Dakota County Herald
DAKOTA CITY. NEB.
John H. Rtam,
Publisher
Have they given up trying to swim
Ihe channel since Bleriot flew it?
There will be no war la Crete. The
photographers and correspondents
fc'ere too busy on airships.
Frobsbly when the north pole Is
Eally discovered It will be by a con
esslonal committee investigating the
supply.
Tho nun of Australia outnumber the
Women by 247.000. Here Is a show for
Ihe 100.000 superfluous, women In Mas
sachusetts. No American si vie has been as bad
s that poach basket affair the former
phah used to wear while he waa still
en the Job.
If the latest fashion edict among
Women that "hats and shoes must
pjatrh" Is carried out, where will mere
tnan walk?
In war there Is a reasonable chance
that some of the participants will es
saps death or Injury. In automobllo
racing. It seems, there Isn't.
According to the statement of a New
York burglar, there Is no money In
burglary. Another of the pernicious
affects of the high cost of living.
They had an earthquake down In
Panama, but the Gatuo dam did not
tilde, and no roan with a good posi
tion was shaken loos from his Job.
Young Cudahy, of Omaha, baa been
kidnaped again, and the expense to
his father is, likely to be greater than
p the first Instance. Tho young man
la engaged to be znarrled.
rv . .. f-
Trult, It la said, retards the harden
ing of the tissues and thua conduces
to the preservation of youthfulness.
Yet age Is itself a lemon handed out
by life to youth and beauty.
The Inmates of Sing Sing make pub-
Ilc their need of more tenor voices
o assist In the church services. Sing
Ring's dearth of singers suggests the
proper dlspoaal of the next grand
opera star that murders hla notes.
A novel law point has been raised
by a man In Connecticut who ha?
ued one of his nelgbbora for a sting
ing administered by the latter'a bees.
Curiosity Is now rampant to tea If
the bee-owners will alto be stung.
According to recent advices from the
Thaw camp, Evelyn la playing a game
for a stake of $600,000, which she ex
pect Harry's people to put up. In
little Evelyn's caso the business In
stinct and the artistic temperament
seem to go together.
Surgeons as well as spectators and
Slayers are Interested In modern foot
all. A report from two doctors who
have had medical charge of a univer
sity team for three years says that
tnore serious Injuries are received In
practice than during the actual game.
One remedy Would be to make a rule
forbidding practice.
Grand Army veterans are Interested
In the organlxatlon of a post of their
order s,: Oldham, In Lancashire, Eng
land, where twenty former Union Mi
dlers have petitioned for a charter.
This will be the first G. A. R. post !n
Europe,, although there are six out
side the limits of the United States-
four In Canada, one in Peru and one
In Honolulu. According to the latest
report of the Pension Commissioner,
about five thousand pensioners, or
about half of one per cent, reside in
foreign countries.
The Chicago huahand who hid his
Wife's clothes in order to prevent her
spending his hard earned savings in
a vacation tour must be a brave man.
Few husbands would dare take such
extreme measures In such a case. Of
course the fact that he was support
ing a S30-a-month apartment on an
$18a-week salary somewhat Justifies
blm, but still he Is daring to the nnlnt
of boldness. What Is a husband for,
anyway, but to earn money for the
purpose of supporting a wife In com
fort and providing her with any fool
thing she happens to desire.
Certain astronomers have lately been
talking and writing with much serious
cess of the possibility of communtrat
lng with the inhabitants of Mars.
They have no doubt that the planet
ts Inhabited. An American In Qer
many has lately Indulged In some ad
Titrable "fooling'' on the subject In a
communication to Science. He writes
that "It ts well known, even among
astronomers," that as the orbit of the
earth passes between the sun and
liars, the dark side of the earth must
at regular Intervals be turned toward
Mars. He suggests that as a hole
through the earth would permit the
passage of the light of the sun at such
times, messages might be sent to Murs
by the Morse code, if proper apparatus
were adjusted for Interrupting thi
rays of light. The correspondent ad
mlts that such a hole would have to
bo several miles In diameter, but says
that many of the details are alreadv
ec-ttled, "ln-ludlng the spot where such
an opening might best be made In the
Interests of mankind g -ner illy." n
leaves us to conjecture whether tho
spot U under tho residence of tho
Kaiser or the Sultan, or under the ob
servatories of the sensational astrori
intra.
Much ha3 been said cf late of t'.ie
danger of having files around and of
the best wuys of poisoning them or
otherwlsa of disposing of tluru. A
writer in McClurtt's contributes to tho
discussion by soma very pertinent re
marks on the sbumo of having lli'M.
"What bo ;:ya applies bcth to tho eo.i.i
try as a whole and to Individual house
hold. England, he tells us, is now al
most without files, and that beeuuse
f the clean-up work of the last flltjr
years. "If we had no decaying organlo
matter we should have no flies," he
says, and as England has systematl
cally undertaken to remove and de
stroy such matter the fly problem foi
her la solved. As for the honse-holds,
It Is alninf-f an Identical pronot-lilon
to say that a houe has many flies or
that It has many smells. "The fly
has one supreme motive In life, and
that Is to move toward the strongest
smell. He enters the house because
there are more smella Inside the
kitchen than out, and one In, he fre
quents the kitchen because there are
more smells there than In the parlor."
A number of devices for getting rid of
files, based either on their attraction
toward smells or their attraction tow
ard light of certain Intensities are de
scribed In this article, and prospective
homo builders would do well to con
sider them arid have provision made
for some of them In their kitchens or
other rooms. A useful hint as to kill
ing files with no other apparatus than
the human hand Is also given. Mont
people who have hit at Plan know thr.t
n slow approach Is successful where
n swift blow 1 not. If one brings th.?
baud slowly above the fly he will slay,
and If ono then drop3 the middle fin
TT quietly upon Mm he will not tie
able to detect It coming. The wntk
of keeping the fly from hatch Ins Is
partly n civic and partly a private
duty, In both cases being a wo-k of
cleansing. The worlik of getting the
flies, when once hatched, away from
the homes Is a private duty. An""
ently method for all theso tar.is nro
available, and have but to be applied
to succeed. Lvory time we are re
minded that a Ily can easily carry six
million gorms, moat of them gathered
In the barnyard or tho garbage bucket,
we pet a fresh hint to busy ourselves
at once.
SOME MARRIED MEDITATIONS.
By Clarence L. Cull e a.
"Did you ever know a fat woman
who dldu't say: "Why, when I waa
married I only weighed 110 pounds?"
The tie that binds a good many
married couples is thua summed up
by themselves: "Oh, I'm used to hav
ing him (or her) around."
Few of the new school suffragettes
get It so bad that thoy refuse to lis
ten when you murmur pretty things
about their cyeB or their hats.
Anoihcr unfailing slgu of a "touch"
la when she tells you that she consid
ers you be.lter looking now than In
that photograph you had taken before
you were married.
A lot of married men are holding
their breaths and waiting to see how
their wives are going to look when
they git their hair fixed to wear thosu
new foot and a half shakos.
There's a certain type of woitu
who, having not much of anything elas
to do, likes to Imagine herself the
martyred party of what the spinster
lady writers call a "loveless .mar
riage."
The male bully la olaHslQed and
tabbed; but when a woman Is habit
ually rude, brusque and downright in
sulting, . it's said of her thut "Hhe has
such a candid way with her, don't you
think?"
Did you ever feel sort o' wistful
with yourself when you pioked up an
English novel and read how the hus
bands and wives of the nifty class
over there only meet occasionally al
the week-end parties and the like?
The War of Trrnllng "Star."
The English actor, Macready, accord
lng to Sir Squire and Lady Bancroft's
recent book. "The Bancrofts' Recollec
tions of Sixty Years," was once play
ing "Hamlet" In the United States.
During rehearsals ho had found
fault so severely with the local
favorite, who took the part of the king,
that his majesty determined to re
venge himself upon the great tranodl
an at the performance by reeling, when
stabbed by Hamlet, to tho center of
the stage, instead of remaining at the
back, and falling dead upon the very
spot which Macready had reserved for
his own end.
The plan was carried out. Ma
cready, on his part, groaned and
prompted:
"Die farther up the stago, sir! What
are you doing down here, Blr? Get
up and die elsewhere, sir!"
To tho amazement of the audience,
the king sat bolt upright on the stage.
"Mr. Macready," ho said, "you have
had your way at rehearsal, but I am
king now, and I guess I shall die
where I please."
William TerrlBS accommodated him
self to similar conditions with superi
or grace and humor. In rehearsing
the duel In "The Corslcan Itrothera,"
he said to Irving:
"Don't you think, governor, a few
raya of the moon mlgh'. fall on me?
Nature, at least, Is ImpariUi."
Try Tbras on Your Tonitnr.
A London paper recently offered a
series of prizes for the best "tongue
twisting" sentences. The prUe-wln-nlnn
contributions are:
Tho bleak bree.e blighted the bright
hrooni blossoms.
Two toads totally tried to trot to
Tedhury.
Strict. strong Stephen Stringer
sua red tdlrkly six sickly silky snakes.
SiiKHii shlneth shoes and soi'ks;
socks and shoe) Bhlnes Susan. Shu
i'eaeih shining shoes and socks, for
b'nit'H and socks shock Susan.
A haddock, a haddock, a black spot
led haddock; a black spot on the
black back of a black spotted haddock.
Ollwr Of.lothorp oglod an owl and
an oyster. Did Oliver Oglethorp ogle
an owl and an oyster?
If Oliver Oglethorp ogled an owl
mid an oyster, where are tho owl and
the oyster Oliver Oglethorp ogled?-
Chicago Tilhuno.
I'arfulnl Approval.
"Do you think your daughter will
develop line musical taste?"
"1 don't laiow," answered Mr. Slrlus
Darker. "The way sho objects to
playing those 'Kiisy IMocob for Heglu
ners' eucourages me to hope that she
will." Washlngtod Star.
Opinions of
swarvfKtninKwzsni
HOUSES AND AUTOMOBILES.
LTIIOL'OII no monarch, however nrer.url-
V I ous his tenure may be
A I days of kingship, hns
mal Is still an indispensable adjunct to
human welfare. Only a few years ago the
machinist who had become enamored of
automobiles predicted that the horse was doomed to
extinction at an early dute. lie said tho same thing
when bicycles came Into use. Hut the horse Is still do
ing business, and the bicycle has gone so completely
out of general use as to make people wonder what they
ever saw In It.
Our horn population, taken over the fifteen years In
which the automobile may be said to have been an ef
fective competitor, has risen almost continuously, and
especially In the past seven years. There were 15,893,
818 horses In the United States In 1800, with an average
value of $20 a hfad. There are now, according to the
figures of the fiscal year Just closed, 20,040,000, with a
total value of 81,974,042,000, or an average of $95 a
head. In the same period the horse's plebeian but use
ful relative, the mule, has nearly doubled in number,
or from 2,533,108 in 1805 to 4,053.000 in 1909, and more
than doubled In value, as the average mule which was
worth $47 In 1895 is now worth $107. If the automo
bile were going to exterminate the horse, such figured
as these woold be impossible. Wall Street Journal.
ABANDONED FARMS IN
NGLAND is worrleil at
El only a decreaKe In Its
I but a shrinkage in the
uuuoi LuuivAiiuji, it nut i,uvu,vvu acres
less under cultivation now than ten years
ago. A commission which investigated
tho subject ascribes this situation to the
Impossibility of ownership by the tenant, leading to
slack methods which render farming unprofitable, and
recommend giving the tenant a chance to purchase, or
at leant the benefit $f enhanced value due to better
care and tnore scientific tillage1.
Lund in England bas become too valuable to return
S profit by farming methods prevailing In the United
States, and the commit nlon plujs to rejuvenate English
agriculture by r multiplicity of amal farms w?U tUIed
and soil properly nurtured. England ftUIsl always de
pend upon outside Pource3 for a large portion of Its
food supply, but. It could be made to produce every
thing needed except grains and meat, and the amount
of theee producfd nt home could be greatly increased
if all tho arable land were under plow. Oniaba Bee.
RAISING THE STANDARD.
HE npproach of the now school year brings
out the Announcement thut several of tho
leading colleges and universities are adopt
ing the policy of ridding their chissrooniB
of no-account students. The Chicago Uni
versity (done has dropped one hundred
students because of failure to make satls-
JL
mm
Vmp ...
ftictory records In scholarship. As we understand It,
the student who makes honest effort to make his grades,
and makes rrogies.s, even though slow in advancement,
will be given proper encouragement to continue his
work. Any other course would be brutal, but the smart
Alec who (roes to co'lepe Just because "pa" Is rich and
ELECTRIC POWER FROM SUN.
benerulor Cnllit-ra ftolur Klrctrlrlty
and Makea It Do Work.
Innumerable reasons might bo given
for belief that there Is no heat In the
sun, but the strongest is based upon
the experiences of aeronauts. They
always remark that at great altitudes
the thermometer ceases to mark any
variation of temperature. Certainly
a man so high in the air that the
earth Is barely discernible Is nearer
to the sun than wo are. If the heat
be In tho sun itself, why does he not
feel it more strongly than thoso on
the enrth's surface?
The tendency of heat Is ulways to
ascend Into the atmosphere when It
Is derived from combustion on the
surface of tho earth, or from radiation
within It. Tho flame or n cnndlo
points vertically upward when the
air Is still. Notice a room In which
thero Is a hot stove. Is not the upper
pnrt of the room vastly hotter than
near the floor?
The effort of boat Is to depart from
Its source with a rnpldlty proportion
ate to the intensity of combustion.
This Is a repellant force, nt the same
time, from Its being associated with
positive electricity, It is attracted to
the tipper atmosphere by Its negative
electricity, which Is always associated
with cold.
The diffusion of heat, laterally or
downward, is Invonslderahle, as Is
manifested In a room where there Is
an open fire, the lire emitting little
heat below the grate and parts of the
room being Imperfectly heated.
From these simple facts I ani forced
to conclude that the sun, if It had any
ralorlflc rays, could not possibly send
them to tho earth below it throiiRh a
space of 92,000,000 tuilos, having, on
scientists declare, a temperature of
minus 142 degrees centigrade.
Then, too, If the sun possessed heat,
and could force It downward to the
earth, there could be no clouds, as the
particles of atmosphere known as
clouds would b so expanded and at
tenuated by the absorbed heut that
they could never attain definite shape.
On the proven hypotuesls that the
sun Is a magnet, it cacnot be an In
candescent body, since magnetism Is
destroyed by heat. The moon, we know,
Is u reflector of light without the
emission of any accompanying heat.
If we thus get our noctuniiil light un
liccompinied by heat, why should we
Insist upon violating the well rstan
II -died laws of heat In Its radiations
and declare the sun to be an incan
descent body, continually In active
combustion, requiring lueotieelvuhlo
masses of fuel uf some kind to main
tain it, mid surrounded on all sides
by nil immensity of ethereal space of
so low a temperature that any radia
tion of heat from the sun must neces
sarily bo absorbed and neutralized as
soon as It should leave the body of the
sun?
Why, If best comes from the sun, Is
It as cold on the top of a mountain iu
the tropics as In the frigid zone?
Now I have come to the point
where I must explain where the seem
ing heat In the sun's rays comes from,
If not from the sun Itself.
Great Papers on Important Subjects.
because "all the other guys go" this element la no
longer wanted by those Institutions which mako a spe
cialty of scholarship.
The proposed change ts one of the moat wholesome
which has been considered In educational circles in a
long tlmo. The a,e demands men who are Jirepared
for Its activities The dullards and the indifferent one
are rapidly being crowded ailde. Their fate may be
an unhappy one, but In the race of life it Is the fittest
who sui vivo. Tho young boys of to-duy should get their
eyes open. Jrj t:!3 vactflon time, If they resolve to
throw away that crooked pipe stuck between their
teeth, which rc-ally add3 not one element of respecta
bility, and embrace the opportunities of the next school
year with all the vigor which they enn command, they
will be far happier a twelvemonth hence and be ablo
to surprise themselves and their friends at the extent
of the progress made. Des Moines Capital.
In these, uncertain
recently offered his
MMIIII T
of 6 per cent over the great record of 1908. The corn
crop will reach 3,161,174,000 bushels, the spring and
wlntor wheat crop3 will total 663,300,000 bushels, and
there will be 692,933.000 bushels of oats, 183,923,000
bushels of barley, 31,928,000 bushels of rye and 11,250,
000 bules of cotton, not to mention the Immense aggre
gate of the lesser crops.
Theso figures are almost too stupendous to permit a
proper realization of what they mean. Farm methods
are becoming mora scientific, and, therefore, more effi
cient every year; the average acre will soon be pro
ducing what the average five acres used to produce, and
there seems to be no limit set upon the possibilities of
developing and increasing the productivity of the soil.
Tho country's potential agricultural resources are be
yond comprehension. Add to them the untold wealth of
our mines and cur fisheries, and it is easy to see why
actual hard times cannot last for long. Ohio 8tate
Journal.
ENGLAND.
nresent over fin
farm population,
number of acres
TAXATION
El
In the practical way of securing the revenue, and on the
theory that the consumer always pays the tax, the bur
den would be wld'ily distributed. The schedule calls
for a specific tax of $2 on pistols, dirk knives, sword
canes, stilettos, brass or metallic knuckles, and similar
weapons, with the addition of 25 per cent ad valorem.
On cartridges of 22-callber or under it proposes a tax
of onc-elghth of a cent on each cartridge, and on car
tridges over 22-callber tho rate proposed Is one-fifth of
1 cent each. Weapons or cartridges sold to the Federal
government or to the various State governments for
the militia are exempted from tho t;ix. Manchester
Tnlon.
It comes from electricity.
Light 13 the omnipotent force.
What is light? Who is there that
knows?
We understand that the Creator. In
directing that light first of all should
bo made, Intended to constitute a force
superior to all other forces.
Light, then, la tho great source of
terrestrial electricity, magnetism and
heat.
Whatever moves Is matter. The hu
man mind can conceive of nothing
else. Neither can It conceive of mo
tion without associating It with the
idea of an object to be moved. Hence,
light, which moves. Is matter.
Light thrown upon the sun is re
fleeted to the earth with a velocity
of ISO, 000 miles per second and re
quires about 8 1G-3.", minutes to reach
tho earth. Whatever tiny be the com
position of tha stiace Intervening be
tween the earth and the sun. It must
LOW POWIH CKNKBATOR.
be matter, as nature abhors a vacuum.
Ciive It Its most attenuated form and
call It ether, it is still matter.
Light passing through this with
marvelous speed must produce every
where enormous friction, and with It
electricity and magnetism. 'Klectrlc
lty, by the Junction of Its opposite
polarities, evolves heat, and' also Im
parts magnetism to all Biibstances that
are capable of being Invested with It.
It Is electricity, then, that causes
heat, and not. as 1ms been thought
for ages, direct radiation from the
sun.
Although my theory, when finally
worked out, satisfied me admirably, It
was not until I had completed my
generator and proved It that I felt
Just Hied In speaking of what seemed
to be a ruthless uprooting of all pre
conceived ideas. Itellevlng that the
sun's rays produced electricity, I
evolved a simple apparatus for uti:!?!.
lng It, and I did this so successfully
that It is possible to store In a battery
the electricity from the rays of light.
New York World.
A Wild Aalinal Farm.
M. I. Kendrlrk, of Denver, Colo.,
bos a farm equipped for the rearing
and eule of wild boasts. The enter
prise bears the title of the Kendrtck
Pueasautrlus aud Wild Game Assocliv
WHY IIAHD TIME3 DON'T LAS'.
IIK chiof reason why this country has
ernnrirnd do nrorontlv from the Hlnueh of
H ! financial aud industrial depression Is
I fniin.l tn w. D.a V. n rtAt,aft
ment of Agriculture. The value of this
year's farm products, as estimated by Sec
retary Wilson Is $, 000, 000,000, an increase
OF DEADLY WEAPONS.
OXCKKSSMAN SISSON of Mississippi in
troduced n revenue proposition of merit
that might have prevailed had it been ad
vanced earlier In the session. Much can
be said in its favor. It proposed a tax
upon every deadly weapon and every car
tridge manufactured In this country. This
tlon. It grew out of the novel ex
hibit at the City Park in Denver,
wnich Mr. Kendrlck maintained en
tirely at his own expense, because of
his love for wild game. Manv thou-
sands of dollars yearly went to the
development of Mr. Kendrlck's hobby.
vv hat was a Taney has become a sub
stantial business Institution.
For the first few years only animals
native to North America will be reared
but eventually lions, tigers, and even
elephants will be bred. The farm Is
now stocked with deer, elk, antelope,
bears, mountain goats, etc., and 1G
ncrcrt of ground are utilized in the
enturo.
Mr. Kendrlck says that It does not
co-t any more to produce a pound of
buffc.lo or elk than It does of cattle or
sheep. HufTalo meat sells at from i'.O
cents to Jl a pound, elk meat bring
ing nearly as much. The association
will not lack a market at these prices
If zoological parks and game preserves
do not take the entire output.
Tho I'nlted States government Is
taking great Interest In Mr. Kendrlck's
farm. It will co-operate with him by
tcillug him how to cure or prevent
any disease with which he Is not fa
miliar. Success Magazine.
Kiffllh Lavender Town,
One of tho minor harvests that prom
ise well Is that of the lavender Melds.
I havo seen some flourishing crops In
the IUtchln neighborhood to-day, says
a writer In the Ixmdon Daily Mall.
Comparatively few know of this
quaint Hertfordshire town as an im
portant lavender-growing section, yet
it has grown the sweet old herb
(which the Romans called lavandula
when they used it to scent their
baths), has dLstllled the flowers and
sent their extract into all parts of tho
world for more than a century.
The Hltchln district has less rain
and more sunshine than the Ixadon
area during the month which has Just
closed, and consequently the long,
trim rows of lavender plants in their
dusky green look strong and healthy.
They aro beginning to show their
flower buds, and there Is every likeli
hood of an abundant yield at cutting
time, which uiii be from three to four
weeks hence.
At cutting time ptHiple come in from
miles around to Inhale the sweetness
of the llilds. and when the ills-tilling
begins the fragrance of lavender la
hot lie on the wind two miles or more
from the to.vn.
The Howers are put into the still
with t'.ie fresh bloom of their maturity
on them, and from six pounds of such
rtoAen about half an ounce of oil Is
extracted.
Supplied.
Mrs Ci-lmsonbeak "It is said that
human hair to tho weight of 207,414
pounds was shipped butt year from
Ilongluing to the United States."
Mr. Crlmsonheak "Well, I see you
got yours!" Yonkers Statesman.
Th OpflinUl.
lut don't foruet tho optimist.
Who's In all seasons sunny;
He laughs when Jokes are very good
And smiles If they're not funny,
lookers Statesman.
LONESOME IN TO WW.
The KTay light dies; the fog shuts
(town :
The street lump flares and sputters;
Tiic r-iin s!;jhs through the budllcd
town
And numil.b'S In the fctittc-s.
The emptied thorrniRbfares become
Weird streams of hazy Hsbt.
They if..--uc from tho dusk and, dumb,
J-'kiw on Into the nlslit.
The urarllnrr trolley crumbles past,
Its tnappliiK wire plows;
A:iln whrr" yon pale llf;ht Is cat
The bnckm.m's horeee don.
In v!n the l arpaln windows wink,
The passers-by are few;
The grim w;!ls stretch away, innd
shrink
In dull electric M;ie.
But oh, fnr over Mils nnd dolls,
The cons conic up the Line,
With steaming flanks and fnj-dulled
bells
Atinkle In the ruin.
Youth's Companion.
The Anniversary
j She was a true, lovln' woman, who
j had dreamed, as most of us do, of the
funiblin' little hands, the suugglln' lit
tle face, of our very own, and the
crown of motherhood had been denied
her. In the minute I stood there si
lent I understood, and my heart ached
for her. Disappointment, had changed
her world, and the days and weeks
of lonely brooding, while he was away,
had changed her, too.
Droppin' down by the couch, I put
my arms about her, and did my best
to comfort her.
"1 know, missus," I whispered,
when she had crown quiet. "But it's
wrong to grieve. There's many worse
troubles than yours. You have your
husband "
"My husband cares nothing for ine!"
she cried. "I am shut out of his life!"
"You shut yourself out, dearie," I
said gently. "I am sure of it. I'm
only 'Omely Liz. No man will ever
call me wife now, but I think I can
understand why you two have gone
BROOlll.NG AN' MISERABLE,
apart, and I'd like to see you happy to
gether again. Little children come to
bind affection closer, true enough, and
whero the blessin' is denied tha great
er the call for lovln' kindness. That's
where you've failed, dearla. Forgive
me If I hurt you by my plain speakln',
but It seems to me you've lived with
disappointment so long It's made you
bitter. A man Is niado different to us;
he is of coarser clay. He would not
understand why you should continue
to fret "
"He was too busy making a position
to care!" she cried.
"Oil, no!" I said. "He cared: but I
j think he would care more to see the
change in you. It would grieve him to
j see you so different. Things do not
j come to siit'a a pass between man un'
wile until one despairs of rekindling
affection. If the years have hem
wretched for you, they have been as
much to him; and, because be has
found no pleasure In his home life he
has been tempted to seek It with
friends, so widening the gulf between
you. Why not meet him to-night with
a sniiliu' face, an' say you're sorry? I
know he would smile, too, and that
his arms would hold you. You are to
gether for better or worse for maybe
many years. Why not always for bet
ter?" "H has ceased to care!" she said
bltterl. 'He would turn from me
with a laugh!"
"I think not, dearie," I said quietly.
"I have seen the look In his eyes when
you have left the room, and I know
ho, too, is wretched. Make it up to
day r
"To-day!" she cried. "To-day is the
anniversary of our wedding day. For
the first four years he marked it with
a gift; he hns forgotten it altogether
now!"
"Oh. no!" I said, smiling confident
ly. "Meet him when he conies home
to-night as I want you to, and see if
he has forgotten. It seems such a
pity you should be bad friends. Listen
to me, dearie!"
And, very quietly, I told her about
my last place.
She heard me through, and at the
end lay buck, with the glistenin' tears
iu her eyes.
"Thank you, Lizzie!" she said.
That wuj all; but I Jumped up,
smllin', because I knew 1 bad won her
round.
"Now, listen, ma'am!" 1 said. ' I've
got a plan. He'll be home, as usual,
at 7 for dinner. We'll have u special'
spread in honor of the day, and you
shall be waltln' for him In your wed
ding dress!"
"My wedding dress!" she cried.
"Oh, no, Liz; It's hopelessly old fash
ioned. I should look a fright."
"We'll see you don't," I .-aid. 'lit
is going to come into 'lie room, and
find his old, sweetheart, and, just as
sure, you will find him again!"
"You think so, Liz?" ehe cried trem
bling. "Sure of It!"
"Come and dig out the dress " she
said.
And, laughln' at our pleasant
thoughts, we tripped upstairs.
The rest of that day, until the usual
hour of his homecoming, passed like a
dream. The difference In the miasm
you'd hardly credit. She seemed an
other woman altogether. Now that her
mind was given to It, nothing must
go amiss. His favorite dishes mu?
be cooked; there must be flowers on
the table, his slippers must be In ths,
fender; everything must be just al
he liked It.
At (! o'clock tho went upstairs to
dress. As I put on my best apron 1
litprd her quietly slnglti'. When she
called me tc bee Low she looked, t
r: ood an' Fuiiled, because, for some rea
S"t:. I couldn't say a word.
The white silk dress fitted her per
fic:ly; her ryes were shlnln', Iho
Fnillin' lips had given a new expres
sion to hr face.
Slip looked u happy, blushln' bride.
"Shall I do, Lizzie?" she said, with
a playful courtesy.
"O'.i. ma'am, you look beautiful!" I
exclaimed.
"You think he'll know me?" sho
said.
"You'll see," I answered, laughln'.
From behind my back I held out. the
spray of flowers I had got from the
;hop with the others downstairs.
"I want you to wear this, ma'am," I
Bald. "Let me fasten It in your
gown!"
"A bunch of rosomary!" she cried.
"For remembmnee, ma'am."
"Thank you, Lizzie," she said quiet
ly, pressln' my hand; an' smiling hap
pily, we went down the stairs.'
"When you want dinner served,
you'll please ring, ma'am, I said, as I
turned for the kitchen. "It's nearly 7.
In ten minutes he'll be here!"
As the clock struck I stood with tho
kitchen door open, waltln' for the
sound of his key in the lock. In tho
dining room I knew sho, too, was lis
ten in. For five, ten, flftepn minutes
we sat there, quietly waitin'. He did
not come.
I stole along the hall, and, softly
openin' the vestibule door, looked out
along the road. There was no sign of
him. Iiackwards and forwards from
kitchen to door, I went a dozen times,
until the clock struck 8. And then I
went slowly back, and, slttin' by the
kitchen table, sobbed like a kid. The
tl inner was spoiled. All our little plan
ning was wasted. He was not coming.
How long I sat there I couldn't say,
but presently I looked up, and thero
was the missus, standin' lu the door
way. Her face had gone white an'
drawn again; the dull look had come
back Into her eyes. She didn't cry. I
think she couldn't.
"We've been a little foolish, Lizzie,"
she said, with a queer, har3h laugh.
"You see, he has quite forgotten!'
For the life of ine, I coultluT find
words to say to her.
"Poor, sentimental Liz!" she cried.
"I'm afraid, arter all, you don't know
much of men."
Apd wt.U that she turned and went
back again.
Nine o'clock struck, and she still sat
In the dining room, brooding an' mis
erable. Ten came, and, with a heavy
heart, I cleared away the meal. Elev
en, and I had heard no sound of her.
When the half-hour chimed, I took my
alarm clock, and, after windin' It,
crept to the dining room to say good
night. Quietly I opened tho door, and
looked In, to find her stretched on the
hearthrug, with one arm under her
head, uslcep.
Gently closing the door again, I
stole back to the kitchen, and sat
down to wait. A few minutes before
12, his key grated In tho door, and at
the sound I shot up, wth my hand
pressed to my breast. I heard him
bolt the outer door. I stood there
nhakin' w hile he hung his coat an' hat
on the stand, and crossed to the din
ing room.
"Mary!" i
I caught his cry, and the door slur
behind him. Then I am not ashamed
to own it I stole quickly1 along the
hall, and listened.
His shout must have aroused her,
for I h'ard her whisper, as if dazed:
"Ned!"
"Mary!" he cried; and I think he
must have stooped to raise her tip.
"What on earth "
And then he stopped, as if the
meaning of her dress and the set-out
table had come to him; and for quite
a spell I heard no sound, until came
the pitiful outburst of chokin' sobs she
could no longer hold back.
"My poor girl!" he said. "I did not
think you cared any longer! You have
been waiting for me all this time! I
What a blind fool I have been!"
"I wanted you to come to tell you
I'm sorry!" sho Bald. "Ned, I am
ashamed! Will you forgive and let
us be as we were always?"
"Mary!" he cried.
And I stole quietly upstairs to m
room, smllin' an dabblln' the silly
tears from my face. London Answers.
Tkt Katloual (;ame.
No doubt the best cure for pessim
ism Is Robinson Crusoe's device of
making a list of all one's blessings and
another of all one's troubles, and then
comparing the two. A simpler calcula
tion was that of the youth In the fol
lowing story, taken from the Kansas
City Journal:
"Kvery rain storm." complained tho
pessimistic boy, "means a postponed
game."
"And every postponed game," an
swered the optimistic boy, "means a
double-header."
A Nnluritl inelualuii.
'That fanner is a funny old rooster,
i.-n't he. papa."
"How dare you call that old gentle
man a rooster?"
"Well, he told me he went '.) lied
with t!io thickens." Houston I'ost.
Doll Heat Then.
"One needs a pretty sharp point to
bote wlt. doesn't he?"
"Ye, miles it's on a joke." Kan
fas City Times.
V'.-v. Is the man who buys a return
ticket when he wanders from his own
tiresirtc.
V u .-chlom envy a man whose wife
Is ho homely that he Isn't Jealous of
her.
There Is nothing new under tha sua
not evtn la love or politics.