Only Farorltlam TVan.
Qeorge Gould spoke of railway' dlffl
tultles at a recent board meeting.
"A railway finds It Impossible, by
fcaing Just, to please all hands," Mr.
Gould concluded. "There la truth In
tha atory of the commuter who enter
ed a railway superintendents office
with a black frown.
" 'Well, what next?" the superintend
ent said to the man Impatiently. 'By
our new time table don't three addi
tional trains stop nt your station
now?"
" 'Yes, but,' growled the commuter,
'they stop at nil the other little sta
tions, too.' "
Ills Walkln Paper.
"My sister'll be donn In a minute,"
aald little Clarence, who was entertain'
Ing the young ninn in the parlor. "I
beard her tellin' maw a little while ago
that she was goin' to (five yon your writ
ten permission to perambulate to-night.
What do you reckon b1i meant by
thatr
"I think I know, Clarence," laid the
young man, reaching for his hat. "You
may tell her, if you plrnse, that I have
decided not to wait for It."
SORE EVES, weak, Inflamed, red, watery
and swollen eyes, use FUTTIT'S F.YH
SALVE.' All druggists or Howard Bros.,
Buffalo, X. V.
Sarcasm.
Cleaning the Stase.
"We hope," suld the spokesman of
the committee, "to enlist your support
In favor of a clean stage."
"You have It," responded the theat
rical manager, heartily. "Why, almost
every one of my plnys opens with a
girl dusting everything In sight"
Philadelphia I'dger.
Til Cubb Fan: Wonderful Tile
, Remedy Bent free to sufferers by ad
dressing Hen Company, Dept. B5, Min
neapolis, Minn.
THE TURTLE'S HEAD.
Chopped Off, It Iletalna Llfa for m
Number of Honrs.
On the counter, In a porcelain dish,
stood the severed bead of a large tur
tle. "That la rather grewsome," aald a
man who was buying oysters.
The oyster opener glanced at the
'bead carelessly. . .
"It Is a bet," said he. "I bet Gus
'Schmidt that the head would keep
alive twenty-four hours. It' nearly
"twenty-five now since I chopped It off.
Gus la late." But'I win auybow," he
added.
"Where's my money? P:iy me my
money!" a deep voice shouted at thla
moment, and a short man swaggered In.
"Tou've lost, Gus," said the oyater
opener. 'There Is still life in her."
"There is nit," aald Gua Schmidt.
"Xlx on the life."
And he extended a stumpy finger
fearlessly toward the turtle's mouth.
"Gee I"
Startled, amazed, Gus Schmidt leap
ed back. Tor in tha turtle's open eyea
a fierce light bad flashed, the ugly
mouth had opened and shut with a
harp snap, and the head In acme
at range way had advanced an inch or
two toward the tempting finger, much
as a place of atoel advances toward a
magnet
"Thla may surprise you, Gus," satd
the oyster opener, wiping his wet
hands in order to pocket his winnings.
"But it don't surpilse me none. I've
aeen turtle heads keep life In 'em long
er'n this here." Xew Orleans Tlmes
Pcmocrat. Mot a Regular Nlrarod
Employer You'd like to go and apend
a week with friends in the country, would
you, Roger?
Office. Boy Yet, sir.
Employer What's your little game
now, Roger?
Office Hoy Rabbits, sir.
IllKhteoua Wrath.
"What wera those two boys fighting
boutr
"Johnny was trying to show Dicky how
to make a noiseless popgun."
TOOD FACTS.
. What an II. I. Learned.
A prominent Georgia physician went
through a food experience which be
makes public;
"It was my own experience that first
led me to advocate Grape-Xuts food
and I also know, from having pre
scribed it to convalescents and other
weak patients that the food la a won
derful rchullder and restorer of nerve
and brain tissue, as well as muscle. It
Improves the digestion and sick pa
tlenta always gain Just as I did in
strength and weight rery rapidly.
'I was in such a low state that I
had to give up my work entirely, and
went to the mountains of this state,
but two months there did uot Improve
me; In fact, I was not quite aa well aa
when I left home.
"My fowl did not sustain me and
It became plain thut 1 must change,
Then I bt-gnn to uw Grape-Nuts food,
and in two weeks I could walk a mile
without fatigue, nnd In live weeks
returned to my home and practice,
taking up hard work again, hi nee that
time I have felt us well and strong us
I ever did la my life.
"At a physician who seeks to help
all sufferers, I consider It a duty to
make these facts public."
Trial 10 days on Ortie-Nuta, when
the regular food does not seem to sus
tain the body, wlU work miracles.
"There's a Reason."
Look in pkga. for the famous little
book, "The Road to Wellvllle."
Ever read the above letter? A
new one appears from time to time.
T.'iey are genuine, true, and full si
aumaa intercut.
000009000000 0000000000000000
o
o
o
o
9
o
o
o
o
Q
The jPirate of
. By
RUPERT SARGENT
HOLLAND
Author of The Count
Copyright, IDOfJ, by J. tl. Llpplneott
90000000000000COOOOOOOOOOOOO
CHAPTnit IV.
I happened to be silting In my den,
fcrltlng, tlie following aflrrninn. when
glancing out of the big window that loo!;s
up the bench. 1 caught sight of n woman
walking near the water. I picked up my
Mr.ocu.lnrs and focnsM "I them on 1 i r . It
proved to be Minn (trnlmm. dressed In a
riding-habit, and with a bnuid felt h:it
on her head. Mie wis walking iti a
somewhat aimless fashion, skirling the
waves nn though she were playing with
them. I saw her glance omv nt the Ship
and once In the direction of my house.
I put down the glns-cs nnd Inid my
papers aside. When I went down-stairs
I routed Charles out 'if a sound sleep In
the kitchen.
"Do you remember how to m:ike tea
good tea?" I aked him.
"Yes, Mr. Felix. Aren't you feeling
well, sir?"
"Quite well, Pleas make some ten
that shall be ready to nerve in about an
hour, and get out n but of those unity
biscuits. Set the small table In the dining-room
out in front of the door, with
two chairs, and be ready to serve a lady
and myself."
"Yes, Mr. Felix." Charles showed no
surprise, though he had never received
such an order since we had been at Alas
talr. I picked tip a cnp. nnd left the house.
As I did so I noticed Ihit Miss Oraham
had stopped walking nnd was gathering
shells. Half way to her. nnd she was
still absorbed In the shells, which nre
quite iintisunlly beautiful here; three
quarters of the way. and she was still
playing with them. I had almost reached
her, and was raising my cnp to speak,
before she turned and s:iw me. A flush
of surprise rose to her cheeks.
"Good sfternoon."
"Good afternoon, Mr. Hermit. Am I
poaching on your preserves?'
"Not In the lenst . I make you free
of the city."
There wss a light In her blue eyes
which I discovered that I remembered.
L..t , ... 1...
but
a iouna ner mime-mint new and
wonderfully prepossessing. I was taking
stock of It when she Interrupted me.
"I left my horse tied back. In the
woods. Haven't you ever keen a riding
habit before?"
"Yes. I beg your pardon, but It's so
very becoming."
Again th quick flush, and an Instant's
look at the sand. Then she laughed and
shook her rldlng-crop playfully at me.
"Beware. Mr. Hermit. Any man might
say a thing like that, but I expect other
things from you. That's one of the pen
alties of your position: you mast bo dif
ferent. I look for the flavor of romance
and adventure at Alastnir." She laughed
at my puzzled face. "Shall" I go back
home again?"
"No. I will fry to remember. Did vou
come to see the sunset from the cliff?"
"Yes. My aunt has a hendneliA ml
has stayed in bed all day. I bribed our
waiter to save me a little supper and
send It up to my room at 8 o'clock, so,
yon see, i m Tree of the club and din
ner." She spoko Impulsively, as I Im
agined she might do many things, and
glanced at m whimsically to Ree of what
was thinking. She hnd some of the
artlcssness of a child playing trunnt
from school. "I do hate stupid conven
tions, such as chaperons," she added, "es
pecially in summer.
We wslked past my cottaire. ubleh
Miss Graham looked at with much curi
osity, asking me a hundred questions
about It how I had discovered It, why
i nau nougat it, how it was fashioned In
side, and how I did my marketing. I
told her I had the same butcher they had
at tha clnb.
"Oh!" she said. "I half honed vou
lived by hunting and fishing, but I sup
pose you'd rather Indulge In ocnslonal
beefsteaks."
I'd rather live that way." snld I. "but
Charles, my man. wouldn't like that. He
has a very cultivated palate."
hen we came to tha ton of the cliff
I felt like another ltnlhoa discovering tho
I aciIIC. in front of US luy the entrance
to tha river, the sloping awny of the
dunes to the low, level fields of meadow
grass, and the distant background of the
pines. Here and there tho fields were
dotted with beach marshmnllow, windfalls
delicately pink; along tho sedgy banks
grew clumps of cat tails, their brown pen
nons stitr like so much bronze. At a lit
tle landing-stage, where tho river hnd
hollowed out a harbor In tho hnnk, rode
my cat-boat, the sail tightly furled, tha
mast rocking gently with the tide. As
we looked a flock of sand-snipe rose from
the tall rank grasses beyond tho river and
spread themselves like s sail ngnlnst tho
western sky. Nature never looked so ab
solutely peaceful.
'Iok," I snld: a heron, red-legged,
white-bodied, rose from the sedges and
flapped his way up the stream. He called
to his mate, a low, plaintive ciy
"It Is beautiful." said the girl. "I
Gon t wonder .(lint you love it."
"Ixxik," I snid: the sun's kaleidoscope
waa changing, the pule yellows deepen.
Ing, the pinks turning lo reds, to oranges
to brilliant, blazing golds. Again il
stiirieii and softened; r-d and yellow
were sutTron, orange the color of coral
let again, and the whole west was gold
en with a purple border, and lhe:i ns the
purple gamed and the gold sank we couM
sec the army of pines silhoutlod against
the dropping (ire.
1 ney come, the armies come! I cried.
"See the spears, see the cres.ed horse
nieo, nee the Imnners in the reir!"
I turned and her eyes were shiiiin
exulting in the beauty of the scene. Then
we were silent for a time, uniil ihe blaze
hnd Mifletusl and the battle ilmppcd lo a
harmonious pence.
1 found a scat for her. and stretched
myself beside it.
"Tell me what you think." sb said
"the Klories you make up when you come
here night after III."
I bad known bow that view ov the sun
vt quiets, yet J w.is surprised to lind her
so si ill u ml calm. It i-cansl as though
had known each oilier for some time,
1 liuve roii.aiiced to in) self idly from
thai cliff when the yellow ie.ht , over
the sea nnd I In- river ami the pines, an
1 urew upon my memory only to find
well storked. Moreover, 1 learned inur
of the river people, of the binls that liv
in the luiirsh end of the minimis of the
woods. 1 had watch". 1 the purple g ruckle
build hi nest mid tlie blue jay foiage for
swa ouspiiiig uueu lue sum mux was
lastai
r
at Harvard," etc
Company-, All rights reserved
young, ami 1 knew many n story of the
si a gulls. Miss Grnhnin was a Haltering
listener, her Hps slightly parted, her ryes
alight with Interest.
You inns! be hungry," I said nt last.
"lunch nt noon, no supper until 8. I
should like to offer you my cottage's hos
pitality." I W'.ls lunloi'i, for tlie flush flmf 1
M,,,'-r until r. 1
knew would le, nnd was .not disap-
pointed.
"Thank you," she answered, "hut, you
see what would people think If they
looked in your dining-room window and
s.. me tnk ng tea sums wan you i
, ' , " . ' a.mng room
her head so decisive!, that
twnnt t.
She shook
I knew she meant
"At least, we will have a cup of tea
on the beach," I said, "out of doors oh,
a dozen yards from the cottage, where
all the world may see us if they choose."
Splendid; she cried, and, jumping up,
led the way down from the heights.
On the smooth sand some distance
from my door Charles had placed the lit
tle table. Two chairs faced ench other;
pliitcj, napkins, and a center-piece of
bcncli-niiirshmnllows were the decorations,
and my man. ns straight and rigid as an
Kgyptinn idol, stood a short distance off.
Miss Graham gnve a little cry of pleas
ure. "It's like the Arabian Nights!" she ex
claimed. "The whole thing seems to
have sprung out of the sand."
I seated her at the table.
"Yon may servo the tea, Charles,'" I
ordered.
He brought forth the tea-pot, and was
about to pour tho tea into our cups when
Miss Graham expostulated. "It'a the
woman's place to do that!" she exclaim
ed, and Charles surrendered the tea-pot
into her care.
"How ninny lumps of sugar?" she
asked, with the delicate supeiority of a
hostess to a guest,
"Two."
"Will you have lemon or cream?"
There were both; I thanked my stars that
Charles was so thoughtful.
"Lemon.
I received my ten-cup and a moment
later had the satisfaction of bearing Miss
Graham say that the brew was ddliclous.
"And such pretty cups! I don't believe
you're a bit of a hermit, but a very pam
pered old sybarite.
"We use these only on state occasions,
fer our honored gtiests," I explained.
lint I don t feel ns if this were a state
occasion, she answered. 'It seems quite
as though we'd been doing this all sura-
iiici .
"I wish we had," I said
quickly.
"I mean, it seems so usual," she said.
"And yet. In reality, vou hardlv know
ma at all ; why, you haven't even met
Aunt Elizabeth yet."
"No, that's true," I agreed. "But then.
on the other hand, you don't know such
a very great deal about me." I
It's the very fact that we know so
little about each other ia the usual ways.
ana so mucn m ouer ways," ailss ura-
.u , "''".,n'. Bt m7
Interested In tho " Ship and U. history.
yon know."
We are." I answered. "That reminds
me that I was to tell you ail about the
Ship some time."
Yes." She looked off to where the
boat lay shinning like mahogany In tho
jciiiiw aurigiuw, jui uou l you IIlinK
we'd better wait until we're on board
again. The smell of tar and the feel of
1 1 -ft 1 1 ) I fc - . t . I I
the wood will make it so much more
real."
Then, you'll corner " I began, and
stopped, for Miss' Graham was looking
Is. st me at the door of my house. I
turned to see Islip there, a broad smile
reathlng his face.
."Well, well, wcllt" he remarked, ad
vancing. "What a charming Idyl 1 Ileal
ly, I had no Idea when I cams In at the
back door that I should find such a pretty
picture awaiting me in front." He bowed1
to Miss Graham. "Where Is the horse,
Barbara, that goes with your hahlt?
"I left him In the woods. He's used
to staudlng." She turned to mo. "Mr.
Sclden, have you met Mr. Islip?"
Yesterday," I answered. "He lunched
here."
"Yes," put In Islip; "and he gave me
as good a lunch as he's giving you tea.
Really, Seldcn, you re not living up to
your reputation as a recluse." He paused,
looking from Mlns Graham to me, "I
hate an Interloper, but I'm afraid that's I
the part assigned me. wncn you didn't
appear at dinner, and couldn't be found,
I volunteered to bant. I was getting
quite worried over the disappearance.
Your Aunt KUiabeth
"Is 111 In bed with a headache," said
Miss Graham.
Quite so; so we didn't like to tell ber.
I took all the responsibility on myself."
I may have looked somewhat sharply
at Isli; at these words, for when I turn
ed to the girl I caught an amused gleam
In her eyes.
Thank you, Ilodney. Aunt Elizabeth
would thank yo.i, too, if she knew.
The young man flushed and bit his Up.
Miss Graham hud a provoking tone when
she wished. I Mt sorry for him.
Won't you sit down and have some
tea?" 1 asked.
He shook bis head. "I must lie getting
back, now I have found her."
He was too polite to look at bis watch,
but we both knew what he was thinking.
"I left my horse In your back yard.1
Miss Graham rose. "I must go, too
Thank you, Mr. Seblon, for the sunset
nnd the leu. Mr. Islip will find my horse
and go back with me." Her eyes were
dancing ns she looked from one to the
other of us men, and I hardly wonder,
lor I felt distinctly out of sorts all of
a Kiulilcti, ami lslnis race wish t as
dwn-ful as usuuL
c buries lirooebt Tsllo's horse down to
uie iH-ncn, anu we inree ".niKen up m me
point in the pines whe.-e .miss t.ranain
llllil it'll nrr iimhiiii. i in'ir v cr bcii u
llv Ih. unv Kelden" said Islin. t1.
inni-Lefs .tinkv- si, in. mm all vesterdav
and started in to-dav. Better look out
for a Miuall." He giiuned us he disau-
peared.
Charles was clearing away the remains
of the tea-party when 1 returned
Sorry. Mr. Felix," wid bo. "I tried
to keep the gentleman away, nut be
would come out. Said be wanted to see
you on pressing bushiest. '
That's all rlaht. Churls. He came
to get my guest We couldn't' have eat
thre drinking tea all night."
"No, of course not sir, of conrse not."
T turned to do Indoors. "By tha way,
Charles, that tea waa splendid ; you did
yourself proud.
By the time supper was finished I wss
still thinking about tha Tenguin Club,
which was s very slngulnr thing, becauss
ordinarily I had no use for the place.
(To b continued.)
RAISE CHILDREN OR TOIL.
FcnnnmUt ftnrs That On Thine or
the Other Most He Hone by Wives.
In the way of practical plans for the
amelioration of conditions leading up
to unhappy matrimony, two interesting
suggestions have been forthcoming In
recent weeks, anys the New York Her
nld. One of thorn happens to be only
n new variation of the old proposition
of taxing the unmarried, but the other,
by Prof. Patten of the University or
i,.0,i,.i ,itlre1v dlf-
t(t,l ,1.., that In all
families where there nre no children
the women ahotild bo bread earners.
Tho iw0 ew" ,,,n ' the matter fob
low :
That wives should bo largely self-
sutmortlng la tho view taken by Dr.
R)0n Nelson Patten of the chair of
economics of the University of Tenn-
ylvanla. He came hero last week to
tell the League for Political Education
of his Ideae and returned to Pbllndel-
I'llla. where he Is at present the center
of a storm of criticism.
The doctor, whom I saw yesterday,
still maintains that his wife should go
out to do a day's work, as ber husband
does, so that by the Joint Income the
family revenues may be kept at a fig
ure large enough to Insure a good
homo and the proper care and educa
tion of the children. lie finds that wo-
men of nil ranks of life nre entering a
leisure class, to the diminution of the
birth rate, the degeneration of society
nnd the peril of the Btate.
"It nil resolves to this." said he,
"that woman Is ceasing to become a
producer in an Industrial way. Her
work lias been taken away from her.
In other generations she worked. With
the Introduction of machinery and of
the department stores much of her vo-
cation baa been taken from her. A
large part of the work which was
once hers Ig now done outside of the
house. Once she made clothes and
oven wove the cloth from which she
fashioned garments. She went Into the
gnrden and raised vegetables; she
milked the cows. There was a time
when tho farmers sneered nt the mnn
who milked. A womnn always did
that. I have traveled extensively
through tho farming districts of the
West without ever having seen a farm
er's wife milk a cow.
'Formerly the woman was the man's
Industrial partner. Her work now hns
gone out of the home and nothing re
mains for her but) to leave the home in
search of It. There is no use for her
to wnte her time In frvlnc to do that
whJcn , now Mnf( bptter nnd niora
cheaply done by other means.
"It is far better that she should toll
fionl remunerative occupation ana
ve ,0 otlier agencies tlie production
of articles for household consumption.'
Division of Labor.
"Got any work this mornin', Mlstah
Bovd?" asked old Billy Bulger, safe
n the knowledge that no work would
pntriisted to him.
"No," was the response; and then,
befrC I51,ly f0r ,?8 TT
ary contribution : "But wait a minute.
Lawyer Phillips nas owed me -:u ror
twenty years. Collect it and 1 11 give
you half." And the merchant, knowing
how bad was the debt, winked at a
Woitini customer.
o
The old man found the lawyer in the
middle of a group of prospective clients
nnd influential citizens. Thrusting
through the group, he called, in sten-
torlnn tones:
"Mlstah rhilllps, nun!"
"Well?" queried tho lawyer, much
annoyed.
'Mlstah Boyd done tell me that
you've owed him $20 for nbont a hun-
Hrea ycanr' an1 1,0 wants to know k,n
you pay mm, Bun.
Tho lawyer hurried to Billy's side.
"You idiot," he said sotto voce, "do
you want to ruin my business? Here!"
and he thrust n $10 bill luto the old
man's hand.
Back to the merchant toddled the old
man.
"Well, Billy," said the merchant,
"did you get it?"
The old man grinned.
"I got my half, all right," he
chuckled; "but you'd better look out
when you go back to get your half
he's right smart hot over it, suhl"
gur.cess Magazine.
Hlpenluar Dananaa.
It is a familiar fact that bananai
are imported green, but it came as a
new tnlng t0 a vl8tor to the banana
district in Colombia to find that ba
nnuis are not permitted to ripen on
tho plant even down there. They are
cut and set to hang somewhere until
they wither ripe, as the phrase Is. Ba
nanas do not have to be yellow to
be ripe. That is only the color or the
skin when it has dried up. To the
person who is accustomed to eating
bananas only when they are yellow it
seems odd to peel them when they are
green and find that they are perfectly
rlpo within and fit to eat.-
-New York
Sun.
Unreasonable,
'Mv husband Is so very unreason
at i!e.
"Most husbands are. What did yours
i,o .'
lie fixed a fishhook in one of his
pockets because ho pretended to sup
pose that I robbed him at night, and
then he blamed uie becauso he forgot
it was there,' Cleveland I luln Dealer,
Coarsely UeBned
..WuBt , tUe aistlugulsblng quality
i . . , ..
OI Uie prouil-IU f..., .
Tlie first half
mnn jwi iiuun
Weeps you wondering what the quea-
turn is, and the second nan aeeps you
guessing what's the auswer. Wasn'
I lngtou Star.
Tha Hoostera.
Kulckcr Did you sleep well In the
country?
Booker No; there were too inanjf
cuckoo clocks In the tuoruUiv
11
O ood
Short Storie
ry 1 . jj .fin-Aim : t ! : a., a?
Mrs. Nurlcli was in the Jewelry store.
"Here are some new souvenir spoons
we have Just got In," said the clerk,
placing n trny for her Inspection. "Oh,
ain't those lovely!" she exclaimed. "I
must have some of those! Our cook
nmkes such lovely souvenir!"
Others may have said the same thing,
b'.it this rulher unsympathetic comment
Is ntttlliuted to the late Judge Hoar:
"Are you going to attend the funeral
of General Butler?" n frleial asked him.
"No." was tln calm reply. "No, I nin
not going to attend but I heartily ap
prove of It."
When Bonaparte Blubell iiunounced
bis engagement to Lily I)oo everybody
in the Mucksniltli'H shop congratulated
him on winning such n hard-working
and forehanded ninte. But l'.rastus
Coke remarked : "i'enred lak you
wouldn't never speak up, Bonnpnrfe.
It's going on six months Hence you be
gun to fiddle rotin' Lily." "Dat'a so,"
Bonaparte frankly ndmltted, "hut I
didn't lose innli Job till las' night."
An enlisted man at the post of Four
Leavenworth was not long ago ordered
to the range for" the first time for tar
get drill. Out of twenty-one chances
the newcomer never made a lilt. "Oh,
you dub!" exclaimed an ollleer stand
Ing near. "You've missed the target
every time! What's the matter''"
"Well, sir," nnswered tho recruit, non
chalantly, "the only reason I can think
of at present Is that the person who
set up my target hasn't placed It In a
Htrstlght line from here."
One of the leading comediiinB of the
Frankfurt Theater In Germany went
to the director and naked for an ad
vance on bin week's salary. The books
showed that the whole amount had al
ready been drawn, nnd the director
said "No." "Very good," said the nc
fl r; "then I shall refuse to go on to
night." The director 8nw that it was
dangerously near curtulu time and re
luctantly gnve the actor the amount
naked fur, but said: "Kemotnber, sir,
thla Is nothing short of extortion, nnd
a cowardly one nt that." "Not at all,
Herr Diicctor," said the actor, stuffing
the money In his pocket, "my name Is
not on tho bill for to-night, anyway."
Sir Charles Wyndhaui (speaking nt
a dinner) told of a young man he once
heard of who was paying attention to
a lady, to the great disgust of her
father, who remonstrated very
kindly with him. The father said: "If
I see you in this house again I shall
kick you out." The young man cnnio
back the very next day. "I told you
what would happen," said the father,
nnd It did happen. The young man
did not appear for about five weeks,
nnd then one day the father suw him
coming towurd the house, nnd immedi
ately went and opened the front door.
"Haven't you hnd enough?" said the
old man. "Have you come again to
aeo my daughter?" "No, no," replied
tho other. "1 have come on behiilf of
the president of our football club."
On the relief train that hud been
rushed- to the scene of a railway wreck
was a newspaper reporter, remarks the
Chicago Tribune. The first victim he
paw was a man whose eyea were In
mourning and whose left arm was In a
tiling. With bis lialr full of dirt, one
end of his Hhlrt collar flying loose, and
his coat ripped up the back, the vie
titn was sitting on the grass and se
renely contemplating the landscape,
"How many people ure hurt?" asked
the renorter. hurrying up to him. "1
haven't heard of anybody being hurt,
voting man." said the other. "How did
this wreck happen?" "I haven t heard
of nnv wreck." "You haven't? Who
nre you, anyhow?" "I don't know that
it's any of your business, but I'm the
claim agent of the road."
NORSEMEN DRILL ON SKIS.
Wonderful Keats Performed by Sol'
dlrra In Winter Time.
No other army In the world is so
well prepared for u winter campaign
as Is the little Norwegian army, be
cause none other has been so well
trained to the use of skis and to cam
pnlgnlng hi severe weather. Nearly all
Kuropean armies have their ski divl
slon, but the rank and file Is not given
the drill under arctic conditions, as arc
the soldiers of Norway.
The skill attained ill handling the
ski Is marvelous and the evolutions of
a command mounted on these long
woiKlen skates Is more Interesting than
any other feature of military drill.
To a ski runner moving along with
his long, gliding movement, one would
not suspect that he could "about face"
almost as quickly ns n soldier in n drill
hall. The first sight of a ski company
obeying a command to 'bout face Is be
wlldering. and the thing must be re
peated several times before the spec
tutors will understand how It is done,
F.von then lie will marvel how the men
etui get around so quickly.
The Norwegian soldiers are taught to
do long marching carrying with them
provisions and artillery, and think noth
Ing of a long march In the most rigor
ousf weather, making their homes in
their canvas tents at night. Their skis
enable them to make their way over
any kind of country, and no matter
what the depth of the snow, cover a
given dlstam-e In much shorter time
than the average Infantry on the
inarch.
Of late the ski work of the Nor
wegian army has been given much con
sbleration by the military students, w ho
realize that there Is much more than
mi iMilertiilnlng outdoor diversion In
the use of the Norwegian snowshoes
It is for tlie same reason Hint every
country having snow In winter Is edu
eating Its so.d'.crs to do effective work
in that portion of the year which Is
usually spent in garrison. Minneapoll
loiirtial.
OLD MASTERS OF MTJSJC.
Karlr Mslrri of Melodies and llasw
uuuy t'rnlurt of Programs.
The tendency exhibited among think
Ing ai'tlsi In America lo offer works
of tho old muster uikui their pro-
grams represent also perhaps the most
conspicuous feature of the present mu
sical life abroad, says a writer in the
orum, where the dearth of contem
porary musical compositions of a high
order seems to warrant these revivals.
hleh have taken place both In the
field of opera and in that of purely
Instrumental or choral music. The gen
eral revival of earlier works is spread
ing all over Kuropo. Though a modern
art music, strange to any, Is already
engaging the researches of the anti
quary In nearly every country on tho
continent.
There are many reasons for this In
teresting phenomenon. In the first
place, It Is far easier for n musical
manuscript to get lost than it Is fur
piece of statuary or a painting.
Then, again, it was formerly somewhat
difficult for some of our great coiuhs
ers always to get their works Into the
hands of publishers. The relations be
tween the usually unpractical musician
and the commercial Intermediary who
undertakes to print the works and
bring them before the public furnish
an interesting chapter to the history of
the art. .
Finally and this, after all. Is the
ralsou d'etre of the numerous research
es now on foot th. grout musician Is
rnrely or never fuily recognized during
his lifetime, ot, Indeed, until a long
time after his death. The frequent
nppearance of a man's name in public
prints, or even n general performance
of bis works, can hardly be nocoptod
ns Implying thorough recognition In the
full sense of the term. It would be
possible to point even to very modern
names In substantiation of this state
ment. We have got Into the habit of
considering our age as a sort of final
ity, ns something surpassing nil that
has ever gone before. Yet. making nil
due allowance for greater facility of
communication and more rapid dissem
ination of facts, the principle of com
pensation is still in oiK'ratiou and. In
the deeper sense, much remains Intrin
sically unchanged.
Bach, like many of our modern mu
sicians, also had his friends and pat
rons. His name was widely known a
fact attested by the circumstances that
he was even invited to play befora
Frederick the Great. Yet nearly half
n century had elapsed after his denth
before the world even begun to realize
that It hud lost In him one of the great
est masters of all time. Hence we cau
well account for the worthy nnd com
mendable researches of that host of in
vestigators abroad who nre now en
deavoring to recover from oblivion
many rare gems of former centuries.
Germany and Austria have their
Denknmler der Tenkutist ;' Belgium
may boast of n Cevaert ; in France the
wor,r is conducted by men like IMcnier ;
Spain has its indefatigable Pedroll, and
Italy is represented by men like Torclil
and Chilessottl. The last mentioned
alone has recovered many long-forgot'
ten dances of the sixteenth century,
which, by their form, may stimulate,
nnew the endeavors of modern com
posers; for the dance, as we know, bus
ever exercised n most powerful influ
ence upon tho development of music.
The results of these researches are to
be found In colossal volumes represent"
Ing many treasures of past times.
SOME CURIOUS WAGERS.
Freak net Won and Lost by tb
Conservative llrltou.
In the yenr a farmer laid a
wager that lie would eat two d-Msea
penny mutton pies and drink a gallon
of ale lu half an hour, a feat which he
easily performed well within the speci
fied limit, says the London Standard.
In about half an hour afterward he de
voured a 3-penny loaf and a pound of
cheese nnd then attacked a leg of pork.
A few yenrs later, when the prlnca
regent was enlivening Brighton with
his vagaries, tho notorious Sir John
Lade made his celebrated wager that
he would carry Lord Cholmondeley ou
his back twice around the Steine. As
Sir John was short and his opponent
tall, much curiosity was aroused, and
many spectators. Including ladies, came
out to see, but were all balked of th
spectacle by the knight declining to
bear the nobleman except in the min
imum of clothing, declaring that there
was nothing In tlie conditions culling
upon him to carry extra weight.
Of quite another kind was the wager
ing by u man (hat lit! would stand nil
day upon London bridge Willi a I r.i.vi'ul
of new sovereigns, but be tillable to svM
them nt a penny apiece, and. like Sir
John Lade, he won his wager. Fancy
dress balls fire still a fuvoii'le amuse
ment wltii people nnd many i u.-i i n 1 :i 1 ul
curious designs nre to be seen at such
assemblies, but here again there is noth
ing new, for, to oii ite only one instance.
In ISOti a curious wuger xuis laid be
tween two men as to who should as
sume Uie most singular character. Tin
winner paraded with his coat and
waistcoat decorated -with banknotes of
different values, a row of ."-guinea
notes and a netted purse of gold
adorned his hat, while on his hat an
peared a piece of paper with the word
John Bull.
the loser would certainly appear lo
have Ikhmi more original still, for he
appeared dressed like a woman on one
side, one-half of his face being painted
and the other half blackened to re
semble that of a negro. On one leg
he wore a silk stocking anil a slipp"t'
and on . I he other halt a pair of linen
breeches, a boot anil spur, while hi
was also adorned with half a long
tailed linen coat.
Matlsfurtury Kiidlnu-.
"How was your speech received nt
the cluti.' usueit one or liumley s
friends as they walked along llu
Broadway at 1 Inincrsinlt h.
'Why, I ney congrai mated me very
heartily. In fact, one of the member
came to me and told me that when I
sat down he hud suhl to himself It
was the best thing I had ever done
- Til Pits.
Ilr Koltrd It.
The Lady- -Why Is tlie average man
kin h a fool?
The Gent I haven't an Idea
The Ijniy And me average man
hasn't, either 1 guess that's the an'
sweiv- Cleveland Leader.
Women seldom Jump at conclusions
because they seldom conclude.
Tfvu-w V- .f v- V o- K7
(
S Old Favorites 3
n ?
SI. Patrick. Warn n (irollemnn.
Siilnt Patrick was a gentleman, and h
came nf decent pcopl;
In Dublin town lie lurll a church nnd he
put upon'! a steeple.
His father was a Wollognn, his mother
was a Grady ;
His aunt she was a Kinnignn and hi
wife tlie widow Brjtly.
( 'horns
Then success to bo'.d faint Patrick, fol
be was a saint so clever.
He gave the snakes and loads a twist,
nnd banished I hem forever.
There's i:ot a mile In Ireland's Isle where
the dirty vermin in;ilers.
Where'er he put bis dear forefoot he mur
dered Ihem in clusters.
Tlie toads went Imp. the fror.-i went flop,
slnKlash into the water. 1
And the snakes conmi'.lted suicide lo save
themselves frovi slaughter.
Nine hundred thousand reptiles blue, he
charmeil with sweet discourses,
And dined on them at Knl-la-loe in soups
and second courses.
When blindwnrms. crawling in the grass,
disgusted all tlie nation.
He gave them a rise which op'ed their
eyes to a sense of their situation.
The Wicklow hills nre very high, and so's
the hill of Ilonth. sir ;
But there's a hill much higher still, ay,
higher than them both, sir;
'Twas on tho top of this high hill Saint
Patrick preached the sarment ;
lie drove the frogs into the bogs and
bother'd nil the varmint.
Oh ! was 1 but so fortunate as to be back
in Munster,
'Tis I'll be found that from that ground
I never more would once stir;
For there Saint Pn trick plnnted turf,
and plenty of the praties;
With pigs galore, ma gin, ma 'store and
cabbage and fine ladies.
The Ship of State.
Thou, too, sail on, O Ship of State I
Snil on, O Fnion. strong nnd great!
Humanity with all its fears,
With all the hopes of future years,
Is hanging breathless on thy fate.
We know what Master laid thy keel.
What workmen wrought thy ribs of steel
Who made each mast and sail and rope,
What anvils rang, with hammers beat,
In what a forge nnd what a heat
Were shaped the anchors of thy hope!
Fear not each sudden sound and shock,
'Tis of tlie wave and not the rock ;
"1'ls but the Hupping pf the sail,
And not n rent made ny the gale.
In spite of rock and tempest's roar.
In spite of false lights on the shore,'
Sail on, nor fear to breast tho sea !
Our hearts, our hopes, our prayers, out
tears,
Our faith triumphant o'er our fears,
Are all with thee nre all with thee I
-Henry Wadsworth Longfellow.
A PIANO-VIOLIN.
Played I.Ike Piano, Itut Sounds Like
a Violin.
From Austria-Hungary, whence coruo
so many things musical, comes a new
musical instrument which is known as
tho piano-violin. It looks like a harp.
sounds like a violin nnd is played like
a piano. As shown In the cut tho
upper portion of the Instrument con
sists of a series of strings, each of
STRINGS MK1.T THE IIOW.
which Is operated by one of the keys
on tho piano keyboard. Across these
strings runs a traveling band, which
performs tho functions of a bow,, ex
cept that in the case of this Instru
ment tho strings come out to meet the
bow instead of the bow- moving back
and forth from the strings. Fach
string Is attached to a pivoted arm, and
as the key is struck tlie arm moves out
ward and the htrlug conies In contact
with the traveling hand, producing the
sound of a bow scraping a fiddle
string. A spring pulls the arm buck
Into place when the pressure on tho
key Is relieved nnd a pedal at the bot
tom of the instrument regulates tho
ound.
The American College Student.
Privy Councilor .mil., on his return
to Berlin, after a three months' visit to
the United States, delivered a lecture
before the students of the Industrial
high school of that city. In which ho
had much to say in praise of Ameri
can students and of the college sys
tem under which they were trained.
"Our students," bp said, "can help
themselves tinunclull.v only by teach
ing. The American student has the ad
vantage in 1hls respect, because, with
out losing caste or dignity, ho can
break slone. act as a waller or porter,
or do work at any trade. It Is not nil
Infrequent occurrence, that a young
man neis as n waiter at a gathering
of I pie where be Is reicived ns an
equal as soon as his i lentul iluilcs have
jeeu performed.''
lxerii Keeord of Tree.
There are s.",..s-u trees in fans ami
each tree bis its lot number, age. hls
lory and comliiiou recorded in tho
ImmiKs at the City Hall. Tlc appropria
tion for tills department is S'.i'nmo u
year.
liut 1 1 Dor.
'Speaking of poetry, docs the nuslerii
School make r.s think V"
' "Well, it makes us bustle for the dic
tionary that Is, those of us who have
liny curiosity ut nil." I.ulsville Cou
rlcr-JouruaL
liilr
VTj 'lUmNTWWTIlTrSS
