The Alliance herald. (Alliance, Box Butte County, Neb.) 1902-1922, March 11, 1904, Image 5

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    FIGS AND THISTLES.
POINTED PARAGRAPHS.
WHEN NOT TO MARRY.
FLORIDA PHILOSOPHY.
WIT AND WI8DOM.
A
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SENTENCE SERMONS.
Faint heart In famished litart.
rroniptltuilo is tho llfo of praise.
He who waits on fute wins failure.
Spiritual growth lr never spasmodic.
The truth that hits 1b the truth we
hate.
Faith Is never developed by finding
f.iult.'
The host kind of love Is love of our
kind.
There la no service where there is
servility.
t
There are no rights without respon
sibilities. , Men who arc downcast are easily
cast down.
The high livers do not reach the
heights of life.
The devil would have no dupes i he
had no decoys.
He who gives the world most al
ways finds ho owes It most.
The world needs broad sympathy
more than broad sentiments.
There is more health In happiness
than there is happiness In health.
He who works for the human race
;has a good show In the heavenly race.
, There is no virtue in hearing two
sermons If you do not practice either
-of them.
"When money can secuie your com
plaisance with wrong more money will
secure your cooperation.
The gate of heaven may he narrow,
'but many will find that it takes more
than narrowness to enter there. Chi
cago Tribune.
PENCIL POINTS.
Sober second thoughts usually occur
the next morning.
i
Bachelor girls are spinsters who
refuse to udmlt it.
The ten commandments are good
examples of broken English.
Planets revolve, but shooting stars
are not necessarily roolvers.
, It Isn't necessary to erect a monu
ment when you bury animosity.
Many a well-informed woman has
her servant giil to thank for it.
I jordcr in a political meeting sel
dom begins unUI after It is called to
order.
Acting' is supposed to be a profes
Hon. hut sometimes it is merely a
walk in life.
A woman is never really prostrated
with grief unless she is unable to con
sult her dressmaker.
Every minister Is hopeful that the
strife In the choir will cease when
the millennium rolls around.
JAPANESE PROVERBS AND SAY
INGS. Heic are a few proverbs and say
ings current ninong the Japanese:
I'.efoie argument, proof.
nI.lve under your-own hat.
' Habit has more weight than Instruc
tion. Those who know the ropes do most
hauling.
Rubbing salt into a wound is adding
insult to Injury.
Beware of beautiful women as you
would of red pepper.
A wife's tongue, three Inches long,
can kill a man six feet high.
The Japanese language Is quite de
Icleut In terms of abuse. Golf Is
oevor likely to become popular In the
couutry. Westminster Gazette.
BUSINESS WOMAN'S RULES.
lie honest.
Don'U worry.
.Re courteous to all.
!ecp your ow n counsel.
Don't ask for vacations.
V.e loyal to our employer.
'Ojn't complain about trifles.
Be business-like, not womanish.
Bo prompt a little ahead of. time
At possible.
Be neat and attractive but unobtru
sive, in your person.
Take kindly criticism In the spirit
in which it was intended.
T
Do the vory best you can each day
.aud every day, so that when there is
u chance for promotion, you will not
only bo "called, but chosen." Chicago
Journal
Sympathy never goos on a strike.
Sttnso flees when the souses rule.
Oreed Is the devil's seed of need.
Signs of doubt nro seeds of despair.
Virtues are not preserved by pick
ling. A man's life Is worth what it costs
him.
Standing for God Is starting for
glory.
God may send us poverty to starve
our sins.
An unoniy won by love will be a
friend for life.
There can lie no sympathy where
there is suspicion.
There are many kinds of Christians,
but only one Christ.
The biggest Interest comes from
what we give away.
The obedience of the heart Is the
heart of all obedience.
The standard of cash Is not the
standard of the kingdom.
The road to heaven Is lined with
the trees of Hod's planting.
A man's title to heaven does not de
pend on his titles on earth.
The man who makes others live In
a sly is the worst hog of all.
The attractiveness of heaven de
pends on the treasures we have there.
Ham's Horn.
ALL TRUE.
Few politicians lead double lives.
One of t" e kind Is enough.
When a man falls In love the fall
Is apt to break his pocketbook.
When a man Is addicted to political
vaporing he Is apt to befog the Issue.
Any man who calls himself an Idiot
wants others to question his veracity.
Some engagements end happily, hut
the majority of them end In mnr
rlage. Most of our enemies are oo con
trary to stand still while we do the
coal of-flrc-heaplng act.
Wealth has its penalties. You never
hear of a poor man spending his
money for dyspepsia tablets.
Any man who lias been three times
married and three times dlorced Is
entitled to a front room In a daffy
asylum.
When one woman tells another that
she Is still looking quite young It
means she is beginning to carry
weight for age.
BILL BUGG'S BLARNEY.
Let us all grow lettuce, if prices are
to continue at present figures.
The man who buys and smokes
cigars evidently has money to burn.
Some men who ride In parlor cars
are sadly deficient in parlor manners.
Florida sunshine Is the magnet that
Is drawing the magnates southward.
There Is one school a Florida boy
delights to gel Into a school of mul
let. When the flying machine Is perfect
ed wo can all get up in the air, if wc
want to.
As the price per foot of city lots
advances, the higher In tho air go the
bulldiiirs.
It is quite possible for one to be
come Intoxicated on water If he be
aboard a boat.
It's a wise goat that knows Its own
mate after It reaches the butcher's
stall aud Is listed as spring lamb.
Florida Times-Union.
SPLINTERS.
Turkey dressing Feathers.
The man who doesn't stop to look
at the sign post cannot blamo any
body but himself for taking the wrong
road.
Jenners Has that grand opera star
such a high voice? Benners Well, I
should say so; you have to ;ut up flvo
plunks to hear her sing.
If the couits Insist on setting a
market value on stolen kisses some
people will, lose the only chance they
ever had of being Kissed.
Any joung man who has never ben
In love ought to have money In the
savings hank.
The Judge Prihonor. what exeiuo
have joii to offer for attempting to
kiss the defendant? The Prisoner
It was dark, your honor, and I'll take
my oath that I couldn't see bar plain
ly. Tho bout a man ovtir did fchould not
be bis standard for the rest of hU
life.
A widow always Icllcvcs in platonlc
love for others.
Too many men arc lncnpablo of do
ing their own thinking.
Oirls who mako fools of men usually
make lasting Impressions.
A lot of misery comes to the man
who sits down and vuits.
Most of the good times wo have aro
not appreciated until the next dny.
Some men are too busy to tnko a
rest .intll the undertaker gets them.
Any girl who thinks as much of a
man as she docs of ncrself will do to
tie to.
There aro a few sclf-mndo men and
a lot of self-made blonde women In
tho world.
If lombRtonos nre truthful the ceme
teries contain more good people than
ever lived.
It may bo all right to give credit to
whom credit Is due, but spot cash Is
always preferable.
Most people would rather' blamo a
man for whn' he doesn't than glvo
Iiim credit for what he does.
A man may be disappointed in tho
friendship of his friends, but he can
always depend on tho enmity of his
enemies.
Today the average man Is saving
up to buy n home, to-morrow ho 'buys
It and the day nftcr he will try to sell
It for less than cost. Chicago News.
BUDS AND FLOWERS.
Ability never amounts to much until
It ncqulres two more letters stability.
Our incomes arc like our shoes. If
too small they gall and pinch us, but
if too large they cause us to stumblo
and to trip.
Write your name with kindness,
love, and mercy on tho hearts of tho
people you come In contact with year
by year, and you will never be forgot
ten. A life spent amidst holy things may
he intensely secular: a life the most
of which is passed in tho thick and
throng of the world may he holy and
divine.
The great duty of life is not to glvo
pain; and the most acute reasoner can
not find an excuse for one who volun
tarily wounds the heart of n fellow
creature.
We save and toll, we worry and
fret; and all the while close over us
bonds tho infinite wonder and beauty
of nature, saying, "Look up my child!
Feel my smile and bo glad!"
If we find that our time pnsses slow
ly and heavily, wo may bo sure there
is something wrong within. Either wo
have not enough to do or we work me
chanically, without heart or energy.
Live not for selfish aims. Live to
shed joy on others. Thus best shall
your own hnpplnet-s bo secured; for
no joy is ever given freely forth that
does not have quick echo in the giv
er's own heart. Household Guest.
WHAT THE FIGURES SHOW.
Iowa pays women school teachers
less than any other state, the average
salary being $30.91 per month.
Experts estimate the total number
of books printed lu the world at 12,
730,000. The annu.nl production Is
now 150,000.
The consumption" of cigars and ci
garettes Increased enormously last
year. Smokers used 0,787,454,108 ci
gars and .1,254,883,330 cigarettes.
Russia, Houinnnla and Scrvla aro at
the top of the list in illiteracy, 80 per
cent of the population of these conn
tiles being unable to read or write.
One million persons in the United
States own railway stocks or bonds.
Eighty per cent of the holdings In
American railroads is now held In the
United States.
JOTTINGS.
The telephone Is not deaf, but It Is
often hard of healing.
J
Makes a hit oftener than tho actors
The stage carpenter.
The timekeeper of a factory neces
sarily ban a watch movement.
It Is tho man who plays to Hip gal
lery that gets the cheap applause.
Sunday school teacher Now, tell
me, Willie, what makes all good little
boys to go Sunday school?
Little Willie Christmas.
A man does not mako his own load
of troubles any lighter by burdening
his friends with them.
Lots of good time is lost by most
people in talking about a man's sin
when they might bo praying for him.
Ada They say that the match he
tuSVn Will and Gladys was a case of
lovo at first sight.
Marglo It must havo been; they
would never have married had they
takeu a second look.
Don't marry to reform n mnn. Ho
who would not roform before marriage
Ij not llkoly to do so afterward. There
Is no more fallacious hope a girl can
entertain than that of changing an
unrcformod rnko Into a good husband.
Don't marry a mnn who has only his
love to recommend him; there nre
other qualities requisite In husbands
quite as important as this. A head Is
wanted as well as a heart.
Don't mnrry a man for a livelihood;
thcro aro hotter, safer and more honor
able ways by which women can earn a
living nowadays.
Don't mnrry a man who threatens
that, If refused, he will go straight to
tho had. Threats aro tho outcomo of
a weak, unstablo and unmanly nature.
Don't marry a man becauso he is
handsome and looks well In his
clothes. Tailors' dummies do not
mako the best husbands.
Don't mnrry a man to spite another
man; curses, llko crows, come homo to
roost.
Don't marry a man because he Is tho
flrat ono who hnB asked you. and you
are afraid If you refuse him you will
be nn "old maid." Occasionally old
maids aro to bo found who nro hap
pier than Borne wives.
Don't marry a man to whom "Yes"
has been Bald in a moment of mis
taken sympathy or sentimental ecs
tnsy. Sympathy Is not love, neither Is
ecstasy; tho latter, when carried .to
excess, is a form of hysteria, and both
are poor foundations for mntrlmony.
Liverpool (Eng.) Mercury.
MUSINGS.
ItlUHl III II1U IUUID 111 II1IO nunu
haven't got tho money to part- with.
When a girl poses as a beauty sho
is usually more ornamental than use
ful. The average woman spends moro
time than money when she goes shop
ping. An epicure Is a person who doesn't
enjoy tho kind of food that agrees
with him.
Every time a man doesn't say any
thing he lessens his chances of being
called a fool.
When an American girl Is looking
for a title she should not marry be
yond her father's means.
TIiohc who hav novuse for the low
ly should remember that tho lower
jaw does nearly all the work,
Tho more wheels a man has tho
better off he Is if they are In his
pocketbook instead of Ills head.
A woman has ceitainly reached the
limit when she's so homely that auto
mobile goggles are becoming to her.
The older a man gets tho more ho
appreciates the fact that ho wasn't
allowed to havo his own way when a
boy.
When a girl marries a man because
ho declares ho couldn't live without
her isn't she entitled to a life-saving
medal?
lTn( T 11.. f.w.l.. I.. tliln -M.rtvl.t
EXPORTS AND IMPORTS.
American fashion plates are used In
German tailor shops.
The United States sold Corea about
$400,000 worth last year.
The port of New Chwang, at the
mouth of the Lino river, is tho great
est bean market in tho world.
American apples nre seen on overy
fruit stand and nro peddled through
every street In-Berlin, the price being
G cents a pound. Germany consumed
about 7,000 tons of our apples during
last year.
Tho ship subsidy law or Austria
provides bounties and premiums." fron
and steel steamships receive an an
nual bounty of $2.44 per ton, while the
bounty of iron and steel sailing ships
is $1.83, and that of wooden and part
Iron sailing ships $1.23 per ton. Iron
and steel sailing ships have their
bounties increased by 10 per cent If
built lu Austrian shipyards, and by 23
per cent If at least half the raw ma
terial used In their construction Is of
Aotrian origin.
LEFT-HANDED PHILOSOPHY.
Homeliness Is unlike beauty chiefly
in the fact that it doesn't fade.
The average Individual falls to rec
ognize blessings through their dis
guises. Revenge is sweet when you get It
yourself. When It Is taken out of
you it's different.
Most critics seem to think that criti
cism is solely a scientific method of
throwing a heavy hammer.
When the first compositor set In
type tho proverb about "Truth Is
mighty." he apparently loft oft tho
word "inconvenient."
Men who have money to bum usu
ally find a golden phoenix rising from
tho ashes. Tho trouble Is that most
folks think money is made to burn
and find tho bird to be plated
The first loars of childhood aro
prayers.
taw
Temperance in prosperity, and cour
age In adversity.
Tho man who becomes real angry
at slander often makes It true.
There nro no unattainable Ideals,
except to those who have none.
Some men nro so selfish that they
often blame themselves In order to ho
praised.
What soul on earth Is not girt with
grave secrecies; burled in tho llfo
like tho scent of tho rose.
The truo man glories in tho upward
movement of nil men, both as to na
tions, the world and the universe.
Some public man snld thai we must
put more conscience Into politics
how can you force conscience Into tho
devil?
Whllo you struggle nnd toll lu du
ties' exacting sphere, think of tho
creeds nearest to your heart nnd tnko
courage
Patience may he the bitter experi
ences of todny. but its fruit will bo
filled with tho honey contli of tho
years to come.
Still benr In mind Hint success does
not lie In trying to build yourself up
by pulling your brother down; that
low, cheap principle leads to a suro
failure.
Nature made the law that lovo, llko
genius, should know no law but Its
own, and all the chant of priests and
nil the frowns of Jurists cannot change
what nature has decreed by an eternal
code. Florida Times Union.
CAREFULLY THOUGHT OUT.
Head nature; it is tho friend to
truth.
laughter Is tho cipher-key where
with to decipher, tho man.
The worse of nil knaves are thoso
who can mimic their honesty.
Indifference Is not a question .of
physical demeanor tho principle lies
In the heart.
Jt has been snld that love Is llko
the measles all the worse when It
comes late In life.
Mnn Is but a poor struggling being,
bound to his environments and chain
ed to clrcumstnnces.
Every promfse of the soul has In
numerable fulfilments; each of lis joys
ripens into golden fruit.
Tho man who does not like music
Is a human being whose principles nre
cunning nnd deceptive.
No prayer, no matter now humble
tho man, but what does some good to
tho world and IIh heartaches.
A little touch of sympathy and pity
Is the anchor that saves muny a llfo
from drifting upon the reefs.
Tho page remained blank far Into
tho night, but Inspiration eumo
through Its mysterious channels, nnd
living thoughts crept thereon.
CHINFAYNE.
It Is not safe to trust to the good
heartcdncss of u man simply because
he is fat.
The less there Is required of a man,
the harder it Is to get him to do it
satisfactorily.
The fact that yon have done your
best Is no guarantee that what you
have done Is right.
Whether nn action Is a favor or a
compliment defends upon who makes
the request for service.
A desire lo associate with those who
have more money than he has has been
the ruin of many a man.
It is so much easier to attack than
to defend that it is no wonder wi aro
becoming a nation of fault finders.
The trouble about professing to bo
good Is that It requites too much ef
fort to keep up to the record you may
acquire.
There was a tlmeii when mankind
were all heroes. If you can believe tho
stories of the leftovers from a past
generation. "Uncle Dick," In Milwau
kee Sentinel.
BRIEF TRAILERS.
Our desire Is to mako others good,
our duty to make them happy.
He most nearly overcomes Imperfec
tion who most seeks perfection.
Many people are victims of mis
placed confidence In themselves.
Food for wicked thought Is that
usually supplied at boarding housos.
The rlchor a man gets, the more
careful he should be to keep his head
level.
Every time a man Iorob his tomper
he loses his head, aud when ho loses
his head he loses sevoral chances.
Chicago Journal.
Tho posslmlst Is the fellow whoso I
morality has cold feet.
Every girl who works Is not such a I
beauty as to enslave her employer.
Tho optimist Is tho fellow who!
thinks he can always loop life's loop.
We offer no rewards for "lost time '
yet It Is one of our most precious po3-l
sessions.
The flying machine may be nil right
but nn old donkey Is safer on a lone-!
somo road.
Wero It not for onvy the residential
town sues wouiu not command scl
large a figure.
Tho most pnthetlc sights on earth
aro nn old horse turned out to die andl
an old man whom nobody wants
When a married woman lecture
nhout home and husbands hubby!
should tell his version of the stor
,,,,. . , .. m ... - .. .
i lien- iiuisi no nu nwiut lot or soldi
comfort In being able to buy a 1 jt od
nowspapers wherein to "boom ' ono'sl
self.
If other people valued us us wrl
value ourselves we would he nflllcteil
with a chestlness Hint would put ouJ
buttons out of business.
The, mnn with a pull and the mail
without a pull soon learn tin' all
though nil men were born equal luiil
don t nlwuys strike the same way.
When a man buyB newspapers fol
the purpose of advertising IiIb owd
philanthropies thcro may he more sclfl
complacency than charity In the deal
Kate Thyson Marr.
PARAGRAPHS WITH POINTS.
Little white, lies live long and proJ
per.
The world will forgive a man almo.s
anything except failure.
It Is Imposslblo to patch up a reptl
tatlou so the patches won t show.
If a man who falls In love at slgll
is wlso ho will take a second look bJ
fore proposing.
There nro two sides to ovory storj
Tho victory you win means defeat fo
tho other fellow.
Sometimes the breaking of an eJ
gagement enables the parties to ll
happily over after.
What a grand and glorious wori
this would be If every man would fcl
low tho advice ho gives to others!
No ordinary mnn can love a woms
as much ns she thinks he ought to ai
attend to his work at tho same tlrn
Life Is n good deal like a meal lu
cheap restaurant. Tho things yt
want mil to show up on the hill
fare.
No, Cordelia, don't plno away if li
young man asks you to return the
gagement ring; sprueo up and go oftl
another one. Orjnha Bee.
SOME WEATHER LORE.
Hoarfrost indicates rain.
Threo foggy or misty mornings
dlcate rain. Oregon.
Heavy frosts bring heavy rain;
frosts, no rain. California.
If metal plates nnd dishes sweat
Is a sign of bad weather. Pliny.
A rising fog indicates fair weathcj
if the fog settles down expect rain.
Fog from seaward, fair weather: f
from landward, rain. New Euglai
When the perfume of flowers Is t
usually perceptible rain may bo
pccteil.
Tho larger the halo about the rao
the nearer the rain clouds aud tl
sooner the rain may be expected
When the mountain moss Is soft al
limpid expect rain. When mounhl
moss Is dry and brittle expect chl
weather. New York World.
REFLECTIONS OF A BACHELt
A stump speaker Is almost as
cere as an actor.
What a woman Is ashamed of
pends on who the man Is.
It takes an awful lot of money not!
care whether people think you lu
any or not.
What a girl likes about gettl
flowers from the right man is the n
he hides In them and she forgets
tell her mother about. Now Y
Press.
CYNICISMS.
As a rule, tho boy who can be kj
tied to his mother s apron string dj
not need the restraint,
Slnnors are necessary to art;
life of a saint Is as placid and uni
turesque as a puddle of water.
Constancy Is admirable; but its
ever-shifting weather-cock that
loolfed up to, James Ball Naylorl
Ohio State Journal.