Nebraska Newspapers

    Dakota County Herald
DAKOTA CITY, NIB.
John H. Ream,
rubllthel
i
IlegewiKch Illinois, bows humbly to
Cadillac, Michigan.
Zelaya Is going to write a. book.
There is no law against It.
Queer aa It seems, the fast man
oon overtaken by misfortune.
IB
Prince de Sagan Is now a "serene
highness." He does not even look at
the bills.
A California woman lost $1,150
through a hole In her stocking. The
moral Is obvious.
Thirty-two Reasons are given for the
high cost of living, but there are proo
ably many others.
An ear of corn was sold the other
day for $6.50. It would make a fine
meal for that $10,000 hen.
"Is a hen a bird?" asks the govern
ment. Respectfully referred to the
man who owns Peggy, the $10,000 hen.
Prussians want universal suffrago,
"but the Kaiser may decide that what
they need is something equally as
good.
A motor road from the Atlantic to
the Paclflo is proposed, with road
louses, garages and hospitals every
Ave miles.
Dr. Wiley states that !f an egg floats
in salt water It Is not fresh. Grab
your egg and start for the Gulf of
Mexico at once!
Andrew Carnegie says he doesn't
want to go to heaven yet. But he
must not be understood as being op
posed to the place.
In St. Louis recently a man won $10
1y eating a dozen eggs within a given
time. It wasn't worth the effort If he
bad to buy his own eggs.
A New Jersey man found $5,000 in
a Bible his grandmother gave him
tblrty-flve years ago. Some of those
old-fashioned grandmothers had a fine
sense of humor.
A New York man, seeking Ameri
can citizenship, declared the United
States flag was green. Can a man
who Is so color blind an that bo
worked over into a good citizen?
The weather man at PlttBburg says
the groundhog has been wrong for
three successive years. It Is not be
lieved anything could be gained by
submitting the case to Copenhagen.
Belvldere Brooks, the new manager
of the Western Union Telegraph Com
pany, began his business career as a
messenger boy in Texas. He must
bare succeeded somehow In keeping
his front name a secret until he ceased
being a messenger boy and got out of
Texas.
A man In New York State, whl'.o
digging for water a few days ago, dis
covered a thick vein of excelloiit
anthracite clal. Without wishing to
be considered pessimistic, we are com
pelled to cling to the opinion that th)
money he may be able to save on coal
will be taken from him by the ice
companies or by the people from whom
lie buys his meats and groceries.
When does an unmarried woman
change from a young to an old maid?
That was the question, and it is one of
perennial interest, discussed In a Chi
cago woman's club the other day. No
agreement was reached, but when one
speaker declared that at 28 a woman
is not yet an old maid, and is "prob
ably better looking than at any other
age," Bhe was heartily applauded by
the other women present. It is inter
esting thus to discover that the mem
bers of the club are all about 28 years
old.
Particularly annoying and even dan
gerous abuses have sprung up in the
matter of "Interference" In wireless
telegraphy. Amateur operators who
delight in sending out hoax messages
cutting into Important despatches, an J
In general making aerial nuisances of
themselves, have from time to time
been reproved, but matters have gone
to such a length that the government
Is considering ways and means of end
Ing the trouble. From time im
memorial the air has been considered
free to all, and the only thing that
can wholly control the conduct of
those invisibly using It ia, not laws,
but manners.
Ironing linen has a greater effect
than is commonly believed. As the
temperature of the Iron may greatly
exceed 266 degrees Fahrenheit it has
been suggested that the process of
Ironing may suffice to sterilize surgical
dressings and hence be of valuable
service, especially in rural districts
and elsewhere, in the absence of dis
infecting ovens and sterilizers. Near
ly all microbes can be killed by a
sufficiently long application of a tem
perature of 158 degrees Fahrenheit,
but a temperature of 2lti degrees
Fahrenheit Ib required to kill certain
spores of bacteria and to produce ab
solutely complete sterilization. It has
been proved by experiment that It ia
possible to disinfect clothing very sat
isfactorily by ironing. Clothing which
has been worn by children affected by
various contagious diseases, and which
contained bacteria or pus, diphtheria
and the like, was sprinkled and Ironed.
It was then mount on plates of gela
tine prepared for I he culture of bac
teria, but not a single colony was de
veloped. There 1 comfort for university stu
dents al'lVs.; with "lilve slips" In a
curious btatlsilvcl study lately inr.;lo
of the 1'.; hfiti;y of Yal graduate:
and ncr.-Riadua'.cs for half a century,
'the examination was made l:y the sec
rr:rry c" : v. Lversity and t'e strik
ing results mubt be accepted as ic
curate. The only doubt we have about
thbai i Just what is meant by non
graduate. Probably it means only
Students who completed their four
years' course and were refused dlpl
mas at the end. Surely a different re
suit would have been reached if the
1 1st of non-graduates included all who
had ever studied at Vale for a longe
or shorter time. The result Is puzzling
enough anyway. Yale has produced
23,0(10 alumni In the half century an
In the same time nearly seven thou
sand students were sent away without
the coveted diploma. These non-graduates
are scattered all over the coun
try, came from all kinds of secondary
schools, good, bad and Indifferent, and
are credited to all departments of the
university, though the medical school
furnishes the largest percentage. Here
60 per cent fall to get diplomas, thougn
only 20 per cent failed In the academic
department or college proper. If suc
cess In life Is measured by attaining
standing In the professions and busi
ness, the compilation tells largely In
favor of the non graduates. The per
centage of them that have succeeded n
the arts, Journalism and letters, In the
ministry. In the public service, In
every business but finance and In
farming Is higher thnn the percentage
of successful graduates. The latter
have excelled only In education, tht
other professions, finance and science,
and their superiority Is slight except
In law and engineering. Obviously
graduates have been most successful
in professions that exact severe train
ing, non-graduates most successful In
those where It depends on natural en
dowment. WANTED HIS NAME IN PAPER
Cm-Ion QnrilUi RaUed la a, Cana
dian Court of Iaw.
A case of interest to newspaper men
came up before Chief Justice Meredith
last month when J. B. MacKenzle, a
Toronto lawyer, entered an action
against the Toronto World and George
M. Lee, its Osgood hall reporter, to
obtain an Injunction against the de
fendants, restraining them from omit
ting his name from reports of cases
in which he may be engaged as coun
sel or solicitor.
Chief Justice Meredith took the
stand that the World published the
report for the Information and Interest
of its renders; that this report must
necessarily be brief, but that so long
as It was in no particular incorrect and
contained no reflection in the nature
of libel or improper statement of fact.
the World had a right to publish what
it pleased.
In the present case, Printer and
Publisher states, the plaintiff did not
claim that any incorrect statement hail
been made or anything In the nature
of a libel published, but merely that
the report was not full enough to slut
him In that his name and connection
with the case had been omitted from It.
It renlly amounted to a complaint that
the World had not given him the ben
efit of advertising in connection with
the rase, and this, his lordship claim
ed, Mr. MacKenzle could not compel
the World to do. He suggested, hu
morously, that a contract at so much
line be made to cover the situa
tion.
Mr. MacKenzle claimed, however,
that the court had inherent right to
deal with the matter, and that every
body should be placed upon the same
footing or the reports excluded. He
claimed that such an omission was an
Injury to his calling, in that solicitors
from outside points would thus be hin
dered from sending him retainers. His
lordship dismissed the application for
injunction, and Mr. MacKenzle inti
mated that the matter is not yet
closed. i
LESSONS OF LIFE.
Kntllltr of Glvlaa; the Toons; the
Moat Coatly Tblna on Earth.
I wonder if you realize that It is
rather a solemn moment for any one
of my age to come face to face with
boys at your age, said Lord Rosebery
In an address at Edinburgh, according
to an exchange. I suppose between
the eldest of you and myself some flve-and-forty
years intervene. Looking
back on that period between the ter
mination of one's school life and the
period at which one has arrived, one
reviews It with a sense of one's own
great shortcomings, of one's 'waste of
time, of one's opportunities missed. No
one is wholly satisfied with his life.
The best of men that you could think
of cannot have felt any complete sat
isfaction at reviewing his career. But
there are degrees and degrees of satis
faction. The most costly thing in the world
Is what we are all willing to give to
those who are younger, and what our
Juniors never accept, but throw away
Into the ditch as soon aa they receive
It, as though it was destitute of all
value at all, and that Is experience. We
all buy our experience very dearly,
with pain, with anguish, sometimes
with our heart's blood, and yet when
we try to give it to those who are
younger than ourselves they treat It
with neglect, and they go into the
world resolved to buy their own expe
rience themselves.
Well, I, therefore, won't ofTer you
my experience, because, as I say, you
would reject It. Hut there Is a great
phase which has come down from the
ancients, which embodies, I think, all
that a boy at school ought to wish to
be, putting religion uslde. I am going
to say li in Latin, and you won't un
derstand It, because I pronounce it In
the Rton way, which Is all wrong, and
you pronounce It In the Scottish way
which Is nil right: "Mens sana In cor
pore sano." 1 suppose you would say
(here his lordship adopted tho Scot
tish pronunciation): "Mena snna In
eorporo sano" a healthy mind in a
healthy body.
IIOIH'lt-K.
Lawyer Von don't like the Jury?
Defendant I do not. No. 1 is tn
tailor, No. 3 Is my jiroccr. No. f Is my
ii'tl k nml dealer an.l No. 7 Is my
wlie's Hist lnislati,!. What chance
have 1 t;ot ? St . P.itii Dispatch.
I-'it t ii I n
"Why !s tvnyloc'.y so cordial to
.Li'X?"
"" 1 t--l;t a ori)!( of M Us or bacon
Ju'ii Hfo:e the meat strike went into
efiect Ulal he baa some of it yet."
llout.tcn I'; :A.
It occurs to every man occasionally
that he would like to be a pugilist tor
about thirty minutes.
MASKEKS.
ITope, the great explorer;
Love whom none rsn bind.
Youth thnt looks before her.
Age thnt looks behind.
Joy with I. row like Hummer's,
Core with wintry pute.
Masker nr- nml mummers
At Life's gate.
I'ow'r with narrow forehead.
Wealth with niggard palm,
Wisdom olil. whose hoar head
Vaunts a barren calm;
Haughty ovcrromers,
In their pomp and state;-
Maskers nil and mummers
At Death's Rate!
-William Watson.
TliatCIubSupper
T 1"t't"t"ffr ft-H-fT tttt
When Mrs. Myron Tuttle spoke up
in the business meeting of the Culture
Club and opened her house for the an
nual supper which that leading wom
an's club of Three Pines wus In the
habit of giving its husbands and some
8 pedal outside guests Mrs. Lawyer
White, who was the president, cough
ed a little wildly to gain time.
Always the club supper previously
had been held at the spacious resi
dence of the Springers, who had three
full sets of china. This season Mrs.
Springer was away, but it had been
rather understood that Mrs. Dr.
Sprong would offer to be hostess. Mrs.
Tuttle had spoken bo quickly when the
question was put that every one knew
she must have planned It long ahead.
And everybody, in the midst of her
dismay, wondered why.
In the first place, Hetty Tuttle was
no housekeeper. She was a large, com
placent woman, who did not wince
when her small son Tommy scratched
the mahogany piano with her em
broidery scissors and who was per
fectly happy If the house was undust
ed and the broom was standing In
the front hallway when callers ar
rived. Her benighted husband still
adored her after twenty-two years of
underdone steaks and no place for any
thing and everything always out of Its
place. Tho way Myron Tuttle let him
self be walked over was a scandal.
Hetty Tuttle disliked work in any
form, so nobody could Imagine why
she had put herself in the way of tak
ing on so much. Still, Mrs. Lawyer
White rather helplessly accepted the
offar from this dubious source and
then brightly moved that a chairman
he appointed to oversee the supper and
"TOU PKOI'l.E ARB CERTAINLY SWELL
COOKS."
relieve Mrs. Tuttle of some of the
work.
This was conceded to be a decidedly
clever arrangement, for there was no
use talking Hetty Tuttle never could
manage the affair herself. Mrs. Dr.
Sprong, who was given the post of
chairman, began borrowing embroider
ed lunch cloths of every one right and
left that very day, for she knew with
out asking that Mrs. Myron Tuttle
hadn't a couple of dozen laid by, as a
good housekeeper should. -
"Goodness knows," she mourned,
how we'll ever cook the chickens and
'.hIngB in her kitchen!"
As the time for the supper ap
proached the members of the Culture
Club took to dropping In on Hetty
Tuttle with cut glass and silver In
thetr arms. They said they thought
maybe she would find such things of
UBe in serving so many. Hetty Tuttle
accepted all these loans placidly. She
was the least concerned member of
the club. Seemingly, she did not wor
ry at all over this most Important
club function of the year, bo every one
else fretted herself into a fever.
Minnie, the Tuttles' 19-year-old
daughter, seemed to catch the excite
ment, however. Her mother deferred
to her In a worshipful' way and hand
ed all the cut glaRS over to her keep
ing.
"You go right ahead, Minnie," she
often said In those days. "I guess you
know what Is right and can show
em! I guess Alf Kreeble will see your
folks can entertain and do things as
well as his, even If they haven't got
so much money!"
At that Minnie Tuttle would turn
away with reddening cheeks, for she
knew that the main idea behind hav
ing the Culture Club supper at their
home was to dazzle Alf Kreeble and
urge him on a trifle faster. Of late
he had lagged in his attentions and
Hetty Tuttle could not bear to see her
daughter unhappy.
The women of the Culture Club will
never forget the night of that annual
supper. Amid all the hurry and tur
moil Mrs. Myron Tuttle moved calm
nnd undisturbed, while Mrs. Dr.
Sprong In her blnck silk, Mrs. Lawyer
White In rattling Jet and Half a dozen
others with red faces and glittering
eves bumped Into one another In the
Inconven'.eM kitchen, called wildly for
utensils which were not, exploded at
the discovery Ihut there was no sugar
In the inutry and had hysterics be
cause Mrs. Tuttle had forgotten to or
der t'.'P special potatoes for baking.
Crow Jed in the parlors around th
little tables were tho elite of the nieu
folks of the town, w:i;::,g for fool.
The tension was terrible. It was nhso
1 nt 1 1 y unthinkable tlmt tho Cull tiro
Club should have a failure laid at It-
door. So while all the club women
except Hetty Tuttle slaved and suffered
and ugonled to have Clings as they
should be nobody noticed how Minnie
Tuttle ami Alf Kreeble were slttini; to
gether cozlly on the lower stair. N
body observed that Minnie got Alf ul
white meat and three orders of dum
plings and two pieces of pie and a
ridiculous amount of cabbage salad
and hovered over blui while be ate.
WRECKS TRUCK TO
IP1
A
mi
mi
N MM
C.V .
I t. Wi
j
Frederick Mayer, dr(W of a hook und lauder i., ... ..... ... .. ...4 oL-
lyn hospital after perforrng a splendid deed of herobni while driving to a
fire. His horses were on a full run when directly In his path Mayer saw a
young woman Btandlng panic-stricken on a cross-walk. On one side, close
to her, stood a trolley car filled with passengers; on the other was one of
the tall iron pillars of the elevated railway. Had the driver kept on he
would have run down the woman; by turning to the right he would have
endangered the lives of the passengers. Mayer yelled to the firemen clust
ered along the sides of the truck to Jump, gave the reins a mighty tug and
ran full tilt into the Iron pillar. There was a crash, the horses were thrown
down, badly Injured, the truck was overturned and Mayer was pinned under
it with skull fractured, leg broken and body crushed.
Meanwhile Minnie looked very pretty
in her Huffy white dress.
"Say," Alt Kreeble told her at last,
"you people arc certainly swell cooks,
Minnie! I bet you helped your mother
do most of this, now, didn't you? Say,
that cake did you bake It?"
Minnie was young, but she was wise.
She smiled seraphlcally. "I'm so glad
you like the supper, Alf," she told him,
smoothly. If she had died for It she
could not have told who had really
cooked the supper she had been too
busy thinking of him and getting her
gownTeady. "Let's sit over here out
of the crowd," she added.
That was why a little later In ths
evening, when people were talking
hard and the women were trying to
forget the fatiguing evening they had
put In and mentally execrating the
serene Hetty Tuttle, that Incompetent
hostess was beaming. She was watch
ing Alf Kreeble and Minnie In the'.r
secluded corner and she could see that
Alf was holding Minnie's hand and
talking very earnestly.
Mrs. Myron Tuttle heaved a relieved
sigh at last and absently rubbed a
plump finger across the dust on top
of a bookcase. "I think," she mur
mured, "the club supper's ben an
awful fine success!" Chicago Dally
News.
JEFFRIES AS A TEXT.
I'reachrr Thlnka lie Can't "Conie
Back" and Polnte a Moral.
"Can Jeffries Come Back?" was the
title of a sermon preached by the Rev.
John Hamilton Timbrell In the Cedar
Cliff MethodlBt Episcopal church, says
the New York Sun. The preacher took
his text from the Book of Judges, and
after describing as pathetic and hu
miliating the downfall of Samson, he
said it pointed a moral to the case of
Jeffries, "Can the old-time champion
come back?" the preacher asked, and
then be said:
"This question, so far as its sporting
phase is concerned, may have little or
no interest to us save as it touches
a great fundamental principle that is
of the most profound interest to all
thinking men, and one which may lead
many of them to read what they other
wise, would not, the sporting pages of
the sporting papers, to see If Jeffries
can come back.
"What is the point in this case?
Jeffries won the belt and much lucre,
and then stepped out of the ring to
have a good time and enjoy himself,
and for five years, like Samson, with
his head In the lap of Delilah, Jeffries
has slept with his head In the lap of a
luxurious and bibulous life. While
he has slept a big black gorilla has
come Into the ring and has put the
world of sport into about the same
condition that ancient Israel was in
when Goliah of Gath M'os swaggering
about and bragging of what he could
do In the presence of the crowd that
was sore afraid to tackle him. And
the pugilistic crowd Is looking the
world over to find some champion who
can stand up to the gorilla and down
him and 'take the belt, which means
about the same thing to these modern
heathen as the wreath of laurel meant
to the ancient heathen In the Corin
thian games. And with desperation In
their glance they turn to Jeffries with
this question, which means far more
than a laurel wreath to them: 'Can
Jeffries come back?'
"A noted athletic trulner has given
them his unbiased opinion. He Is one
of the best authorities on athletic
training. And it is not reassuring to
tho crowd who are so eager to bet
their shekels on Jeff. He says: 'It
makes no difference whether a man Is
a runner, Juniper, fighter, ball player
or participant In any other branch of
sport. If he stops training for three or
four years he can never regain his
lost form.' Furthermore he says: 'I
have never seen an exception to the
rule.'
"Hack of this statement of the
trainer and looking out upon us
though, it Is a great fundamental prin
ciple that Is as solemn as the day of
judgment, a principle that will be
found to hold everywhere in the uni
verse of !otl, the niotiii'ntousness of
which may cause us for the time being
to overlook the fai t that our attnaio.i
U called to it through the malodor
ous channel of Ibe piifillistlc ring.''
Motherly.
' Well, Ktlle, dear, 1 hope ou''e been
a little mother to your brother while
I've been out?'
"Ob. yes, 1 have. I've rmacked him
quite a lot!" London Opinion.
Painting is more of a habit with
tome wouieu than art is with an artUL
SAVE YOUNG W0MA1L
Tl
A Japanese-American version of an
ancient Greek myth Is indeed a piece
of literature. In some correspondence
of Lafcadlo Hearn, published recently
In the Atlantic Monthly, there Is quoted
such a composition, warranted to be
genuine. It was written by a native of
Japan in an examination paper.
Tlthonus was a youth very band'
some and polite.
Aurora was the rosy-fingered God
dess of the Dawn a very fine young
lady with rosy fingers.
She was used to get up in the earlier
morning every day, and she was very
studious.
She follen in love to Tlthonus, and
by her chariot taked him up to the
sky.
One day she ask him that "Sir, I
can give you all thing you want." Then
he ask to her that "Please give me
the eternal life."
Hoping to enjoy the eternal life of
her husband, Aurora ask to Zeus, Fath
er of all the Gods;
And soon the eternal life was bestow
on Tlthonus.
But Aurora forget to request for the
eternal youth; therefore Tlthonus have
the only eternal life.
Gods have the eternallty of youth as
well as life.
Tlthonus came to become thirty or
fourty years of age.
He became every day more old.
He become TOTALLY old.
And felt the mlseratlon of this life
To the last desire he begged the God
to make hirn a glasshopper and to hop
on the ground.
So for pity the God changed him Into
a glasshopper, which could hop about
our world.
And he Is hop about the ground even
now, and bears the dry looking.
So from a man becomed the husband
of the Goddess, and then to be changed
into a vile worm!
This should teach us well to ask
never the Inconsistent things.
Knowledge That Ia Power.
The world Is full of people who
know a great deal but cannot use their
knowledge. They are weighted down
with unavailable facts and theories,
says Orison Swett Marsden In Suc
cess Magazine. You have often met
people who seem to know much, who
are so encyclopedic In their greedy ab
sorption of facts, that their general
knowledge -is like an enormous pack
on a soldier's back, which exhausts
his vitality and impedes his march.
It makes them heavy of foot and clum
sy in everything they do. They im
press you as not being large enough
to swing their loads and carry them
with ease. They are like children
tugging away at great pieces of furni
ture which they can scarcely lift.
It is not the ability, the education,
the knowledge that one has that makes
the difference between men. The mere
possession of knowledge Is not always
the possession of power; knowledge
which has not been digested and as
similated and become a part of your
self, knowledge which cannot swing
into line In an emergency, is of little
use, and will not save you at a critical
moment.
To be effective, a man's education
must become a part of himself, as he
goes along. All of It must be worked
up Into power. A little practical edu
cation that has become a part of one's
being and is always available will ac
complish more in the world than
knowledge far more extensive that
cannot be utilized.
Alakkan Glaelrr.
An interesting fact about Alaskan
glaciers Is that some are "dead" and
others are "alive." Davidson glacier,
which Is really a tongue of the Mulr
glacier, has been ascended by travel
ers for u number of years. It Is a
dead glacier, having a moraine of sev
eral miles between it and the sea.
Looking at It from tho boat, it repre
sents a Kaleidoscopic appearance as
the sun shines upon It, and the sur
face seems scratched with tiny pin
lines. These are in reality deep crev
ices, r. hlch mast be iipprnacht'd cau
tiously, for they are lurking pitfalls
for the unwary. Vancouver Provi
dence. Oue tin lliin.
"Pardon nie," said a gentleman at
the entrance to a downtown restau
rant. "I have something on you."
"And may I ask what it is?"
"My hat" Birmingham Age-Herald.
j; A JAPANESE-GREEK FABLE.
WHERE TEXAS WILL BANK.
At Prornl Hale of Incrrnw It Will
Bp Ihlril Anions; "tatea.
If Malnp. say, or Iowa, or even 1111-
C( Is, were to gain 2,T.00,0(iO new inhab
itants in a single decade the fact would
ue readily noticeable by one who dwelt
here.
Here In Texas, where only 24.500.000
fides out of a total of 141,372,000 acres
litis ever been brought within the "cul-
Ivated area," Including lands used for
pasture, the vast army of newcomers
scatters and Is lost to stsht like water
that sink" into sand, Collier's snys.
This, perhaps, accounts for the native
Texan's reluctance to credit the start
ing estimate of gain made by the state
Apartment of education. He has seen
all of the principal cities of the state
double their size since 1000, nnd he is
prnscious that the acreage of farm
Innds under cultivation Is steadily en
larging, but he does not frequently en
counter the newcomers In his accus
tomed walks and he cannot believe
Ihey are all here.
If the plate's estimate for 1909 be
orrect Texas should rank third among
the states in population in the federal
census of 1P10. led only by New York
and Pennsylvania. And if the migra
tion Into Texas between 1910 and 1920
continues in anything like Its pres
ent volume the largest of the states
should also be the most populous ten
years hence.
Nine hundred miles from north to
south. 1,100 miles from east to west,
with elevations ranging from sea level
to over 8,000 feet, Texas, as she ought
within so great an area, ofTers the
home seeker all conceivable varieties
of climate and soil products. The vir
gin soil, with its promise of exemption
from the need to use fertilizers for
two or three generations, appeals pow
erfully to the old farmers of the mid
dle western states.
SHORT METER SERMONS.
If we fail to believe the right ideas,
we will fail to do right acts, and re
peated failure to act rightly lead3 to a
sinful character. Rev. W. Horace
Day, Congiegationalist, Los Angeles.
We need to purify the spiritual at
mosphere of the homes of our country,
so that the children may learn to know
God and be trained for His service.
Rev. A. R. Holderby, Methodist, At
lanta. The apostles and the early church
drew comfort from the oathbound
covenant, and this same comfort be
longs to every true Christian down to
the end of this age. Rev. C. F. Rus
sell, Congregatlonalist, Cincinnati.
God is the author of the natural
life; He is the creator of the spiritual
life. He sustained the natural life by
outward means. In similar manner He
sustains the spiritual life. Rev. F. P.
Siegfried, Roman Catholic, Philadel
phia. There Is nothing fairer than a beau
tiful woman. No sunset or sunrise,
no flower that blooms is to be com
pared to the fair and beautiful form
fashioned by the hand of God in femi
nine lines and proportions. Rev. E. L.
Powell, Christian, Louisville.
Evolution has never been the origi
nating, creating or commanding pow
er. Human thought never advanced
so far as to get away from the first
statement In the book. "In the begin
ning God created." Rev. W. F. Day,
Congregatlonalist, Los Angeles.
To be a Christian means to meet
the experiences of life with a calm
serenity, and to move ever toward the
sunset with sweetness of heart, with
sublimity of life conception in tbe
furtherance of the spiritual queBt.
Rev. Dr. Wllkins, Episcopalian, Los
Angeles.
The strongest nations to-day are the
Christian nations. The most glorious
martyrs have been Christian men and
women. The brightest force In the
world to-day is Chrlstanity, and the
noblest manhood is found in the
church. Rev. G. R. Edmundson, Pres
byterian, Denver.
Faith in himself ia a necessity for
any young man. He should not pity
himself nor allow anyone else to do so,
but with the knowledge that God Is on
his side, and that if he does right he
should be able to face all life's battles
bravely. Rev. W. L. Rutledge, Metho
dist, London, Can.
The man who has grown reflective,
and is content to do the will of God,
will soon discover that so far from
death of the great and good militating
against the love of God, it proves that
love, for without death there can be
no social progress. Rev. H. D. Hlllls,
Congregatlonalist, Brooklyn.
No matter what men's passions may
dictate or society decide, the Christian
must remember that marriage is a
sacrament, instituted by Christ to con
fer grace upon the married couple that
they may save their souls and bring
up their children In the love and fear
of God. Bishop Conaty, Roman Catho
lic, Los Angeles.
Una by a oae.
"Bernard Shaw," said a dramatlt
critic, "a, ways does the original thing.
I went to jee 'Caesar and Cleopatra'
with him once, and as we stood in
the aisle the house was crowded a
stranger behind us persisted in pok
ing his head right over Shaw's shoul
der. "Shaw then did the original thing.
Taking out his handkerchief, he wiped
the man's noe, patting and twisting
it pretty vigorously.
"The man, with an ugly oath, jerk
td buck bis bead.
" Oh, I beg your pardon,' snid
Sli-iw. '1 thoaivlil it is mine, you
kno'v ' " Wasl'.iiirton Star.
A Mail ol' tl-nv.
Many ears ao in Lugland met
could easily be found to give any evi
dence upon oi'.lh tht'.t milit be re-ipim-d.
ant .-e:a" of these poisons
walked opt ;;ly in W estminster hall
with a sttaw in one of their shoes to
signify they wanted employment as
witnesses. This was the origin of the
saying, "He is a man of straw." Utit
the custom has high antiquity. A
writer in the Quarterly Review says
that such wtre common In Greece.
There is never much disposition t
kick about the otUer fellow's taxes.
Stella - Two Is company and three
Is Bella Dlvorca. The Sun.
Teacher How many make a mil
lion, Johnny? Johnny Not many.
"Ever had appendicitis?" "No.
There ain't never been a time when I
could afford it." Detroit Free Press.
Barber - Have anything on your face
when I get through, sir? VlcUm
Some skin mid a nose, I hope. Boston
Transcript.
George Do you think that I'm good
enough for you, darling? Darling
No, George; but you're too good for
any other girl.
"The chicken stew has two prices
In the bill of fare. How is that, wait
er?" "With chicken in it, it is 30
cents, without it, 10."
Mother (looking over her boy's
6houlder) Your spelling Is perfectly
terrible. Little Son This ain't a spell
in' lesson. It's a composition.
Politician Congratulations, Sarah;
I've been elected. Sarah (with de
light) Honestly? Politician What
difference does that make? St. Loula
Times.
The Father Did mamma punish,
you to-day, Tommie? The Boy Yes,
sir. "What did she do?" "Made me
Btay In the house while she was tak
ing her singing lesson!"
"They are going to lock Jones up for
the good of the community." "What's
he done?" "He's talking of setting
Browning's poems to Rlcnard Strauss'
music." Cleveland Leader.
The Man No, I don't suppose that
t shall ever marry. I'm .too shy, don't
you know, and "faint heart ne'er won.
fair lady." The Girl (helping hi.m on),
But I'm not fair; I'm dark.
"Why," asked a Missouri newspaper,
'does our State stand at the head iu
raising mules?" "Because," said aa
Iowa paper, "that is the only safe
place to stand." Jack O'Lantern.
Teacher If you wear one pair ot
ihoes three months, how long will two
pairs last? Jimmle A year. Teach
er Oh, no; how do you get that?
limmie I don't wear any In the sum
aier. "Yes, I do .most of my work at night
low." "What's the reason?" "Why,
I'm a Wileyite and cook my food four
-ours, and being a Fletcherlte it takes
Be three hours to eat." Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Wlfey Do you think there Is a man
:hat could conscientiously say to hia
'ife, "You are the only woman I ever
oved?" Hubby Only one that I can
:hink of. "Who? You, dearest?" "Oh,
jo, Adam." Spare Moments.
A woman went to a bank. She no
:iced that there was a new face be
nind the window. "Has the cashier
5one away to take a rest?" she en
juired. "No," replied the new man;
'he has gone away to avoid It."
"How do you extract women's teeth
s-ithout their screaming? You don't
jive gas." "But my office is opposite
1 millinery display. When the worn
n get absorbed in looking at the hats
:hey're oblivious to pain." Kansas
Zlty Times.
Young Lady (on first visit to West
ern ranch) For what purpose do you
jse that coll of line on your saddle?
owpuncher That line, as you call
it, lady, we use for catching cattle
nd horses. Young Lady I dare say.
Now, may I ask what do you use for
bait.
The new housemaid had just opened
he door in response to Wigglesby's
ring. "Is Miss Darborough In?" asked
Wigglesby. "Yes, sorr, she's in sorr,
but she's engaged," said the maid.
"Yes, I know," smiled Wigglesby. "I'm
what she's engaged to." Harper's
Weekly.
"Then you don't think I practice
what I preach, eh?" queried the min
ister in talking with one of the de.v
cons. "No, sir. I don't," replied the
deacon. "You've been preachin' on ths
subject of resignation for two yean
an' ye haven't resigned yet." Ladles'
Home Journal.
Tubb Old boy, I want to congratu
late you on your speech at the banquet
last night. O'Sudds (after waiting a
moment) I know you do, pard, and
you're awfully sorry you can't do it
truthfully. I appreciate the effort,
just the same. Nasty weather, isn't
it? Chicago Tribune.
Mrs. A. I do love lobster, but I
never have them at home, because 't
seems so inhuman to kill them by put
ting them in a kettle of boiling wa
ter. Mrs. B. Gracious! I never kill
them that way. It would be too hor
rible; I always put them on In cold
water and let them come to a boil.
"I regret very much that we cannot
use. your story," said the magazine
editor, handing back the manuscript
"it's astonishing how much really good
literature we are compelled to decline."
"It's more astonishing, though," said
the disgruntled author of the story,
"that you never let any of It get into
your magazine." Chicago Tribune.
Little Nelly told little Anita what
she termed a "little fib." Anita A
fib is the same as a story, and a story
is the same as a lie. Nelly No, it's
not. Anita Yes, It is, because ,:ny fa
ttier said so, and my father Is a pro
fessor at the university. Nelly I
don't tare if he is. My father I a
real estate man, and ho knows more
about lying than your father.
Itiilher !'nr:iiloIeul.
"One thing always puzzled nie about
a parliamentary proceeding."
"What is that?"
"How a nun can be so acrobatic as
to be the ihairman of a standing cool'
mil tee." Baltimore American.
J1 ii In re.
"The ease of this time I am having
is like takiug candy from a buby."
"Then you are having a howling
time." Baltimore American.
Flirtation is attention without 1
teatloo.