b painted at
cost f aboat $1217 In 60 year that
nova will need about 18 paliUnf,
th toUl cost of which will b $1,880.
Lft without paint, auch a bona would
fall I at complete ruin In 80 year. Bo
taking t0 yra a a batlt for ur n
ar.w end that :wlth. paint ! a aoia
- ... . -. .:. " ......
win iasi mat um la gooo conoiuoa
aad will coat, plat palat, $4375.. Wlt-
at paint th hoot would h t b
rebuilt at th end of 80 year and
would b ready for another complet
renovation when th sixtieth year ar
rived. Coat, without paint, $0,000 for
a bom ready t fall . to pieces. Do
regular - painting pay) At th
Dutch aeag ays: . ., r
-FAINT FAYt F6ft IT8CLF."
..... i.-.
Query. 1 bv quanttty of eld paint
haad. Caa I um It for th Bret coat la
repainting my barnt
Answer. On no. account should old
paint which has become fat b uaod
for priming either old or new work
Old paint In that condition la best used
on a fence, brickwork or tlnwork. If
you value your barn sufficiently to
paint it, do It tb justice of a good Job.
Lightning Calculation.
An eminent elect rlclnn bus flcurd
ont the liorxt'ovtr of a light nlni; flash.
The nin on nt of lleht Klven by a single
lightning flnsh Is sufficient to Illumi
nate ii n nren two miles squiire with an
verage Illumination of one cantlle.
To produce xuch tin lllunilnution, be
retlinntes, the expenditure of 13,000
tor power for one second would be
required.
U. . InvenU Antl Rust "Dope."
I inciuciu 10 in war, ine government
i has faced tb problem that has so long
I proved baffling to commercial con-
I cerns of protecting Iron and steel from
rust In nn attempt to solve this fed
eral specialists hav perfected vartoua
forms of protective coatings. In this
connection It may be pertinent to ask
whether commercial use will not b
found also for th so-called "dope"
which the government hat Invented to
be applied to airplane wings and which
arc possessed of valuable weatber-r
sitting and fireproof qualities.
It pays to advertise in The Herald
Flour
.Feed
Coal
fx
Farm Implements
FARMERS UNION
CO-OPERATIVE ASS'N
Avoid Becoming Nagger.
If yon ftnd yourself Inclined to be
come nagger yon had better apply
for a Uttl vacation and a change of
Scene. Absence --from home and
nsiness Is often the best enre for a
blue gorgled vision. " A little contact
with th world and the struggles of
others often helps ruske home folks
more reasoneblc-e-at Vast for a time-
Forestall tht! mulady by learning to
tea the better side of life, rractlce
aindly speech even If It hurts you.
Th Missus in Charge.
The editor of the Jefferson Review
recently took his first vacation In a
large number of years, and In his lat
est lue remarks : "Tnat wire or onrs
hits a queer way of running business.
She I nn;s all the money she takes In,
but doesn't pay any bills. Werks all
right one way, but has kept us busy
ilnce we got hoL.y." Oresontan.
Differences in Fashion.
In Japan the professional bennty
oves to nppenr with golden teeth ; in
tndln she prefers them stained red,
ut In certnln piirt T Sumntra no lady
who resjiects herself would conde
scend to have any front teeth at nit.
GLEN MILLER
UNDERTAKING
-PARLORS
7 if
128 West Third Street
Telephone Day 311
Night 522 Red 520
N
Renew Shabby
Varnished Surfaces
You can easily make marred or shabby Tar
nished surfaces bright and new. For floors that
are worn and scuffed URe Acme Quality Varnotile
Floor Varnifih. Woodwork and furniture should
be varnished with Acme Quality Interolite. Win
dow sills, doors and exterior surfaces are given a
durable finish with Acme Quality Sparkote or Ex
terolite. There's an -
ACME QUALITY
VARNISH
for every purpose. A floor varnish that's tough
and durable and made especially to be walked upon,
varnishes for automobiles and carriages, woodwork,
furniture or any surface that can be varnished,
either indoors or outdoors.
Tell us which you need.
F. J. BRENNAN
NOTICE
All accounts due Snoddy &
Mollring are payable to Snoddy
& Graham, at the same address
Snoiddy & Grahai
-i Vi.
IMPERIAL - ONE NIGHT APRIL 21, 1919
ALLIED WAR VETERANS
MILITARY BAND
(THE FIGHTING SONS OF . GUNS)
Watch Big Street Parade Monday
e
THE BIG MUSICAL EVENT OF THE SEASON
fliBATTLE SCARRED VETERANS
WblR E'CT FROM FRANCE
, .- . . . ....
' t , r ' ' ...
The Band that Went Over the Top Hear the Boys tell of their Ex
periences at the Front.
) i nil t ! : )
JACK CARTER, Comedian, LEW PRICCE, Welsh Tenor
!' - i.. ... .i.
'The Ladies From Hell" Pipe Band
Two and a Half Hours of Novel and Instructive Entertainment
Prices Lower Moor $1. Balcony $1.50