GOOD SHORT
STORIES
Before dinner, at the house of a
rich banker, in Florence, Colonel (af
terward the Karl of) Dundas had Bald
Bonip sharp things about the crudities
of Americans. Notwithstanding this
rudeness, It fell to his lot to take Mme.
Bonaparte (Betsy Patterson) In to ta
ble, lie Impertinently nuked Mme.
Bonaparte if she had read Basil Hall's
book on America. In which he pro
nounced all Americans vulgarians.
"Yes, Colonel Dundas," she answered,
"but It did not surprise me In the
least. If my compatriots were descend
ed from the Italians or Spanish, any
display of low breeding might astonish
cm', but being the direct descendants of
Englishmen, It Is natural enough that
they should be vulgarians."
Commercial travelers find most of
the natural curiosities alon.; the lines
of travel. Thin Is a story told by one
after a trip through Southern Canada,
"lie ins Impatient to net out of a sleepy
little town I ascertained the time of
tlie outgoing train and hurried down
to the station. After a while an ob
ject slowly emerged from the distance
and slunk up alongside. I boarded the
solitary coach, and after a tedious wait
the engine began to gasp feebly, the
old coach creaked a little, but the train
did not move. I was about to get out
to see what was the matter when the
forward door of the coach was sudden
ly flung open and a head popped in.
'Hey, you,' said the engineer, leering at
me, 'climb off till I git a start, will
y.;...
On the first night of the representa
tion of one of Jerrold's pieces, a suc
cessful adapter from the French ral
lied him on his nervousness. "I," said
the adapter, "never feel nervous an
the first night of my pieces." "Ah,
tny boy," Jerrold replied, "you are al
ways certain of success. Your pieces
have all been tried before." He was
seriously disappointed with a certain
book written by one of his friends.
This friend heard that Jerrold had ex
pressed hi3 disappointment, and ques
tioned him: "I hear you said
was the worst book I ever wrote." "No,
I didn't," came tha answer; "I said it
was the worst, book anybody ever
wrote." Of a mistaken philanthropist,
Jerrold said he was "so benevolent, so
merciful a man he would have held
an umbrella over a duck in a shower
of rain."
A certain lady In Paris gives peri
odical dinners, at which assemble most
of the best-known wits and literati of
the day. The rule of the mansion is
that while one person discourses, no
interruption whatever can be permit
ted. It Is Bald that M. Ilenan once at
tended one of these dinners, and, being
In excellent vein, talked without a
creak during tbo whole repast. To
ward the end of the dinner, a guest
was heard to commence a sentence;
but ho was Instantly silenced by the
hostess. After they had left the table,
however, she at once informed the ex
tinguished Individual that, as M. Re
nan had now finished his conversation,
she would gladly hear what he had to
say. The guest .modestly declined; th
hostess insisted. "I am certain it was
something of consequence," she said.
"Alas, madame," he answered, "It was,
Indeed; but now It is too late! I should
have liked a little more of that iced
pudding."
AUTO PACING BY COWBOYS.
I nnrlltrD Hole IVhleli Are Itlitldlr
f'.nforpod In Western Tea.
There are certain unwritten rules
that must be rigidly observed by auto
mobilists in the ranch region of west
cm Texas, a Brady (Tex.) dispatch to
the New York Sun says. The joy
rider soon comes to grief In this part
of the country.
The automobile is In general use In
the range territory, but the cowboys
do not permit any undue liberties to
he taken In running the machines.
The shooting up of automobiles by
cowboys is a common practice. This
method of bringing an automobile to
a stop Is not used unless the cowboy
thinks that he has not been treated
with proper consideration.
An instance occurred near Brady a
few days ago. Hick Davis started
from here on a thirty-mile trip to his
ranch in Concho County. He was driv
ing his automobile himself and had no
passenger. lie was in a hurry to
reach the ranch and did not observe
the rules of thn road as laid down In
this part of the country.
Ho was spinning along at a high
epeed when he came upon a drove of
mules In charge of a man on horse
hack, who carried a rifle In a scabbard.
Instead of bringing the automobile to
a step when he came upon the mules
Mr. Davis sped right past them, caus
ing a stampede. A moment later three
qaVck reports of a rifle were heard
and tho automobile's two rear tires
collapsed.
"The bullets knocked the machine
completely out of commission," Mr,
Davis said In telling of the affair.
The .man with the mules got his stray
animals together and continued with
them rU'ht down the road. I knew
that lni was right, so I didn't try to
round him up."
A man from Ohio opened a real es
tate otllce :it Sweetwater recently and
bought a big automobile In which to
convey customers over the country.
He bad an xpcrlence on his first trip
that taught it 1 in a lesson.
lie bad four Missouri land prospector-,
in bis automobile and was on the
way to look at some land about forty
miles south of Hn'iiTwal'T. In order
to make a short cut to the property ho
was crossing a big pasture. In Die
di.-'nnce could be seen large numbers
of cat'le whirh were being driven by
o in. s.
"None of ou men ever saw a cattle
round up. did you?" inquired the real
estate di.iler.
'1 here was a horus of answers iu
th" negative.
"Well, that's what's going on over
there. I'll just run you over to the
lilace and we'll watch 'em a while."
The automobile was headed In the
direction of the gathering herd of cat
tle and eoon attracted the attention of
the cowboys. They gesticulated at the
auto, but the signs were not under
stood by those at whom they were di
rected. The cattle were beginning to
snort and were on the verge of a stam
pede when two of the cowboys pulled1
their six shooters and began to Are at
the automobile. The bullets whizzed
around the wheels.
"Here!" yelled one of the land pros
pectors to the real estate dealer, "got
us out of here quick!"
The real estate ciian wanted to get
away from the scene as badly as his
companions and ho lost no time in
turning the automobile around and
splnnlns away as fast as the machine
could go.
Many of the ranch bronchos are not
used to automobiles, and when one of
these animate Is being ridden by a
cowboy nnd comes upon an automobile
In the road the chauffeur who knows
th customs of the region stops and
keeps the machine quiet until the
horse and rider have gone by and aro
a safe distance on the other side.
I
THE UPSTART.
As a medical missionary, stationed
for sixteen years in northwestern In
dia, near the Afghanistan frontier, Dr.
T. L. Pennell had his share of peril
and adventure, which ho has recently
recounted in a volume entitled,
"Among the Wild Tribes of the Af
ghan Border."
As a medical man, Dr. Pennell had
his tips aud downs with the native
doctors, who sweat their patients and
burn sores with lighted oil, but have
no faith in Western treatment. They
also bleed and purge; but gradually
the new-fangled treatment was accept
ed, and grateful converts were made
at the Bannu dispensary.
As a missionary. Dr. Pennell had
to contend with the mollahs, who are
rgumentatlve and great browbeaters:
and very often, he confesses, he got
the worst of It by verdict of tho rag
ged crowd that hemmed in the theo
logians.
With a certain mollah. who regard
ed the Christian medicine-man ns a
rival, Dr. Pennell had an amusing en
counter.
"Do you know," asked the mollah,
what becomes of the sun when it set3
every day?"
The doctor gave the native circle tho
scientific explanation.
"Rubbish!" exclaimed the mollah.
We all know that the fires of hell
are under the earth, and that the sun
passes down every night, and there
fore comes up blazing hot In the morn
ing."
All Dr. Pennell's accounts of natur
al phenomena were ridiculed by the
mollah. Then, turning to his neonlo.
he said, with contempt In his face and
voice:
"It la evident that I shall have to
teach him everything from the begin
ning."
LAST OF THE STAGE COACHES.
One I'aeil for nrrylim I'nnaenKera
In lOarly Duy of 'i'exu.
After standing In the alley west of
Patterson's livery stable since 1873 the
stage coach Sam Houston was torn
to pieces recently and the timber cast
In a waste heap, says the Austin
Statesman. The Sam Houston was
tho victim of city legislation, it hav
ing been ordered moved from the al
ley, but being in such a dilapidated
condition It could not be moved, 'lne
coach was torn to pioces and another
relic of the early Texas days has pass
ed into history.
If the old stage coach could talk it
could tell of some hair-raising events
that would probably .make the "blood
and thunder" stories look like 30 cents
Mex. It made its first run between
Austin and Brenham In the year 1841,
when Texas was filled with Indians
and bad men. Six and eight mules
were driven to the old coach, six be
ing driven In good weather and eight
Iu muddy weather.
Ia its day tho Sam Houston was
the scene of many a fight and hold
up. T ie wood was marked in numer
ous places by bullet holes, which were
all that remained in history of many
of the fights in which the coach was
the center of battle. Guards were al
ways carried along wlin the coa"h In
the early days to prevent Indian at
tacks and hold-ups by bad men who
wanted to rob the mail.
Some time ago a movement was
started to have the Sam Houston pre
served as a historic relic of early
Texas days, but the inove failed to
bear fruit and now it is too late.
The Sam Houston made its last run
from San Antonio to Austin in 1873.
It was abandoned and had to get out of
the way, for the railroad took its place,
and now it had to be taken out of tne
alley because It was deemed unsightly
and in the way.
S el f-f 'o ii 1 e in n el ,
The story below, found in the Kl
mini Advertiser, Is a homely illustra
tion of the power of suggestion. An
Iowa farmer employed a boy to guard
his strawberry patch from birds. The
berries fancy fruit, as big as pinches
kept disappearing, and the man be
gan to suspect the boy of eating them.
So one morning be vi-dtod the patch,
ami looking It over, said:
"1 know you don't tou h these ber
ries, my lad, but '.' says you do.
To-day I'll test you -ja-l to convince
'.eke that h"'s w ron;'."
lb' took out a small lamp of chalk
aiil pre tend, d to chalk the boy's Hps;
buL iva'.ly ll was only his liu-.,. r that
he rubbed over them.
"Now," said he, "when 1 come down
this afternoon we'll .see who is right,
Zeko or I."
And with apparent, carelessness ho
tossed the chalk on the ground.
On his return some hours later it
was plain who was right. The boy's
Hps were ch.il:. -d with a thick, white,
it iff layer.
V l ull of Hie Itltilil Klmt.
' poii'l despise the failures," said
the quaint philosopher. 'ICveu the
little tumbles of lite are not all bad.
For Instance, I once knew a worthies
fellow who foil into a fortunt,"
ff7C2sl
k-i 'jU ' - v ;,v
rr'FDAY, July 1, 1SD9, reports reached
Honolulu, Hawaiian Islands, that the vol
cano of MaVuaweoweo, situated at the
summit of Mauna I,oa, 13,675 feet high, on
tho Island of Hawaii, had burst forth with
all the fury of years gone by. I left with
the inteutlon of reaching the scene of ac
H
tion, writes Frank Davey, by the most difficult route of
all right over the great mountain from the Kona side.
The obstacles to be overcome may perhaps be imagined
when I state that Mauna L,o 1b a volcanic mountain,
uenrly 14,000 feet high.
It was with great difficulty that I managed to get
horses and mules from the natives, who knew the con
U tie i of the country, for the animals inevitably get
K-idU knocked about, their legs being terribly cut by
the lava. A number of gentlemen arrived and expressed
their desire to join me in the expedition. The first part
of the journey was one or the most delightful rides I
ever had. We rode for hours through magnificent trop
ical growths. There were giant ferns, fconie of which
must have been thirty or forty feet high aud three feet
In diameter, groves of guavas, coconuts and other
fruits, miles ot wild mint and bright-colored flowers,
and orchids of most delicate shapes. At dusk we
reached the edge of the timber line, in a drenching
rain.
We resumed our journey at daybreak, over tho most
terrible country that can be imagined. We reached tho
summit just, as It was getting dark. Near the center ot
the mountain top an area of about four square miles
sinks to a depth of 1,000 feet. This is the great crater
of Makuaweoweo.
We found that the worst outbreak was about 5,000
feet further down the mountain side. Walking across
the congealed masses or lava, one began to think that
at any moment one was liable to drop through to the
most horrible of deaths. Underneath one was a bottom
less abyss of mud, sulphur aud rock; and to contemplate
being cast into that fearsome looking lake of lire and
brimstone was not at all comfortable. Presently we
reached a cone where the lava had piled up to the
height .of about 100 feet, then, bursting out at tho side,
disappeared Into the ground, to reappear about a quar
ter of a mile farther down and repeat its action. These
cones averaged 200 feet in height, and we passed five
"dead" ones. A sixth was still smoking, but was not
active. No. 7 was belching forth huge volumes
of steam and sulphur. Boulders that must have weighed
a ton were being hurled high into the air as if shoe
from a cannon. Others followed to meet those coining
down, aud as they met they burst like explosive shells,
scattering molten matter on all sides. Tills flowed
down the incline in cascades like water, showing red,
yellow, blue and all the colors of the rainbow.
It. Is impossible to describe the grandeur of the ef
fect, and a knowledge of the force that was causing the
display made one feel very small Indeed. Some of the
ejected masses were as large as a horse, and when they
HABRIMAN, THE BUILDER.
Some of the tireat Achievement. n
the Honda lie Controlled.
K. H. Harrlman was one of the
greatest railroad reconstructionlsts
this country has known. When he
took over the Union, Central and
Southern Pacific he foresaw that the
entire lines would have to be rebuilt.
He put his whole energy Into the task
of expending many millions of dollars
for that purpose; some say $20,000,
000. Ho straightened out crooks and
curves; tunneled mountains at their
bases, where the roads formerly went
over them; put steel viaducts nnd
bridges across ravines and streams;
reduced grades, built excellent road
beds and placed on them the heaviest
steel rails.
Starting at the east end of the sys
tem, the new double structural steel
bridge across tho Missouri river be
tween Council Bluffs and Omaha Is
considered one of the finest railway
structures of its kind extant.
Greatest, perhaps, of all the achieve
ments to which Mr. Harrlman devoted
his personal attention and effort Is the
Luein cut off, crossing Great Salt lake.
This structure crosses the Inland sea,
with an average depth of thirty feet,
cutting out forty-four miles of the for
mer line around the lake nnd 1,515
feet of elevation, or grade, There were
3,000 men engaged day and night in
building it. It required 38,250 trees,
from 100 to 200 feet high, to create the
piling of the trestlework, twenty-three
miles long. Eleven miles of this trestle
were filled in with several big hills,
or binall mountains, torn down by
ll.M.UI MAN.
seven ton scoops. One soft spot ate up
$200,000 in rocks before it solidified;
that is, it iot;t that amount to bla.t
load an dtransport tin; rocks.
Four miles of solid earth bed const!
I tute the approach to the west end of
the trestle. The top of tho cutoff is
sixteen feet. wide. The floor "f tin.
tres tlo makes It Invisible ft out tin
trains. It U a rover of solid a' phalt
overlaid with granite, resting on heavy
beams. The structure Is grudule s, and
cost $1,500,000.
Mr. Harrlman was also engaged in
many oilier taka during tlie three
v 4 w's
E. II.
'.9
THE FIRST DAY
f5"
I am C years old. It Is my first day in school. It is all so strange, I
guess I want to go home right off. The boys all stare and stare. The girls
all smile nnd smile. The room is so big. There la such a lot of books and
desks and chairs. There Is such a big crowd. They say I will not bo let go
home for two hours. I know my A B C. Ma taught me. But there Is a
great big lot in all them books, and I have got to learn it nil. Then they
will teach me out of some more big books, years and years, and when I
am as big as Ma, I will be done with school. Oh! the world Is so big! It
takes so long to grow up- I am such a wee thing In this big crowd of boys
and girls I feel lost. 1 want my Ma. I want to go home. Now, I guess I
will cry. Detroit Times.
years be was building the cut-off. lie
Mulghtened the Central Pacific Hail
way by cutting out SCO miles of
curves; knocked out 3,100 feet of alti
tudes, or grades; constructed thirty
six steel bridges across ravines, can
yons and streams, and i'.iik four tun
nels two miles long, reducing the time
seven hours on (hat line.
When I ,os Angeles needed a port on
the Pacific, while steamships could
connect with his trains, Mr. Ilarrimau
built a gnat rock wharf, curving far
out Into the o'-ean, to battle suce-:s-fully
with gigantic waves ami afford a
haibor of refuge, lie also const ruled
a similar and even greater ne-k wharf
.'il San Pedro, Cal.
A "Sort of onalii."
The lawyer ec.d the woman In the
witness-box In p.'i nt desjair. Then,
on the authority of a writ, r In the
I let roll. News, he rallied vieiM.V.
"You sav, madam," he be1.: in. "that
the defendant. I; a 'sort of relation' of
yours. Will you please, explain what
you meiMi by thai - Just how you are
related to the defendant?"
"Well, It's like this." replied the wit
ness, beaming u;ou the court. "Ills
were belched ferth were ht a white best. They wont
so high that they had time to cool and return to the
vortex black.
The wind chsnged, and to our consternation we saw
a t loud of sulphur blowing right across our path. These
masses of vapor are so impregnated with sulphur and
poisonous gases that It is impossible for any living
thing to exist among them, and to get caught in their
midst means death. Alarmed, wo started to go around
on the other side, but found the lava was too hot We
kept on until the lava began to move under our feet,
and then made a number of attempts to pass that dead
ly barrier of vapor, but were forced to return each time,
nearly suffocated. Just at this critical moment I hap
pened to turn round and saw an arch, as It were, in the
Gslphur smoke, where the wind was blowing It up from
the ground. We had scarcely got through that arch
of clear air when down came the cloud again.
Once past the danger point, we crawled along at our
best pace. It was now night, and the only light we had
was the lurid glare from the volcano. If It had not been
for this we should undoubtedly havo perished of cold
and thirst, as we should have been compelled to stop
walking. As It was, we dared not halt for any length
of time, or we should not have had warmth enough to
keep the blood circulating. All that night we crawled
over the tetrlblo lava. We fell down at Intervals of
alx.ut twenty feet, often breaking through the black
crust, sometimes up to our waists, cutting ourselves on
the sharp projection until our hands nnd legs wero
woefully lacerated. Almost as soon a3 we fell wo
dropped asleep; then, as we got colder, we would wake
up and force ourselves on again for a few dozen yards
or so, only to fall asleep, wake and struggle up onco
more.
At last It began to get light, but still we had come
across no water, and that In our canteens had long
since been exhausted. We hunted the depths and crev
ices o' the lava, sometimes going down ten or fifteen
leit, looking for water, only to be disappointed again
and again.
Suddenly I saw a break in the l.iva nearly full of
beautiful water. I leaned over tho side, holding tho
canteen for a companion to fill. He went down a few
feet, and then stopped. I motioned to him to fill the
bottle, croaking, "Water." lie did not look around, but
mumbled, "I see no water," as if in a dream. Picking
up a piece of lava, I tossed it down and cried, hoarsely,
"There is the water!" Hut to my astonishment tho
pebble went down, down, out of sight, with no souud
of a splash, into a fathomless abyss. The crevice was
so deep that we could not see the bottom, and the shock
of the discovery made me faint.
After a time we scrambled on again until we came
upon n guide sitting upon the edge of a high crack, eat
ing, frozen snow; and tearing It with his teeth. Wo
followed his example, not without pain, but the snow
tasted good. The Journey home was, comparatively
speaking, easy, but the memory of that night amidst
the lava will last me to my dying day.
AT SCHOOL.
first wile's cousin and my second cous
in's first wife's aunt married brother!
named Jones, and they were cousins
to my mother's aunt. Then again, his
grandfather on his mother's side and
my grandfather on my mother's side
were second cousins, and his step
mother married my husband's step
father after his father and my mother
died, and his brother Joe and my hus
band's brother Harry married twin
sisters. I nln't ever liggen d out Just
how close related wo are, but I've al
ways looked on him ns a sort of cous
in." "Quite i i;;!it," nr. .( riled tbo lawyer,
feebly.
A liiiatl.jii,
"Are the colors last iu that new tub
suit 1 bought, Jane'.'"
"That depends on how you look at
it, ma'am."
"What do you mean, Jane?"
"Well, when I went to wash it I'd
call '(in fast the way them colors
ran."- - lialllmoru American.
A new popular wedding song la en
titled "If I But Know." Heavens!
that Is why Uie ceremony goes on; be
cause neither ouu knows.
STRANGE STORY OF A POET.
Hamuli, Half-Mad Frenchman
with a Tonrh of (Irnlnt,
It is not always that a poet's genius
Ii acknowledge,! during his lifetime.
and It Is rarer still for the acknowl
edgment to be made known to the
poet. This bas Just occurred In Paris
under the auspices of the review La
Pootlque and a brilliant committee of
men and women of letters, who have
succeeded In making the voice of Hu
mllls heard as a cry of love for love's
sake.
"Savior Aimer" ("To Know How to
Love") Is tho title of the book contain
ing the verses, tays the (ientlewoman,
which would havo been lost but for
t'ae memory of a zealous friend. Count
I.eonce ds t.armamlle.
Thirty years ago Ilunillls was a
clerk In the ministry of public works,
tddo by sl.le with two Bohemian spir
its, I.oonee do I.armnndle and Camllle
de Palnte-Crolx. Ilnmllls left the of
fice In consequence of a duel with a
comrade who had burned the door.
"The door." said Ilnmllls, "is my
servant. I cannot allow my servant to
be outraged!"
This speech was tho starting point of
tho madness th:it developed later.
Some time after this Incident M. de
Ijirnumdle met Ilnmllls writing verses
on a barrack wall, revolt Int? verses but
revealing a mind of no ordinary power.
That same night the poet recited hU
work to his friend nnd gave him the
manuscript that his now made him
famous.
With a madman's tenacity he for
bade the copying of his work and in
sisted on having it returned to him
ns promised without having It shown
to any one. The poems fired tho Imag
ination of M. do Larmandls and he
learned them by heart, thus saving
them from destruction, for the orig
inal manuscript has disappeared,
burled perhnvs In some hole In Alx,
the poet's birthplace.
During several years he led the life
f a saint, walking during fourteen
months barefooted from one pilgrim-
go to anotliT, from Prance to Spain, 1
from Spain to Italy, living on nuts
nnd fruits and the bread of rhnrlty.
For a while he disappeared. Ills
friends made Inquiries, and at last the
Information rpini from AIx In Pro
vence that the man they sought was a
beggir on tho steps of the' cathedral.
For eight years ho had begged and
made sufficient to keep himself alive
tenpence a day, said the police. For
they knew him well, with his long
beard, his monk's dress, a cross In
cloth upon his breast. They also knew
his name, but for many reasons It Is
not made public and he will be IIu
mllls forever, ns Verlalne la Verlaine
and Villlers de l'lslo Adam and Mai
larme are known the "accursed
poets," as Ilumills called them, be
?ause they were unrocogntzed.
KHEDIVE AS A FAMILY MAN'
Excepting; Ills Opposition to the
Harem, I a !Moo Mouamnieilna.
In the middle of the day the ruler
af Egypt lunches with the only woman
who has ever sustained to him the re
lation of wife, the Paris Figaro says.
His highness could, were he so In
clined, allow himself the complement
of four wives affected by the pious ef
feudi of .he land. He has none the
less remained strictly monogamous.
Tho one wife dwells In strict seclu
sion on the khedlvlal domain ot Keub
beh except for occasional visits to the
great Abdln palace at Cairo. She is a
Qreok with Circassian blood, some five
years younger than the khedlve he la
nearlng 40 and exquisitely beautiful.
It does not appear that any European
or American of the male sex evor
gazed upon the features of this lady.
She Is the mother of six children, live
girls and a boy. The latter Is now
about 10 years of age, and, unlike the
eldest born of Mohammedan rulers
generally, he Is to Inherit his father's
Ihrone. ThlB young "prince heritor,"
as he la officially styled, quite over
shadows his sisters In Importance. The
lad Is understood to resemble his moth
er In the fairness of his skin, the slen
dernoss of his frame and the tallness
of his form.
As a family man the khedlve sets au
example which the Christian father,
ns our French contemporary observes,
might emulate with profit. The girls
study English, French, Arabic and
Turkish with the Idea, It Is said, of fit
ting them for the position of monoga
mous wives. Abbas Illlml seems to
have set his face firmly against that
plurality of wives which Is the vogue
among the wealthier of his subjects.
He will not allow a daughter of his
to become the Inmate of what is coin
cnonly understood by the term harem.
In all respects but this he has long
been famed as the most Mohanime
danly pious of potentates, for his ori
sons aro performed with infinite fer
vor and an undevlatlng regularity. The
five daughters receive from tholr moth
er a training which, from the point of
view of the Mohammedan faith, is or
thodox enough, but their father de
viates markedly from Mohammedan
Ideals In his relations with his son.
This boy is to be brought up with the
dynastic conception strongly defined In
his education. He will bo the first
scion of Mohammedan royalty to In
herit a throne upon the formally recog
nized principle of primogeniture alone.
Ill I'lnee of llunlnemi,
Tho child who defined a mountain
range as "a large-sized cook-siovo" .iad
Imagination If not accurate informa
tion. On a test paper at thu Shefheld
Scientific School, says a writer In Ev
erybody's Magazine, an older student
made a much worse blunder.
The question road: "What Is the of
fice of the gastric Juice .
Tho answ er, no doubt si ruck off In
tho heat and hurry of tho examina
tion, was: "The stomach."
riHi'lnu the lllfiine.
Mr. Petiuiiui Poets uro born,
not
made."
Mrs. Penman Of course; go and
blame It on the poor stork!" Yonkers
Statesman.
Sunt In I'luttery.
"I made a big hit with that woman,
oil right."
"What did you say to her?"
"Nothing. I JuBt kept still and 11
teaed." LouIbvIIIo Courier-Journal.
FACTS IN TABLOID FORM.
Some authorities say the flounder 1
only a colflsh with a flattened head.
A queen bee nt tbo hlght of her
season deposits three times her weight
in eggs a day.
Australian boomerangs nnd noise
less guns are both now seen In the
same New York shop window.
In 1907 no fewer than 414,121
pounds of crude opium (for medicinal
purposes) and lal,916 pounds of smok
ing opium were Imported In this couiv
try.
Oermnny, Austria nnd Hungary have
established museums In Constantinople
for fie display of samples ot various
manufactures that Interest the Turks.
Exports of manufactures from New
Y'ork city are Increasing rapidly, and
at the present rate the total exports
of this year will not bo less than $700,
000.000 In value.
Ten years ngo the St. Paul building,
at Ann street and Broadway, was the
tallest In New York, nnd Its 303 feet
of altitude was looked on with wonder.
Now It attracts no particular atten
tion. A Swedish geologist has explained
to his government the reason for hl
piedlctlon that all the world's supply
of Iron will be exhausted In fifty
years. I.lttle more than one-tenth ot
the deposits, he says, are In the United
States.
There Is a falling off In the number
of Immigrants landing at the port of
New Y'ork. Poland nnd Italy are now
sending the most, nnd the figures show
that while 2S.213 from these countries
landed In June there were 50,411 In
May.
The value of the total output of
minerals In Alaska since 18S0, when
mining first began, la given at $148,
000,000, of which gold composed $142.
000,000; copper, $4,100,000; silver.
$1,.ri00.000; the balance representing
the value of tho marble, gypsum, tin
and coal products.
In British Columbia platinum Is
found In nnny of tho alluvial gold
workings, where It can be saved as a
by-product. The saving of It In a
small way In, however, attended with
so much trouble that It has been prac
tically neglected and no appreciable
production made recently.
I Bees wero unknown to the Indians,
but they wero brought over from Eng
land only a few" years after the land
ing of the pilgrim fathers. It was
more than two centuries after the first
white Invasion of New England, how
ever, before modern beekeeping began.
The Industry of the present day date
from tho Invention of the movable
franio hive by T.ang-.t reth. In 1852.
Flinders Petrle says men have not
advanced In deMgni;g art work or
decoration, making Jewelry or In their
ability to corr-f' ro. !:;! a' ;.:ss, and
the hum. in intellect now does Its worX
Just as It did 6,000 years ago In Egypt.
The advice of Ptnh Hotep to his soa,
6,000 years ago, reads very much like
Polonlus' lines to Ms son Laertes.
The penally for desertion from the
navy Is trial by court-martial, and In
case of conviction a sentenco for
i term of from six months to three
years, generally, and dishonorable dis
charge at the expiration of sentence.
! However, few serve full terms, but are
' restored to duty and pay and their
'; "good namo." The circumstances In
! each case determine the sentence.
I In the beginning of last century
' halibut emigrated to deeper and deep
; er water, until they are. now caught
j In depths of 150 to 350 fathoms, In
! deep sea valleys. Halibut capture cod
by stunning them with strokes of the
' tall. The roe of a 350-pound halibut
! weighed forty-four pounds, was over
I two feet long and contained more
than 2,000,000 eggs, enys Prof. David
Starr Jordan.
Dr. Cardamltls says Infancy less
than a year old has a higher tendency
to malaria than any other age. Ma
larial children's blood should be kept
disinfected with quinine, as they are
the main carriers of malaria. Mos
quitoes catch It from malarial chil
dren before starting an epidemic of
chills, fever and ague. Ho recom
mends chocolate quinine tablets, three
grains a day, for children.
Wood mines are found In Upper
Tonquin, China. The wood was orig
inally a plno forest which tho earth
swallowed In some cataclysm. Soma
of the trees are a yard In diameter.
They He in a slanting direction and
In sandy soils, which cover them at
a depth of about eight yards. As the
top branches are well preserved, it is
thought that the geological convulsion
which burled them can not have oc
curred very long ago. The wood fur
nished by these timber mines Is prac
tically Imperishable and the Chinese
gladly buy It for coffins.
A movement which will meet a
warm weliome among housekeepers
and commission merchants Is that
which the International Apple Ship
pers' Association will take up at Its
forthcoming meeting In Buffalo. It la
to bring about the standardization of
boxes and barrels In which fruits and
vegetables nre packed and Is along the
lines of bills prepared for Introduction
In Congress. There is no good re i ion
why there should pot be uniformity In
weights and measurts throughout tha
eountry, It is held, au ;h "e is a
hope that It will be brought about by
law, strictly enforced.
In one of the big Jewelry stores la
Maiden lane there Is a man who rent
desk room and makes a business of
winding (locks fer wealthy New Y'ork:
families, lie has wound the clock In
ono house In upper Fifth avenue for
fifteen years and nov, thou'Vi the fam
ily Is abroad, he gees re:;il u ly every
eight days and keeps the timepieces
going, lie has several families who
havo as many ns a ea-rii clocks In
tho house and every one Is attended
to personally by him. On his list
there are srveral year clock, which
are wound on the tmnlversiry of the
owner's wedding, au.l he has to keen
track of these tim. -pieces very care
fully. . Vor twenty-ltv, e years this man
has been building up his business un
til he has a very ilJv iiuome. New
York Sun.