Dakota County Herald
Dakota crrr, neb.
JOHN II. R.H, . Publisher
No ninn ever had a cold tnat a thou
land other men couldn't cure In thirty
tnlnutea.
The present Cwr of Russia baa
(eached the ripe old ago for a Czar
f 40 years.
Wizard Burbank might render a val
Vwble service by developing a Ma
tkmlees Gould family.
Why la It that "strange tongue pro
phecies" never foretell anything that
ia grana ana glorious i
As the years roll by everybody will
be anxious to hear bow that girl who
married the first man she met is get
ting along.
Those old timers who accumulated
big fortunes couldnt afford to bother
with divorce courts. It was much
more convenient to live happily.
If Prince Hello de Sagnn says many
core unpleasant things about the news
papers they will retaliate by omitting
all mention of him In their columns.
- London, It appears, does not under
stand George Ade's "College Widow,'
but then there are a good many Ameri
cans who cannot solve the mystery of
the "rah-rah boy."
Andrew Carnegie says the United
Btates has the worst monetary system
In the world. Yet some men have ac
cumulated quite satisfactory wads of
money under that system.
The latest news from Breathitt
County, Ky., Is to tho effect that the
undertakers still get en occasional Job
or two with the assistance of men with
a grudge against each other.
If an American countess will go
boating on the Laborcsa River near
Oeremezoe, Puszta and Ferencys she
must expect to have the boat tip over
Ot some other disaster happen.
A Baltimore doctor who operated on
a man for npendlcitls discovered thnt
the victim's appendix had previously
been removed. We are assured that
the operation was entirely successful.
"Why be downcast?" asks the In
dlanapolls News. "At least you don't
nave any tire troubles with your lawn
tnower." Oh, don't wet Perhaps you
flon't know how the machine tires us
, very few days.
Young Vanderbllt, In bis character
of "whip," drives a coach and collects
fares from his passengers. He Is mere
ly reverting to first principles. His
Illustrious ancestor, the commodore,
made many a dime in his early days as
a ferryman.
It la Inherently misleading to say
that our general business prosperity
"came with the prosperity of the rail
roads" as If the railroads had created
their own prosperity first and had then
Invited the country at largo to share
In it, or bad set a pace In prosperity'
Disking that the general business of
tne United States was quick to catch
op with and follow.
One of the largest cantilever bridges
In the world will be opened to the pub
lic in the. early autumn, when tho
bridge connecting Manhattan Island
with, Long Island, by way of Black'
well's . Island, is completed. The
bridge will be in three spans, the long
est of which is nearly twelve hundred
feet Tho spans of the Firth of Forth
cantilever bridge are each seventeen
hundred foot long. The new bridge
carries two floors. On the lower one
there will be four tracks for surface
cars and a driveway for carriages.
There will be four tracks for elevated
cars on the upper floor, besides two
foot paths. This is the third bridge
across the East River between Man
batten and Long Island, but It will
not be the last Work la progressing
rapidly on a fourth one, between the
old Brooklyn Bridge and tho new WI1
llamsburg Bridge. -
We start out in life with a definite
i amount of possible energy. We can
pend It as we please; but even with
the best Intentions many people use up
a largo part of their capital in worry.
anxiety or by fretting over nonessen
tlals trifles which have nothlug
whatever to do with their success.
Many people go through life without
ever getting full possession of them
selves. They do not seem able to
grasp their possibilities; they never
develop the faculty of flinging their
lives out with force and effectiveness
along the line of their lient. They can
use some or their faculties to advant
age, and can do some things fairly
well, lmt never come to a full know
edge of their possible strength. If we
could only learn to control our thought
force and to spend it where it is need
ed, instead of allowing it to ooze out
r leak away In driblets on unlmpor
taut matters, what marvels we might
accomplish! Some people s;eiid half
the power they generate In val
worry, bickering, splitting hairs over
Irrelevauctcs. Much of our possible
auccess-euergy is wasted through fear,
which In all Its phases Is tho greatest
curse to tho human ruee fear of full
ore, fear of Imaginary conditions and
taapieulngs that never come oliou
dread of criticism and foreldini:
about tho futurp. Countless jtromlslug
lives have been wrecked by this
gloomy phantom, fear. Could we m11
put sway all of these Illusions and
trlvlaitles, which drain our life forces,
and devote nil of our energy to the es
sential thiugs that lie ever close tit
band, the progress of humanity would
be amazing.
Tho failure of Hurry Thaw to ob
tain h!s rcleusa from custody is
blghly desirable outc(;ii:s f ih bribe is
corpus proceed hits Instituted In bU be
half. Tin-re Is no doubt the effect upon
public uplr.lM) already sulBcisutly
cynical as to the cClclcncy and recti
tude of our laws would have been of
the worst If Thaw had proceeded so
promptly from tlie dock to absolute
freedom. Only one Interpretation
would have been put upon this se
quence by the average American
namely: thnt evasion of law Is the
secure privilege of the rich. The rough
reasoning of the public at large would
have brushed aside the possibility or
recovery and would have struck
strnlirht at the fact that by a liberal
expenditure from the Thnw millions
experts and shrewd counsel had flrst
saved Thaw from the consequences of
his net by establishing one hypothesis
and then saved him from the conse
quences following upon this hypothofila
by repudinting It Insane deluslljn
sometimes is cureo. nut me juoge
who committed Thaw to Matteawan
gave It as his opinion, bnsod upon the
opinion of authorities In alienism, that
Thaw's type of aberration was Incur
able. Tills declaration would have
given to the popular opinion a final
certainty thnt Thaw had evaded the
aw. Happily the public has escaped
this disturbing conclusion and the ad
ministration of Justke has been saved
from another blow in the popular estl
matlln. It Is devoutly to be hoped
that, not only for the safety of those
upon whom a reenrranoe of Thaw's
mania might be wreaked but for the
welfare of, tho jublta tit large, the
courts of New fork will not take
chances with his case. When Thaw Is
proved sane and permanently cured
beyond a reasonable doubt, lot him be
allowed to go free, not not till that
proof is given.
"SUMMER COMFORT I"
This Is the very latest for the 1003
summer glrL She must wear a collar
that cuts the neck and shuts off her
hearing, skirts that have enough ma
terial In them to make a gas bag for
Roy Knabenshue'a airship, and a hat,
big as a woshtub, that requires a
course In Juggling to kocp it balanced
straight. '
LI re Savlnu- and Law.
The Roumanians are as curious in
some things as the Chinese. A girl
who fell Into the river and was swept
down by tho current finnlly seized a
bush on tho bank and drew herself to
shore. The owner of the land on which
the bush grew immediately claimed a
roward of 4 shillings beeuuso his bush
was there and had saved her. IIW fa
ther refused to pay, and there was a
lawsuit. What tho law has to decide
Is whether drowning people can make
use of bushes on the bank without pay
ing for tho same, or whether the assist
ance of the said bush Is worth a cer
tain sum of money.
In China if a person falls into the
water no ono must help him out, but
at the samo time n spectator can bo Im
prisoned for not advising tho victim to
stay on dry land.
Donch,
Dough Is made out of wheat, reni
estate, oil, literature and magazine ar
ticles. But dough mude of wheat Is no
stickler than any other. Dough Is the
prior fact to bread, motor! ears, steam
yachts and collections of old books. It
Is tho staff of high life. It embitters
matrimony and purveys tho lovely
scandals we read about. It gets girls
sent off to college and fitted to be
something more siectaeular thun mere
wives and mothers. It eurseth them
thnt go In for It, but not unto the third
and fourth generations. We ore too
good spenders for that. It Is from
dough that the dowdy, the dull and tho
dotty derive distinction otherwise de
nied. Puck.
In the Sprlnir, Etc.
"Perhaps It's ovorsonsltlveness on nv$
part," remarked tho old bachelor, "but
from this time on until autumn sets In
again In earnest I anr going to be eon
tlnuully embarrassed by public love
muking. Last Sunday nfternoon I went
for my usual stroll In the park, and I
suffered any number of minor shocks
from coining on couples iooulng on
the benches along the paths. Later on
I had to ride down town In the subway,
and I saw two more couples talking
Into each other's faces as If there
wasn't a human being within a mile
of them. Of course they don't mind
ine. But I hate to ho put In the attl
tude of an Intruder on love's young
dieam.
So TbouHhlfut.
Nell Yes, the count Is attentive t
her. She admired some roses she saw
In n florist's window they were pnssln
yesterday, so he had some sent up t
her -
Belle How thoughtful !
Nell Yes; C. O. D. The Catholic
Standard uud Times.
A Ciooil Man.
"our aeim uusuuua wor a good
mon," declared the sympathetic Mrs.
Casey to tho .bereaved widow.
"He wor!" exclaimed Mrs. Murphy,
dashing the tears from her eyes. "Xo
two polkemln end handle him." Judge,
It's uo wonder children are so con
trary; Just look at their parent.
nrniir-f.r
FACTS IX TABLOID F0E2I.
The Iee enn out fly the pigeon.
Tho mole will starve to death In a
day.
Fishluxiks have been made on pre
cisely the same design for 2,000 years.
The oldest Roman Catholic college In
the United States Is Georgetown Col
lego, Georgetown, D. C.
Hasheesh, which In its effect Is much
tlic same, as opium, is prepared from
the gum taken from hemp.
Tillman Ford, of Salem, Ore,, pro
vided In his wM that gold watches to
cost $125 each should be given to thlr-ty-tilne
lntlmnte friends.
In 1731 Benjamin Franklin founded
the Library Company of Philadelphia,
which he called "the mother of all
North American subscription libraries."
The regnttns at Henley are held in
July. Henley Is In Oxfordshire, about
thirty-five miles from London. As long
ago as 1820 the Oxford-Cambridge race
was rowed there and In 1839 the flrst
regatta.
Tho treatment by vegetables is the
latest dietetic fnd. It Is affirmed that
vegetables have a considerable Influ
ence upon the physical and moral well
being of those who ent them and that
they will cure mnny maladies.
The fact Is not generally known that
some of the most Imposing snow moun
tains In the world He within the limits
of the United States. I refer to the
great peaks of Alnskn, at least one of
which, Mt McKInley, Is over 20,000 feet
high, while Mt St Ellas Is over 18,000.
There are three black fox farms war
Atherton, Prince Edwarf Island, where
these animals are raised for their skins.
These farms contain twenty, twenty
five and thirty foxes, respectively. The
skins are sold in London at prices
ranging from $500 to $1,800 etch, ac
cording to quality.
One of the seven fine old oaks In
Salcey forest Buckinghamshire, has
been burned to the ground. It is sur
mised thnt visitors to the forest made
a ptailc fire In the hollow trunk, and
the result was the complete destruc
tion of the tree, which Is said to be
eight hundred years old. SiUcey Is the
second great royal fotest and has be
longed to the crown slnec the conquest
London Dally Mnll.
Pierre Lot!, who has ransacked most
parts of the glol In search of im
pressions, and whose sketches of Eust
eni life are among the most delightful
things In modern literature, has lately
visited Egypt and found disillusion'
luent In the hind of the Pharaohs. He
tried hard to project himself Into the
tranquil Immemorial past but the
noises of the present kept breaking In
upon his meditation.
A remarkable custom which has been
uninterruptedly In force for three hun
dred years has Just been observed at
Ideford, a secluded parish a few miles
from Chudlelgh. It Is that of picking
up alms from the donor's tomb in the
churchyard. The rector and church
warden stand at ono end of tho tomb
upon the flat top of which they place
coins. The recipients of the charity
come up one by ono to the other end
of the tomb and pick up the money.
London Standard.
Denmark has nearly 200,000 farms
and farm gardens of ten acres or less,
and about 100,000 farms of between
ten and fifteen acres. There are less
thun 1,000 farms In the entire king
dom of 500 acres or over, the aggre
gate of these last named being less
than a million ucres. There are 1,083
co-oporatlvo dairies, with 158,170 mem
bers, and a co-operative egg exporting
society with 500 hx-al centers. The
business transacted by these co-opera
tlve concerns is enormous. Indiana
Farmer.
Boston has taken a whack at the
nutomoblllsts, following New York'i
example in excluding from Its purkg
motor cars equlpiicd with tiro chains
or metal covered tires. The Metropoll
tan Park Commission of Boston has de
elded that the antiskid devices on the
heavy cars tear up the parkways fast
er than an army of men can repair
them, and has decreed thnt from now
on any chauffeur operating a machine
with spiked, chained or studded wheels
shall be mulcted to the tune of $20.
Sir Henry Druiumond Wolff, in hit
recently published book of "Recollec
tions, " tells a story of Lord Gullluuiore,
famous in legal history as Chief Jus
tice O'Grudy. lu a case ieforo hiiu the
leading counsel for the defense of the
prisoner argued that there was no case
before the jury. Lord Gulllamore wai
ubout to pronouuee Judgment when the
Junior counsel usked leave to uddress
a few words to the court. The Judge
replied, "l will hear you by and by.
Mr. ." The young man said, "But
my lord. It Is on this point that I wlsb
to Address your lordship." Lord Gu'.llu
more rejoined, "1 will heur you by and
by, Mr. Meanwhile, for fear ol
ntvldcnt, I will direct tho Jury to ac
quit your client"
The women of Concord, N. H., tire
struggling to have the word "male"
omitted from the new city charter thai
Major Charles It. Corning has recentlj
npiolutod a committee to draft. It li
asserted that the present charter ol
Concord is one of the most autlqunted
In America. It Is a copy of Boston'!
original charter and among Its provi
sions ure minute directions to the chlet
of police assigning him all sorts ot puri
tanical duties. Witches are warned to
refrain from their sinful practices and
tradesmen against selling rum to Indi
ans. Tho women now say that to pro
hibit them fro'.u voting at this ad
vanced state of the world Is Just ai
antiquated and us Irrational as thi
provisions relating to witches.
Whttro the Trouble l.lea.
The fisheriiiau's spring road Is rouph.
The world's iuclined to doubt him.
But if the tish wan big enough
He'd loll (lie truth ubout him I
Atlanta Constitution.
)rcp! Affecting;.
"And when," said Mrs. Nuvoreesh,
"those French pheasants came by sing
ing the Mayonnaise, It was too deeply
touching for worJs." Success Maga
sin
COSTLY SORT OF MATTRESS.
Kind t'd on n Pints filnvn Wnana
Wnym nl Ifnnilllntf I'lalm.
Frobahly aliout ns costly a sort of
mattress as tiny Is one thnt is made
not to sleep on but to spread on the
long, broad table or platform of the
wagons built for carrying plate g!us:i.
These mattresses, which are mode of
c.irlcd hair, are very thin, scarcely
thicker than a comfortable, and mut
lie made with the greatest enre to In
sure perfect uniformity of thickness.
A lump .lrywhcre wov.il be likely to
break the plate of gias resting upon
it. and there would be still greater
danger If t!if weight of two plates of
glass was rested on tin1 lump nt oiu-i.
A mattress for n plate-glcss wagon
tests according to size from $i;o to $7".
Iii use the comers of small plates car
ried on It cut Into the tl-Uing cover
ing, and sooner or laU-r it liar, to Ic
made over. Simply to make over such
a mattress costs from to $25.
On the table toppul nnd mattrers
covered glass wagons the biggest plates
are carried with confidence nnd safety.
The table Is built to remain absolutely
rlvid. nnd the thin but uniform mat
tress protects the plate from Jar.
Before plate-glass store fronts had
come Into common use. when the bat,
dling of n big plute was counted as n
good deal more of n Joh than It Is now
they used to carry n great pane of
glass In a sort of frame, which v.-ns
put on the wagon with the glass In It.
M Its destination this frame or sup
port was worked carefully across the
sidewalk to the store front, where the
glass was dlslodgpd from It to be s:t:
and altogether the setting of a great
late of glass was then quite nn under
taking.
Now. with the setting of such plates
u common dally occurrence, and with
men skilled in the handling of them,
they simply carry n big plate out, lay
It on their mattress-covered, table-top
ped wagon and carry It to where it Is
to go, and there slide It off, to ret It
for a moment on blocks ou the side
walk, and then they pick It up and
carry It to the window front.
Then they run under the lower edge
of the glass lifting straps, by which
men standing Inside the window -ns
well ns men standing outside can lift
on It when the gluss Is put tnto place
In the window frame. There ngaiu It
Is raised on blocks until the straps
can be withdrawn, nnd then the blocks
are taken out and the glass secured in
place; all this being done with grei-t
care, but still with -comparative ease
nnd quickness, nnd with certainty, and
in these times great panes of glass are
thus moved nnd set on nil but tlia win
diest days. New York Sun.
3000090!
A TRAIL OF BLESSINGS. J-j
3COOO
Gaston Payette was born to oratory,
but fate made him a plasterer. .The
work of his hands was acceptable; but
unless he was entirely without un audi
ence he was certain to waste at least
half his time delivering .lectures, punc
tuated by spatters of moist plaster
dropped from the forgotten tool In hi
bunds.
' "Bah !" he sputtered on one occasion.
striking his favorite attitude and reck
lessly flourishing his trowel. Som
personne ees hall dc talmc talk Ink
dis : 'Me, eef I hown dis lot, me, 1
ould plant som' shrub, som' tree, som'
vine! but hof course dcre ees no usu
for plant som' t-ings hon dis estate
blccnuse we honly rent heem.'
"Bah! P.ah-h-h-h! Dat ees to fink
honly of heemself! But w'y for. I'll
am bask you, mft frleu', mos' som'liod'
be hall de taimo lak dose hog,dosj
peeg, dose pork, w'at consider honly
herself?
"Now, kindly tole ine som't'lng, mad
nme. Who ees plant does happle, dose
Iieach, dose gr-r-r-raio, dose feeg, dose
Mckorv-nut w'erehoff you ees heat dime
fruit? Who ees plant dose bush w'ere-
off you ees smell dose flower? Who ees
plant dose beeg green tree wa'nt null
for you dose shade, dose lumbnlre for
beeld som' house, dose woods for burn
hon top (loso-kltcnen stove? ere you
be now, niadame, eef ever'bod' ees say,
long talme ago, 'Wat ees de use! Me,
111 be dead bum by. Me, eet ees Im
possccb' that I shall go to leeve enough
long to heat dose grape, dose plum,
dose plnenp', dose rosberreo ; to smell
dose flower, to sect hon top dose
shnde.' But wlt'out heem, niadame
we're you be to-day, I bask?
"Ma moddnlre, he ees no beeld lak
dat. Mots non. nindaiue. Monsieur.
ma fadalre, she ees lose bees Job free
two homier talme. Ma poor moddnlre
he ees move, move, move, hall de taiiin
move herself hon top som' new plnss.
till he ees hardly know w'ere to look
for bees hown nuilson. But w'erevcr
he ees gone, eef he ees stop dere honly
leele w'ile, she ees plant sotu't'lngs.
, "She ees dead for firry year, ma
moddnlre; but mndame, hall horulie
hon top of Meechlgan, hon top of Can-
adaw, too; halso hon France, maybe,
ees som' rose, som' tree, som" bush.
plaut by ma good moddnlre. She ees
leave blffore her one lieeg trail of
sweet tlower, or maybe som' sour plum
or cralwip.
"Madams. I tole you som't'lng. Eeot
ees de Kplrtt lak dat. ma frlcn', dat all
dose pipples hof America should g.i
much more to possess."
dorrr Xiuci,
"We Chinese," said the law student
"give our children queer names. ( uv
girls, for liistaiuv, lire not culled Ma
bel, Jenny or Matilda, but I'l. u ly M.khi.
Celestial Happiness, Spring Peach or
Casket of I'errumes.
"Our boys get less delicious names.
, Boys are made for work ami wisdom
rather thun for dancing and pleasure,
nnd their names show this, an Prac
tical Industry, Ancestral Iwiow1.n1.'),
Complete Virtue, Ancestral Piety, Dis
creet Valor.
"To our slave we give still unorls-r
set otf luunes. Ye, those dear, lKithct
Ic little slaves of ours, some jrliis. kv
Imij-m. who do a hundred various Ilttie
tusks .llmiit the lu-use. the- lowly cve.l
tures have names like Not For Mc
Joy to Serve, Your Happiness at, J
Humbla Devotion." Cincinnati En
RIDDING SEAS
Over a year ago the Treasury Department Invited bids
for the construction of a craft specially equipped for the
destruction of the many derelicts which are a continued
menace to vessels on the high seas.
This derelict destroyer, which has been named the
Seneca, has a wireless equipment, which enables her to
receive and give Information ns to the location of dere
licts. In addition, the vessel Is provided with an am
munition room, stored with high explosives, for sinking
and blowing to pieces floating hulls and wreckage. As
in warships, provision Is made far flooding the magazines
in case of any emergency. The destroyer Is furnished
with an equipment designed to assist her in salvage and
llfe-snving work, for which her size and the 1,700-liorsc-power
engines will render her highly efficient.
It would seem to require some vessel, specially
equipped as this one Is, to clear the seas of the wrecks
which now Incumber them. In re-ent years It has been
the custom for a rescuing ship, after taking off the crew
of a storm-beaten vessel,, to set fire to the wreck. But
a derelict Is rarely, if ever, destroyed by this means,
and for the good reason that when a wooden sailing
vessel, which Is the type of craft that the majority of
derelicts are made of, reaches a condition when Its crew
finds it imperative to abandon, it, the hull, as a rule,
has become waterlogged, and therefore efforts to de
stroy It by fire ore almost always unsuccessful. Such
fires as are kindled do little else except to burn away
the miner works, thereby leaving the wreck still more
Invisible.
Through Its liydrographlc office, the Navy Department
contributes much to the safety of nil who travel upon
THE ORIGIN OF FLOWERS.
Vhore were no roses till the first child
died,
No violets, no balmy breath heartsease,
No lii'liotropp, nor buds so dear to bees.
The honey-hearted woodbine, oo gold-eyed
And white Insht daisy-flower, nor, stretch
ing wide,
Clover and sowslin-cups, like rival seas,
Meeting and parting,, as the young
spring breeze
Runs Kiddy races paying seek and hide ;
lor all flowers died when Eve left Para
dise, And all the world was ppwcrless
awhile,
Until a child was laid In earth.
Then from its grave grew violets for Its
eyes.
And from its lips rose-petals for its
smile,
And so all flowers from that child's
death took birth.
Miiurice Francis Egan.
w
,. i
$ Glockner's Scheme
"Pretty ns a little red wagon, ain't
she?"' said the storekeeper, admiringly,
us he stood In the doorway and watch
ed the poppy-trimmed straw hat going
down the street "She's a stlrrin up a
right smart o' trouble, too, they tell
me."
"It's nnchel she should," observed
Marvin Parsons, his gaze also follow-,
lng the retreating hat. "There'd orter
be a law coinpelllu' any gal that's got
niore'n her fair share o' good looks to
settle down on some one feller for bet
ter or for wuss by the time she gits to
her eighteenth birthday."
"That mout work, nu' then again it
nioutn'f," said Washington Hancock,
"In some respec's It's right an' fair, an
in others It 'ud work hardship."
"How's that?" nsked Solomon Baker.
,'Vho was It broke old Blgley's
2-year-old for him?" asked Hancock.
"Dave Harper, wasn't It?" said Par
sons. "Dave It was," said Hancock, with
a grin. "Who was it loaned Bigley his
wagon nn' worked half a day flttin' a
good new reach to It, an' never charged
the old mnn a cent for the use of It
for over n year?"
"I guess that was Jim Sellers," said
the storekeeper.
"Wlio's Blgley's hired man?" Han
cock Inquired.
"He ain't got none," answered Par
sons. "1 don't call to mind that he's
ik1 one for four or five years. Why?"
"Yes, why?" reieatod Hancock.
That's what I'm asking you fellers. If
you don't know I c'n tell you. It's
liein' he don't need no hired man's
long's he's got Mnlvlny. An' be don't
need to lack for anythln' Jliri Sellers
has got for the same reason an' Dave
Harper will break nil the colts for
him that he c'n raise."
"Oh. shucks!" said the storekeeper.
"There was old man Glockner," said
Hancock. "He had a gal, that was Jest
soch another as Malvlny Bigley. Sac
was rcd-hcttdfil ns Malvlny's dark com
plected, but they was both alike lo one
way. All the lioys was plumb crazy
over Joanna Glockner an' nil the gals
Jest liuchelly deesplsed her. She was
the pIumiK-st, peacblest. sassiest little
gal, 1 ever laid my two eyes on. I
reckon the Lord Almighty never turn
ed out a prettier Job lu the woman line
before or seniv. If He did there was
a lot of young fellers that got the
wrong Idee alwut It. They was swariu
ln around tho Glockner piace thicker'u
tiles, and It went on that-n-way for
nlfc'h to four years.
"Flniy Caleb Wells got Joanna off
by herself one day an' says he, 'I
alu't couilu' 'round here uo wire.'"
OF DERELICTS THAT MENACE
A" ' l "jllj
the seas. It publishes charts, sailing directions and
other aids to navigation; It Is constantly searching out
the dangers of the ocean and putting Its results into con
venient form. It Is truly the "track walker" of the
great deep. A recent Issue of its monthly chart shows
five derelicts now washing' about the North Atlantic.
And, with the perversity of inanimate things, they seem
ever to be where they are least wanted and where their
presence is most potential of harm. Partially submerged,
scarcely detectable by day, and almost if not wholly In
visible by night, their very existence Is unsuspected, and
the question Of plumping Into them at night or in thick
weather Is one of merest chance. The sodden and sullen
things make no signal, give no warning.
The danger that lies In them has been frequently ex
emplified. Many disasters are known to have been due
to collision with these half-hidden dangers, and it la
believed that many in that melancholy roll of "miss
ing" have staggered away from such impact to plung
under with bows crushed in and water roaring into hold
and fire rooms.
Most derelicts are the wrecks of lumber-laden sailing
vessels, "floating on their cargoes." as the Lloyds phrase
It But not long ago a steamship was added to the list,
and drifted about the North Atlantic as a menace td
shipping for nearly four months. This was the Dun
more, wrecked on the coast of Europe. No action was
taken for Us destruction until the British government
moved by numerous complaints, sent out a squadron of
warships to search for and destroy the wreck. The
search proved unavailing, the vessel probnbly having
foundered before the quest was begun.
"'Why not? asks Joanna, smllln'
up at him. 'Don't you like us?'
" 'I like you too blame well to stand
around an' watch a hull passle o'
coots mnkin shoeps' eyes at you,' says
Caleb. 'I've tried my derndost to get
you to say whether 'or no you'll take
me, an' beln' as you can't make up yoir
mind I'm goln' to sell the place an'
move out to Utah.'
" 'How do you know I can't make up
my mind?' she says. 'P'raps I've made
It up. But o' course if you're goin'
to Utah it ain't no use my tellln you.
How many wives do you allow you'll
take out there?'
"Caleb ketches holt of her an' Bhe
didn't squirm none particular. '
" 'I reckon I won't go to Utah,' says
Cnleb. 'Mlzzoura's good ernuff for
me.' '
" 'But there's this about It, Bays
Joanna, after a while. Things has
got to go on Jest the same as they has
been goln'. Paw's goln' to be mad er
nuff as 'tis.'
"'What do you mean?' asks Caleb.
" 'You go see pnw an ask him,' says
Joanna. 'He's over by the corn crib
watchln Lee Robinson shuck. Paw's
bunds has got the rheumatlz an' Lee
said he'd come over an' help him out
Mebbe Jack Ritchie's there, too.'
" 'I'll see to Lee and Jack later on,'
says Caleb. 'Here goes for the old
man.'
"He goes over to the corn crib an'
there's the boys up on a wagon shuck
in' away for dear life. Old man Glock
ner, he's settln down smokln' his pipe
nn' eucourngln' 'em. 'I never see bet
ter, quicker, cleaner shuckln ',' he says,
ns Caleb walked up. 'I must have Jo
anna come out this afternoon an' see
you all shuck. Why, here's Caleb!
Howdy, Caleb? Do you reckln you'll
ever git so's you can shuck corn as
lively as that? Try It wunst'
"'I hain't got time, now,' says Ca
leb. 'I want to speak to you on some
private an' particular business right
away.'
"The old man got up an after tell
ln the boys to keep right at It, he fol
lers Caleb around to the back o' the
barn.
"'I want to tell you that me an Jo
anna's goln' to get married, . an' I
thought I'd Bee If you didn't want to
give nie your blessin',' says Caleb.
'The ol' man looked at him steady
for a mlnuf . Then he says very slow :
'I don't want to give you a cussln' on
less you drive nie to It. Cnleb, but you
"WIIX YOU WAIT fXTIL AFTtB HAB-
vtst?" . -
alu't goiu' to do uo scch a thtilg.
You're welcome to come here with the
rest of the boys nn' tie neighborly like
they all ure, but I don't wnut Jouiuia
to decide on nothln' yet awhile.'
"'Why not?' snys Caleb.
" 'I've got my piivit reasons,' says
the old man, strokln' his billy-gout
beard. 'An' I've also got a shotgun.
"'It's lu the bouse, alu't it?' says
Caleb.
" 'Yes, It's In the bouse right handy,'
says the old man.
" Unless you're a better foot-racer
than I take you for I can bent you to
it,' snys Culeb. 'Joanna's In my buggy
right uow an' If I can't make Squire
Peterson's with her by the time you're
out to the trout gate w ith your shotgun
0CELN LINERS.
I'll farm this place five years an not
charge you a cent'
"Old man Glockner looked over to
the house, an' there by the gate, shore
'nuff was Joanna in Caleb's buggy.
" 'Caleb,' says the old man, 'why not
let things go on the way they are for
a few years an not say nothln' to no
body? Then if you want her you
can have her.'
"Caleb 6hook his head.
"Will you wait till after harvest
then?'
"'No, slree,' says Caleb. 'Ill wait
long enough for you to get on a b'lled .
shirt an' go with us to the squire's.'
" 'See here, Caleb,' says the old man.
Thar's no use beln' mulish about this
thing. I'll compremlse with you. You
wait till evenln until after Lee an'
Jack has got that corn shucked an
In the crib an' I'll go with you to the
squire's. But I'm bound to get that
woch done. It's the last free help I'll
get"' Kenneth Harris In Chicago
Daily News.
A BEDROOM IN A TREE.
Sleeping outdoors In a rudely con
structed bouse erected among branches
of a high walnut tree In the heart of
Flatbush, N. Y., is the novel method a
young man has taken of "getting near
to nature." The "tree house," as the
people In the neighborhood call It, is
located on the lawn surrounding the-
THE BEDROOM IS THE TBEE.
home. A wooden stairway winds around!
the tree's trunk lending to the single
chamber above, allowing an eusy ascent
to be made. The entire structure Is
made of wood.
At first the intention was simply to
build a "crow's nest," where the "tree
sleeper" and his companions could se
clude themselves on rainy afternoons
and days when it was too hot for ac
tive exercise. The "crow's nest" did
not prove to be large enough, so the
boys added a large platform, which
forms what they call their piazza. Thfs
piazza Is roomy enough for an ordi
nary sized dining room table and com
fortably accommodates six or eight
diners.
Then the boys decided that they
would like to see how it would feel to
Bleep out In tho open. They covered
the' top of tho house with panes of
glass, and this gave them all the light,
day or night, they needed. The trial
worked so well that they declared that
thereafter they would, while the weath
er was warm, sleep In the tree.
A tirnruua lteiuet.
I'orter Emerson Browne came Into
the office yesterday. He had been out
in the country for a week and was
wry cheerful. Just ns he was leaving
he said: "Did you hear about that
man who died the other day and left
all he had to the orphanage?"
"No," some one answered. "How
much did he leave?''
"Twelve children."
Mr. Browne left, too. Everybody's
Magazine.
One. poor little fly lu the bedroom
In the morning will do more effectual
work than a dozen alarm clocks, costs
less, and never gets out of repair.