Opinions of
BIQ FAMILIES.
HE Census Bureau, litis
H I lHl,'"'",u sialism s 01 j
j I HHX. It litis found Hint
or hip mumies 111 me nrsr enumeration r
the republic was .".8 persons, the varia
tion running from r..4 In (icrgia to (VI In
Maryland. In l'.M 0 the average for tti
era enumerated In 1":0 was 4.C. from 4.1 In a number
of Slates, to G.l In North Carolina.
Had the number of persons who compiled the total
number of private families In IIHXI been icroiipi-d accord
ing to the overuse size sliown In 1T!0, there would have
been 3,307,0(10 less households thini wore actually re
ported. Had tho average size of ouch families In 1000
been as lnrjre as the average shown In IT'.Ki, the popula
tion would have been Ineretised by nearly 20,000,000 per
sons. Many considerations are left out it this calculation,
the greater chances for living, the rotlecnble reduction
rn Infant mortality, the extension of the average life
of the Individual, the conquest of 01 ce virulent diseases,
and so forth.
While we possibly voice n heresy, we cannot see but
the smaller family of 1!mh u n distinct advantage over
the family of 17!0. Sometimes there Is a wide vein of
foolish twnddle In the lectures of those who plead for
the spreading of the benefils and the attention among
Ix children that are given to two. Toledo Blade.
WHY THE SMALL TOWN
N Englishman w rkes about his return to
I his native village, and what be did not
I And there, iu the Westminster Itevtaw. lie
i I ......... k., .i... ..ieu.. I.....- -1. ..
In his youth an important establishment,
employing three -or four assistants. Only
one man is there now, a mere cobbler, who
ekes out a scanty subsistence. The business of mak
ing shoes has long since been given over to the factory In
the large town. The windmill on the hill, where the
corn grown In the parish was formerly sent for grinding,
lias disappeared. The people get their meal and flour
by rail from distnnt cities. He looked In vain for the
cooperage shop where the wooden buckets and wooden
tubs and vats were formerly made. The zinc bucket
has dealt the wooden one n deadly blow, and the decay
of. domestic brewing has completed its ruin. Wherever
be looked It was the same story. Even the domestic
manufacture of cotton sunbonnets and stays by th
women of the village Is hut a memory. The modern fac
tories took charge of their business long ago.
Most American city dwellers who return for a brief
Tlslt to their native villages may discern like changes.
The manufacturing shoe shop, the grist mill, the tan
yard, the slaughter pen where the local butcher killed
his own meat, the small sawmill, the brick-kiln, once
so Indispensable these and many other local Industries
which flourished fifty years ago are more than likely to
be missing to-day, and their employment of labor has
BOY WANTED.
The position of office boy Is proud
though humble. No one would want to
be an office boy all his life, yet few
are ashamed at having "started in"
that way. The boy may not always
realize the possibilities of his place,
but the average office boy Is, for the
kind of work he has to do, as care
fully selected as many a more respon
sible clerk. Not long ago a gentle
man had occasion to hire a new boy.
In answer to the sign, "Hoy Wanted,"
a horde of applicants appeared.
"I hud quite a time picking one out,"
he said to his wife later in the day.
"If they had all come at once, and I
had been able to stand them up In a
line and quiz them, the trouble would
n't have been so great. But once I
found anything the matter with one, I
had to ship him off immediately. I
was sorry, but It was necessary."
"I hope you hired a clean on," said
his wife. "That boy you had the year
we were married was so untidy."
"He wasn't dirty, though," remarked
the man. "Lincoln might have been
called untidy, you know, but always
clean. That boy's face was so shining
that you never noticed whether he had
on a necktie or not."
"Mostly not I guess."
"Well," said her husband, "I got one
at last. There were five real possi
bilities, but this Is the best of them.
One was too neat, and "
"Too neat!" Interrupted his wife.
"What do you mean by that?"
' "He was 'slicked up,' a the boys call
It, so that ho. looked as if he would
break, like a dress shirt. If h stooped
to pick up something. Besides, he kept
adjusting his necktie and pushing
back a long, oily forelock, as if be
must keep Just so all the time. I
couldn't have him round."
"I never knew men were so particu
lar and you least of all," Mid his
wife.
"Oh, anybody would notice the mat
ter with him. I told him the trouble,
confidentially, and I hope It will do
him some good. There was nnothe"
boy even worse than this one. lie was
the fresh kind tried to make a Joke
the first time he opened his mouth. He
kept It up, too. I told him his trouble
and sent him off.
"I told the boy I hired what I liked
about him namely, his apparent readi
ness to work, no matter exactly what
the work was, and hi way of f,aylng
Yes, sir,' as if he always 14id said
It, and always expected to, to his offi
cial suieriors. And he didn't have
clean hands and dirty nails, which Is
niore than I could say of some of
the others."
"Were his bauds and nails both
lean?" asked tho woman, incredulously-
"So" said her husband, "they were
both dlrly. But It looked like honest
dirt, and when he came buck after I
bad sent him to the lavatory, you
couldn't havo asked for better looking
fingers. Tho boy before had refused
to wash himself when I had suggested
It to him." Youth's Companion.
A womau Is like an oil painting: A
work of art which should not be ap
proached too closely.
Every man la punl.sl.ej for growing
Id. as though It were his fault
Great Papers on Important Subjects.
bepi) comparing the
gone with them. Improved means of transjiortatlon,
the centralization of 8eclal Industries In the great In
dustrial hives, where they can be plied more economic
ally, have here, as In England, brought about change.
.Where the work went the workers went a simple and
satisfactory explanation of the early drift to the cities
from towns and villages. It Is the fashion to speak of
the villages of our youth as If they were the same yes
terday, to day and forever. Hut when we begin to look
closely we see they have had their changes, too; changes
wlili h register the progress from the simpler and less
efficient ways of production to the most modern ones.
In Englund this destruction of small local industries
has a special significance that It lacks with us. The
writer Iu the Westminster says It helps to make tlfS
"return to the land" hopeless. Inability to compete with
modern farm machinery will long prevent city workers
from becoming small agriculturists. And this lack of
local Industries in the Tillages shuts tight the only other
avenue. Fortunately our regret for their decay, if it
exists at all, mutft be pnrely sentimental. Our "back-to-tbc-land"
idea does not even coutemplate turning city
mechanics Into .Tillage mechanics. It contemplates mak
ing them masters of the soil In which position, with 1
Ilt.tlo Intelligence and energy ond knowledge of Intensive
farming, their prospect are worth considering. Chicago
Inter Ocean.
(Sin wnn iniise or
the overage size
B UK BANK,
SUFFERS.
I car,nc4
I naanaaa
They any merely thut the plan would not
-tj bring satisfactory results, either to the
world or those actively engaged in It We
are greatly relieved by the confession. In the first
pface, If Borbank's output were raised to the usual high
rate notable In a modern corporation we would be afraid
that all our trees and shrubs would be changed with
n rapidity too startling for human acceptation. And,
secondly, we rejoice at thts convincing evidence that our
law of incorporation, however faulty, cannot be used
to legalize any mere grafting operations. Chicago Post
M
BwmMn nil
mm
Hughes held that, while power to commute the woman's
sentence lay with him, he had no right to exercise that
power In such a manner as to nullify the explicit direc
tion of the law. If other Governors of American Statoa
were thus impartial, murder would soon lose Its present
popularity as a pleasant pastime. Chicago Journal.
jesse pomeroy, most remarkable
prisoner, in solitary cell 33 years.
1 S&l2&SS . ,
The first picture shows Jesse Pomeroy when he was arrested, and tho
second shows him In prison. He Is America's most remarkable prisoner.
For 33 years he has sat In a solitary cell in a Massachusetts prison. He
was convicted of cruelty to children. Tomeroy soon may see daylight A
bill Is to be Introduced In the legislature permitting lilm to work In the
open with other prisoners.
QUEER STORIES.
China has more than 1,000 walled
cities.
Cuba grows twenty-pound cabbage
heads.
Two yenrs Is the life of the average
spider.
The government owns over 92 per
cent of the railway mileage In Ger
many. As much as a ton of oil lias been
obtained from the tongue 'of a single
whale.
Government railroads In India are
experimenting with cast Iron cross ties
made In the form of boxes.
There are at present In India 321
medical missionaries, of whom 121 are
men and 130 missionary nurses.
A machine operated on the principle
of the vacuum cleaner is being used to
pick walnuts In a California grove.
France has five great mills and a
number of binuller ones at which arti
ficial silk Is made. There are three
kinds of it.
Within the last two decadiw there
have been only two years when " the
wheat crop of France did not cover
I he home demand.
"What brought you here?" said a
magistrate to un Irish offender. "Two
policemen, 8(rr," was the reply. "Ah,
drunk, of course?" "Yes, sorr, both of
them." Story Told nj the Savage 'lub.
In the last eleven years, according to
officially rcxrtcd returns, the city of
Ijeeds. KnglaiMl, has eurnetl u profit of
$5,itr,0Ml from Its iiiunlclpally-owned
tramways, waterworka, gasworks and
elwtrio light plant.
Max O'ltell was once staying with u
friend at Edinburgh. Starting for a
walk on Sunday, he took up his walk
ing stick. "Do you mind taking an um
brella?" asked his conscientious Scotch
host. "It looks more rcnHi-tnble."
In a recent issue of a zuologicul jm
riodlcal I I'late describes tho curious
habit of n new tpcvi-a of lish from tho
Bahama. Tula fish spends part of
NOT INCORPORATED.
HE capitalists who were going to incorpot
rata Luther Durhnnk now Bar that ther
do so. We hope that it la not be-
Vi a rr nnnriAf 4 'i L- a n w m f svlr In Yi I rv
THE EXECUTION OF A WOMAN.
ART FAUMEK, who killed another woman
for money, was executed at Auburn prison.
The legal slaying of a human being Is not
pleasant to contemplate, still less when the
victim is a woman. But in this case ftp
usual hysterical pleas for mercy frortr
maudlin newspniiers availed nothing. Got.
Its time in the shell of a large species
of strombus. Probably It finds the
shell n convenient shelter and place of
retreat from Its enemies. Its presence
does not appear to be of any advan
tage to the mollusk.
Because of complaints from residents
of Chicago of the quality of th gas
sold for Illuminating purposes the City
Council has appropriated $10,300 for
the enforcement of the new ordinance
requiring dally tests of the quality and
pressure of gas supplied to consumers.
This sum includes an annual salury of
$2,500 for one chief gas tester and sal
aries of $1,200 for two assistant gas
testers.
Fiddled Into Ofllce.
Losslng relates that in 1848 he met
at Oswego, N. Y., Major Cocaran, then
nearly eighty years old, a son-in-law
of General Philip Schuyler, who told
the story of his election to congress
during the administration of the elder
Adams. A vessel was to be launched
on one of the lakes In interior New
York, and people came from afar to
see it. The young folks gathered
there, determined to have a dance at
night. There was a riddle, Jut no
tiddler. Young Cochran was on ama
teur performer, and his services were
demanded. He gratified the Joyous
company, and at the supper table one
of the gentlemen remarked, in com
mendation of his talents, that he was
"lit for congress." The matter was
talked up, and he was nominated urn
elected a representative hi congress
for the district then comprising the
whole of New York west of S'henec.
tady. lie always claimed to have
"fiddled himself Into congress."
Improvement.
"You say local option has Improved
real estate values in your community?"
"Yes," answered Col. Stllwell. "Slnco
the customary remedy has been no
longer available malaria has almost
intirely disappeared.' Washington
Star.
When a woman says her husband
will not give her any satisfaction when
she accuses hlui, alio tneuns he will not
coufsaa.
DOW'TS BTf TUB BABT.
these RaUa ghnalrt rte tMrlrllv fU
lowed ky All f'oaeeraed.
All newly born babies who desire to
ave a copy of the following on a card
to bang around their neck can obtain
n free by applying to this office s
Don't handle mo more than Is neces
lary. Don't put into my mouth, to stop me
from crying, an old plei-e of ruhler to
nuck. It N about tho worst habit I
ran get into.
Don't let any relatives sec me.
Don't fake ne up. strain me to your
breast, walk the floor with me, dance
before me like a wild Indian shaking
n horrible raj tic. or talk gibberish to
me when I have a crying spell. There
may be something serious the matter
with me, but this Isn't going to help.
When I ptish away my bottle, don't
force me to feed. I know when it Is
necessary for me to cat anylhlng.
Don't take me to the circus, prayer
meeting, or to spend the day at the
seashore. I'm not so old or so fool
proof as you arc.
Don't kiss me. Take some one of
your own size.
Don't show your anxiety about me
when In my presence. I haven't any
too much confidence In myself.
Don't be too proud of my unnatural
brightness. It may bo a form of de
generacy. Don't tell anybody that I am only a
little animal. Let them guess It for
themselves.
Don't take my temiwrature or send
for the doctor on the slightest provo
cation. Don't let the light strike Into my
eyes.
Don't rock me to sleep. Remember
that the hand that rocks the cradle Is
ruled by the baby. Llpplncott'a Maga
ttne. "Is she making him a good wife?
"Well, not exactly; but she's making
him a good husband."
Johnny The camel can go eight
days without water Freddy So could
I, if ma would let me.
Dyer Did his widow succeed la
breaking his will? Duell Yes; long
before he died. Plck-Me-Up.
"She said she'd marry me If I felt
the Bame way a year from then." "Did
you?" "Yes; but toward another girl."
Belle I wish the Lord had made me
a man. Nellie Perhaps he has, only
you haven't found him yet. Cleveland
Leader.
Hotel Clerk Do you want a room
with a bath? Uncle Hiram Wa-al no;
I don't calculate I'll ba here Saturday
night. Princeton Tiger.
"Did the wedding go oft smoothly?"
"About as smoothly as such affairs
always go off. The only hitch that
occurred was when the pair stood up
to be united."
"How do you ever get on so well
with your wife? Don't you ever have
any differences of opinion?" "Of course
we do. But 1 don't let her know It"
Cleveland Leader.
Little Mary sat seriously thinking
out some hard problem, when she re
marked, "Grandma, I don't know yet
which I'll be, a nurse, or a storekeeper,
or get married, and be nothing."
Johnny They're makln' shingles
out o' cement now'days. Dickey I
don't mind that so much, but if maw
ever gets a pair o' cement slippers I'm
going' to run away! Chicago Tribune.
"I'm getting out a line of common
sense footwear for women." "Do wom
en want common-sense footwear?"
"They'll want mine. I've added an ex
tra inch to the heels." Washington
Herald.
"I see the wireless 'phone is a fail
ure," he said. "I'm glad t it," replied
his wife. ' "Just think of the remarks
you make when Central Irritates you,
and those floating around in space for
any amateur to pick up."
Mr. Simple I see that this here
plano-playtn' Paderewskl has got tho
rheumatism In his hand so he can't
play. Mrs. Simple Then why don't
he use one of these nierhanlcnl pianos?
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
"Is June the favorite month for mar
riages out here, too," asked the Now
York lady. "I don't think so," replied
the Chicago woman; "I've been mar
ried six times in other months, and
only twice in June." Yonkers States
man. Minister I'm sorry to find you com
ing out of a public house again. Ha
muli, after all you promised me. Ha
mish Ay, sir, It's wonderful what an
awfu' decelvln' thing this mist Is!
D'ye ken, I went in there the noo
thlnkln' 'twas the butcher's shop!
Tlt-Blts.
"Now," said the magistrate, "yon
must testify only to what you know,
no hearsay evidence. Understand?"
"Yes, sir," replied the female witness.
"Your name is Mary Bright, 1 believe.
Now, what's you age?" . "I won't Jell
you. I have only hearsay evidence on
that point." Catholic Standard and
Times.
He (desperately) Tell me the truth.
It Is not my poverty that stands be
tween us? She (sadly) Y-e-s. lie
(with a ray of hope) I admit that I
am poor, and bo, unfortunately, is my
father; but I have un aged uncle who
Is very rich, and a bachelor. He is an
Invalid and cannot long survive. She
(delightedly) How kind and thought
ful you are! Will you Introduce ina
to him? New York Weekly.
Word from Ilr'er William.
"1)3 race bus got ter rise an' hus
tle ef It ever hopes ter git dar," suid
Brother Williams. "Too many thinks
dat all dey got ter do is ter go ter
sleep in the hot sun an' rise up an'
eat watermelons In de shadu." Afr
lanta Constitution.
tMiiitulHr Qui-Xlon.
"Pa, I'd like to know "
"What?"
'If a one-legged men wears trousera
or Just one trouser." Kansas City
Times.
TO A ROBIff.
Ton accurately reckon ,
Her coining to a diy t
When her bright finj'r beckon.
You're up and on yonr way.
And on nm rslny morning,
Hefreshlng aod remote,
I catch th first oprlng warning
In your metallic note.
Ping on, brave little KoMn,
I'ntll the hloxflnniR start
To bless tit lyric throb In
Tlio music of your heart 1
Success Magazine.
Guests from Afar
She glanced at the postmark on the
envelope. The letter had been on IU
lourney six days. In four days more
fe'lmer Morse would come.
She quickened her steps. There was
10 much to do In those four short
Jays. No, she would not keep him
waiting.
A glow of triumph filled her heart.
She had not waited In rain. How
many times she had been told that
he was wasting her years by her con
stancy. Even her aunt, with whom
Ihe lived, had expressed doubts of El
tier's faithfulness. . At least. Bhe had
told Elinor that she would do well to
think twice before she let any good
thance to marry slip away from her.
lnd there had been chances, more es
pecially that thrifty farmer, John Tor
rlngton. It was this middle-aged
wooer, sturdy and respected, whom, her
aunt especially favored.
Uut Fllnor's heart was not to be
shaken in Its constancy to her first
lover, the lover who declared himself
when she was still a schoolgirl and
who had gone Into the Fap Western
wilderness to win the fortune fhat was
to brlni? them together. A chance had
been offered him by a distant relative.
He had eagerly accepted It He hoped
to return in a year at the latest. But
fortune was elusive and five years
had passed.
"And la Elmer going to stay here?"
her aunt asked, after she' had heard
the momentous tidings.
"Why. yes," Elinor replied.
"Here in Cllntville?"
"Of course."
"It Isn't much of a settling down
place for a man who has seen the
mmmm
a
mm
"WE AHB FRIENDS OP JUK COL0NM.."
world," her aunt suggested, in her ex
asperating slow way.
Elinor flushed.
"That Is all understood," she said.
"Elincr knows that I would never con
sent to leave my old home and my
friends and go away among those wild
strangers."
"Such things have been done," said
her aunt, sententlously, as she turned
away.
It was a little early for the train,
but every detail In the simple pro
gram of welcome had been arranged.
The pretty cottnge was swept and gar
nished; the. appetizing luncheon was
prepared, and now the gentle Elinor,
her heart beating with anticipation,
sat on the Bhaded porch with her ex
pectant gaze on the road among the
willows.
And then she saw a group of men
there were five of them standing by
the roadside as If not quite sure of
their bearings. Presently they came
forward and disappeared behind the
high hedge.
A moment later Elinor saw them at
the gate. One of them pointed toward
the house. Then the gate was opened
and they came up the pathway In sin
gle file.
It was quite evldeut they were stran
gers. Elinor had time to inspect them
before they reached the porch.
For a moment Bhe was alarmed.
Were these strangers the bearers of
bad tidings? She quietly arose and
stepped forward.
But, no, they were smiling as they
halted and drew up in line. And then
every hat came off as if at a concerted
signal.
It was the youngest man who spoke.
"We are friends of the colonel, from
Montana, Miss Barnes."
"From Montana!" she cried, and
looked at him wildly.
"The colonel Is all right. Miss
Barnes," the youngest man hastily an
swered her. "We managed to get here
a little ahead of him."
"The colonel?" Elinor repeated.
"Col. Morse," the youngest man ex
plained. "Everybody back yonder calls him
colonel," said the stout man.
Elinor gave a little gasp. .
"And you you have come all the
way from Montana?" she cried, and
put out both her hands.
He glanced about at his companions.
"Having given you his promise," the
youngest man resumed, "the colonel
wasn't the man to tell you what ho
was sacrificing. Thut wouldn't be like
hlin. Ho wouldn't toll you what a
foothold he had gained out there and
what a power for good ho had become
and how we all need him. We wouldn't
tell yon that Nature hud fitted him
for a man of action, a pioneer, a build
er, a leader of men. He never hinted
that, the confines of this little town
would be to hlru like prison bars. And,
of course, he didn't tell you that we
want hlru for our Governor, that our
State needs him and that he's the
only man tho friends of reform can
!oct!"
He paused and drew a Quick breath.
BIGGEST raOINE
1 ' .
tr .. .
......
NEW TWENTY-TWO THOUSAND HORSE POWER TURBINE.
Chicago at the preaent moment is distinguished as having within it
limits the largest prime mover In the world! This largest prime mover on
the globe Is the huge turbine engine with which the new Quarry street sta
tion of the Commonwealth Edison Company is equipped and which at 22,000
indicated horse power is to be multiplied by six before the station is com
plete As a matter of fact, two of these 22,000 horse power units already
are dancing the dervish dance In the Quarry street station and the third one
Is In course of erection.
Physically, one of these 22,000 horse power turbines Isn't particularly
big to look at. At a quarter ot a mile It resembles an Iron water tank reot
lng on the ground, and Including base rising to a height ot thirty feet, with
diameter of about fifteen feet But as to Its instdes: Oh, my! Fifteen
thousand horses Inside of It, and every mother's plug of thera running
away!
A horse power, tt will he remembered, Is an old fogy designation of
force that is sufficient to raise 33,000 avoirdupois pounds to a height of one
foot in one minute. With 22,000 horse power exercising the cylindrical
shell the generated power is sufficient to pick up twelve Chicago Sunday
Tribune buildings, each seventeen stories high, hoisting them at the rate
of sixty feet an hour, until at the end of a ten-hour day this 204-story build
ing would be 600 feet above the Dearborn street pavement! For the Trit
une building weighs 60,000,000 pounds, complete and tenanted as it is.
But talking about running on railroad schedules, nothing that was ever
set to rails can compare "with the. speed which 1b developed In each ot the
five turbine wheels Inside the jacket of the engine. Each of these wheels Is
fourteen feet eight Inches In diameter, and each wheel under Initial pressure
ot ISO pounds of Bteum to the square inch makes 730 revolutions a minute.
Putting a wheel of this diameter upon a rail and giving it 750 revolutions
to the minute would make the modern automobile speeder appear so nearly
stationary that you'd have to set stakes in grder to discover that he could
be moving. Six and a half miles a nilnuto would be the turbine schedule,
or two hours and thirty minutes from Chicago to New York. Chicago
Tribune.
The girl was softly crying. Somehow
the words, of this earnest young
stranger Ifcirt her, and yet they filled
her with pride..
"It wis because Elmer Morse would
not tell you these things," the young
est man went on, "that we are here.
We wanted you to know the truth. We
love the colonel and we need him,
lady. We have come here to ask you
to give him back to us. And we want
you, too."
He paused again. The girl had
turned and was looking toward the
roadway.
And then without a word she flut
tered down the steps and the pathway
and disappeared behind the hedge at
the roadside:
"The colonel has come," said Scotty.
"You bhould have talked faster,
Harvard," said the second man.
"You said It beautifully," added the
third man, "but I dunno as 'twas right
to make the girl cry."
"If you'd said another blamed word,"
put In the fourth man, "you'd had me
sninin. too."
Scotty looked at the younger man
anxiously.
"What do you think. Harvard?"
The youngest man retused to venture
any opinion.
"You can tell as well as I can," he
sld.
"It. looked pretty dubious t me,"
Scotty muttered."
"Here they come," said the second
man In a hoarse whisper. "Brace up."
Up the pathway came the tall col
onel and the girl.
His arm was around her waist and
he was so absorbed by her presence
that he did not the waiting group
on the steps.
When he looked up he gave a quick
start and rubbed his hand across his
eyes.
"Where am I?" he cried. Then he
suddamily laughed and gripped the
hands that were thrust at him.
"Welcome to our fair village," said
the irrepressible Scotty.
The tall colonel drew back and
stared at the group In a puzzled way.
"This Is very good of you, boys," he
said.
Then he looked back at the girl.
Her face was pale, but her eyes
were shining.
"I am afraid I haven't made it clear
to our wedding guests how very wel
come they are," she said. "Perhaps I
can make amends later on. Because I
think they are going to know me
much better." She laid her hand on
the colonel's arm In a pretty way.
"You, see, Elmer, you and our friends
here are going buck to Montana to
gether and I'm going with you." Her
voice fchook a little. "And becauue
Montana needs us," Bhe added with a
laugh, "we are all all going to stay
there." W. It. Hose in Cleveland
Plain Dealer.
Bllll Hrrluu.
"I thought you expected Mr. M
here tonight?" said he, looking ovef
her guests. "Why didn't he come?"
"He sent me word he was marrying
to-night," she answered.
"Why should he stay away for a
small matter like that?" asked he.
"This la hU third marriage, Isn't It?"
IN THE WOULD.
TO MAKE HENS LAY.
Mr. Tlmmona Pnta an Original Idea,
Into PracUce.
"I got all these to-day," said Mrs.
Tlmmons, holding out her apron and
showing seven fresh eggs, Mr. Tlm
mons said nothing. There was nothing
for him to say. He knew why Mrs.
Tlmmons showed him tho seven eggs.
because she had been showing him eggs
dntjy since the warm weather began.
It was Just her way of protesting
against his having paid $5 each for a
dozen fine fowls which would thank
lessly ent large quantities of fancy
foods; as thanklessly Inhabited yards
he had specially made for them, and
which produced two eggs per week for
the lot.
Mrs. Tlmmons, on the other hand,
bad bought eight hens and a nonde-
Rrrtpt-Inoklng rooster from a farm,
wagon that passed. They were a badly
assorted lot of hens, no two alike, Imt
they were grateful for the occasional
handful of tnblo scraps she gave them.
and each laid practically dally. It was
maddening.
Sitting In his ofllce next day, Mr.
Tlmmons had an Idea. It was not an
original Idea, but he believed It would
help things along. lie would buy a
few eggs and place them in bis nests,
thereby not only deceiving Mrs. Tlm
mons, but encouraging his hens to lay.
That rvenlng ho took an old negro)
Into his confidence, the agreement
being that every evening he was to slip
in the back gate and place eleven eggs
In the nests.
"Well," said Mrs. Tlmmons next
morning, "your old hens have waked
np. I went back there and they'd laid
eleven egss."
"Sure enough," said Mr. Tlmmons
delightedly. "They're remarkable lay
ers." Next day It was the same. A couple
of days later Mrs. Tlmmons came to
him with the eggs in her apron.
"Those are the most remarkable hens
I ever saw," she said. "I wish mine
were like them."
"It pays to get good stock," said Mr.
Tlmmons,. grandly. "Why, there is a
world of difference between my birds
and those mongrels you have "
"I should say there Is," agreed Mrs.
Tlmmons. "Why, your eleven hens have
laid fourteen eggs to-day, and one of
them Is a goose egg."
"Hah, hah!" cackled Mr. Tlmmons,
weakly. "Somebody's let some other
hens In that pen. They'd better let
my birds alone or I'll kill somebody."
Galveston News.
Only Once.
The grass widow was reading In
come dismay a letter from a youth who
hadn't seen htr for two years.
"If yon haven't married lately," It
read, "I should like to take you out
to dinner, if you will go."
"J, think that's mean of him." she
said. "I have never married but once
tn Chicago."
People in blu towns are bo uvlflsn.
We would rather .live in n Utile town,
where the people sympathize with you
when In trouble, and where, If you
have no trouble, they will look np some
for you.
i Many a widow's heart baa beo
warmed over by an old flam.
