Opinions of STRENGTH OF SHIP IS ROBAl'.LY our navy is ss wo are not fool tab If we think It tho best. There are complaint against .all navies. Many years ago, when the Inflexible vai on the storks In England, able constructors provetl by mathematics that when launched slie would turn wrong aide up, but she did not. The Philadelphia of our nivy was top-heavy and narrowly escr.pod turning oer. Her top hamper was re duced, with the eflVt of adding to her stability, hut without curing entirely a fundamental mistake In the calculations of the coiiMr.utor, and she has jcoue Into permanent retirement. Hut none of our t-hlps built since her time have been a-runed of being top-heavy. A Ger man paper is now publishing a series of articles attack ing the value of German warships and denouncing the Minister of Marine. Probably no warship is indestructi ble. The Jaip.iips war vessels might have been de stroyed by RoJcstvcns.Vy's puns If the Russians had hit them. In the language of .the Wild West, the Japanese ' fleet "got tho drop" 0:1 the Russian ,vese!s. When two fleets meet, tho one whi).se (tun are the poorest served will be destroyed. Philadelphia Record. THE NATION'S BREAD. 1 1 AT bread is justly entitled to be called the "staff of life" la fully borne out by Investl- Al gallons of the 1'nlted States Department of I iVnniuirK anil Tjihor This dloiinrtment made an Investigation to determine the amount spent for food by a "normal" la boivr's family. The data obtained from the 11,150 families whose expenses were studied showed the average amount six'iit for food by a family consisting of husbund, wife and Ave children to be $329.19 per year. It U Interesting to noto how the so-called normal family of the average laborer, which seems rather above the normal In size, apportlous its money for food and other necessities. Tweuty-nlne dollars and twenty cents Is ex pended for bread, flour and cereals, and while the cost of the bread Is small compared with that of other foods, the amount of nutriments and energy derived from It Is large. The lalsirer's meat bill is the largest of all. Ho sjiends $110.50 per year for all kinds of meat, three and a half time as much as for bread. Ills butter costs him about as much a bis bread, and sugar half as much,, while about the same nun Is spent for potatoes and vegetables as for bread. Thirty-eight dollars goes for milk and es. More coffee Is used than tea ; about $10 Is spent for the one and $." for the other. Religion, charity and tobacco claim nearly equal amounts, while Intoxicating liquors come lu for a Labor organizations get about $'.) per Is contributed to the support of State HE FOUND A FRIEND. 1 A thinly clad young man was walk ing along a city street one winter toaornlng, eating peanuts from a flve u Bent sack in his coat pocket, In lieu 'of breakfast, whsn he saw a number of boys tfrytng to attract the attention of floc'k of hungry pigeons in the street by tsslng cracker crumbs at them. He -tr;,)fJ and Joined In the fun by shell ing some of .his peanuts, breaking the kernels into small pieces, and throw ing theru on tho pavement near the birds. Recognizing a new iM'iiefactnr, they flocked round him, eagerly picking up his offerings, but keeping an eye on him meanwhile, prepared for instant flight In the event of his becoming too familiar. Ixng experience had taught them to be suspicious of strangers, Stooping down and holding a tempt ing morsel between his lingers, he call ed the birds gently. At first they shrank back, hut pres ently an old bird, having first lusiected him critically with one eye and then With the other, stepped forward ginger ly, plucked the titbit from his lingers, and darted away.-' Not finding the ex- erlenoe so very terrible, tho old bird oon came back, nad was rewarded With another choice bit of peanut. The ether pigeons speedily followed the ex ample. "That's more than they'd do for any of us," said one of the boys. The young man gave the pigeons about half hla stock of peanuts, aud tnen straightened up. 'That's all I cau spare, you this time," he said starting away. A middle-aged man who had been watching the performance with consid erable Interest tapped hlni on the shoul- "Young man," he said, "are you look log for work?" "Am I?' was the response. "I've been tramping over this town for a week, hunting a job." "What can you do?" "I'm a sort of Jack of all trades. lan carpenter a little, run an engine, lepeir bicycles and " "Can you take care of horses?" "Can I? said the young man, his ace lighting up. "I was raised on a farm." "Well, come along with me. I need a. coachman, and I'm not afraid to trust toy thoroughbreds with you. I'll take he recommendation tho birds have Just given you. Will you work for me for thirty dollars a month and board till fo And something better? Would he? Well! The young man Is now his middle aged employer's trusted man of all work, with a wa;" to co-respond, and the nlgons have never had otvasiou to retract their re o;nnioicV' ! kn. Died i:ull- ..i.Uim.i l;irtor. While rummaging among the simple mountain folk lu the province of Cau sal the Kaiser ell.-: o.civcl a good-sized tillage withi-ut a physic -Ian In It. "How can ymi ppiplo get alum? wit! out a physician?" queried bis mijesty Whereupon a man of mi to N." answer d nonchalanTy : "As well as we may Tour majesty, we liml it quite easy to cflle without doctors when our time has tome." Tho average n. u U s.icu a baby 1u.1t evtfy time the potatoes are not fried to suit him, he got 11 look on his face a If he were playing the star part la "Driven from Home. i 1 Great Papers on Important Subjects MIM. menu in the form ef taxes, Sickness and death en tt average claim $20.M. It la quite apparent that breed and flour do not form a very large Item of the food ex pense of the normal laborer's family, as only ft per cent of the coat of the food goes for bread and 81 per cent far all other feed articles. Harry Snyder, la Harper's Monthly. good aa any, ami countries as Itussla and Germany, In France and Italy, where Immense standing armies are nalntalaed and do civilian Is quite so good as a man In uniform, the mili tary spirit la dominant But here In peaceful America, which maintains an army eo small that moat ef Its la habitants never see a regular soldier, we call on the army In emergencies, Just as a street car motormau tele phones for the "trouble wagon." If there la a formidable riot the army la called upon to suppress it; if there Is a celebration the army must be in the parade; at the funeral of a noted man the soldiers must march in the procession. They open new lands to settlement, police wild mining regions, look after vast parka and forest reserves. When disasters come they act aa life savers, salvage corps, firemen, police men and distribute of relief. When a great fire sweeps Baltimore they are at work before the ashes are cold, and they are the first to respond to the danger call when terrible earthquake, with its following flames, laye in ruins San Francisco. They string telegraph wires to Alaska and march to Goldfleld to preserve order. In times of war all armies are busy in the tented field ; but the American army Is kept pretty busy in times of peace. Baltimore Sun. 9 . I HERE T and hopes the lesson will be taken to heart by other heiresses of marriageable age. But It never Is. The lure of tho title is still potent. Yet It la doubtful If Congress can do anything about It Cleveland Plain Dealer. much larger share, year, while $o.79 and local govern REMARKABLE RAILWAY ACCIDENT. S . ..V. ,-.--ACVt 'W--VCA- --1 ' j'. mmmm t'fir CURIOUS RESULTS OF A COLLISION NEAR LUDHIANA, INDIA. A remarkable collision occurred near Ludhlanu, on the Northwestern Railway of India. The engines on colliding reared upright, and remained so with their foreparts together In the air, forming an arch. The debris of the trains was heaped around on all sides. In the accident twenty people were killed. The Sphere. BADITJM TO PHILIPPINES. OncK-Thoaaaullth of Gram for El- prrlmrnla Cool SH.OOO. The bureau of lnxular affairs recent ly paid the largest price for the small est shipment ever sent to the Philip pines, says a Washington correspond ent of the New York Tribune. It has bought for $.1,000 one-thousandth of a gram of radium, which Is equal to .01M1 of a grain, Troy weight Th purchase, which was made In New York, in for tho bureau of science of the 1'hiHppines, which purposes to use the radium in a series of experiments It is about to conduct. The insular bureau Is in something ef a quandary as to how it shall ship this precious mineral speck, but It Is assumed ' that the New York concern from which It Is bought will manage to pack It In a Kuttlclcut number of wrap pers to plve It at least tangible bulk. When the requisition reached the bu reau the act in-,' chief calmly called for quotation mil iv.diuiii by the ikiuihI or ounce, but the New York purveyors evi dently feared that the price on radium In Filch quantities would cause mental and pliyniral collapse In the bureau and aecordiiij;ly disregarded the speci fications and quoted a price of $.'l,tKM) for the quantity above noted. Major Mclntyre, It Is stated on trust worthy authority, put on his stroiiet Fiiectaclcs and then sent for a magni fying glass merely to read th qiiota , tlon, after which he aent It by wire to OUB BUSY ARMY. HOUGH Anierloana are always for peace, even If they have to right for It; though they are constantly advising other natloaa to disarm, and are given to the holding of peace conferences, they produce officers and soldiers that measure up well with those of any other country on the globe. In euch EXPERIENCE NO TEACHEB. appear to be certain well-denned abuses against which It Is useless to legis late. The law's baud is often clumsy and. unfitted to deal with matters of delicacy, Every time an American girl trades a for tune for a title and then lives to regret It, the American public sympathizes with her I ," f !"'T '.W'cyiciriliimi ten f lie .'l',;'i'''WI,iccjc, i 1. cccjJMcy m IJjSJ m V. 'h'C '.i r. ! -. -1 . .1 . ., 1;. ,1 . .tini -.I'l i., 1..,iVV..V. c iVu-cVv. -i- : ill Manila, but with little expectation that the offer would be accepted. Greatly to his surprise, however, he received a reply a few hours later saying, In ef feet, that tho bureau of science would like $3,0(X) worth, but would regard the price as too high If uny extra charge was made for boxing or ship ping. Accordingly the radium will soon be forwarded. The I'alnpcra of Newport. Some of the palaces of the wealthy at Newport have surrounding lawns ami gardens covering as much as leu neres; but most of them lie close to gether In bewildering succession. In Kuropo touch magnificent structures would each own a magnificent park of many hundred acres. The Newport villa Is built, however, not for comfort, not In rhyme or reason, but purely for show.. It Is a stupe suiting, gorgeous, gleaming, golden. ine Is surrounded by a tree-crowned wail, which cost over $Kic",()00. It li empty; the owner is away In Europe. That while marble palace, a Vanderbllt residence, Is also unoccupied. There's "Tho l'.rctikers," 11I.su owned by the Vandei'bllts, the maintenance of which costs a half million dollars a season. And the Iierwind villa, the fair and famous garden of which so displeased Its mistress that she turned It over to her servants and will not enter" 4 1 Every man has a right to keee his I opinions to Limself. BOY VANI3HED IS THE MAN. eM................s'asMsca'Me Ixstt I have loat him I When did he go) Ughtly I clasped blui. How could I know T Out of my dwelling be would dvart, Even ns I held hlin close to my heart? Lost 1 I have lost him I Somewhere betwaea Schoolhouae and collef elast he was seen. L'ps full of whistling, curl-tangled h Mr Lost I I have loot hlM I Would I kbew where. Iiost I I have loot him, Chester, my boy t Flcturo book, story book, marbles and toy, Stored in the attic, useless they lie. ( Why should I care so mnchT Mothers, tell whys Yes, he has gone from me, leaving no sign, ' But there's another calls himself mine. Handsome and strong of limb, brilliant is he; Knows things that I know not. Who caa It bet Face like ihe father's face, eyes black as mine. Steps full of manly grace, voice masculine; Yes, but tlie gold of life has but one alloy, Why does the mother heart long for her boy Ixng for the mlsehevlous, queer little chap Ignorant, questioning, held In my lap? Freshman so tall and wise, answer me this? Where Is the little boy I used to kiss? Cork Examiner. CINDERS naif way through the park the boy itth the dog stopped and looked around him. A chill wind bad sprung up, and the wide, elm-bordered puth was almost leserted. "Jlmlny!" muttered the boy. "This log-steallu' ain't what It's cracked up ter be. I've a good mind now ter leave the little beast where he Is:" It had been growing ou the boy for an hour this terror. All the elation Df that first moment of smvessful theft bad fled, leaving behind a lively fear of pursuit and punishment The Incrimi nating collar w ith Its uame and address bad long ago been thrown away, to be Jure; but there yet remained the dog "Cinders," according to the collar. "Taln't wuth the risk," muttered the toy at last; and with another swift lance about him he tied the end of the dog's leader to 1 convenient settee, and ran down a se path toward xthe ave aue. ' For one amazed Instant the dog stay ed motionless, then he strained at the cord with all his wuall might, giving a terles of frantic barks and whines. Two men and a woman, coming up the path, (lanced at the do?, swerved, and pass ed by ou the farther side. A small boy ihled a stone, then ran; hut a back sard glance assuring him that the cord till held, he turned and shied a larger one. Tbe wind from the east grew sharp tr. and brought a fine, cold rain. The flog, exhausted, frightened and hope lessly miserable, crept under the bench for shelter. He was there yvhon the tall, blue-coated man came llown the path ten minutes later, u'ndso he es caped the cold gray eyes of Officer O'Callaban. The rain Increased with the dark, lly midnight, hunger, cold and terror had driven the dog almost wild. Little by little his Jerks and pulls loosened the cord about his throat, until one last frenzied effort disentangled the knot and set him free. lli paused, then rushed down the path, leaving behind blin the cord still fastened to the settee. At the edge of the park the dog Itopped. The endless blocks, the lights, the shadows all were unfaniifiar and confusing. Cinders, born and bred In the Western town that was his master's borne, had never been in New York antll that morning when he had come with that same master ou a visit East, only to be stolen at the very rallroiA station by the In.y who had so quickly abandoned him. No wonder Cinders fyed his surroundings In dismay ! Up one street, down another, across a third trotted the weary little feet, hour af ter hour, until at dawn tho dog reach ed once more the park, nnd dejectedly flragged his way to the bench which had so recently held him n prisoner. ' It was then that there began for Cln flers a new existence. An existence of anxious days aud apprehensive nights; Of little food and less shelter; of small boys with stones, and big boys with ticks. Ills long, silky hair grew soiled and matted, his body lean, and hi eyes wild and terror-filled. Once n blue coated, heltneted man with short club chased him for some distance, but In the bewildering maze of paths he elud rd his pursuer and crouched under a low-hanging bush until the man, pufllils and awearlng, had passed him by. It was a trying experience, but a neces sary one; after that Cinders hid when a blue coat came in sight. Roth the park and the adjacent streets flinders cluluied as home, but 'after his experience u'ith the blue-coat ed man ho grew more wary; and when In the park sp'-nt most of his time hid ing under shrubs or behind trees until night brought darkness and safety. Aa for food sometimes u bread-cr:mr designed for a squirrel was snatched up by h-Is own hungry little Jaws, and once it was the squirrel Itself that made bis dinner. Occasionally a child with a cooky, ir a man with a sand wich, strolled along unaware of tin hungry eyes that peered out from be omeath tangled hair and watched for u itray crumb thrown aside. 1 It was toward the end of the week that Cinders, skulking under the trees In tho twilight, came face to face with B shabby, hollow-eyed man on one of the park settees. "Hullo!" .erected the man. Tho dog backed away.' "Well, by Jove! ypu look a little hiore hard up than I do. f.'oine here, lr." The dog did not stir. "Pretty tough old placed this world eh?" said tliu man with a weary smile. Rill the dug did not stir. HungTy r Two mournful eyes gaze1 unseerr- I Ingly Into the man's face. The duat of the dog'a heela stirred faintly with the slightthe very slight motion of a tail feebly wagged. "Hump!" gnfnted the man, thrusting his hands Into his pockets and pulling out a dime and four copper cents. He glanced from the coins to the dog, and from the dog back to the coins. "Humph!" he grunted again, rising to h'.s feet. "Reckon you need 'em the most, old fellow." And he smeblded down the path that led to the avenue. When he came back some minutes later he threw a hurried look about him, then drew a sandwich from the paper bag In hla hand. "Come, air, come good fellow l" he called softly. A bird ehlrpe,d overhead. "Come, sir, come! Where are yon, Weary Willie?" called the man again, peering Into the shadows. The Hlleuco w as unbroken. Until It was quite dark the man sat on the bench and waited ; then he roso aud walked away. Ou the next night twilight found the hollow-eyed, shabby man on the same bench. Tho dot?, too, found him there "Humph!" growled the man, throw ing that same quick look about him, "THINK IT'S A JOKK, W TOD?" and dragging from his pocket a paper bag. "Seems to me you were a good while coming 1" He extracted a sund wlch, broke off a generous piece, and tossed It to the doc. "Snap went the famished Jaws and the dog came at ones to "attention." "Ah, ha!" crowed the man. "So you were hungry!" He threw a aecond piece, then another, and another. "There!" he exclaimed, when the sand wich was finished. ' "How do you feel, Weary Willie?" The dog whined, and took a tentative step forward. "What's your nau e 'Jack'?" There was a slow wagging ef the dog's tall. "'FldoT The tall wagged harder. "'Rover'?" There waa a quick, abort bark. "Come here, air," ordered the maa but at the outstretched hand the dog turned and ran; the memory of those friendless days and nights waa set to be so lightly cast aside. It came to be a regular thing after that for the shabby man to bring nightly sandwich to the bench In the park, aud for the dog to come and eat It. There was always an exchange of courtesies in the shape of Jovial greet lugs aud sharp barks, and gradually the dog lost his fear. Three times h tried to follow his new friend home, but the sharp "( back, sir, go back! brought the little eager feet to s halt and hcut the dog slinking back to th shadows, there to stand with wistful eyes gazing after the shabby figure d appearing down the street. "After all, Where's the use of It, Weary' Willie?" asked the man one night when, the sandwich gone, the two s.it together on tho bench. "Where's tin) usu of It? There's no one to care what becomes of us, you and me. Ia'Vh chuck it!" The dog thumped his tall against the leat. Humph! Think It's a Joke, do you? Well, maybe 'tis, maybe 'tis." There was something queer about the man that nUht. His voice shook, ami was not quite clear; his step, too, was far from steady, and he dropped on the seat with a curious relaxation of all bis muscles. The next night It was worse, and tho next worse still. There was a (tat bnttlo which be brought again and agftln from his pocket and put to his I1(is after a cautious look about him. 8s flared toafer anl letter eaek tight, ia fedmeUi he aeemea to sleep, so lev was Kta head bowed on bis breast At iocs times the dog spent long mla ate la motionless watehlng of the si lent figure ftriof eccasloaaJly a low whine a wblae watch met with no re sponse. There had bee almost a week of this when one night the rata slipped from ths seat and jay half oa the ground. Cinders leaped to the man's tide and licked h1 face, his bsnds, aad again hla face. Be whined, then bark ed, thea stood flulverlngly alert for the slightest movement At that instant down the path came several boys eat ing bananas. a There waa a chorus of Jeers, then a fusillade of banana skins. Cinders, fierce and bristling, faced the crowd and barked. He growled sad shewed bis aasll white teeth, aa from all sides came men sad boys oa the run. More banana skins, aad even small stones, struck the man, fhe dog and the ground nearby. Still the dog atood firm, thrust ing his tiny, fierce little self between the Inert figure and the crowd. Suddenly tue maa opened his eyes. One glance at the mob, the dog and the flying stones and banana skins cleared hla brain. With a snarl of rage he caught the quivering little dog In his arms and staggered to his feet There was a cry of "The cop's coraln' 1" sad the maa found himself all at once alone with the dog, while up the path came a blue-coated, hurrying figure. Clasping the dog yet more firmly In his arms, the man turned aad walked rapidly la the opposlt direction. "Come, come, what's the meaning of all this?" called the policeman, between L short, panting breaths, aa be realised the shabby msa's llde. Nothing," returned the man, lacon ically. "But the crowd what were they do ing?" "Stoning the dog and me." "Stoning youl Been drlnkin'r "Do I act drunk?" retorted the man, sharply. The policeman gave him a long, shrewd glance. "Mighty near it," he growled. Then he tried a new tack. "Whose dog Is Itr he demanded. "Mine." There waa a ring of defi ance In the man's voice. , . "Where's Its collar? Got a license?" probed the policeman. It will have by this time to-mor row," "Looks to me mighty like the little devil of a beast I've been chasln' In these 'ere parts fur the laat month. I've had more'n a dozen complaints of a stray dog; but I couldn't catch the lit tle varmint" "You'll not have any complaints of this dog," said the man, quietly, aa he tdrned off at one of the side paths. It was then that existence for Cin ders changed yet again. It became now a thing of kind words, scanty but gladly given food, and a bed In one corner of a sparsely furnished room tip many flights of stairs. There were the same walka In the park, only now he both went and came with the man. There was the same bottle, and there was the same cautious tipping of It to the man's lips but perhaps less fre quently now. At all events, there nev er again came a time when the man wss not fairly erect and In his right mind ss be sat on the bench. As the ' summer passed the man's clothes became more ahabby, and his cheeks more hollow. At first he had (hie away from the room each morn ing and returned at night clinking a few loose coins In his pockets; but now days and days passed when he did not leave the room until night, appar ently preferring to Ho for hours on the bed In the corner with bis face to the wall. "Where's the use?" he would say more end more frequently, as Cinders would leap upon the bed and coax him, dog fashion, to go out for a walk. "Where's the use, Wenry Willie? If there was some one to care, I'd quit It" he went on one day. "Perhaps I'd never even have begun. She cared once, Weary Willie 1 she said she did; but it didn't last It didn't laat She got tired and skipped skipped." There was a long pause, then the voice began again. "You don't blame her, do you, Weary Willie? Maybe you'll aklp some day eh? She aald 'twas Inoompatlbll lty, eld fellow ; ln-cem-patl-blllty. Long one, lan't It? But net half bo long as the misery It holds. B'pose It will be that war with as, eld boy lncompatl- Wlltyr The dog whined and leaped to the fleer. "Ual" cried the maa. whimsically, "to yon do want to leave me, sir? By .Tore, old fellow, I should think you would," hs added, suddenly, getting to his feet "Come, lefs go for a walk! 'Days paaaed. Both man and dog grew thinner, and the nights when the sasa came home clinking coins In his pocket grew fewer and fewer. Even the walks at twilight were not taken so frequently now, and the man had fall en Into the way of passing long silent evenings, gazing blankly Into space. Sometimes there was In his hands gleaming thing of polished metal, which he handled llngerlngly, almost lovingly "Come, let's chuck it. Weary Willie, you aud I," he would say. And when the dog barked and whined, he would mile aud lay the thing aside with the luughlng reproof: "Why, old fellow, it doesn't hurt I It's all over beforo you even know it's begun I" Thero enme a day when Cinders had no breakfast, no dinner, no supper. All day long thd man had been tramplu the room like some wild thing. He, too. had not eaten, but bo had twlc picked up the gleaming thing of polish ed steel, only to lay It down again. At dusk his Jaws rot In sudden stern lines. With one stride he reached the table, clutched the revolver, and raised it to his head. Almost Instantly there came a frantic bark and a sharp report. Tho woman coming up the stairs thought the two had occurred at thj same instant; but the man In the bare room on the top floor knew that the bark had come Just In time to startle him so that the ball had found a harm less ret lug place In the wall across tho room. "Good God I can't you let a fellow ccMiMMcyq,MM,aMMM,WBMM'' be t- h stormed at the d at th re v rolver fell from his relaxed bands. The! next laataat be strode to the door In' answer to a frightened knock.- "Oh-hlH breathed the woman on tsldej In glad relief, as she saw that the maa, was at least alive. "Torn! bow could! you? Ae you hurt?" she cried, step-' ping swiftly Inside and closing th door. The msa fell back In amazement Sally 1 you?" Tes, dear, yes. I've come back Tem. I'te been miserable, wretched without you. Twas my fault, dear- the whole of It I've come back. Won't you take me?" A ahamed red came Into the man' fsce. "But, Sally, I " his eyes swept ths bsre rootri, and a despairing ges ture told how little he had to offer. "Yea, yes, I know," murmured the womsn, comlung close to his side. "You get discouraged, and things went wreag. But we'll change all that now.. We'll begl again. Why, Tom, I'm'. K... r. . W'1 1 afncf f.1 gather. Tom, don't you want me?" "Want you! Sally!" And his hun gry arms closed about her. Leag minutes afterwsrds the man, the wemaa and the dog sat down to gether. -."After all. Weary Willie," said the maa, softly, ss be patted the dog's bead. "I reckoa It's Jnst as well you did bark wbea you did, a little bit ago. There's some one now to care." 1 Ssa Iranclsco Argonaut Tke Try rlalrcBcl Hu, la the early stages of a Journey wkkih VL W. nowe, the editor of the totalson Globe, has recorded In lila- recent book, "Dally Notes of a Trip Around the World," a railroad man came Into the car In which he was traveling and took uLs railroad tickets and Pullman tickets. Mr. Howe says be would have given the man his mon- . , ey and Ws watch had he asked for them, for he haa learned to trust rail road men. Then Mr. Howe tells how this came about The foreign railroad' men taught him to trust his brethren everywhere. It. A good many years sgo, Mr. Howe continues, I bought a long tourist tick et from Parle to London, by way of . Switzerland, the Rhine, the battlefield of Waterloo, and so forth. When I . first started on the long tour, with Its I many changes, I would collect my bag gag , and attempt to get off every time the tram stopped, but a railroad man would shove me back. Wfcen I finally arrived at a Junction point a railroad man would, appear at ' the car door and pull me out When my train departed, the same man would shove me Into the proper car and cloee the door. I couldn't speak a word of his language, and he couldn't ppeak a word of mine, but he took the tiest possible care of me. All this Impressed me so much that turned myself over to the railroad men unreservedly, and enjoyed my trip without the sllghest care. At one place no trfdn was waiting " when the railroad man pulled me out of the coach, and I Judged that the train on which I should resume my Journey was not due for some time. 1 , therefore concluded to go uptown and , , look round, knowing that the railroad man would look after me. The town was Lausanne, and aftet I had looked about for an hour or two, a married man generally has to get vrg began pushing me toward the station. It seemed that he had conslderabls trouble In finding me, for he was In a hurry, and pushed me along rapidly. Arriving at the station, he shoved ma Into the proper coach, handed In. my baggage, and closed the door. I visited a great many points of in terest, necessitating a very circuitous tour, but I never missed a connoction ; the railroad men took care of me nnd they found me very willing and apprei dative. The tour Included a trip over the Alps by stage and when the tourists arrived at the place where they were to change stages, they dashed Up to ths stage station and secured all the seat a But I knew the railroad men would look after me, since I bad a ticket, sa I was vary deliberate and waited. When It was time to start over the Alps, and It was found that I had no seat, the agent ordered out a carriage, and I rode In It all day long, while ths piggish passengers the passengers who did not trust the railroad inee were crowded Into the stages, luslde and outside. Tee Hlarh. 7 ' "The autumn," said Bben EL Emery, New York's weather forecaster, "Is by far our finest American seasoa. For eigners visiting as should Invariably come In the autumn. Suddenly Mr. Emery smiled. I am reminded of an old autumn song," he said. "'A thousand leaves are falling' Is the way it begins. .V lady, at a church concert, rose to sins thla song. " 'A thousand leaves are falling, sha carolled, and then her voice broke lnt a screech, and she had to stop, for sha. had pitched the song too high. " 'Start her at 5XV shouted an auo. j tioneer from the gallery." Decidedly Darular-Proof. A reranrkabl. burglar-proof safe haa . been placed In a bank lu England. At night the safe la lowered by cables Into an Impregnable metallic-lined sub vuult of masonry and concrete. After reaching the bottom It Is fastened down by massive steel lugs, operated by a triple time lock. Until these lugs are released automatically at a desired tlmo no human agency can ralso the safe, and to break lu through a mas of stone and concrete which measure 10 by Id feet with dyuamlte would, wreck the building without making It) jiosslblo to get at tho safe. Nut an Oullnv. "Ever beeu lu Siberia?" asked the re. porter. "Er yes," answered the distinguish ed Russian refugee. "I took a knoutlnj there one Bummer." Chicago Tribune. When a very old girl becomes en gaged, she doesn't care If peottlf know It